Liveblogging Monday Night Football While Simultaneously Finishing A Report For Work That Was Actually Due Today
October 8th, 2007 at 8:47 pm by Preston Taylor HolmesOh… it’s Dallas at Buffalo? Sounds like a bad idea for liveblogging. But that’s never stopped me before. So on we go. For the record, I’ve never heard of any of the players on the Bills, though, with those throwback uniforms, I expect to see Joe Ferguson and O.J. “I Like Hacking Off The Heads of White Women” Simpson. So far, no corpses.
Sorry for the lack of blogging lately, but, you know, it’s blogging. As soon as you faggots cough up a nice annual salary and benefits, I’ll put in a full day’s work around here. Until then, take it like a woman and like it.
Interception – run back – touchdown Bills. In your face, Romo. Bills up 7-0.
Speaking of the word “faggot,” my boy Dan Collins got in some hot water for calling Gleen a faggot a while back. Or something like that. Isn’t Gleen a faggot? He sure acts like it. But then again, I haven’t been paying that much attention lately. Maybe Gleen went straight during my unannounced hiatus. But really, what’s the big deal? I called my friend Mike a faggot repeatedly Friday night, and other than being mildly irritated, he didn’t seem to care.
Dallas stalls. Buffalo driving, still up 7-Nil.
My boy Vinnie alerted me to another loving story from the Religion of Peace™.
Why would they feel fear? Those nice folks who have done so much with the gift of Gaza are as tolerant as tolerant can be, aren’t they? I mean, they deserve their own state, I’d say!
Ayyad regularly received anonymous death threats from angry people who accused him of missionary work, a rarity among Gaza’s Christians. His store, which is associated with a Christian group called the Palestinian Bible Society, was firebombed in April.
I’m certain this was the work of white supremacists.
On Friday, he noticed that he was being followed by a car with no license plates. Ayyad called his family Saturday afternoon to tell them he had been abducted but would be freed later in the evening, said Azazian. Police were notified, but his body was found the next morning.
Ayyad left two young children and a pregnant wife.
How dare that infidel sell books unrelated to the Pedophile Prophet (PBUH)? As Vinnie aptly noted, this was true martyrdom. May the perps spend eternity in hell with their Gloryhole Gobbler Arafat.
I just realized I’ve made no progress on this report. Back in a bit. Suzy Kolber was just spotted on the sidelines with her hands in Ron Jaworski’s pants. I’m slightly aroused.
Okay, I just saw this Krystal commercial called “Man-Up” starring McKenzie and Lauren – they’re from Athens, GA. The premise is that this blonde dingbat is going on a date with her boyfriend. You can tell she’s a bitch, because when he attempts to open the car door for her, she calls him off. This is a reminder to you guys, it doesn’t pay to be a gentleman.
Anyway, this cow orders about 37 krystals when they get to the window to cram in her fat face, and the boyfriend only orders a few. This is somehow a knock against him as she says that he just needs to go to Chik-Fil-A, because he can’t hang with her fat ass and her 37-Krystals-in-one-sitting gluttony. Cow.
Ooops, Dallas is on the board, 7-7.
Holy crap, Buffalo puts three on the board, and on the very next play, Romo has a pass deflected then caught in the endzone for a Bills TD – Bills up 17-7. Chris Kelsay (Nebraska – Vinnie) blocks the pass at the line and catches it himself for the TD. Unbelievable. In your face, Romo.
And, as if it couldn’t get any better, former Vol Jabari Greer picks off Romo’s 4th interception on the next drive. I’ve enjoyed watching Dallas fail ever since I was a kid, long may it continue!
Now I’m really not getting this report done. I suppose I’ll go do that.
October 8th, 2007 at 9:07 pm
[...] boy Preston’s fagblogging Monday Night Football over at Six Meat Buffet. Posted by Dan Collins @ 6:03 pm | Trackback Share [...]
October 8th, 2007 at 9:48 pm
Maybe Ron can sideline Suzy by showing her why they call him “Jaws”.
October 8th, 2007 at 11:06 pm
An ex-Husker and an ex-Vol making Romo look like a homo.
What could be sweeter than that?
24-16, Bills still up at the moment.
While I don’t really have a favorite pro team, I do hate Dallas with the white hot intensity of a thousand suns.
October 8th, 2007 at 11:10 pm
You do remember when Joe Namath tried to maul Suzie one Christmas Eve, right?
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=50KN74rC_jA
October 8th, 2007 at 11:29 pm
I stumbled on your blog by accident. Actually through the gifted inmates at the asylum I called The Nose On Your Face. I love your writing. You’re very funny.
I’ll be back.
Thank you for “getting it”. So few do.
Laurie Kendrick
Houston
October 9th, 2007 at 2:00 am
Er, didn’t end well for us Dallas haters.
October 9th, 2007 at 6:55 am
I actually made it to the end of the game, but I had to get some work done. Sorry, Nigel. See, I have this thing called a job. I can’t sit around and watch old San Diego Padres games like you all day.
Vinnie, I was saddened by the outcome, but not surprised. The fix was in.
Thanks for the visit Laurie – come again!
October 9th, 2007 at 1:42 pm
If you are going to start blogging a game, please be sure and finish with all six meats complete.
What was the final score again?
October 9th, 2007 at 5:55 pm
I believe it was 25-24 Dallas or some shit. And I had work to do, Robert. My liveblogging tends to never actually stay on topic or even focus on the event allegedly being liveblogged, so the fact that I got almost a full half out of it was an important baby step for me.
That calling-time-out-at-the-last-second-to-ice-the-kicker shit is unacceptable though. Seemed like justice that Dallas won, even though i hate them so.
October 9th, 2007 at 10:29 pm
I disagree, Preston. I can still remember you live-blogging your garage sale. That was some of your best stuff…