Golden Locks and the Three Americas
May 22nd, 2007 at 2:38 pm by CrankyOnce upon a time, it was said that there was not one, but two Americas.
Now listen children, this is a story about a third America that was discovered just beyond the land of rainbows and gumdrops.
In this bright, shiny America, one can levitate out of poverty and earn a year’s worth of salary just by talking about it!
Also in B.S. America, part time jobs are both learning experiences and one-way tickets out of the bread line.
Now the bad, bad people of America Two want to move to America Three. But they really shouldn’t want to enter America Three because their hearts aren’t pure enough.
You see, they don’t care about the people in America One and they don’t do enough to help them.
Fortunately, The nice man in America Three loves the people in America One. He talks to them and they talk to him, even when they are severely brain damaged psychic babies.
This reminds me of something. Helping severely brain damaged psychic babies is also very, very rewarding in America Three.
Anyway, the bad, bad people of America Two will get a tremendous opportunity to help America One if America Three gets its way. Only they won’t be able to do that by talking to people (even severely brain damaged psychic babies!) or working a part time job.
But that’s OK, because at least America Two won’t be forced to purchase carbon offsets.
(Sirloin tip to Dan Collins)
May 22nd, 2007 at 3:17 pm
Geenius.
May 22nd, 2007 at 3:47 pm
Cranky, your fairy tale skills don’t suck anywhere near as much as your poetry!
Perhaps you can cover Rumpelstiltskin next?
May 23rd, 2007 at 7:14 am
My qualm with Edwards is getting paid this much by taxpayer funded universities. Getting $40-50k a pop could have been how many scholarships to kids from Poor America?
Not to mention that it’s using taxpayer money as a de facto campaign contribution.
Remember this the next time we don’t have enough school money for the chirren.
May 23rd, 2007 at 7:58 am
What a gig. All you have to so is know how to make the right people feel guilty and riches and fame will follow.
You can openly flaunt your own words and it won’t matter.
It makes my head want to explode sometimes.