Breast Kept Secret
March 30th, 2007 at 9:52 pm by SmantixFor all of the bad press spilling out of the top of the news bra this week, you would think that boobies never had a better advocate than Elizabeth Edwards. And I don’t know about you, but I’m not going to sit here and let Nature’s meatballs keep being maligned this way.
I am pushing myself away from the Bad Breast Buffet. I have had enough.
The UK’s Wellcome Trust has funded a survey that asserts that free range racks might just save us all from the AIDS. The “B” in BBC stands for Buxom:
Breastfeeding alone cuts HIV risk
Breastfeeding is the ‘best option’ for mothers in developing countries
Exclusively breastfeeding until a baby is six-months old can significantly reduce the risk of mother-to-child HIV transmission, an African study says.
It’s time we stop conserving our nation’s most valuable resource. It’s time to release the strategic reserves. Our lives depend on this, ladies. Big Pharma keeps trying to sell us on the hype but you’ve got the cure in your Cross-Your-Heart.
Let’s stop AIDS together and nip this thing in the bud.
UDDERLY UPDATED: That would be funded by the UK Wellcome Trust and not the “eat beet roots to fight AIDS” mismanagers of the third world that Bone-O thinks we should send billions in foreign aid. The bad news? The UK Wellcome Trust is Margaret Sanger related so tit tang may be a trojan for eugenically wiping out the weed races.
For any readers concerned that they may be exposed to tainted titty, please forward the breasts in question for a free visual inspection to smantix(-no-)@(-spam/flapjacks-)yahoo.com.
UPDATE (Cranky):
Michele, this may or may not help. But hey, at Six Meat Buffet we try to please you, our dear customers™.
March 30th, 2007 at 11:13 pm
Ooops. This post made things happen down there. Must go clean up.
March 31st, 2007 at 1:12 am
It was either “Breast Kept Secret” or “Tit Happens”. I only think what La Leche League tells me to think.
March 31st, 2007 at 10:21 am
[...] Interesting, but I’d like to know more aobut who carried it out. Are these the researchers in South Africa who care about AIDS or the ones paid by the government who do not think that it is caused by HIV? Spread It Around: These icons link to social bookmarking sites where readers can share and discover new web pages. [...]
March 31st, 2007 at 12:34 pm
WOW. I am so thankful you guys are here. I have been debreAst for 17 weeks straight. Whatever the fuck that means. But heh, thanks for the laughs.
March 31st, 2007 at 1:21 pm
No, thank you. If your breasts were anything like your posts, the only thing they may have been dripping with were sarcasm.
March 31st, 2007 at 3:52 pm
::::::::sigh::::::: I know you all don’t believe in equal time.
But if you have a change of (bleeding) heart, please post some provocative photos of
Clooney,Pitt,Bono and Usher for us straight women and the gay guys.
(I just noticed I couldn’t think of any hot conservatives)
March 31st, 2007 at 4:47 pm
You mean like provocative photos of Sean Penn and an overly affectionate Labrador named B.J.?
March 31st, 2007 at 5:58 pm
“I just noticed I couldn’t think of any hot conservatives”
I’m thinking some of the hosts here might take umbrage at that statement…
March 31st, 2007 at 6:22 pm
Anyone who slept with Madonna is immediate off the list. That would include both Penn and the Labrador.
April 1st, 2007 at 9:34 am
[...] Six Meat Buffet has the breast kept secret [...]
April 1st, 2007 at 12:13 pm
1) I’m tires of looking at her poor smashed boobs, please post something new.
2) I don’t know if this is off topic or on topic anymore, but AIDS is passed through breastmilk. It’s a fact. http://aids.about.com/od/womensresources/a/breastfeedrisks.htm
3) So it’s very possibly some crazy eugenics scheme.
April 1st, 2007 at 11:55 pm
Now listen h’yere. With the help of some mild sedatives and our friends at Adam & Eve, I got Mrs. Smantix to hold still long enough for that shot.
If you have some cans of your own that you would like to submit in their place, feel free to send them to our blue
balledribboned panel for review. And if your “rock star” photo, wasn’t taken that long ago, we should be in bidness.