Yes friends, I’ve cracked the DaVinci code that Disney uses to turn my children from adorable pre-teens into a multi-billion dollar demographic!

For no money down, I’m willing to share this with you!

Start with a lovable misfit. You cannot have an arrogant, snotty type – like Michael Eisner, for example. The character must be from the other side of the tracks or at least not in the “in group”.

Next, frame a zany sitcom around your lovable misfit. No premise is too absurd! We’re talking about an audience comprised of insecure morons seeking an identity – i. e. your kids.

Magic Bobby is a special, special kid in a special, special world, or so goes the jingle when I pitch it to the suits in L. A.

He drools excessively and thinks the only person who likes him is the nerdy girl played by a very attractive non-nerd actress who wears glasses to appear nerdy. You see, nerds wear glasses.

Anyway, here is the hook, the drool is magic. Work with me on this, people. Magic Bobby is descended from a long line of fortune tellers but never knew it. Now he can gaze into a pool of drool and see people for who they really are. Hilarity and very important life-lessons ensue.

Ready for the next step? It seems counter-intuitive but you must do this step.

Create six episodes and play them over and over. Do marathons and Magic Bobby weekends. Kids and torture victims love repetition. Soon, the impressionable minds will love Magic Bobby or Big Brother or whomever you choose.

Merchandise!

Never underestimate the disposable income of your audience. Magic Bobby is no longer a TV show, no, it is now a movement. And who doesn’t want a piece of that?

Related to merchandising is creating The Movement!

Have as many crossovers episodes, music tours, ice capade shows as possible. Promote premiere parties that young fans can have in their own homes. Do sequels and release a CD, a DVD, a sing-along DVD, a making-of DVD of the CD and a sing-along CD of the making of the DVD. Pure gold!

You will ride the gravy train until your talent turns up naked in a police lineup coked to the gills.

When that happens return to step one and repeat.

Share This entry was posted on Sunday, January 27th, 2008 at 2:20 pm and is filed under Entertainment. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. Both comments and pings are currently closed.