Pelosi’s Children
January 9th, 2007 at 7:29 am by CrankySpeaker of the House Nancy Pelosi has delivered on her promise to put the gavel in the hands of the children. And let’s be frank; that’s a good thing. The House Democrats, led by Speaker Pelosi will sweep out special interests and make America the kid-friendly place the Founders envisioned.
Let’s meet some of Nancy’s Kids:
1. Tabitha. This little sweetheart wants to keep abortion safe and legal. Especially since her snot-nosed baby brother Kyle was born. In fact, Nancy will see to it that abortion will be permitted up to Kyle’s first birthday.
2. Jimmy. Nancy’s very own nephew Jimmy will no longer have to worry about having enough allowance money to buy Metal Gear for the PS3. You see, his dad sold a primo piece of Presidio real estate to Nancy’s cousin’s non-profit organization at a loss. Jimmy was able to turn his $3.89 investment into a cool $150,000.00 when the non-profit developed the property and flipped it.
3. Vincent. Vinnie used to like to beat up kids at St. Rocco’s of the Blessed Beatdown Academy in Pacific Heights. That was until mom’s country club mixed doubles partner, Ms. Pelosi taught him a better way. Now Vinnie has organized the weaker children into a collective bargaining arrangement. No one, not even Vinnie bullies them and Vinnie collects $25.00 per week per member for the protection.
4. Constance. Although she lives in Mill Valley, Marin County, Constance cares about poor people just like great aunt Nancy. Sometimes, when her family goes into the city, she can see them from the rear window of the Range Rover. Thanks to Nana, Connie will get to attend a very important benefit concert with Angelina Jolie and Bono and help raise awareness that American middle class people are not paying enough to end world hunger.
January 9th, 2007 at 9:49 am
Heh! I’m so glad the gubmint is finally in capable hands.
January 9th, 2007 at 11:21 am
You had me fooled, Cranky. I thought those were pics of Cindy Sheehan, John Murtha, Henry Waxman and Barbara Lee…
January 9th, 2007 at 2:11 pm
It’s all about the children,,,,,,,,,,,,, yeah right.
January 9th, 2007 at 2:20 pm
Democrats discuss raising taxes on rich…
WASHINGTON | Democrats are not ruling out raising taxes for the wealthiest people to help pay for ta…
January 9th, 2007 at 6:34 pm
Vinnie? WTF?
Couldn’t ya have used Rocco or something? Paulie is popular too!
January 9th, 2007 at 7:55 pm
C’mon Vinnie, you’re not Italian… your Latin. It’s different. Trust me.
January 9th, 2007 at 11:22 pm
looks like nancy’s about to administer a tolchok to the head of one of them kids.
January 10th, 2007 at 1:43 pm
Look, I grew up with wiseguys, and that little snotnose is no ways a “Vinnie.” Calling him such is an affront to my favorite TV show. At best–best!, because I do not know her family’s actual score on the Wop Meter–HE’S A “VINCENZO.”
January 10th, 2007 at 3:54 pm
Leather, I defer to your Staten Island street smarts.
January 10th, 2007 at 8:04 pm
Is there anything like the pitter-patter of tiny, innocent feet that best says “Nana’s gonna smack you in the fucking head if you don’t shut up and sit down, ya little bastards!!”
January 11th, 2007 at 12:09 am
[...] I’m a day late and a Gucci short but you must see Sixmeatbuffet’s profile of Nancy Pelosi’s children. [...]
January 12th, 2007 at 2:28 pm
You failed to identify the shifty little fellow directly behind Mrs. Pelosi.
Why is he ducking from sight? Is he an undocumented grandchild? Is he pickpocketing her botox syringes to sell on the elementary black market to prematurely sagging school children? Does he just not like croquet? Is he in fact the monster that has been living under my stairs for the past ten years?
Your readers deserve answers, sir.
January 12th, 2007 at 4:54 pm
Thanks for pointing that out Buckley. We’ve just learned that he was exempted from the smoking ban in the House.
No one knows why a little loophole was created for one “minor between 10 and 15 from the San Francisco congressional district.”