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Blowing .18 On The Far Left Of Your Dial

October 27th, 2007 at 10:02 pm by Brian

In one of the strongest repudiations to date against repealing a workplace ban on the three martini lunch, our intrepid reporter – Randi Rhodes, staggered briefly from the gutter to a microphone to slur this intriguing theory:

I started just doing Google searches to try and figure out. You know, arson, arson, it was like crazy trying to figure out why is that being downplayed? Why is that, you know, just a small part of the story? And you know, every time I look for it what comes up, believe it or not, is that Blackwater wants to move to San Diego and build this giant complex in San Diego right where most of the evacuations are taking place and you know.
Just recently said no to Blackwater and apparently you don’t do that. I mean, I don’t even know what to think. You know, nobody is saying Blackwater set the fires, that is nobody that doesn’t want their house burned down. Nobody is saying that, but it is all so bizarre that this is America and you have to sort of sit there and wonder … arson, same place Blackwater West wants to be, people protesting. And then you find out that some of the guys that used to work for Blackwater are now in Schwarzenegger’s administration. It’s all so creepy.

Bizarre indeed.

Hit Me Again!

Of course, it wasn’t long before Rhodes was topped like a splash of Coke in a whiskey sour by her fellow inmate bartender clown rapist co-conspiracist Mike Malloy who took The Red Pill with his effeminate cocktail only to discover how far down the sewer Left Wing Hate Radio goes.

They’re not having electrical storms out there, they’re not having any storms at all. What’s causing it? But then the answer popped into my head, as easily as the answer about torture. The fires are being set, the fires are being set by elements of the Bush crime family. It’s a great distraction, it’s a wonderful distraction. And then I thought to myself, Jesus God! Did you really have that thought?! And the answer came back – yeah, loud and ‘effing clear.”


Had drive-time radio audiences not already made this warning unnecessary, I feel it’s still worth noting that you should not listen to Air America while operating a motor vehicle. Side effects may include bloodshot eyes, dizziness, and a desire to urinate in the bushes. Listening to Air America is known to cause cancer in the State of Texas.

Ed. Note: We love our pets so please walk your dog responsibly.

Stein hoist to Ace.

13 Responses to “Blowing .18 On The Far Left Of Your Dial”

  1. Nigel Says:

    Well, son-of-a-bitch…look who’s back.

  2. Nigel Says:

    OK, now that I have actually READ the post…

    I am PISSED at these morons. They need to have the guts to come on out here and repeat that garbage in front of a fire recovery center in front of those who have lost their homes.

  3. Donna Locke Says:

    Well, you know the CIA is outsourced now.

  4. Donna Locke Says:

    By the way, I knew this was you, Smantix, before I got four lines into it. It’s about time!

  5. michele Says:

    A simile, metaphor, and a cinematic allusion all in one sentence. My “Beginner’s Guide to Modern Literary Analysis” said to tell you he missed you. Oh, and hi from me too.

  6. Brian McMurphy Says:

    For all intents and purposes, smantix is no more. But when I heard this story I unilaterally logged back in. Thanks guys.

    PTH, Gordo, and all the rest reserve the right to slap me back in my place should the urge strike them. If they’ll have me, I’ll need a new user profile created.

  7. Gordon Says:

    Do mine eyes deceive me? You are back and better than ever. You’ve been missed and this was a heckofa comeback.

    Yeah yeah, I know this is a one off. But you just can’t quit us, can you?

  8. Preston Taylor Holmes Says:

    I knew you couldn’t stay away. I’ll have my team of lawyers starting working on a new contract forthwith.

  9. Brian McMurphy Says:

    I’ll see what I can do. The commies have really been running wild in my absence and with no discernible voice on the right in this town my poor excuse for one may have to do.

    Who should we get fired next?

  10. Nigel Says:


    I don’t know if the 6MB budget can handle bringing back Smantix at full salary…what with you hiring Tiny and then sending Cranky to Romania.

    I suggest giving Smantix an incentive-laden contract…

  11. Donna Locke Says:

    We expect a lot for our entertainment dollar here. Maybe y’all can have a bake sale or half-baked sale and give him a raise.

  12. Brian McMurphy Says:

    Feel free to send in ideas Donna. Our public access snark is made possible by a grant from Viewers Like You.

  13. Donna Locke Says:

    All the bloggers here are quite funny — intentionally, I hope. Y’all should have your own comic book. You know, ex-hippie Mike Malloy was a radio talker in Atlanta for years and years and did some riffs on Jim and Tammy Faye Bakker and others that were priceless. I haven’t heard him on Air America, so I don’t know if he has lost his sense of humor. If so, then I guess it’s in Born To Be Mild PC Cemetery and Mausoleum.

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