The Secular Faith – The Book of Algore
March 7th, 2007 at 3:08 pm by Cranky19 … now therefore, gather all the four hundred and fifty climatologists, and the four hundred prophets of Algore. We shall meet upon the mountain Thursday after next.
20 And Algore sent a message to all the people, and said, “How long will you falter between two opinions?
21 Yea, do you not realize that there is but One True reality and the other a lie?”
22Then Algore said to the people, “I alone am left a prophet of the Climate; yet you must see that the Great Warmening is nigh.
23 Therefore let us have a challenge; On the Thursday after next, you masses run your SUVs, your Suburbans and your Hummers for many hours.
24After you have run your SUVs, your Suburbans and your Hummers for many hours, the Climate shall withhold the rain and your crops shall be smitten.”
25So the prophets of Algore and the climatologists carried his message to the villages and the furthest parts of the countryside.
26On the Thursday after next, Algore arose ascended the mountain. “Where are my four hundred and fifty climatologists and four hundred prophets? Indeed, where is everybody?” Algore asked of the seventeen men assembled on the mountain.
27“Look around you Algore,” they answered, “it appears as though the winds of El Nino have risen up and brought great precipitation upon us. Who in their right mind would come out in this weather?”
28“But do not despair, Algore,”the great drought you foretold most definitely caused this downpour and your name shall be great throughout the land.”
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March 7th, 2007 at 3:24 pm
“Algorical Akbar”
March 7th, 2007 at 4:40 pm
heh – the great warmening. that warmened my hart.
March 7th, 2007 at 8:09 pm
And then I laid down my size 13 carbon footprint upon The Goracle’s head.
March 7th, 2007 at 8:30 pm
And verily, the porcine soothsayer spoketh, “Do as I say, not as I do.”
March 8th, 2007 at 7:55 am
And then I laid down my size 13 carbon footprint upon The Goracle’s head.
… and there was much rejoicing.
March 8th, 2007 at 11:04 am
“And then I laid down my size 13 carbon footprint upon The Goracle’s head.
… and there was much rejoicing.”
But from The Apple and from LaLa Land was much wailing and gnashing of teeth. And lo, a new beast arose, and the world was fooled despite its hypocrisy.
March 9th, 2007 at 2:10 am
And from the loins of the beast came a spawn of the Goracle.
And many wearing foil hats rejoiced…