Oh, Please Don’t Let 2008 Be The Year of the Suckster
January 1st, 2008 at 4:44 pm by Preston Taylor HolmesIn case you didn’t know it, Suckabee has lost a lot of weight. Oh, and he’s the most Christianist candidate out there. In fact, I think he’s stopped just short of referring to himself as The Chosen One. He’s way more Christianable than Mitt “SuperPlasticEmptySuitMan” Romney. The fact that these two are battling it out for the GOP lead says that the Grand Old Party may indeed be a thing of the past. And that’s a crying shame, because it showed such promise in 1994, only to become corrupted by its own collective greed.
Yesterday’s Suckabee press conference takes the cake, though. This guy is already embarrassing on several levels, but to come out and make a spectacle of yourself while denouncing negative ads is a thing of comic legend. In case you missed it, the Suckster’s press conference was set to unveil one such negative ad, which attacked Romney and others. But he had a change of heart, because he’s really really nice and just hates that nasty negative campaigning.
So, in short, 1) Create negative ad, 2) Call press conference to denounce your own ad, 3) Show the ad to the press anyway, 4) Keep a straight face the whole time, even when the room bursts into laughter as a result of your inexplicably moronic stunt. This kind of crap must play in Arkansas, but it doesn’t play where people know better. Even President Clifford figured that out in 92. Per the bedwetters at NBC…
“The cookie cutter approach says you get hit, you hit back,” Huckabee told the reporters, adding, “I think that the Washington way often has been effective. But there may be a better way, and I hope that we can prove that’s exactly the case.”
Then — via a laptop projector — he showed the ad anyway to the several dozen journalists in the room.
Adding to the spectacle, the sound of the ad didn’t work for several minutes — until the press got to hear it one time. The ad, which his campaign said cost $30,000 to produce, begins with Huckabee speaking to the viewer. “I’m Mike Huckabee, and I approve this message, because Iowans have a right to know the truth about Mitt Romney’s dishonest attacks on me and even an American hero, John McCain.”
Then an announcer takes over. “Romney’s record? Over $700 million in new taxes. Left office with a deficit. No executions. Supported gun control. And Romney’s government mandated health plan provided a $50 co-pay for abortion.”
Huckabee has the last word. “If a man is dishonest to obtain a job, he’ll on the job,” he says in the ad. “Iowans deserve better.”
“Hopefully, this is an ad that you will see just in this room,” he told the reporters.
Because we live in the YouTube generation, not only to we get great obscure videos from the 1980s, we get instant gratification during election season.
Via Hot Air…
The “lose your own soul” line comes in at about 7:45, after several glitches get taken care of the ad finally plays.
UPDATE: I, for one, am proud of Frank J. for staying above the fray of negative blogging. If only we could do the same.
January 1st, 2008 at 5:11 pm
Wait. Are you calling Peter Schilling’s Major Tom “obscure”?
I think you are walking that dangerous line toward “casting aspersions” on another of my ’80s music heroes…
But thanks for linking it anyway. Can we hijack this thread and turn it into a Tubing Thread? It’s New Year’s Day…who wants to talk politics anyway?
My initial contribution…
January 1st, 2008 at 7:31 pm
It takes a village to raise a child. It takes a Huckster to beat a Clinton. It takes a father to raise the bail.
January 1st, 2008 at 7:50 pm
Peter Schilling claims there is no connection between his astronaut Major Tom and the Major Tom of Space Oddity.
And Schmuckabee? If nominated, I will give my vote to whatever Libertarian gets nominated.
January 1st, 2008 at 8:00 pm
Well, if you’ve not checked it out, here’s the certainly odd live German version of Major Tom. Check out the guitar dudes. Totally rad, man.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KoidJVAMAVE&feature=related
January 1st, 2008 at 8:15 pm
That’s awesome, YellowGuys. The appearance of special guest, ET is a nice touch indeed.
Schmuckabee – that’s good, Cranky. I wish I’d have come up with that instead of Suckabee. But now I’m Stuckabee.
January 1st, 2008 at 8:50 pm
Nice pull YellowGuys…I’ll take 80′s songs in German and English for $400, Alex…
January 2nd, 2008 at 11:09 am
I don’t know a single person for Huckabee. Where are these people?
January 2nd, 2008 at 11:46 am
I don’t know a single person for Huckabee. Where are these people?
We are legion, #9. All of us think that Huckabee would be a fine candidate to represent the Republican Party in the 2008 election…
January 2nd, 2008 at 7:08 pm
Huckabots, Huckazombies, Huckleberries, Huckheads, Huckteeth, Huckwits, Hucknuts, Huckbuddies, Huckwads, sheesh. I’m all hucked up.
January 3rd, 2008 at 4:59 pm
Personally, I like f***abee and what ochagirl at IMAO said “The new cuss word of the political world? “What the HUCK are you doing voting for that guy? There’s no hucking way I’m voting for that mothahucka!”