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The Secular Faith – The Passion

March 21st, 2007 at 7:36 am by Cranky

18 … as was the custom of the time, Pilate brought the bill before the people. “Which of these two bills would you like passed into law? Shall I pass the law that curtails the power of the Food and Drug administration to regulate the color of cheddar cheese or shall I pass the law which compels you to turn your headlights on when you operate your windshield wipers?”

19 Now in the crowds were activists and lobbyists for the dairy industry and they worked the crowds into a frenzy. Wanting to protect their jobs and to prevent others from making cheddar cheese, they started to chant, “headlights, headlights!” The mob joined in.

20 Pilate said to the gathered masses, “This cheese coloring law is perhaps the most useless one on the books. You would eat food dye at the whims of the government?”

21 The crowds only chanted louder. “By passing the headlight law,” Pilate continued, “you invite more government regulation into your lives and the consequence of being punished for non-compliance.”

22 “We have no parent but the Nanny State! Let the laws be upon our heads and our children’s heads!”

23 Then Pilate had a bowl of water brought before him. Washing his hands in their presence he told them, “Very well. Have this law which requires you to have your headlights on when you run your windshield wipers. This law and many after it will be upon your heads. I am hereby resigning my position and accepting a lucrative position in lobbying.”

Other verses here and here.


3 Responses to “The Secular Faith – The Passion”

  1. Naked Villainy » Blog Archive » Beer, Bourbon, BBQ & Bible. Says:

    [...] You need to go over and read from Cranky’s latest on Six Meat Buffet. Highlight: “…as was the custom of the time, Pilate brought the bill before the people. [...]

  2. Preston Taylor Holmes Says:

    Good stuff, Cranky. You get a raise.

  3. annika Says:

    freakin genius, dude

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