For all of the bad press spilling out of the top of the news bra this week, you would think that boobies never had a better advocate than Elizabeth Edwards. And I don’t know about you, but I’m not going to sit here and let Nature’s meatballs keep being maligned this way.

I am pushing myself away from the Bad Breast Buffet. I have had enough.

The UK’s Wellcome Trust has funded a survey that asserts that free range racks might just save us all from the AIDS. The “B” in BBC stands for Buxom:

Breastfeeding alone cuts HIV risk

Breastfeeding is the ‘best option’ for mothers in developing countries

Exclusively breastfeeding until a baby is six-months old can significantly reduce the risk of mother-to-child HIV transmission, an African study says.

It’s time we stop conserving our nation’s most valuable resource. It’s time to release the strategic reserves. Our lives depend on this, ladies. Big Pharma keeps trying to sell us on the hype but you’ve got the cure in your Cross-Your-Heart.

Let’s stop AIDS together and nip this thing in the bud.

UDDERLY UPDATED: That would be funded by the UK Wellcome Trust and not the “eat beet roots to fight AIDS” mismanagers of the third world that Bone-O thinks we should send billions in foreign aid. The bad news? The UK Wellcome Trust is Margaret Sanger related so tit tang may be a trojan for eugenically wiping out the weed races.

For any readers concerned that they may be exposed to tainted titty, please forward the breasts in question for a free visual inspection to smantix(-no-)@(-spam/flapjacks-)yahoo.com.

UPDATE (Cranky):
Michele, this may or may not help. But hey, at Six Meat Buffet we try to please you, our dear customers™.

Imagine that you’re flying to Australia for a fabulous vacation. All is going well until the number three engine catches fire. The pilot in a concerned but steady voice informs you that the plane is losing altitude and that you should prepare for a water landing in the Pacific Ocean.

Fortunately for you, you were actually listening to the stewardess’ pre-flight safety instructions. The plane descends. There is turbulence and the sounds of panic from your fellow passengers. Suddenly there is a horrible noise as the plane hits the water and rebounds like a giant skipping stone. You don’t remember much beyond that – only screams of panic and gut-wrenching sounds of metal and plastic breaking.

When you regain consciousness, you are smartly attached to your floatation device and in eyeshot of an island. Tragically, no one else listened to the stewardess so you appear to be the only survivor. One idiot almost made it, but he strapped himself to the Black Box thinking it was indestructible. It is, but it also weighs 700lbs.

Where was I. Oh yeah. When you finally make it to the shore of the beach and take a personal inventory – ten toes, two arms, etc. – you conclude that you are indeed alive and well.

You are now free practice the only island discipline you prepared for throughout high school and college. You think about the one album you would have with you if you were marooned on a desert island which miraculously has a record player.

So, what is the album?

For me, it’s easy. Quadrophenia. It’s The Who at their musical high point and dang near their creative zenith. From age 16 though 41, there has always been something in those four records sides to enjoy. And don’t even get me started about the life milestones that are marked with the songs. Best songs; The Real Me, The Punk and the Godfather, I’m One and Dr. Jimmy.

(h/t to Billy for the suggestion)

Oops!

I just love it when leftist cant is turned inwards on one of their own.

From the Jawa Report, which asks why isn’t Katie Couric and company all over it?

Beth at My Vast Right Wing Conspiracy is hosting the GOP candidate straw poll stuff.

You should participate if only to offset Fred Thompson’s huge lead. From what I know about Thompson, he’s very tough on crime and really likes to go by the book, even though that sometimes pisses off Sam Watterson.

I want Giuliani because he has proven to be a fiscal conservative and would most likely have strong appeal to left-leaning moderates.

I could be wrong, however. I just type stuff up from my basement.

This clip from The View may be old. But with Rosie shooting off about “Gulf of Tonkin” and Truther crap, it is very refreshing to see Dennis Miller standing in as a proxy for us and (respectfully) slaying her sacred cows.

Perhaps the most important video you will see between now and ten minutes from now.

(Sirloin tip, My hero, Jonah Goldberg @ The Corner)

Check out this behemoth from Australia.

I’m Juggernaut, Beayatch

Tragically, the Aussies are engaging in some Anti-South American bigotry. (Don’t read the whole article, trust me).

(Sirloin tip to Linda Sog)

When you reflexively choose “peace” over force or the threat of force you get this:

Since Crittenden puts it better than I could, I’ll just have you follow the links. What else can I add except that Carter still sucks?

No kidding. Seriously. Read on:

I’m hoping the SeeDub family didn’t need to use the restroom. When they say the tp is made from “75% post-consumer waste”, I pray that it wasn’t tp in its past life.

Have I wronged you in the past? Made you feel bad? Pissed all over your little parade?
(more…)

I am referring to Evan Sayet, a “9/13 Republican”, former New York liberal and Hollywood writer.*

Like the Global Warming documentary, this is a long video (45 min.) which is well worth your time. I’ll echo a comment by Ace on this – go five minutes with it and you’ll want to see the whole thing.

* In short, everything I want to be when I grow up.

Why must we harangue Iran so? We already know they’re a little high strung and suffer from a nuclear bout of penis envy yet still we poke and prod expecting them to just sit there and take it in their Members Only jackets.

Kidnapped British soldiers had absolutely no business, none, for their ill-advised intentional invasion of the Greater Iranian Islamic Republic. The crooks and liars over at the appropriately named Crooks & Liars told me so!

(more…)

The London Times finds an unexpected valentine in it’s commentary pages today as the current Tsar of Russia breaks out the candy and flowers in a selectively inaccurate portrayal of the history between Europe and the Evil Empire. Prompting two questions. Why now? And what’s in this for you?

Russia is Europe’s natural ally

(ed. note – Ignore that whole Nazi-Soviet Non-Aggression Pact thingy)

Vladimir Putin
[...]
A stable, prosperous and united Europe is in our interests (As long as that’s *in your interests*). European integration is an integral part of the emerging multipolar world order (Wonder who he’s referring to there). That the EU is becoming an increasingly authoritative and influential centre of world politics, considerably contributing to regional and global security, is important (your global penis is large in size).
(more…)

For those of you gnashing your teeth about the dust-up between some smelly Iranian seamen and the Brits, don’t worry. We’ve got a secret weapon who has dealt with the Iranians before. He knows what he’s doing.

Oh, there’s more. Enjoy.

Are Democrats the only ones who can hear it? Apparently so.

Heading into the weekend’s Elite Eight round, here are your standings…

I feel like a fool for picking Memphis to win the whole thing, though, cuz they ain’t gonna.

LGF has finally obtained video from the “support the troops” rally held in Oregon during the nationwide ANSWER rallies last week.

Maybe a brother with some DSL can hook an analog, cyberluddite like Smantix up on the song they’re chanting.

All I know is that:

When you say that “liberals” do not care about the well being of our nation’s military–that they do not support the troops–it is you who is showing them hate. And for that you should be ashamed.

So very, very ashamed.

UPDATE: Yea, I would change my little “nugget of whatever” too after that.

25% Tip to S & L who served up this charming bowl of ghoulash from The People’s Portland Tribune:

This splinter group of protesters showed its support for “peace” by burning a U.S. soldier in effigy. It exhibited its supposedly pacifist nature by knocking a police officer off his bike — an action that brought out the police riot squad.

Perhaps the most disturbing scene of the afternoon, however, involved the man who pulled down his pants in front of women and children and defecated on a burning U.S. flag. This disgusting act actually elicited cheers from some members of the crowd, but we hope that the emotion it produces in the community is one of revulsion.
[...]
a few do create a public perception that at least some advocates for peace are anti-American, anti-police and far out of step with mainstream values.

The anti-war demonstrators who behaved responsibly this past weekend have an obligation to denounce — and distance themselves from — those protesters who purposefully offend others and consequently destroy the intended message of peace.

*crickets chirp*

*Video

Tipoff 9:55 pm ET – Vols vs. Buckeyes.

And the contest standings as of the Sweet Sixteen…

It’s on, Deliverance. It’s on.

*Thanks to A-Ron for forwarding the photoshop.

Running hard, but losing ground while chasing the political ambulances of Hitlery and Osama Hussein, John Edwards has decided to play the “C” card. C for sympathy.

It is not clear how many points Edwards will now rise in the polls, but the Senator is hopeful that this turn for the worse will ignite his third-place-and-falling candidacy.

UPDATE: I’m not the only one calling it like it is.

UNINTENDED HILARITY UPDATE: As the silky pony show was initially leaked to the news media, the scuttlebutt was that Prince Edwards was going to drop out of the race. Ryan Sager (via Insty) notes the difference in before & after coverage from Emotional Andy:

Heh, Indeed! Which is it, sweetcakes? Family hero or The Greatest American Hero? I guess he’s just the Greatest American Situational Hero.

UPDATE THE THIRD: Right Wing Duck has a very insensitive poll. Horribly insensitive.

Courtesy of Publius Pundit – some encouraging news out of Muslim Africa

RTWT

More good stuff from David Lunde who appears to be an extremely rare find – a graphic designer with conservative leanings and (whispers) might even be hetero.

¹⁸ … as was the custom of the time, Pilate brought the bill before the people. “Which of these two bills would you like passed into law? Shall I pass the law that curtails the power of the Food and Drug administration to regulate the color of cheddar cheese or shall I pass the law which compels you to turn your headlights on when you operate your windshield wipers?”

¹⁹ Now in the crowds were activists and lobbyists for the dairy industry and they worked the crowds into a frenzy. Wanting to protect their jobs and to prevent others from making cheddar cheese, they started to chant, “headlights, headlights!” The mob joined in.

²⁰ Pilate said to the gathered masses, “This cheese coloring law is perhaps the most useless one on the books. You would eat food dye at the whims of the government?”

²¹ The crowds only chanted louder. “By passing the headlight law,” Pilate continued, “you invite more government regulation into your lives and the consequence of being punished for non-compliance.”

²² “We have no parent but the Nanny State! Let the laws be upon our heads and our children’s heads!”

²³ Then Pilate had a bowl of water brought before him. Washing his hands in their presence he told them, “Very well. Have this law which requires you to have your headlights on when you run your windshield wipers. This law and many after it will be upon your heads. I am hereby resigning my position and accepting a lucrative position in lobbying.”

Other verses here and here.

This morning was my daughter’s class presentation day. Parents were invited so I took the morning off to attend.

The Princess did a great presentation on bones. What she said wasn’t as nearly as impressive as how she said it. Although usually softspoken, she was clear and loud enough to hear from the back. With increasing frequency, I am very proud of her.

Then there was the second presentation…

The young lady was a gifted speaker. Her topic, on the other hand, was a real joke.

GLOBAL WARMING

She made such assertions that when the Arctic ice melts, animals will have to swim further to get rest and that not all scientists agree on Global Warming.

Among the many scientific disagreements regarding Global Warming’s effects, the most shocking was that some scientists think that the world will explode (no, I’m not making this up).

In summary, this report was so full of fearmongering and misinformation that I was sure it was the highlight reel from Gore’s new movie. The only substantial difference between her presentation and Leonardo DiCaprio’s goings on at the Oscars was the fact that the girl was only ten years old.

The silver lining was that at the conclusion, the young lady was required to tell the audience what she learned from the project.

She replied that she enjoyed learning how to do a multimedia presentation.

UPDATE: Annika has found the real cause of Global Warming. The correllation is there, therefore the causal relationship is certain.

From the Fremont, California Argus:

It gets better. A four members of the Minutemen are there but as residents of Fremont. Quoth one:

Is there a more irony-challenged group than the “liberal activist”?