If the glaciers were melting as fast as Oscar ratings, I would be worried about the environment:

Following the lowest-rated Emmys since 1990, the strike-hindered ratings performance of a severely truncated version of the Golden Globes and a nonstruck airing of the Grammys that nonetheless disappointed, Sunday night’s presentation of the 80th Annual Academy Awards on ABC hit an all-time ratings low.

According to overnight fast national ratings, the awards averaged a 10.7 rating among adults 18 to 49 and was seen by 32 million viewers. In the demo, that’s down a sharp 24% from last year and the lowest on record. Among viewers, that’s a 20% drop. The previous all-time low was in 2003.

Man-made Oscar Cooling threatens Hollyweird but you can help, dear readers. For your convenience, all future bills for Internet Access will provide you the choice to donate money for Oscar offsets.

For just pennies a day, you can ensure that Hate America propaganda (that no one pays to watch) continues to get a little gold statue as our middle finger to you, Redneck America.  That’s right, last night’s documentary winner “Taxi To the Darkside” grossed a staggering $107,000.00 domestic since it’s release in mid-January of this year.

Please give us $10 a ticket not counting $8 for popcorn, $6 for a soda, and $4 for a candy bar to have us tell you how much we hate you.  As we tilt our heads, raise our index fingers to our chin and genuflect to the sky as to why people don’t watch our movies anymore.

Posted by Brian @ 7:38 pm
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1. [...] Brian of Six Meat Buffet- “If the glaciers were melting as fast as Oscar ratings, I would be worried about the environment.” [...]

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1. I’m surprised the glitterati didn’t try to give an Oscar to this dog…

   comment by serr8d — Tuesday, February 26, 2008 @ 10:22 am

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2. I can count on one hand the times I’ve been to the movies in the past twenty years, but I still can’t believe the schlock that makes it to the theaters. It’s like these idiot producers wiped their asses with a HD camera.

   comment by sig94 — Wednesday, February 27, 2008 @ 5:12 pm

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