On Stupor Tuesday Eve, Osama Hussein Wraps Up Critical Lifetime Endorsement

February 4th, 2008 at 12:39 pm by Preston Taylor Holmes

In a shocking turn of events, the Lifetime Channel has officially come out and endorsed Osama Hussein in his struggle against the DNC’s matriarchal heir.

LOS ANGELES – Offering women a permission slip to desert the candidacy of Hillary Rodham Clinton in favor of Barack Obama, Oprah Winfrey said Sunday they should not feel guilty if they preferred him over her.

“Being free means you get to think for yourself,” she said, “and you get to decide for yourself what to do.”

A few minutes later, her friend, Maria Shriver, the wife of California Gov. Arnold Schwarzenegger, came on stage and announced her support for Obama.

Shriver said she only decided at the last minute to come to the rally at the University of California, Los Angeles, and support Obama publicly.

“I thought, if Barack Obama was a state, he’d be California,” she said to a crowd of 9,000 inside UCLA’s Pauley Pavilion. “Diverse, open, smart, independent, bucks tradition. Innovative. Inspirational. Dreamer. Leader.”

Shriver apparently forgot to mention some of the other descriptions that fit the Golden State – bankrupt, tranny, godless, pacifist, over-taxed, Mexican.

While the estrogen-and-cellulite-laden Fantastic Four put on a dog-dog-dog-and-pony show in support of Osama, they encouraged female voters to think for themselves, but most importantly, to vote for the candidate they support – Senator Osama Hussein.

“We realize that Senator Osama does not cry at each campaign stop, which would ordinarily be all Lifetime needs to officially endorse a candidate (well, that and a couple of ovaries), but we have been assured by Mrs. Osama that the Senator does indeed cry after intercourse, which sealed the deal for us,” added Lifetime programming specialist Lezley Stanchez.

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6 Responses to “On Stupor Tuesday Eve, Osama Hussein Wraps Up Critical Lifetime Endorsement”

1. MB Says:
   February 4th, 2008 at 1:36 pm

   I guess they could not stop themselves, they thought this was a good idea how?

   MB

2. michele Says:
   February 4th, 2008 at 2:19 pm

   It’s a girl thing, but I see a post with cellulite mentioned and I hone in on that terrifying word and forget everything else. Now I will forever connect Obama with cellulite.

   I’m off to paint my bathroom mirror black. I’d hate to see any Obamas on my ass.

   BTW who’s the pony?

3. Tennesseefree.com » Obama And More Celebrity Endorsements Says:
   February 4th, 2008 at 4:19 pm

   [...] Preston is reporting on a very important group endorsement for Obama. He can use all of the touchy feely emotional female endorsements he can get, especially with Hillary crying again today, which should be worth at least a few percentage points. [...]

4. Brian Says:
   February 4th, 2008 at 6:28 pm

   I would go with dog-dog-skeleton-and-Seal.

5. Unpartisan.com Political News and Blog Aggregator Says:
   February 4th, 2008 at 8:11 pm

   Senate Delays Action on Its $157 Billion Stimulus Bill…

   Senate Democratic leaders yesterday put off an expected showdown over an economic stimulus plan unt…

6. Nigel Says:
   February 5th, 2008 at 12:05 am

   My gosh…would somebody PLEASE give Maria Shriver a sandwich?