Bolts Versus Dolts in The Battle By The Buffet
January 6th, 2008 at 1:14 pm by BrianWith the upcoming Titans/Chargers rematch just hours away, consider this the gauntlet being thrown down. Nigel from TG211, an avowed user of electricity and confessed Ron Burgundy enthusiast was magnanimous in offering Tennessee a pass earlier this week on today’s game:
hey guys…just got back from playing golf in sunny 75 degree weather.
Rub it in whydontcha?
The pride before the fall mudslide.
Anyway, I was thinking (a) friendly wager on whoever wins.
[...]
But based on your analysis, I would understand if you wanted to pass on the wager. I’m not really looking for “bragging rights”, just thought it might be fun…
Dearest Nigel. Since when have we ever needed something to brag about to brag?
Kerry Collins off-the-bench is arguably the most explosive back-up QB in our offense. Lendale White has been loading up on fatty foods and empty calories to provide him the quick burst of energy he’ll need to hit the line. Our corners provide more cushion than my Tempurpedic mattress and lay down almost as often.
Thanks to the fine work of Habitat for Humanity and the Americans With Disabilities Act, our Special Teams now have access to the gridiron. So when the ground starts shaking, you’ll know it’s not the Charger lightning but the Rolling Thunder of The Titans that’s going to tear Quallcom Stadium a new wheelchair ramp.
Some San Diegans are even seeking help from the dead to put the cosmic kibosh on the Southern Invasion:
A Spring Valley man will have visited his uncle’s grave to talk about the football game. And one fan in the stands will have voodoo beads he bought in New Orleans, just in case the Chargers fall behind and the team needs a little extra help from the other side.
[...]For Alejo Hao, 35, of Spring Valley, game-day rituals involve playing “San Diego Super Chargers” while his young children dance and sing, and going to church.
And then there’s a visit to his uncle’s grave, where the tombstone has an etched picture of his uncle wearing a Junior Seau jersey.“It makes me feel better, kind of like a security blanket,” Hao said. “If I don’t do something I normally do and the Chargers lose, I blame it on myself.”
[...]
Bill Carli, 53, of Encinitas bought voodoo beads in New Orleans many years ago. The beads, he suspects, are part of the reason the 1994 Chargers went to the Super Bowl.The Chargers were leading by one point in a divisional playoff when Miami Dolphins kicker Pete Stoyanovich lined up for a field goal.
Carli called on the beads. Stoyanovich missed.
“Those voodoo beads, you can’t mess with those,” Carli said.
Quick question: Does Mr. Hao need to get his uncle a new tombstone now that Seau plays for the Pats?
This abomination will not stand Nigel. A Chargers victory today is mud in the eye of God himself. And in the land of the blind the one-eyed God is King. Either that or a cyclops.
There can be only one, “LT”.
Loser will dedicate part of their site to the victor and possibly a haiku or three in honor of their opponent’s mightiest warriors.
Bring it.
Three Yards And A Cloud of Heavy Whipped Cream Update: Well, God’s going to have to learn to live with disappointment. Sorry ’bout that G-dawg. The holy defensive line of the Titans couldn’t overcome the sacrilege of Bill Carli’s Charger butt beads.
I can’t help but think that Collins would have been able to mix-up the defense better than Young did. Young’s well….he’s young. The game has not slowed down for him yet and the stats don’t lie. 138 total yards passing a game don’t pay the pickle man. Plus, where’d the old young Vince go? The one not afraid to scramble for a 1st down? 2 carries / 12 yards.
*sigh*
And speaking of paying the pickle man….
January 6th, 2008 at 1:41 pm
It’s ON, Brian.
Unfortunately I do not have time for a counter-post at my site as I am leaving for the game. With the bad weather, I have decided against trying to bring my laptop…
As far as their being only “one LT”…hell, I’ll take our LT over that cocaine-addled freak any day…
January 6th, 2008 at 2:04 pm
just because your site rocks, doesn’t mean you and your “Titans” won’t schooled today
January 6th, 2008 at 2:06 pm
or “get”, even… damn
LOL – still buzzed from the Donk debate drinking game. I was a fool for picking “change” as my drinking word.
January 6th, 2008 at 4:04 pm
Dude! I actually know Bill Carli; he used to be my neighbor. That’s funny that he got a mention for those stupid voodoo beads. He broke my Homer Simpson beer bottle opener at our neighbor’s Super Bowl Party back in ‘02. If the Chargers lose to your handicapped pass-carrying team today, at home, at the Qurph, the carpet baggin’ Alex & Dean Spanons had better revoke A.J Smith’s contract extention and fire him and Norv Turner. This had better be a beatin’ that leaves a mark on the Tennessee Tuxedo’s collective ass for the next 9 months.
January 6th, 2008 at 4:36 pm
I’m ready. The kids have popcorn and wii to distract them while I slink off to the other room to try and catch some of the game.
I’ll report back. Nigel, YS, Frank, you’re all going down. That is, unless, you don’t, in which case, you won’t.
January 6th, 2008 at 5:32 pm
LOL Preston, fair enuf. The Titans came to play, I’ll give em that
January 6th, 2008 at 5:55 pm
Nice first half from the Baby Blues. Time of Possession reminded me of the old McNair/George days of having the ball for 58 minutes/game.
January 6th, 2008 at 7:20 pm
Dang, 4th quarter and the Titans are going down faster than Preston Taylor Holmes at a drag queen convention.
January 6th, 2008 at 7:31 pm
whoops…speaking of?
January 6th, 2008 at 7:36 pm
Game over! Titans played a good and fair game, especially on injury-limited staff, but can we put this “Chargers can’t win in the playoffs” meme to rest? I guarantee Peyton isn’t happy….
January 6th, 2008 at 8:00 pm
“Touchdowns not field goals” – that’s mantra isn’t it? I don’t think Coach has FITB.
January 6th, 2008 at 8:35 pm
by the way, ya get what ya get for saying LT has to live up to the LTcrackhead’s heritage. Should be the other way around
January 6th, 2008 at 9:21 pm
That what I get?!? That’s what you get!
Think how much faster LaDainian would be if he had some crack.
January 6th, 2008 at 10:20 pm
Just got back from the game…I’ll post on it soon…
About Vince Young…he’s a good quarterback. I had a great view from the end zone, and Young had nobody open downfield all day. In the first half he took what the Chargers gave him, but the Bolts adjusted and kept him in the pocket and mixed up their coverages. Give Vince Young a few receivers and he will be terrific.
Jeff Fisher can flat out coach. He took Tomlinson completely out of the game. If the Titans had any kind of secondary, Tennessee might have pulled that game out.
Albert Haynesworth is a punk.
January 6th, 2008 at 11:39 pm
Just got back home – well played, Nigel. We’ll pay up, I just hope I have enough time at work tomorrow to come up with a suitable sidebar graphic for the occasion.
January 7th, 2008 at 7:46 am
Vince Young is not the Man… sorry Nigel… he missed open recievers all day low throws, wide throws. He also throws off his back foot on almost all throws: it’s enough to make me want to “throw” up
January 7th, 2008 at 12:11 pm
Hey Spanky…the receivers were not as open as you might think. Several of his “low throws” were throwing away from defenders…had he tried to hit the receiver in the numbers he would have been picked off.
I do agree that he has that tendency to throw off his back foot…but if you are a Titans fan do not run this guy out of town. The guy is a leader and as soon as the Titans give this guy a few weapons he will be just fine. Philip Rivers has the same tendency, but somehow he was able to find his receivers yesterday. Of course they were WIDE OPEN…
January 7th, 2008 at 7:51 pm
You already have it the perfect sidebar graphic, Preston, it’s the Current Moon one.