Since I cannot get down to the patent office this year, I thought it might be a time to share some of the great inventions I have scrawled.

1. Dye Squirell Dye
Special ammo for the paintball gun that marks squirrels with an eco-safe but permanent dye. Hours of fun tagging the squirrels that loot your birdfeeder! Get to know these little furry-tailed rats by their hue.

2. Apprehensive about entering the rest room with a book or newspaper? Never fear, with Gordon’s Concealable Fanny-Pack, you can cart in the sports section or pulp novel without being detected.

3. Continuing on the bathroom theme – The sink, the flush and the paper towel dispenser all have sensors. In fact every sanitary precaution is taken except for the most important one. How about a bathroom door sensor? After washing your hands do you really have to touch the e-coli laden doornob?

4. Cigarette lighter powered coffee maker. Skip that stop at Dunkin Donuts and perk your brew on your morning commute. NOTE: This idea needs to be fleshed out as there may be some liability issues.

5. Car Sound Effect Machine. Turn your car into a roller coaster! On steep inclines it plays the chain clink-clink-clink sound. Screams will fill your ears as you descend. Perfect for Colorado residents. A full five-minutes of fun until you want to kill the machine with a sledgehammer.

Check out your local Wal-Mart for these soon!

Or not.

This entry was posted on Tuesday, June 10th, 2008 at 4:48 pm and is filed under Cavalcade of Whimsy. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. Both comments and pings are currently closed.