¹⁹ … now therefore, gather all the four hundred and fifty climatologists, and the four hundred prophets of Algore. We shall meet upon the mountain Thursday after next.

²⁰ And Algore sent a message to all the people, and said, “How long will you falter between two opinions?

²¹ Yea, do you not realize that there is but One True reality and the other a lie?”

²²Then Algore said to the people, “I alone am left a prophet of the Climate; yet you must see that the Great Warmening is nigh.

²³ Therefore let us have a challenge; On the Thursday after next, you masses run your SUVs, your Suburbans and your Hummers for many hours.

²⁴After you have run your SUVs, your Suburbans and your Hummers for many hours, the Climate shall withhold the rain and your crops shall be smitten.”

²⁵So the prophets of Algore and the climatologists carried his message to the villages and the furthest parts of the countryside.

²⁶On the Thursday after next, Algore arose ascended the mountain. “Where are my four hundred and fifty climatologists and four hundred prophets? Indeed, where is everybody?” Algore asked of the seventeen men assembled on the mountain.

²⁷“Look around you Algore,” they answered, “it appears as though the winds of El Nino have risen up and brought great precipitation upon us. Who in their right mind would come out in this weather?”

²⁸“But do not despair, Algore,”the great drought you foretold most definitely caused this downpour and your name shall be great throughout the land.”

More sacred writings found here.

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