Sources within the Bush Administration are said to be “emotionally overwrought” as a result of the theft of Project Codename Tugboat – known informally as Rumsfeld’s Fantastical Weather Machine.

The missing contraption was developed in the late 1990′s and has been used to generate a massive tsunami in late 2004, which was aimed almost entirely at brown-skinned people, as well as an entire series of hurricanes in the summer of 2005, also aimed at brown people in Louisiana and Texas. The combination of the weather-machine-generated Hurricane Katrina and some well-placed explosives resulted in the flooding of one of America’s greatest bastions of government dependency ever created.

This photo of the machine’s development
was leaked to the press by unidentified government sources.

Whoever has made off with this technological marvel has apparently created Hurricane Dean and aimed it directly at the country of Mexico, also known within the Bush Administration as Magical Hardworking Family Values Land.

“It is an absolute crime against humanity for this evildoer to aim such a destructive force at a country full of hardworking family values type folks. This is not the kind of thing I want to see exported to the good, hardworking people of Mexico. The only things that we should be exporting to Mexico are American dollars, jobs, our national sovereignty, our collective dignity and my tongue into Vinnie Fox’s sweet sweet mouth,” the President said.

Sadly, Dean’s path has been aimed
directly at Magical Hardworking Family Values Land.

Below is an artist’s rendering of the suspect. If you see this person or locate the Fantastical Weather Machine, please contact your local North American Union Diversity Enforcement Official.

Evildoer

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