So, your daughter called you out of the blue last week with a frank admission.

Mom, I’m a whorebag.

Quick, someone put on the International House Coffee and twirl your finger around this pearl necklace of wisdom:

Ms. Capalbo (aka “Mom” aka “Carol”) said that she was “shell-shocked” when her daughter called in the middle of last week and told her she had been working as an escort and was now in trouble with the law. She said she was not sure that Ms. Dupré realized who Mr. Spitzer was when he was her client.

“She is a very bright girl who can handle someone like the governor,” Ms. Capalbo said. “But she also is a 22-year-old, not a 32-year-old or a 42-year-old, and she obviously got involved in something much larger than her.”

“She’s a very bright girl who can handle someone like the governor.”

*applause*

Don’t be stupid, dummy.  We can team up like the Keeping Up With The Kardashians on the E! Tee Vee. 

But where Mom falls short, MySpace parts its legs of wisdom:

Advice: Contact an agent, immediately. There are two majors in Beverly Hills, CA. Let the agency haul in the offers and advise you.

Do NOT respond to the press. Your options are legion. Professionals in this area of image exploitation will bid for this opportunity.

Strategize short term and mid term, and then how to pursue your career dream longer term.

Lastly, stash your profits spread among major governmental federal short term bills and notes, to protect your winnings, after tax, from dimunition by the actions of any government ever again. Again, a smart advisor who keeps your assets liquid, allowing you to hold the money power you reap can be found via the agency you hire. Assume no risk on this windfall income; your life has been tough enough.

Best of luck.

Thanks “Ray”. Any old street whore would be lucky to have a john like you.

Posted by Brian @ 9:00 pm
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