The Upbraid Smantix Invitational
March 25th, 2007 at 11:47 pm by SmantixHave I wronged you in the past? Made you feel bad? Pissed all over your little parade?
Damaged your self-esteem?
No, of course not. You’re too smart for that. You’re a fortress.
You pick yourself up, dust yourself off, and tell yourself that you’re so happy (and a good person!) and I’m so miserable or some such and go about your day.
Or maybe not. Maybe you were left an emotional cripple. Wandering from bar to bar, from broken relationship to broken relationship trying to take the pain away. Or, you walk around in your jammies all Sunday afternoon bitching at your spouse/cat because who wants to watch the Ugly Dog Show contest on Animal Planet?
Here’s your chance! One time. Limited offer. In fact, this thread may be taken down by tomorrow.
Got something on your mind? If history is any indication, I doubt it. But I’m asking anyway.
Anonymous comments will be accepted. Libel, not so much.
UPDATE: I am not a recovering alcoholic.
March 26th, 2007 at 12:01 am
“Have I wronged you in the past? Made you feel bad? Pissed all over your little parade?”
No, but you slept with my ex-wife, and now you have gonorrhea.
March 26th, 2007 at 12:05 am
Have you entered a 12 step program??????
March 26th, 2007 at 9:20 am
Do you know how many times I’ve had to yell at my kids to shut up so I could get through one of your damn sentences?
I’m trying to figure out whether coffee or booze helps. My English degree hasn’t.
March 26th, 2007 at 4:08 pm
No complaints. You’re the ginchiest. (Those under 50 may have to Google that.)
March 26th, 2007 at 5:49 pm
Okay, I pushed the envelope on purpose with that first one.
But seriously, about the worst thing you’ve done is hang out with Preston Taylor Holmes.
March 26th, 2007 at 7:57 pm
I was really hoping one of our
cowardlywallflower leftists would take me to task for sins real or imagined.Oh, well. I might have to leave this thread open in the event they get drunk one night and summon up the courage.
And honestly Vinnie, it was the herpes. Or as she affectionately referred to them as “Cupid’s Speed Bumps”.
March 27th, 2007 at 11:36 am
C’mon Smantix, you know the lefty drill…
Drive by and drop a few bombs from the DU talking points, scream indignation at your perpetual insensitivity, but back down when you use things like facts or common sense. Then disappear instead of continuing reasoned debate.
And we know you are not a “recovering” alcoholic…
March 27th, 2007 at 11:58 am
You posted an idea that occurred to me before I had a chance to. I can’t remember what it was, but I do recall that I was crushed.
You bastard.
March 27th, 2007 at 1:27 pm
Dan – Just do what everybody else does….steal it without attribution:
Some Knoxville hack columnist purloins my Worth1000 photoshop / Franklin Mint worthy coining of phrase and gets Instalanched while I’m left holding my beanbag. (finally fixed the link)
March 27th, 2007 at 5:04 pm
Unlawded!
March 27th, 2007 at 9:19 pm
It’s unabashed thievery, Smantix. I’ve talked to both my boys and they’re going to take care of this little problem.
March 27th, 2007 at 11:15 pm
I don’t know which boys those are but I hope they get Medieval Tennessee on his ass (~approximately 1940). It’s possible he may think he thought it up.
But when I thought it, I thought it was so clever for a Thompson candidacy that surely someone else had thought it up before me. So I googled it and found nothing.
8 months later, both Hotline and Just One Minute had posts named after it. And several others. I never saw some “MarketMavens” website that had something dated Nov-10-00 until just recently and it was in relation to some voter fraud BS.
But when I read that yesterday I was somewhat apoplectic. Oh, well. What’s a digitally-stained wretch to do?
March 29th, 2007 at 12:48 pm
Uhh…yeah, one time you accused me of deleting your comment when it was BLOGGER that ate it.
I hadn’t thought of that in a while, but since you asked…