Perhaps if Cameron Diaz had seen this before she brought her I heart Communist Brutality handbag to Peru, she might avoided the faux pas*.
* That is Fronch
chore electives read read Knobeloch breathy
Perhaps if Cameron Diaz had seen this before she brought her I heart Communist Brutality handbag to Peru, she might avoided the faux pas*.
* That is Fronch
DALLAS — A black bag found in a middle school girls’ locker room contained rotten oranges and not a human fetus, the Dallas County medical examiner reported Friday.
A janitor doing end-of-school cleaning Thursday at Ben Franklin Middle School found what appeared to be a human fetus in a trash bag inside a locker, police said.
The janitor called the police, who found it difficult to determine the contents of the bag, Dallas police spokeswoman Sr. Cpl. Janice Crowther said.
Police then turned over the bag to the Dallas County Medical Examiner.
I’d say that was much ado about nothing were Texas authorities not investigating an expired carton of Five Alive in my refrigerator and charging me with genocide.
I’ll bet you didn’t know what a womens golf fan I was.
UPDATE: Ha! In your face!
Everyone’s a little bit racist.
Ace points us to a bit of hilarity at the Wall Street Journal, which used to be fine source of opinion and commentary – that is, before they bent over for the reconquistas in search of the almighty Peso and exposed their lack of respect for American sovereignty.
Hot Air Network’s Web ad, embedded below, urged “conservatives fed up with Republican scheming on this bill, [to] do something about it. If you gave to the party in the past year, you can demand your money back. Call the Republican National Committee today and demand a full refund. If you gave to any senator or congressman in the past year, call their office and demand a full refund.” Hot Air is a conservative online broadcast site run by blogger Michelle Malkin.
The original version, however, was where the hilarity actually ensued, albeit briefly – Mary Jo Carnevale, who has apparently never used a camcorder or the interwebs, QUESTIONED THE FUNDING of this expensive anti-RNC video ad:
According to The Hill, the Shamnesty Bill is officially pushin’ up the little daisies.
It’s Over. FOR NOW.
Message to Junior: Now that you’ve gotten your nose rubbed in it, why don’t you quit being a dick and build the fence?
Message to South Carolina: Take this opportunity to kick Graham out on his ass.
Message to Me: It’s lunchtime.
President Malaprop weighs in:
Where was this bill about LEGAL immigration? All it looked like to me was a bunch of different methods of rewarding criminals. Please let us know which laws will be enforced going forward and which won’t, because once I have that list, I’m going to go on a federally-approved crime spree the likes of which you ain’t never seen, darlin’.
Junior on his man-love, Kennedy:
“Senator Kennedy is one of the best legislative senators there is. He can get the job done. I know firsthand, because we reformed our education system,” Bush said at a March news conference in Mexico.
Damn! You mean we just missed out on another massive Bush-Kennedy failure!? Now I am depressed.
AMNESTY? WE DON’T
NEED NO STEEEEEEENKIN’ AMNESTY!
This one really did make me LOL.
Fred sez: Hell yeah.
For a while, it didn’t look like Washington was going to listen to us regarding real immigration reform. Thankfully, we’ve been spared a serious mistake, but I wonder if things would have turned out the way they did without the work done by the bloggers, talk radio and the American people. Rush, Hannity, Laura Ingraham, RedState, Powerline, Pajamas Media and a lot of others have done a great job. Take that, Fairness Doctrine.
True rule-of-law conservatives rejoicing tonight, drunken, gay, coked-up Mexican transvestites more angry than ever.
Illegal Mexican immigrants are adulterous alcoholics, coke-addled urban cowboys, and lovers of only the
finest lowest class transvestite prostitutes. Not the first thought that comes to my mind but how else could you arrive at a different conclusion from this week’s “progressive” Nashville Scene cover story?
Walking into El Dos de Oros (a Mexican bar) is like stepping into another country. A very loud, dark and crowded country.
Downstairs in the basement, a man whose bright-yellow polo shirt offsets his mocha-colored skin holds out his hand. In his palm sits a matchbook, slid open to reveal a thin, thumbnail-sized Ziploc baggie lying in a bed of strike-anywhere matchsticks. Inside the bag is less than a gram of white powder. Another man—this one wearing an enormous tan leather cowboy hat and black suit with matching leather trim on the lapels—reaches for it with a grin.
“Excellente,” he murmurs slowly, disappearing behind the bathroom’s lone stall door.
The night is just getting started at El Dos de Oros.
So rarely do I read something and not have an idea of what the writer is going for. A piece that starts off as a Mexicans-in-Nashville-carve-out-a-folksy-local-scene will now be a prime target for police surveillance thanks to that line. And for a town that has had so many adult oriented businesses shut down allegedly under the color of health codes violations, this story has legs. Horribly, shaved mens legs in mini skirts:
To buy a drink for Crystal or many other girls at El Dos de Oros—including the transvestites—costs $10. With that money they will buy themselves a 4-ounce $1 can of beer. The remaining 9 bucks goes straight into their respective pockets.
Sometimes, if the girls are drunk enough, they might let some of the men put hands up their skirts or feel their breasts. Though Crystal will soon be so drunk she can barely stand up, she and her sister are earning. On a good night, the girls can take home $300 each.
Don’t get me wrong. I don’t have a whole lot against whoring per se, but El Dos de Oros sounds like an economy sized bucketful of AIDS waiting to happen. Leaving aside the fact that illegal immigration is a top domestic concern and national security risk, if I or any of the well-groomed staff of 6MB had rolled out a piece characterizing illegal aliens as sexually deviant dope-fiends that the blogswarm to call us nativist xenophobes would be en route faster than you could say “Speedy Gonzalez”.
Match this with The Scene’s ritually irrelevant “Ask A Mexican” column and one can’t help but wonder how the racism of The Left gets such a free pass. Any takers?
But then, in what I’m sure was intentional, things take an even more disturbing turn:
Ben and his partner are soon joined by Gracia, a 23-year-old transvestite from Mexico City.
He can also make some money here.
“These men like me,” Gracia says, “and I like to dance, have a beer, so it’s nice.” He says that he does pretty well if he wants to, taking home over $100 on a busy weekend night.
He might do better, but there’s quite a bit of competition.
Eh, tranny prostitutes operating in the open? Big deal. But here was the money quote:
Gracia’s friend “Ashley” (my quotes) can usually be found perched atop a stool, sipping a beer and trying to catch the eye of men on the El Dos de Oros dance floor. Originally from Honduras, Ashley now manages a Jack in the Box restaurant in South Nashville. He actually likes his job, but he admits that it would be awkward if fellow employees knew how he spent his weekends.
“I’m not sure they would understand at all,” he says laughing. “Here though, they do.”
So did The Scene just say that the manager of the Antioch Jack-In-The-Box is a transvestite prostitute? Call me crazy (you’re crazy), but I think sales of Jack’s Meaty Breakfast Burrito may have hit a brick wall.
At first, I was thinking this entire piece was an exercise to see what they could get away with in light of the Kroger’s grocery chain removing Out & About magazine from their racks. As if to gain some Michael Moore-ian attention by trying to provoke the food giant into signaling out their flagging weekly for moral rebuke.
But if removing Out & About was the right thing to do, how long should it take them to find the heterosexual balls to remove The Nashville Scene?
The He/She/It Civil War Continues…
And it’s Brother against, er….hrm..brother as the Tennessee Transgender Political Coalition gives the story’s author, P.J. Tobias, a cauliflower ear for
maligning Mexicans as transvestite hookers portraying Mexicans as bad dressing dope sniffers giving love a bad name improper pronoun usage.
It was with great dismay that I saw the totally incorrect use of terminology regarding the transgender customers of the club.
First, the term “transvestite” is a perjorative term and is considered insulting. If a male-to-female transgender person lives in their birth gender, then the proper term is Crossdresser.
Second, regardless of whether or not a transgender person “has transitioned” (ed. my scare quotes), that person should always be addressed by the gender pronoun appropriate to their gender presentation. The Transwomen described in the article should have been referred to as “She” in every single instance.
So we are arguing over whether he’s a whore or she’s a whore? Observe the moral high ground.
If the Scene’s High Justice of Diversity, one Bruce Barry, bangs his gavel of homo-sensitivity about Mr. Tobias’ head and shoulders, we should expect a decree forcing him to sit down to pee for 6 months at 30%.
Malkin is live-blogging the goings on in congress. I guess she just plain doesn’t like brown people. NZ Bear has put the massive list of amendments online – organized and searchable.
She’s got some droppings from the Clay Pigeon amendments package here. Even Captain Ed is exposing outright lies hidden in the package, which I’m sure the Senate would rather you not bother reading. Then again, I’m sure the Captain will find a way to excuse any involvement GOP Senators may have in the bill in an effort to continue showing blind loyalty to the dying party. Hope I’m wrong…
Check Malkin, Ed, NZ Bear and Ace for your breaking betrayal news this week. Me, I’ve got a damn job.
From Casey Sheehan’s father:
That statement ended Pat Sheehan’s silence.
Yes, he told me, Casey Sheehan’s death mattered. We continued talking and e-mailing, and he made me realize what should have been so obvious — that a soldier’s life is what is significant, not his death or the activism it might inspire.
Good evening, my dear fellow Americans.
I want to share with you something new, something exciting. It’s called the Six Year Party.
We have a vision and we know that it is yours as well. We are 535 citizens who are committed to restore representative government and tame the bureaucracy that has become a behemoth.
Give us six years at the helm of our Great Republic and we promise the following:
Because those deeply entrenched in the power structure will use any dirty trick to retain their positions, I offer you all the skeletons in my closet up front.
On the other hand, I have no ambitions beyond what I already have. A lovely 50 year-old home on an acre lot, two of the best children you’ll ever meet and a solid and mentally healthy wife who puts up with me.
Sure, I’d like a Harley, but that’s about it.
So, dear fellow Americans are there at least two like minded people in our 50 states who will stand with us and run for office? Would the rest of you vote for such a candidate?
I’m still stuck on the way this bill was going to be pushed through without a public airing of crucial provisions, in the two or three days before Memorial Day recess. But I should be stuck even further back–on the way this bill was cooked up in a backroom deal that bypassed the ordinary process of public hearings. We take them for granted, but those civics textbook fundamentals are there for a reason. We’re going to pay a steep price for setting the fundamentals aside.
You can’t solve an argument by imposing a “compromise” on parties who don’t actually view it as a compromise. You can’t heal social divisions by forcing your version of a “solution” down the public’s throats. Real healing comes only when two sides reach what they themselves consider a valid compromise, or when one side wins the argument by persuading a clear majority of the validity of its case. Democracy does work, but first the Senate has got to give it a try.
It’s absolutely flabbergasting that we’re about to get a bill shoved down our throats that AT LEAST 75% of the American public is dead-set against. Every stinking one of these ass clowns needs to be thrown out at the earliest possible opportunity.
The Corner has the switched (from the original June 7 vote) Nay and Yay votes. Plenty of Senators gobbled up the administration’s amnesty seed and switched to the Yay column….
NV to Yea (1)
My recommendation? Go ahead and order one of these. That will hold you over until the assholes in the Senate mandate that Arabic become the Official National Language and we all receive government-issued prayer rugs emblazoned with the Presidential Seal of Failure.
Lt. Tommy Pope of the Fayette County Sheriff’s Department told ABC News that Benoit had missed several appointments over the weekend, leading concerned parties to ask police to do a “welfare check.” When sheriffs arrived at the Benoits’ home, they found the wrestler, his wife, and their son dead.
There were no signs of gunshot wounds or stabbing, according to Pope. Authorities are not ruling out other causes, such as poisoning, suffocation, or strangulation. Pope told ABC News that his department is looking at this situation as a “possible double murder, suicide.”
Pope said “the instruments of death were located on scene,” but would not specify what those instruments are or where in the house the bodies were found. Pope added the department is “not actively searching for any suspects outside of the house.”
Was it steroids? Was he just insane? I remember watching him back in the mid-90s when the WCW/WWF feud was halfway decent. He sucked on the mic, but worked his ass off in the ring. Oh well, if it turns out he was a double-murderer, it was nice of him to spare us the court costs and media circus of a trial and send himself to hell so the state doesn’t have to. Too bad.
UPDATE: Strangled and smothered the family, then hung himself, according to authorities.
Police are calling the case a double homicide-suicide and are investigating whether steroids may have been a factor in the deaths.
Authorities said they found steroids in the home among other legal prescriptions. Steroid abuse has been linked to depression, paranoia, and aggressive behavior or angry outbursts known as “roid rage.”
Nancy Benoit filed for a divorce in May 2003, saying their three-year union was irrevocably broken and alleging “cruel treatment.” But she later dropped the complaint, as well as a request for a restraining order in which she charged that Benoit had threatened her and had broken furniture in their home.
When it comes to garnering attention for their causes, PETA is second to none. Be they dropping buckets of pig’s blood on runway models (a la Carrie), sticking a Kentucky-fried drumstick up Pam Anderson’s pooter, or clogging up the drains of our city streets with naturally furry activists –
our dear friends 6MB’s mortal enemies at PETA know how to grab your attention.
“Although we think that your film could actually help reform America’s sorely inadequate health care system, there’s an elephant in the room, and it is you. With all due respect, no one can help but notice that a weighty health issue is affecting you personally. We’d like to help you fix that. Going vegetarian is an easy and life-saving step that people of all economic backgrounds can take in order to become less reliant on the government’s shoddy healthcare system, and it’s something that you and all Americans can benefit from personally.”
From there, PETA invites the alliteratively named Michael Moore to take the assonantal “30-Day Veg Pledge”. Commenters at PETA’s blog were less than thrilled as they blasphemously worship their Magnum-sized messiah’s gravy image.
Sources close to Moore, Janus and Epimetheus, said that the gravitationally gifted director is currently going native with the Inuit tribe and is filming his new documentary “SoCKO” that explores the lack of sensitivity and cultural imperialism that threatens the tribe’s clubbing of baby seals.
Given Moore’s penchant for lame musical scores (think “Everybody Hurts” in Bowling for Columbine), let me suggest:
NiT Deathwatch begins in earnest this weekend apparently. Casual readers of this site will know that I will miss the NiTwittery in much the same way that Rocky misses a side of beef but hopefully there will be a sequel in the future. Produced by someone else and with a better plot. A completely different supporting coffee klatch of head-nodding cyber sisters wouldn’t hurt either.
Jules Crittenden has some great videos (well, not counting the production value) from the Iraq theatre.
My favorite – Lazy Ramadi:
(Maybe Samberg can help produce the next one?)
UPDATE: Apparently this has been generating quite a buzz. The made a CNN appearance.
ps I hope you liked this post because the next one will induce vomiting.
Courtesy of the Hispanic Senator from Chappaquiddick.
For those of you shooting for your own fatwa from the peace-loving practicers of the Religion of Peace™, the bar has just been raised.
I am personally offended that one of my most beloved meats – blessed pork – has been defiled by the pages of a book filled with hate speech.
RWN has an update on what’s happening with the shamnesty bill this week in the good-ol-boy club that is the U.S. Senate.
The first is the vote on the so-called “clay pigeon” strategy. What this does is take the original bill and all of its amendments and reintroduce it on the Senate floor as a new bill. There are two reasons for doing this. The first is to prevent killer amendments that could upset the “grand compromise” from being voted on. The second reason is procedural, because it keeps conservative Senators who are opposed to the bill from being able to slow up the process.
The conventional wisdom has been that this first cloture vote is a done deal because the Senate leadership has been wheeling and dealing behind the scenes. The way it works is that they go to a Senator and offer to allow a vote on their Amendment IF — and only if — that Senator agrees to vote for cloture on the “clay pigeon” strategy.
My source tells me that this has left a sour taste in the mouth of a number of Republican Senators who are upset that Mitch McConnell is cooperating with Harry Reid to curtail the rights of Republican Senators. Moreover, there’s a growing fear that a dangerous precedent is being set here that could be used against Republican Senators again and again as long as they’re in the minority. After all, if the “clay pigeon” strategy is used against conservatives on the immigration issue, who’s to say it won’t also be used against them on any number of issues in the future?
Read the rest, and find out how Trent Lott and Lindsay Grahamnesty are becoming even more enraged at you and your talk radio buddies.
There is no deed so egregious, no murder so gruesome which a book of poetry won’t ameliorate.
So notes the Hatemonger’s Quarterly:
From what we can tell from the meager excerpts provided in the article, the poems are clumsy and artless. That’s no surprise. As the report informs us: “According to Mr. Falkoff, most of the poetry he is aware of was written by prisoners who had not written poetry before being arrested.”
Gee, then it must be just wonderful. Yet the quality—or its obvious lack—is clearly not the point.
Rather, these poems—presuming they aren’t filled with secret messages to al Qaeda leaders—are merely aimed at convincing bien pensant fools of their political prejudices. They’ll allow the NPR crowd to pretend that, say, Jumah al Dossari, a Gitmo detainee and newfound poetaster, is just a poor fellow mistreated by the evil American government—instead of a fiery Islamist with connections to the Lakawanna Six.
Is it any wonder that I don’t give two shits when the “media” is caught in the crossfire in the war on terror? The mainstream media spends most of its time pushing enemy propaganda anyway, but this goes above and beyond, even for the BBC.
Politicians reacted in disbelief to the revelation that for over two hours yesterday, the BBC News website carried a request for people in Iraq to report on troop movements.
The request was removed from the website after it sparked furious protests that the corporation was endangering the lives of British servicemen and women.
But according to accounts last night, a story on a major operation by US and Iraqi troops against al-Qa’eda somewhere north of Baghdad contained an extraordinary request for information about the movement of troops.
Last night the BBC confirmed the wording of the request was: “Are you in Iraq? Have you seen any troop movements? If you have any information you would like to share with the BBC, you can do so using the form below.”
The BBC confirmed last night that this form of words had appeared on the website from “late morning” until early afternoon.
“It was down by 2pm,” The Daily Telegraph was told.
I’m sure they meant no harm.
“I am appalled because it shows either a wilful disregard for the safety of our Armed Forces or a shocking lack of understanding about their safety.
“It makes me wonder who makes these decisions. The BBC now needs to have urgent discussions with the Armed Forces as to how this message came about,” Dr Fox said.
The blunder sparked a flood of protests from army insiders and servicemen’s relatives, posted on the Army Rumour Service website (www.arrse.co.uk). One woman, who described herself as an “Army wife”, said she was “shocked and dismayed” that the BBC was asking people “to report our troop movements on an open forum which could be read by insurgent forces and/or their allies”.
The BBC insisted last night that the information would not have been published, saying “this was not a blog”.
That’s probably true. It’s easier just to forward the e-mails to their partners at al-Jizziera anyway.
UPDATE: Speaking of the Old Media, in an unsurprising turn-of-events, journalists give to Dim-O-Cracks by a ratio of 9-to-1 over Republicrats.
UPDATE II (Cranky):
I always wondered by the crappy San Francisco paper only published the right-leaning letters which sounded like a Michael Savage diatribe. (Having written them respectful letters on numerous occasion and eventually canceling my subscription for the constant one-sided assault on my values).
Pates did not return a message, but he told The Associated Press that he had not thought the paper’s policy against political activity would apply to him, because he worked on the opinion pages.
The paper’s editorial page editor, John Diaz, told MSNBC.com that Pates had done an honest, professional job in his “gatekeeper role” and just hadn’t thought the issue through.
Right Chucklehead. As the arbiter of public opinion, your political activism probably has no bearing on your job responsibilities. Editoral pages – it’s just like the fashion section except without the floral prints.
He’s back and Jihad Watch has him!
He may be back in protesting action, but what he really misses are those long, steamy nights in Palestine giving Green Helmet Guy rim-jobs in between his five daily prayer sessions. He’s got Green Helmet Guy on speed-dial. And in his mouth. So don’t get too close.
UPDATE: As Paris would say, islamic rage boy is “hot”.
If only for one more time.
We are apparently number four on the Adelphia search engine for:
Even better, we are Numero Fricking Uno for Google searches of “girls of abu ghraib”. Hell yeah!
More routine brilliance from Cox & Forkum.