It’s that time of year. There’s a smell in the air. And it’s not just the usual smell of feet. It’s the smell of pigskin flying through the air, end-over-end and through the uprights. It’s the sound of necks breaking on gridirons from coast to coast. It’s the time of year for Senators to leave the glory holes of Summer behind and get back to Washington to rob us of more income and freedom.

It’s also that time of year when it gets cooler in the mornings and the wasps crawl around on the ground because it’s too cold to fly, which gives me the opportunity to stomp them to death without the possibility of being stung. I love that.

Anyway, back to football season. Vol fans everywhere are filled with the anticipation of yet another season under the guidance of the Great Pumpkin. Will we win the East this year? Will we finish 4th and lose to Vanderbilt again? Both of these are plausible. Will we be able to run the ball this year, or will we continue to suck at the line of scrimmage? Will Erik Ainge be hampered this Saturday by his broken finger?

One thing is certain, our front seven on defense will be solid, but the secondary is up for grabs. If our tailbacks can stay out of prison long enough, we may have a running game – but our receivers are a big question mark.

Unfortunately, I don’t have a good feeling about tomorrow’s nationally-televised battle with Cal. It will be close, but the Gay Bay Bears will squeak out a victory, 22-17. Take heart, though, Vol fans, I’m usually wrong about these things.

Elsewhere in the NCAA….

• Ga Tech 22 Notre Dame 17 – I like the upset here. Notre Dame has lost too many players and little Jimmy “The Pickle” Klaussen is likely out for the season, so they’re starting over.
• Georgia 31 Oklahoma State 20 – I’m picking UGA in this one because (1) they’re playing at home and (2) Cristi at work is wearing a tight-fitting Georgia shirt. That’s enough for me.
• Florida State 2 Clemson 0 – Is everyone as sick as I am of the Bowdens? I wish all of those Bowden bastards would get out of coaching. They’ve done enough damage to the pristine image of College Football for one generation.

Last but not least, Ole Miss will knock off the Memphis State Tigers, 13 – 10. This game is always bizarre – and it’s shocking to me that Brent Schaeffer got knocked down the depth chart by a walk-on, but that’s how it goes when you don’t do your homework. The Rebels will win because every chick I’ve ever known that went to Ole Miss was hotter than hell and dumber than a stump. Evidence:

HOTTY TODDY INDEED.

SAT AM UPDATE:

ESPN Gameday is broadcasting from Virginia Tech this morning, in yet another politically correct move meant to curry favor with the gun-grabber lobby. They could have gone to a location where there was an actual game, but better to keep the “tragedy” story going as long as possible.

So important, in fact, that he’s telling it again.

I liked it better when it was called Casualties of War. Of course Michael J. Fox didn’t have the DV, so its nothing like a retreaded Vietnam tale.

Help me out here, the guy who did the critically acclaimed Body Double is actually able to say something profound? Sure he did Scarface and The Untouchables but I’m just so disappointed about this:

The level of narcissism required to say that with a straight face…

Oliver Stone is on line one, he want’s his “Truth to Power” Mr. Microphone™ back.

UPDATE: A dose of reality for Brian DePalma. Please apply liberally to the frontal lobes.

UPDATE II: Nigel shows us exactly what a Mr. Microphone is. With friends like these…

In the heated debate as to whether one should say “Merry Christmas” or “Happy Holidays”, a bright ray of hope has pierced the dark clouds of war.

“Have a happy holiday” has replaced “happy July 4th”, “Happy Thankgiving” and most fortunately, “Happy Memorial Day” and “Happy Labor Day”.

Besides being the book-ends of the Summer vacation, who knows the difference? I would so much rather say to a co-worker or checkout clerk, “hey have a great holiday weekend” than “hey have a happy, crap Memorial?, um [muttering] Memorial beginning, Labor end, Memorial day! Wait, where you going?”

So enjoy the nice three day weekend. Remember those brave souls who fell in battle for the right to organize.

Dangerous chemicals found at UN HQ in NYC.

Unfortunately, the chemical vials were removed before anyone was seriously injured.

A List of Things Moronically Unlike Apartheid by the Crack Young Staff of “The Hatemonger’s Quarterly”

1) Apartheid is like Twinkies. Both have a white creamy filling.
2) Apartheid is like Journey’s power ballad “Faithfully.” They’re both bad.

They’d all appear here.

(s/t Are We Lumberjacks)

Another one for you techo-geeks.

Please note the search phrase. Very specific to what I’m looking for, no?

Now look at:

• The number of results.
• Which ones floated to the top. Theoretically this is what they call the “most relevant” matches.
• The stunning array of languages avaiable for their software. Where is the filter by language? “Bite me, you little nativist,” comes the mocking reply.

Wonder if its powered by the cutting edge MSN search technology.

Methinks Leo only blogs every two years because those are the only times he’s allowed to sip from the moonshine jug.

Piece of human debris tries to flush her baby down toilet in McDonald’s restroom.

No charges have been filed – however, if this had been a baby pit bull, Americans everywhere would be up in arms and this piece of shit would be banned from the NFL.

Unfortunately, they did not take the “mother” to a nearby swimming pool and hold her head under the water until the bubbles stopped. Which is a damn shame, because that would be the best thing for all involved.

Dear Larry,

I’m a drunken, gay, molested American. Won’t you join me?

Lovingly,
Mark

P.S. I know you’re not gay or molested, but we can work on those items together.

P.P.S. Really, this just gave me another excuse to use this graphic.

P.P.P.S. It’s called recycling. I thought you homos were big on recycling.

The U.S. is the most armed country on Earth with 90 guns per every 100 people.

By my math, we’re short about 10 firearms per every 100 people, so some of you pansies need to get cracking. We’ve already got one per household member in our house, so we’ve done our part.

via Ace

All nanny-state issues aside, this is legislation we conservatives need to support. Let’s reach across the aisle and get this bill passed.

Strong language warning

He wasn’t asked where he came from nor was he asked if he deserves it. He was asked if it is right to ask sacrifice when he apparently does not do so himself.

Interestingly, it’s not Edwards that is the problem. It it the “loud cheers”. I see on the leftish websites defenses of Gore and Edwards with, “well they are rich. It doesn’t make deny the truth of Global Warming, poverty, etc.”

These are the same folks who have been saying decade after decade that the gap between the rich and poor is growing, which by now should be large enough to fold the space-time continuum. They seem willing to injure the other 99% with anti-business rhetoric to spite the “richest 1%”.

And yet, their messiahs seem to get a pass. Remember that the next time you hear that TV Evangelists are huge hypocrites. They are. But enlightened, reality-based thinkers should hold their leaders to a higher standard.

See the pattern emerging here?

• A Rio Rancho police officer died Monday after crashing his motorcycle while riding in a motorcade as President Bush prepared to leave the city following a fundraiser for Sen. Pete Domenici.
• A Honolulu police officer, Steve Favela, died when his motorcycle crashed while he was part of a presidential motorcade traveling across Hickam Air Force Base last November.
• In February 2006, a Bernalillo police officer was injured when his motorcycle went down while he was helping escort Bush’s motorcade on Interstate 25.
• Sgt. Jerry Nixon suffered a broken nose, cuts and bruises.

What could these officers know? Were they about to blow the cover off of Bush’s deep cutbacks on domestic services? Was their an oil pipeline running from Iraq through the Fraternal Order of Police and onto Israel?

We just won’t know. General Pace, please save us!

It does the heart good to see our servicemen having fun with the people we are led to believe despise them.

Maybe they’re making fun of a disfigured woman?

Getting confused every time rumors of Castro’s death hit the news wires? Me too.

Fortunately, Are We Lumberjacks provides a very useful guide to help you track the deathwatch.

I think he uses science ‘n’ stuff. It looks like some form of engineering widget.

Update: Of course, as Ginger did, feel free to submit your own petitions.

Not if this guy’s countrymen listen to what he has to say.

Hope he doesn’t get his throat slit by the BBC.

Pure brilliance. Found at Tim Blair.

BTW, he does tend to show a subtle anti-religious bias. No faiths are exempted.

My babies, the green frogs tend to be a lazy group of welfare recipients. While mowing the lawn today, I chased two turbo leopard frogs (sorry, no photo available) out of the long grass. To be fair, I believe the green frogs are nocturnal.

However, when I came across my Carbon Offset Victory™ pond, what should I find but no less than seven of these little bad boys.

They really do sit on the lily pads just like the cartoons.

For those following the saga of the garden itself, please note that I completely lost the battle of the jungle weeds. All the nice Hastas and Ferns are lost in the Lucifer Grass. Robbo has never had it so easy in his gardening travails.

This is just outrageous.

Like Dan Collins says, “Assuming, for the present, that the stories in the article are true, heads must roll.”

I agree. Taken at face value, it creates an infuriating picture of corruption and a government that will destroy lives to maintain the status quo.

Of course, the article is written by an advocacy journalist with an axe to grind and some of the facts are in question. I recommend reading the comment thread and the many links for the context.

But we can be reasonable sure there is war profiteering going on. Although that in itself is unacceptable, the true outrage is how the whistleblowers are treated.

Really, all you need to know about how your government handles things is summed up right here.

Now think about these souls with no incentive for performing basic customer service or worse; charged with your well-being.

You think I’m kidding? Think about how disputes with Child Protective Services or Deadbeat Dad statutes go.

If you have an hour to waste, why not try enjoying this pure, delicious nutty treat known as Pandagon’s comment thread. It appears the little lady put out a book covering all the classic victim poses in feminism.

Oh and the good part? She put a gorilla on the cover.

Consider that for a minute. Now imagine what that sparked. Now check out what happens when the sheer weight of the collective victim-centric worldviews cause a new black hole to be formed.

OK, I can’t resist – here are some of my favorites:

Other bloggers pulling up lawn chairs and enjoying the carnage:

Tim Worstall
SondraK
Dennis the Peasant

The Institute for Legal Reform has:

Why? Good question.

I detect a certain hostility towards trial lawyers. I think the mission statement will clear that up:

Statement: “The Surge is bringing order to Iraq.”

They Hear: “With Troop Rise, Iraqi Detainees Soar in Number”

Statement: “We need to improve intelligence capabilities to meet the threat of terrorism.”

They Hear: “Our enemies in a time of war have a privacy right under the constitution.”

Statement: “The destruction of the World Trade Center was one of the greatest crimes in history.”

They Hear: “The health problems caused by cleaning up the destruction of the World Trade Center was one of the greatest crimes in history.”

Statement: “Several men of Middle Eastern appearance were seen acting suspiciously before and after boarding the flight.”

They Hear: Intolerance! Hatred! Homopho-oops! RAAAAAACISM!!!!