Preston Taylor Holmes
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Two Candidates I Can Get Behind

January 25th, 2008 at 7:00 am by Preston Taylor Holmes

The first is Sunny Lucas. Part of her platform….

THE ECONOMY
“Flat tax. Capitalism. No hand-outs. Tough shit.”

In nature as God made it, the harder you work, the more you have. This is right and good. If one dog is smarter or more hard-working than other dogs and can catch more prey, he gets to eat more. He may choose to share his bounty with other dogs, but if he doesn’t, then it’s up to the other dogs to work harder for themselves. If they can’t or won’t do that, then tough shit. They don’t get to live as well as the smarter, more industrious dogs.

Now, Sunny realizes that humans are not dogs. We are civilized and altruistic, or so we should be. We understand that there will always be people born with disadvantages that aren’t their fault, like a disease or abusive parents. Those people should be helped because it is the right thing to do. We also know that there are certain things that everyone needs to pay for, for the greater good. Roads, courthouses, infrastructure, schools, prisons, and taking care of the elderly, to name a few. Like when Sunny had to give up some of her quality of life to make Digger’s better when he was old and dying. It’s the decent thing to do.

But socialists are assholes and have taken this concept of “helping others” to a totally counterproductive conclusion, which enables lazy people to be lazy at the expense of everyone else. If the most efficient and successful hunting dog is forced to give up most of its kills to feed the least efficient and least hardworking dogs can lay around in the sun all day, breeding large litters of puppies, eventually that hardworking dog is going to say fuck it, what’s the point? and will either start killing the lazy dogs or letting them starve, or worst of all, will give up trying to achieve so much because why bother? and then everyone will starve. It’s no way to run a dog pack and it’s no way to run a country.

And that’s just part of the glorious platform. The rest of it is just as brilliant. I think I just messed myself. I’ll be right back.

Okay, I’m back.

Second but not least, this guy.

Slicing through terrorists and economic turbulence like a hammer.

h/t M.B.


2 Responses to “Two Candidates I Can Get Behind”

  1. michele Says:

    That’s the first candidate with a platform I could get totally behind. I’ll even carry her poop bag.

    I may write her in.

  2. Nigel Says:

    OK, I am now sick of politics. My brain is going to explode…

    Gonna go over to Michele’s music site now for a little R&R…

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