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Archive for January, 2007



Lunch Meats

January 31st, 2007 at 11:21 am by Preston Taylor Holmes

Paging Smantix, paging Smantix!

Please tell me you took your digital camera to work today, S. Get some extra meat on your lunch hour.

Animal rights activists from PETA are promising to hold a nude protest in downtown Nashville today, even with frigid temperatures currently around 12 degrees.

A protester will be nude and will be “charred” and “cooked” on a grill while slathered with barbecue sauce, the group said in a press release. The protest is against eating meat.

It will be at noon at the intersection of Fourth Avenue North and Church Street, the group said in a news release.

You know, funny thing, I once dated a vegetarian chick and she had no problem eating meat.

h/t Krummy

Scientists: Global Warming “Bitchin’”

January 30th, 2007 at 3:00 pm by Cranky

A consortium of climatologists today released a UN sponsored report on the medium-term effects of global warming.

Highlights of the report:

  • If left unchecked, global warming will have a profound effect on human and, more significantly, all other life on this planet.
  •  

  • An increase of just two tenths of a degree Farenheit could cause significant rainfall over traditionally arid places like the American Southwest. Diverse desert life like cacti and those giant turtles could be endangered as grasslands and forests encroach on their habitat.
  •  

  • Agriculture could spread to areas of Canada currently too cold to cultivate. The resulting increase in the food supply may encourage more people to eat and subsequently breed. Many of these people would be Canadian.
  •  

  • Places which encourage depression and suicide like Portland, Oregon could possibily become “downright Costa Rican” by mid-century. Important social movements like “Grunge”, already endangered, may well go extinct.

Or if you prefer, here’s the standard doom ‘n gloom. Their stuff is more accurate anyway:

Global warm-monger Stephen Schneider ramps up the fear in 1996:

On the one hand, as scientists we are ethically bound to the scientific method, in effect promising to tell the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but — which means that we must include all the doubts, the caveats, the ifs, ands, and buts. On the other hand, we are not just scientists but human beings as well.

So we have to offer up scary scenarios, make simplified, dramatic statements, and make little mention of any doubts we might have. This ‘double ethical bind’ we frequently find ourselves in cannot be solved by any formula. Each of us has to decide what the right balance is between being effective and being honest. I hope that means being both.

Be afraid. They need you to be afraid.

Pariah, I Don’t Think it Means What You Think it Does

January 30th, 2007 at 10:57 am by Cranky
Last year, the “international pariah” called the U.S. set a record for exports — shattering the previous record — set the year before by that “international pariah” called the U.S.

Courtesy of Don Surber

Angelina Jolie Shocker!

January 29th, 2007 at 8:44 am by Cranky

According to this article, Anglina Jolie had a mother.

The loss of her mother is tragic, but also clarifying. Rumors that Jolie was a genetic experiment in the cross-breeding of an actor and a Hollywood holistic healing center/ drug rehab are now forever put to rest.

When You Wish Upon A Ho

January 29th, 2007 at 1:27 am by Smantix

Forget trips to Disneyland, sharing a bowl of Chunky with Donovan McNabb, or getting Dave Chappelle to whip your ass in some Street Hoops. For one dying, 22-year old Oxford man suffering from Muscular Dystrophy – he had a different wish. And getting a hug and a tug from Goofy wouldn’t do: (reservoir tip – RTG)

A young disabled man who receives care for his life-limiting illness at a hospice run by a nun spoke yesterday of his decision to use a prostitute to experience sex before he dies.
[...]
Mr Wallis told staff at the Douglas House hospice in Oxford that he wanted to experience sexual intercourse. He explained that he had hoped to form an intimate and loving relationship with a woman, but his disability had acted as a barrier.
[...]
“I had to recognise that if was to experience sex I would have to pay for it out of my savings…”

That’s where the nuns come in.

Hot Nun Action
Hot. Nun. Action.

Sister Frances described Mr Wallis as “delightful, intelligent and aware young man”.

I know that some people will say ‘You are a Christian foundation. What are you thinking about?’. But we are here for all faiths and none,” she said.

Too much time confined in hospice has got young Nick thinking small.

The difference between simply scratching a hump off his to-do list and dying happy might be to get him two whores at the same time. Raising the mast, reverse frog squat or bobbing for apples (link NSFW or people with chronic lower back pain). Ladies of ill-repute were ADA accessible long before many of our federal buildings.

Bobbing For Apples
I don’t know why it’s called “bobbing for apples”. It just is.

Come now, sister. Praise the Lord and pass the offering plate one more time.

False Impressions

January 27th, 2007 at 9:40 pm by Smantix

Time for another exciting round of “Name That Blogger”:

I’m a former tomboy turned set of typing tits who lucked into a sweetcake job that saved me from the food service industry. Desperate to affirm my progressive bonafides, I packed up my can of Aquanet and beat a path from hillybilly hollow to hipster doofus. My emotional smock stained – my existence consists of running (not walking) away from my own white trash pedigree.

Only 3 years of Volkswagen payments to go while I work on the Great American Novel!

Racing For Code Pinks
Dual side airbags, anti-lock brakes, and liberal street cred come standard on all base model VWs

(more…)

And Speaking of American Idol

January 25th, 2007 at 6:41 pm by Cranky

Here is one contestant worth watching.

Well done video antics.

Hugo Chavez: American Idol Fan

January 24th, 2007 at 10:48 pm by annika

Hugo Chavez, the world’s second most popular dictator, announced today that his mentor Fidel Castro is not dead yet.

“Fidel walked I don’t know how many minutes yesterday,” Chavez said Wednesday, noting he suspected Castro was watching his speech on television. “He’s walking more than me, almost jogging. Maybe he’s walking while watching us.”

In fact, Castro is feeling so good, he apparently walked all the way to Memphis, as those of us who watched American Idol last night can testify.

chavez and ai

Chavez later held up a photograph and said, “I’m going to show you something, for those who say that Fidel is dying, that he can’t talk, that he can’t move.”

The TV camera zoomed in on the photograph, showing Castro performing on Fox’s American Idol television show. “He looks good, sí? And he sings even better. We are extremely happy, Fidel, about the news of your recuperation.”

Welcome to Hollywood Fidel!

Please Adjust Your Links

January 24th, 2007 at 6:49 pm by Cranky

Here are some updates from blogger-friends:

Digger has set up a blog dedicated to the only thing he blogged about at Digger’s Realm – Immigration, The Dark Side of Illegal Immigration.

Cranky’s old friend Tiki Pundit has forsaken his Hawaiian roots and is now baking in the hot Southwestern sun at 4 Borders Pundit.

Finally, Jules Crittenden shook off the cheap Blogger digs and set himself up with a dee-lux blog at, get ready, Jules Crittenden.com.

That is all. We now return you to you regularly scheduled non-blogging at Six Meat Buffet.

Oops, almost forgot… Billy informs me that PointFive Blog is back in action after a brief haitus. And that reminds me that John from Wuzzadem had a nasty accident and took some time off too. Fortunately, he appears to be back and in great form.

Annoying Technological Advances

January 24th, 2007 at 11:54 am by Cranky

I’m feeling cranky today. Not about anything in particular. Whatever.

Anyway, whose idea was this?

reportserver.gif

Do you know what it is? It is the new hourglass symbol. It tells you that the web page is loading or that your bank account info is being loaded.

Maybe I’m ticked that I didn’t get the memo and I had to learn about it when it started to appear everywhere.

Look at it. Smugly spinning like it doesn’t have a care in the world.

Die stupid spinning circle.

Die.

Placeholder for Smantix

January 23rd, 2007 at 4:01 pm by Cranky

This should be right up his alley, yet he’s nowhere to be found.

The Congressional Black Caucus racially profiled Tennessee Rep. Steven Cohen and denied him access to their drinking fountains.

Being a Northerner and that Cohen is a Democrat being trampled by his own, I don’t have a dog in this fight.

But I’m dying to hear what our own Smantix has to say.

More Tennessee flavor with 25% less tar:

Sharon Cobb is a Cohen supporter – Her thoughts? Only a suspicious silence.

A.C. Kleinheider penned the article – Is he a Crypto-Nazi?

I often wonder how white progressives like Steve Cohen don’t come out their experiences as straight up white nationalists. Here is a man with a lifetime of public service experience serving the progressive cause and the black community.

hmmm.

Red Meat UPDATE:

The first comment by one Sean Braisted, whose very name has caused so much mirth on this very site, has this to say about ugly racism:

“I often wonder how white progressives like Steve Cohen don’t come out their experiences as straight up white nationalists.”

Two reasons.

1) Being a White Nationalist wouldn’t win him a lot of votes in that district.

2) Because Progressives try their hardest not to hold the actions of a few in a particular race, nationality, etc…against those races and nationalities as a whole. Just because the Black Caucus wants to stay, The Black Caucus, does not mean they think White people are inferior or unworthy.

The double standards can be a bit tiresome and irritating at times, but over time these double standards will slowly erode so that a race-neutral position is the norm.
Sean Braisted | Homepage | 01.23.07 – 11:00 am | #

“tiresome and irritating”

I believe that Dr. King himself first said that.

Patriotic Terrorists

January 23rd, 2007 at 8:35 am by Cranky
The real definition of a patriotic terrorist: anyone who will happily stand against the President, while tolerating an enemy who stands against everything the left has claimed they are for – basic human rights, voting rights, gay rights, women`s rights. The patriotic terrorist can tolerate summary executions, genocide and suicide bombers because those actions are also undermining the patriotic terrorist’s more intimate opposition, the right.

From the Daily Gut.

Bill Richardson Is Hispanic

January 21st, 2007 at 5:38 pm by Smantix

Like the identity of Wen Ho Lee, somehow it was leaked to the media that New Mexico Governor Bill Richardson is wanting to be the El General Gordo Lead 1st Shift Supervisor of Once and Future AztlanTaco Bell Norte. Richardson, Clinton’s former Energy Secretary, is highly regarded by loyal Democrats for his diplomatic skills after attempting to bribe the NorKs away from the nuclear precipice by giving them two nuclear reactors in exchange for promising to be good, little Kim Jong-Ils. The fruit of his success was bore in 2003 when North Korea withdrew from the farcical Non-Proliferation Treaty and proclaimed with a straight face that:

“Our nuclear activities at this stage will be confined only to peaceful purposes such as the production of electricity.”

Thank Buddy Christ that we had the right man in the right place at the right time on that one to keep “the dialogue” working.

Pfew.

Governor Richardson is also, by the way, as hispanic as John Kerry is a Vietnam vet.

Bill Richardson is not non-hispanic
Former Energy Secretary Bill Richardson who, by the way, is hispanic.

Governor Richardson has also managed to obtained the vaunted Clinton Press Pass ™ which insulates him from having to explain remarks like these: (link requires more registration than the rally it covers)

Before a sea of picketing immigrants, Gov. Bill Richardson took the stage Thursday at De Vargas Park in Santa Fe. The occasion was an Immigrant Workers Freedom Ride Rally, and Richardson wasted no time showing his support for the hundreds of immigrant workers before him.
Viva la raza! Vivan los inmigrantes! Bienvenidos inmigrantes!” he shouted, acknowledging their quest for equality and human rights for the nation’s immigrant work force. “Thank you for coming to Santa Fe. Know that New Mexico is your home. We will protect you. You have rights here.”

Viva la raza, indeed. Bill’s got a klan-tastic gift for oration.

I see his blog pita is rolled tightly with such luminary centrists as FireDogLake, DailyKos, Democratic Underground, handsome constitutional law scholar/hot-shot Golden Globe recipient Gregg Glenfeld, and MoveOn.org. Although you were born in Pasadena and only lived outside of the country because your father was a rich, “non-hispanic”, Bostonian international banker for Citibank, I’ve been assured your skin was, at one time, much darker than mine. And though you were reared in upscale Massachusetts prep schools and Ivy League colleges, that you practically sweat tequila.

Not as hispanic as Bill Richardson
Tequiza: Not as hispanic as Bill Richardson.

Welcome to America, Bill. To us, you are so much more than the Tequiza of Hispanic Presidential Candidates. May your skin color be your armor and your lapsed Catholicism be your sword on the way to out-minoritying Barack Obama for the VP Slot winning the Presidency on your merits.

The Criminal’s Justice System

January 20th, 2007 at 12:42 pm by Smantix

I know it’s early for predictions for Pimp of The Year but once in a great while you find a candidate so worthy as to make an exception.

Killer Pimp Of The Year

Pimp Of The Year - 21 year old Nathaniel Abraham now free to dress like Iceberg Slim.

Nathaniel Abraham was already elbow deep into his Li’l Bastard Toolbox when he killed Ronnie Greene in 1997. At age 11, he had already been a suspect in at least twenty-two different crimes ranging from kid stuff like burglary all the way to grown-up stuff like assaulting people with metal pipes. As one of the youngest convicted murderers in US history, Abraham was a cause célèbre for activists willing to highlight “how the system failed” poor Nathaniel. Not Nathaniel failing Nathaniel. Not Nathaniel’s mother failing Nathaniel. And especially not how the system was getting ready to fail the now deceased Ronnie Greene.

But by now you know the old trope – there wasn’t enough Midnight Basketball for Poor Nathaniel. And when there isn’t enough Midnight Basketball then people die.

Fast forward a scant 8 years and Abraham is back on the street. Easy Street that is:

PONTIAC — Yesterday, Nathaniel Abraham was a convicted murderer. Today he greets the morning a free man celebrating his 21st birthday — with a furnished Bay City apartment paid for by Michigan taxpayers.

Abraham, who was 11 when he shot and killed 18-year-old Ronnie Greene in Pontiac, plans to re-enroll in classes at Delta College, where the state also will foot the tuition bill for the next four years.

The Kiss of White Guilt

The Kiss of White GuiltBailiffs had to restrain Abraham’s court appointed guardian from pulling a Pamela Rogers on him.

Not to disparage all of the fine people working (and paying) on their undergrads at Delta but getting through admissions must have been murder. From Delta’s homepage they offer a glimpse into their public mission:

“We firmly believe that we offer something for everyone, no matter where you’re at in your life.”

I will take that to include your own personal parole officer while pursuing your Bachelor’s in Pimpology with double minors in Court Reporting and Gun Repair. It’s always important to remember that the Freshman 10 is what gets you, Nate Dog, so keep your plate right when getting your taxpayer subsidized eat on.

Abraham, an aspiring rapper, thanked the judge for having faith in him despite nay-sayers who said he would never succeed in life.
[...]
“I’m going to make the best of it.”

Greene’s family, however, remained unconvinced.

Nichole Edwards, Ronnie Greene’s sister, said whatever progress Abraham has made won’t bring her brother back.

“All we have is a cemetery plot to go to,”
she said.

She does not feel Abraham is remorseful or has truly been rehabilitated.

“One of my biggest fears is that he will get out and cause someone else grief,” she said.

That means you fellow Delta undergrads. Other members of Nate’s family hilariously and unintentionally contradict his affirmation to “make the best of it” though:

Michelle Peoples-Dudley, Abraham’s older sister, talked to her brother last week and asked him what he planned to do on his birthday.

“He told me ‘I’m not going to do anything. I’m free. I’m just going to relax. I don’t have to worry about anyone saying ‘It’s time to wake up’ on my birthday. I get to do what I want and I’m just going to relax.’ ”

OE

Let’s all pour our collective 40′s on the the curb for Ronnie Greene who has been maxin’ and relaxin’ in a Michigan cemetery for the past ten years while Nathaniel Abraham has miraculously parlayed shooting him in the head to a free apartment and a four year scholarship to college.

Nathaniel Abraham – you are my selection for 2007′s Pimp of The Year.

“PIMP HAND STRONG” UPDATE: Annika was kind enough to turn out the Flyguy youtube-ry. Pat your little feet on the concrete and get to steppin’.

How My I-Pod Murdered That Squirrel

January 19th, 2007 at 9:12 am by Preston Taylor Holmes

I was driving to work this morning, minding my own business, listening to my new I-pod. Last night I imported “Naked” by the Talking Heads and the particular track I was listening to this morning was (Nothing But) Flowers. For those of you unfamiliar with the song, it’s an environmentalist’s wet dream. A sample of the lyrics:

There was a factory
Now there are mountains and rivers
you got it, you got it

We caught a rattlesnake
Now we got something for dinner
you got it, you got it

Once there were parking lots
Now it’s a peaceful oasis
you got it, you got it

This was a Pizza Hut
Now it’s all covered with daisies
you got it, you got it

Sure it’s a bedwetting leftist anthem (particularly if you include the pro-socialist, anti-American propaganda throughout the video), but it’s a brilliant song and it has Johnny Marr’s guitar work all over it.

As I was following a light-blue SUV (an evil SUV) down one of Bearden’s many back roads, a squirrel, full with the vim and vigor of life, darted directly in front of the SUV and was summarily flattened by both of the vehicle’s driver’s-side tires.

It was at that point I realized that the squirrel was simply a victim of man’s destruction of the earth by putting a road where the squirrel – who probably had a good Christian name like Steve or Eddie – would have frolicked uninterrupted by a metallic four-wheeled death merchant. If Knoxville developers had not put a neighborhood in this particular location, and destroyed the surrounding environment with roads, houses and all manner of electrical and utility infrastructure, that squirrel (we’ll call him Eddie) would still be alive today.

Perhaps, had I not been listening to a song that laments just such environmental destruction, Gaia wouldn’t have felt compelled to sacrifice Eddie the squirrel as a visual manifestation of the song’s overall theme. Eddie deserved better than that.

But then again, that’s one less squirrel, and a squirrel is just an overgrown rat, so no big loss.

Speaking of the video, what would this post be without some youtubing?

UPDATE:

Looks like I’m not the only one enjoying the demise of a squirrel today.

Study: Liberals Insecure About People Who Think Differently

January 18th, 2007 at 6:46 pm by Cranky

The 732nd report by liberals has come out and conclusively proves for the 732nd time that Convervatives are deficient.

Jost, along with his co-authors Jack Glaser, Arie Kruglanski, and Frank Sulloway (“the authors”), concluded that there is “a clear tendency for conservatives to score higher on measures of dogmatism, intolerance of ambiguity, needs for order, structure, and closure and to be lower in openness to experience and integrative complexity than [are] moderates and liberals” (Jost, 2006, p. 662). In other words, conservatives are pigheaded, closed minded, anal retentive, and less intelligent than everyone else. The authors also believe that conservative ideology is driven by “the psychological management of uncertainty and fear” (p. 369).

Equally baffling is why conservatives shun lattes and exhibit signs of nausea at the smell of Patchouli oil.

Why do you think there is an almost, oh I don’t know, pathological need for liberals to affirm the rightness of their beliefs by commissioning this endless stream of studies?

Sirloin Tip, The Jawa Report

The BATF is Coming For My Keyboard!

January 18th, 2007 at 1:51 pm by Preston Taylor Holmes

(via Uncle over at Silence’s place)

McCain (Swamp) Fever is catching on as the new-and-unimproved Senate wants to register bloggers with more than 500 readers in the interest of further curtailing free speech.

S.1 has been introduced in the Senate as “lobbying reform” — which in this case means “First Amendment infringements.” An amendment has been attached, which requires registration of bloggers with more than 500 readers, and who comment on policy issues. Violation would be a criminal offense.

I looked it up on the Library of Congress webpage (which is essentially unlinkable) and have attached section 220 in extended remarks, below. As the bill is reported, it appears to cover any “paid” grassroots lobbying, that reaches more than 500 people. But a blogger who receives contributions might be classed as a “paid” grassroots type. It looks like Congress wants to keep an eye on annoying people like Porkbusters. It may be significant that S.1 was introduced by Harry Reid, one of the Kings of Pork.

David Hardy has the whole scoop.

More at PR Newswire.

Oh, and for the record, McCain, Reid and the rest of you in congress can lick my love pump until the cows come home. Freedom-snatching jackasses.

UPDATE:

Okay, the Feds aren’t coming for my keyboard…YET. It’s just a matter of time, though. The above lick-my-love-pump comment still stands.

Glossary for the Brave New World

January 18th, 2007 at 11:00 am by Cranky

Here is a handy set of terms which will help you understand the current political scene:

Obamad – To find oneself in a near-ecstatic state by the discovery of the perfect liberal icon.

Sheehanigans – The tendency of one to spout incoherent babble and socialistic platitudes as a mechanism for dealing with grief. (see also Codepinkeye)

Peloosened – The unwillingness to deliver on committments after promising them. Alternate definition: the creation of excess flappy skin caused by a rapid bulging of the eyes.

Chapaquitted – A state of near invunerablity. The ability to say or do incredibly stupid things without being called into account. Often associated with being born into royalty.

ALotted – A state of being committed to one’s personal power base to the deteriment of the entire team.

Tortalitarianism – Creating a just and better America with opportunities for all by suing corporations. A cause championed by Sen. John Edwards.

UPDATE: Thanks to the boss, here are some additions – which I thought of.

Sharptonion: The ability to see racial discrimination in everything, including a simple glass of water.

Murthanasia: Incorruptability and intellectual authority because of prior military service

Jeffersoned: When the FBI finds money in your freezer, ie, “Damn, da man come bustin’ up in my crib an I was all Jeffersoned an shit”.

McKinneyed: Getting out of almost anything by sayin’ “Don’t you know who I am?”, or knowing that I don’t have to follow the rules because I am an oppressed black woman.

I’m pretty good, if I may say so myself.

UPDATE II: More

Hanntagonize: The act of inviting a person into a three to five minute dialogue but berating that person non-stop instead.

Kossified: The petrified state of a liberal’s brain after 3 days of reading the Daily Kock.

Rangletarian: Anyone against the “Lynching” of a murderous POS dictator.

Reidtardation: Stomping on legislation that your own party put forward to reduce corruption.

UPDATE III: Even More

Krugmania: when one makes the false assumption that an expert in one field is an expert in all fields. Also, the belief that your side is always right, even when they disagree with you, in which case you ignore them. Also, the belief that the other side is always wrong, even when they agree with you, in which case you also ignore them.

Atriosity/atriosious/atriosities: A liberal or liberalism that is well-known, yet void of any substance.

Is 24 a “Neocon Sex Fantasy”

January 17th, 2007 at 8:15 pm by Cranky

Well maybe if you ask Newsweek

I don’t think so. But then again, this is making me feel a little tingly.

jack_vampire2.gif

Is that wrong?

UPDATE (Preston):

Well, at least it’s not a John Edwards sex fantasy.

This Kind of “Fairness” Only Excites McCainiacs

January 17th, 2007 at 3:43 pm by Preston Taylor Holmes

Goldstein is back and better than ever with his analysis of the Dim-O-Cracks’ attempted revival of the fairness doctrine. When your ideas can’t compete in the free market, call Daddy Government to do it for you.

Or maybe I’m just being cynical. After all, maybe it’s just the slackjawed proles who, in between sucks on the duelling straws of their beer helmets, lap up the Neo-Con lies. And so what Hinchey is pushing for is what every good progressive pushes for: the chance to save us from ourselves by annointing themselves our official intellectual protectorate. You know, just so long as when we thank them we don’t try to shake their hands.

They hate it when we get all that Jesus stuff on them.

RTWT.

Two Reasons to Read The Daily Gut

January 16th, 2007 at 1:23 pm by Cranky

It speaks to me.

On the Golden Globes:

-I don’t understand why actors and actresses get so emotional over this crap. Don’t they despise critics in general? So why then, do they gush like incontinent grandmothers when “foreign critics” give them a shiny award? It’s like fighting a war and getting a medal from the enemy. A really gay enemy.

Also, 30% more Jim Treacher.

24 Contortions

January 15th, 2007 at 12:29 pm by Cranky

Just how many “not all Muslims are bad” qualifiers do we knuckledraggers have to be exposed to before 24 can make Islamic terrorists the bad guys?

OK, we get it. Honest.

If I knew that the 24 team would pay homage to CAIR and attack the tradeoff between freedom for security with all the subtlety of “V for Vendetta”, I would have told them to just forget it and make Eastern Europeans the bad guys again. They’re white enough and they have all that trans-Caspian oil stuff going on to keep the story safe for generations to come.

Debbie Schlussel goes maxiumum Bauer on the series and I don’t blame her. Watch her go to town on this quote:

The chief proponent of that controversial [internment camps] tactic is Thomas Lennox (Peter MacNicol, “Ally McBeal”), a conservative [Just like FDR! -G] senior adviser who one character in the show says “treats the Constitution like a list of suggestions.”

So in addition to delivering a gangbusters contemporary thriller, executive producer Gordon aims to focus even more this season on such hot-button, post-9/11 topical issues as torture, ethnic profiling and the erosion of civil rights.

Right. So the numero-uno mission of the producer is not to entertain, but to deliver important social messages. Shall we start the meter until the first strategically-placed gay CTU agent shows up? I’m sure we can milk quite a bit of social commentary out of the harsh “don’t ask, don’t tell” policy.

But you know what really pissed me off?

When the good-guy former terrorist is tailing the bad guy terrorist on foot, the bad guy gets into a car and – get this – the good-guy former terrorist’s car is parked right there! On the street no less! In Los Angeles!!

Talk about stretching credibility. I don’t think I’ll be able to follow the rest of the season with any credibility. I’m serious about this.

UPDATE:
Our friends at the Swap Blog and probably Preston hisself don’t think that 24 has jumped the laser beam on the head shark yet.

That’s cool. Hey, I report and you decide. That’s fair and … um … oh I don’t know, even? Sure, let’s go with that.

Proletarian Pirate of the Caribbean

January 14th, 2007 at 12:32 pm by Smantix

Nothing keeps the blood flowing through The People’s Heart (or their streets) like an old school property confiscation. Naturally, when China’s The People’s Daily heard about the unconstitutionally elected President Thug in Venezuela kicking all foreign owned companies in the financial groin – they couldn’t help but cheer:

“If someone wants to stay on as our partner, then the door is open. But if he does not want to stay on as a minority partner, then hand the oil field and goodbye,” Chavez said.

Pirate of the Caribbean

Red is the New BlackThanks to Hugo Chavez for bringing back Teh Red Shirt. Venezuela is now the world’s leading importer of All-Temperature Cheer and Woolite. And 2nd only to France for berets for parrots.

The left-wing president, who came into power since 1999, has vowed to deepen socialism as a way to “realize the dreams of thousands for a better life.”

Given that Venezuela has over 20 million people, I’d say that sounds about right.

Itar-Tass explains Chavez’s theft of foreign investment as part of a gang initiation rite as the Commie Kleptocracy rolls worldwide. G’s up! Hoes dizzown:

Turning to international relations, the Venezuelan president stressed that his country would, above all, cooperate with foreign state-owned rather than private companies. Chavez said that the Venezuelan side “is now successfully developing relations with state-owned companies in China, Russia, Brazil, Iran, Argentina, Belarus and other countries”.

South Side - yo
Artist rendering of alleged “cooperating” of state-owned energy cabal.

MTV, The Early Years

January 14th, 2007 at 9:02 am by Cranky

OK kids, due to popular demand (hi Sharon and Billy!), let’s discuss the extremely early videos where the production was still primitive. We’ll see where it goes from there…

Exhibit A: Red Hot Chili Peppers, True Men Don’t Kill Coyotes

Exhibit B: Devo, Are We Not Men?

UPDATE (Preston):

This discussion would not be complete without including some early-MTV-era Billy Squier. “Lonely is the Night” was one of the first songs I learned on the guitar – and with a video like this, it’s no wonder I spent so many 7th-grade hours in my room working on the intro.

Bloodbath

January 13th, 2007 at 10:21 pm by Preston Taylor Holmes

You know, I don’t remember losing a tooth being so bloody when I was a kid. Though I do remember that cool feeling of sticking my tongue underneath the tooth and wiggling it around.

Congrats on losing that first tooth, Preston Jr. You’re turning into a big kid, you.

professional resume writing services