In yet another vulgar display of how our economic and social systems have collapsed and been replaced by the financial Federal Nanny State, President Junior and the layabouts in congress have teamed up to absolve banks and borrowers alike from responsibility for their actions.

I mean, even if you can’t afford something, you deserve it, just merely by existing, don’t you? Well, just call President Junior’s Credit Counseling Services and not only will you pay NOTHING, you may even get MONEY BACK in a stimulus bonus so you can buy cigarettes for your 19 childrens!

And who’s going to foot the bill? Who cares, it’s not you!

Are you tired of harrassing calls
from creditors demanding you do things
like pay your mortgage or live up to other
financial agreements you might have made?

Are you tired of credit card companies calling and demanding that you pay for the goods and services you purchased via their unfair credit terms?

Then call one of President Junior’s Credit Counselors TODAY and get CASH. Cold, wet, hard, stinky cash.

Why should YOU have to do things like live
according to what you earn? Why should you
pay attention to confusing terms like interest rates,
down payments and credit agreements?
Those are probably just big words that
somebody made up anyway.
You DESERVE the big house, the big car and the
big plasma screen whether you’ve got a job or not.

Hell, I don’t live on a budget, and neither should you.
God bless America’s bottomless Federal Treasury.
Thank you and goodnight.

I’m Wesley Snipes and I approve this message.

Gee, thanks Mr. President.
I wasn’t interested in having a financial future anyway.

Nigel of This Goes to 11 graced us with his presence as he worked his way up the Eastern Seaboard. The evening consisted of dinner, lovely conversations and a screening of The Onion Movie. Though Nigel was unimpressed,
(with the film, and not dinner I hope) I think I broke two ribs from laughing.

Nigel is a real gentleman, a mensch and a guy I would let near my kids (if only for a minute).

More excitement here.

Check out this new site dedicated to finding Conservative Republicans. Yes, there is such a thing. Seems like a great place to track the national races and the running of the RINOs.

(sirloin tip: DoublePlusUndead)

This prayer has been reviewed by my handlers and submitted to several newspapers in advance to show what a spiritual guy I am:

In response (to calls for a boycott), a Ma’ariv spokesman said that “Barack Obama’s note was approved for publication in the international media even before he put in the Kotel, a short time after he wrote it at the King David Hotel in Jerusalem. In any case, since Obama is not a Jew, publishing the note does not constitute an infringement on his right to privacy.”

Obama’s campaign has neither confirmed nor denied whether the prayer published by Ma’ariv was in fact written by Obama. A campaign spokesman, however, made clear that the campaign hadn’t approved the publication of any kind of prayer note.

That’s what you call a non-denial denial.  The world is getting a good look at the Obamanable Snowjob on this one.  Floating a contrived prayer to the media before defiling a religious site for political gain.  If he was any lower, he’d fall into some of the underground tunnels his Palestinian friends use to smuggle weapons into the country.

Another outlet says they received his “prayer” in advance too:

Yediot Aharonot, the country’s most popular daily, published an article Friday saying it had also obtained the note but decided not to publish it, to respect Obama’s privacy. Other Israeli media outlets initially ignored the story, or picked it up only after the initial publication had triggered a controversy.

[...]

However, it now appears that Maariv had collaborated with the Obama campaign in getting the “private” prayer, with its “modest” supplicaton to the Lord, out to the public, buffing his Christian credentials and showing his “humility.”

In the spirit of such affronts to decency, I’m providing a “clean” copy (or as clean as you can get for this nasty little affair) of King David Hotel stationary for you to tell us what The Obamessiah really prays for.

I’ll kick us off:

Build-Your-Own-Blasphemy and submit to b.mcmurphy-*at*-yahoo*.*com  (just right click, “save as”, and enter whatever message to god you wouldn’t mind publishing in an international newspaper)

Click to embiggen

and then lie like a cheap rug.

Badanov uncovers the mysterious, jew-hating Cult of Allan:

Trotting another rotten chestnut out of the archives for you – another installment of the CrankyClassics™ Revenge of the Stupid Lyrics. Previous episode here.

This was originally published in 2005, which is like 26 blog years, so some of the links may not work.

One of the reasons for this blog is so that I have a forum to disgorge 38 years worth of pet peeves. Music is a veritable goldmine. Some songs qualify because they became peeveworthy when seen through the lenses of a (slightly) more matured me. Others have always bothered me.

Remember, you are here voluntarily. This is America after all. So let’s begin, shall we?

And not in a good way.

Michele tipped me off to the story earlier this morning, but I’m only now catching up with the entire thing.

From news reports, it sounds like this insane bastard Jim Adkisson had a chip on his shoulder about Christianity and picked a church at which to express his rage.

While some area blogs immediately tried to frame this as some kind of anti-gay hate crime, there is no evidence to back that up, especially given the comments from Adkisson’s neighbors. In fact, one has to wonder if the unbalanced psychopath just picked a church at random, or picked a church where he knew the odds of resistance would be low. If he’d picked Uncle’s church, he would likely be decomposing instead of being fed at the Knox County Jail by area taxpayers.

All we know at this point is that there were a lot of heroes at that Church this morning – foremost Greg McKendry, who took the first shot when he put himself between the gunman and the rest of the congregation – and the rest of the people who tackled the scumbag while he tried to reload. This same course of action would have saved lives at Virginia Tech last year.

Keep these folks and especially the kids who had to witness this in your prayers.

Now, in the world of Six Meat justice, this shooter would be chained to a tree in the woods, then have his legs shot up with his own shotgun. Then, before he had time to bleed to death, he would be consumed by a mix of fire ants and intentionally starved dogs, for good measure. Instead, we’ll have years of hearing his sob stories and delayed proceedings and trial lawyer bilge explaining his actions away. It’s the new American way.

On a semi-un-related note, this has provided some societal misfits with another opportunity to lash out (again) at the gun nuts. Good for you, anti-soldier.

UPDATE: Looks like these guys may have been right after all.

Apparently this guy hated gays and liberals as much as he hated Christianity. Who knew one person had so much time to hate? Then again, he is unemployed, so he did have too much time on his hands.

Michele has an interesting take on hate crimes and the like – read the whole thing.

Live From Londonistan:

Tom Brokaw: President Obama, you’ve shocked the globe.   In the past week, world leaders have gobbled your balls and asked for seconds.  You’re a giant on the world stage and have been compared with the saviour of mankind.

Does this surprise you?

Sen. Obama: Quite frankly no, Tom.  You’ve tasted my balls and their creamy goodness is self-evident.

Brokaw: Right you are, sir.  Though omniscient, have you learned anything through your travels to the Middle East, France, Germany, and England?

Obama: Um, nothing I didn’t know already.  We still need to gather allies to fight the Tally Ban and apply pressure to Pocky Stan.  Nor can we underscore the “Sunni Awakening” that has conveniently given our nation’s enlisted war criminals an opportunity to leave Iraq gracefully or be thrown out.

Brokaw: Good point your highness.  John McCain has said that he is not going to vote for you.  Should the streets flow with the blood of the non-believers?

Obama: There are many seats on My Father’s Bus, Tom.  You can either grab a seat on the bus or get thrown under it.

Brokaw: That’s how I remember my Sunday school lessons.

(visibly shaken)

My Liege, s-s-some of my *cough* staffers…

(yells to the back of the studio) – Can somebody get me some water for His sake?!?  (Returns to the table)

Some of my current staffers want me to ask you about your “Sunni Awakening” comments and whether you believe they won Iraq or U.S. soldiers are actually….

Obama: Let me stop you right there, Tim.

Brokaw: Tom.

Obama: I am an agent of Hope and Change.  You may have also noticed that I’m black.

Brokaw: [...]

Brokaw: Afghanistan.  You have claimed this to be the biggest front in the War on Terrorism yet you visited it for the first time this week.  If this is so important, why haven’t you gone before?

Obama: Regardless of my physical manifestation, I have been there Tim.  When you only saw one set of footprints in the sands of Kandahar, it was then that I carried you.

Brokaw: You’ve said that Pakistan needs to…

Obama: Pocky Stan.

Brokaw: Yes, Pakistan needs to allocate more of the military resources the U.S. has donated to…

Obama: Pocky Stan.

Brokaw: That Pocky Stan needs to focus more on engaging Tally Ban freedom fighters in the mountainous regions than preparing for a build-up against India.  How can we do this when polls indicate 50% of Pocky Stanis are sympathetic to the cause of al Qaeda.

Obama: Ted, listen.  John McCain just wants to distract us from The Real Issues ™ and continue the same old miserable failings of the Bush Doctrine.  And when I accept my party’s nomination on the anniversary of Martin Luther King, Jr.’s “I Have A Dream Speech” everyone is going to realize that the game has changed.

From Poughkeepsie to Pocky Stan.  From Alameda County to Afghanistan.  My eyes have seen the glory of the coming of The Me.

Brokaw: Let’s talk second bananas.

Obama: No.

Brokaw: Very well then.  Thank you for entertaining some of the rudest questions that I never would have asked on my own.  They made me do it, Mr. President.  Please forgive me.

Obama: Thanks for having me, Todd.

S&L posits an interesting proposition but unless there’s a coup at the RNC convention we can still expect the Pompous Pilate Pope of Hope to square off against the Aging Arizonan.

Still, I can dream of a day where John Bolton conveys his executive middle finger to the White House press corp the way he does to Obambi’s Innocents Abroad speech:

Perhaps Obama needs a remedial course in Cold War history, but the Berlin Wall most certainly did not come down because “the world stood as one.” The wall fell because of a decades-long, existential struggle against one of the greatest totalitarian ideologies mankind has ever faced. It was a struggle in which strong and determined U.S. leadership was constantly questioned, both in Europe and by substantial segments of the senator’s own Democratic Party.

C-Span re-aired The Greatest Speech To The Largest Audience In History (each speech greater than the last) this morning and I must say that Amy Winehouse would do well to be as substance free as your typical Obama speech.  The idea that the Berlin Wall fell because the world grabbed a Coke and defeated Communism with a rousing chorus of “I’d Like To Teach The World To Sing” in our collective native tongues is beyond preposterous.  But it’s what he says.  Speeches as vacuous as lyrics to a U2 hit and the sunglasses to boot.

Bono Diplomacy may “raise awareness” but to date it hasn’t solved a single problem save moving a few ipods.

The successes Obama refers to in his speech — the defeat of Nazism, the Berlin airlift and the collapse of communism — were all gained by strong alliances defeating determined opponents of freedom, not by “one-worldism.” Although the senator was trying to distinguish himself from perceptions of Bush administration policy within the Atlantic Alliance, he was in fact sketching out a post-alliance policy, perhaps one that would unfold in global organizations such as the United Nations.

Seeing as how the UN is going to be run by African tinpots and the usual kleptocracy of one-world appointees for the foreseeable future, good luck with that whole “never again” Darfur thingy.  You think those soldiers can tell the difference between the Janjaweed militia and civilians anymore than you can tell a Shia from a Sunni?  You think that’s a compelling US interest to expend blood and treasure?

Maybe it is.  Maybe it isn’t.  But you certainly can’t make that case if Iraq didn’t meet the criteria.

Here’s a real-life “Dreams of My Father” in today’s Financial Times.  This is the reality of what The One-Worlders accomplish when One World foolishly relies on them.  If the US had gotten involved there, they would be trying to indict our representatives in the Hague instead of the true purveyors of genocide.

Can a Bolton/Burge ticket save us?  I think I found my write-in.

An apathetic liberal media yawns.  Why come you working with somebody named “White”?

• Allegedly “….berated and attacked (investigators) as they tried to serve a subpoena to a friend.” One investigator says that the mayor “grabbed him and threw him into (a) fellow investigator …..”
• That investigator, Brian White, “testified he had X-rays taken at a hospital and might have suffered a slight hip fracture.”
• Was ordered by a judge “to pay $7,500 and undergo random drug testing.”
• Though he is the mayor of Michigan’s largest city, is still “no longer permitted any personal travel outside Michigan. He also cannot travel on business outside the state without the court’s approval.”
• Tried to shame a black investigator for working with a white colleague, saying that “You should be ashamed of yourself. Why are you a part of this?” and “You shouldn’t even be riding in a car with a guy named White.”

Of course, Kwame Kilpatrick has a storied history of getting his reparations back one crooked contractor at a time.  It just happens the two officers were serving a subpoena on one of his most favorite at the time.  A friend who pled guilty to pistol whipping an employee several years ago and leaving him with brain damage.   A friend who is currently out on pre-trial for DUI.

I’m sure this is not the man he knew.  But who is Bobby Ferguson?

But what can we say about the city that keeps electing this man?  You get what you deserve.  Detroit’s version of Barack Obama with an eating disorder.

No party mention either, natch.

Well, the virulently anti-American German media has spoken:

Anyone who saw Barack Obama at Berlin’s Siegessäule on Thursday could recognize that this man will become the 44th president of the United States. He is more than ambitious — he wants to lay claim to become the president of the world.

Is that what Americans are wanting to elect?  Never say “politics ends at the water’s edge” anymore.  An ostensibly American candidate for President campaigning overseas is nauseating.  Pandering to the people who made the worst parts of the last century possible.

Europe is witnessing the 44th president of the United States during this trip. [...]

Let’s allow ourselves to be warmed today, by this man at the Victory Column. Then we’ll take a further look.

Gerhard Spörl is the chief editor of DER SPIEGEL’s foreign desk.

Yes, let’s “be warmed today”.  Tonight the hot sex – tomorrow the AIDS test.

Nothing resonates with the foreign media like apologizing for us being a bunch of fuck-ups who mean well.

Yea, we suck but we try dammit.

Yea, our history is one of never quite living up to our creed but one of these days….

Don’t call him or Hobama bitter though.

A taxpayer funded Benetton campaign ad culminating in ditching a visit to US forces stationed in Germany.

Obama has “cancelled a planned short visit to the Rammstein and Landstuhl U.S. military bases in the southwest German state of Rhineland-Palatinate. The visits were planned for Friday.”

“Barack Obama will not be coming to us,” a spokesperson for the U.S. military hospital in Landstuhl told Der Spiegel. “I don’t know why.”

Updated – no visit because he would not be allowed to use it for a campaign stop.

Wouldn’t want to ruin the post-coital glow with a fawning European press corp that makes their US counterparts look like militant Birchers.

Count yourselves lucky, troops.  The only way Obama could have gone out on a higher note would have been if he rolled a live grenade into your barracks and raised the UN flag over your base.

Or just the flu?

I know I feel sick after watching it.

Alaska is entering a period of political upheaval. The long time incumbent, Republican Ted Stevens is trailing the Democratic challenger, Mark Benich. Stevens, who has served since 1968, is vulnerable due to his corrupt practices in office and his buffoonish antics in the earmark arena.

David Cuddy is seeking the Senate nomination with the hope of keeping Alaska a red state and restoring credibility to the Republican party.

Six Meat Buffet had the opportunity to interview with Cuddy. Read on:
(more…)

Fred Sanford ain’t got nothing on Easy John Edwards though.

Now go send cancer-stricken Honey Bunny out there to sling all your muck so you can hide behind her skirt while pump and dumping the office secretary and leaving John Jr. to struggle in The Worse of the Two Americas:

Vice Presidential candidate Sen. John Edwards was caught visiting his mistress and secret love child at 2:40 this morning in a Los Angeles hotel by the NATIONAL ENQUIRER.

The married ex-senator from North Carolina – whose wife Elizabeth continues to battle cancer — met with his mistress, blonde divorcée Rielle Hunter, at the Beverly Hilton on Monday night, July 21 – and the NATIONAL ENQUIRER was there! He didn’t leave until early the next morning.

So long VP slot.

Stay classy, Big J.

As The Corner notes, The Enquirer broke the Limbaugh-Oxycontin story.

As far as credibility goes between the MSM and the high priest of tabloids, I find Man-Made Global Climate Change about as realistic as Bat-Boy.  The only difference is nobody has every tried to sell me Bat-Boy credits before.

Musical tickets?  Maybe.

Last year local ABC blogger Adam Kleinheider and his former co-worker got themselves into a little hot water after comparing U.S. soldiers in Iraq and Afghanistan to mafia hitmen.   Local radio talker Steve Gill picked up on the story and statewide humiliation ensued.   Channel 2 eventually felt the heat and decided to pull the plug on their blogging adventure that, though able to generate controversy, rarely brought reward.

Turn the page. It’s a year later and Kleinheider has since been rehired by the Nashville Post to do essentially the same job.  Though the mast has changed, the smears remain the same:

First, You Get The Money, Then You Get The Power, Then You Can Commit The Genocide
By Kleinheider Posted on July 21, 2008 at 4:50 pm

[...]

Bush and Blair’s crimes against humanity in Iraq and Afghanistan dwarf, at least in the number of deaths and displaced persons, the terrible situation in Darfur. The highest estimate of Darfur casualties is 400,000, one-third the number of Iraqis who have died as a result of Bush’s invasion. Moreover, the conflict in the Sudan is an internal one, whereas Bush illegally invaded two foreign countries—war crimes under the Nuremberg Standard.

As a testament to the once respectable Nashville Post’s complete lack of  readership, Kleinheider will most likely get a free pass on his endorsement of the crackpot, blatantly false, and defamatory comments by former Reagan official Paul Craig Roberts who has parlayed that mantle into being a “paleo” lackey for Antiwar.com and Counterpunch.

The pattern still fits.  Referencing “Scarface” to compare the US military under genocidal orders from their war criminal leaders to gangsters and Nazis (that’s who was prosecuted at Nuremberg, right?).  Intentionally lying about the legality of US intervention in removing the Taliban in Afghanistan and absolving the Congress who approved going to war in Iraq and continues funding it to the fullest.  Exaggerating the Iraqi death toll and laying every murder committed by al Qaeda in Iraq, Iranian backed insurgents, and Baathist holdouts at the doorstep of American soldiers.

If the Nashville Post had any standards they would retract that post.  The Post used to be the one last outlet that I gave any credit to as far as straight reporting.  However, they’ve sought to continue financially watering the weed of Kleinheider’s existence given his history of completely out-of-bounds comments.

The Nashville Post gets dropped from my feed reader this morning.  You knew what he was when you picked him up.

Didja know there is a PR campaign for Islam kicking off in New York City?

According to Robert Spencer:

This can mean only one thing for us vigilant keepers of the torch of liberty.

Photoshops!

From Snappedshot

And of course, my contribution…

Embiggen

After years of publishing Maureen Dowd, Paul Krugman, Frank Rich, Bob Herbert, and our nation’s military secrets, the world is agog that The New York Times suddenly developed standards for what could appear on their editorial page.

I believe I speak for everyone when I ask, “when did this happen?”

Continuing with CrankyClassics™, here is Revenge of the Stupid Lyrics III.

This was originally published on the passing of Johnny Ramone back in 2004.

This Very Special edition of Revenge Of The Stupid Lyrics is dedicated to Johnny Ramone.

Out of respect for this conservative rocker, I will avoid the usual sneering. (Don’t get used to it.)

Artist	Song
The Ramones	I Wanna Be Sedated
Twenty-twenty-twenty four hours to go I wanna be sedated Nothin’ to do and no where to go-o-oh I wanna be sedated Just get me to the airport put me on a plane Hurry hurry hurry before I go insane
The powerful simplicity of these lyrics combined with the powerful simplicity of the melody are evocative of William Blake’s The Tyger. Tyger, Tyger, burning bright In the forests of the night, What immortal hand or eye Could frame thy fearful symmetry? In what distant deeps or skies Burnt the fire of thine eyes? On what wings dare he aspire? What the hand dare seize the fire? In both cases, pure Art
The Beatles	Taxman
Let me tell you how it will be There’s one for you, nineteen for me ‘Cause I’m the taxman, yeah, I’m the taxman Should five per cent appear too small Be thankful I don’t take it all ‘Cause I’m the taxman, yeah I’m the taxman
For George Harrison, it wasn’t all sitars and Krishna. No, beneath that mop top was a brain that knew the harsh side of a 95% tax rate. He also put together the first rock charity concert (for Bangladesh).
Neil Young	Let’s Roll
No time for indecision we got to make a move I hope that were forgiven for what we got to do How this all got started I’ll never understand Hope someone can fly this thing and get us back to land Time is runnin out. lets roll Time is runnin out. lets roll No one has the answer but one thing is true You got to turn on evil when it’s coming after you You gotta face it down and when it tries to hide We gotta go in after it and never be denied Time is runnin out. lets roll Lets roll for freedom Lets roll for love Going after satan on the wings of a dove Lets roll for justice Lets roll for truth Lets not let our children grow up fearful in their youth
This song was written about Flight 93. This was the highjacked flight that crashed in rural Pennsylvania when the passengers attempted to retake control. Their sacrifice quite possibly prevented hundreds of other deaths and the destruction of the Capitol building. Neil Young’s tribute was not only moving, but was the most clear-headed statement I’ve ever heard from a rock musician. It was a shame that he still lent his music to Michael Moore’s steaming pile of crap, Farenheit 9-11. Well, I like his music anyway, politics notwithstanding. He also does charity concerts for the Bridge School to benefit children with severe speech and physical impairments
The Eagles	Get Over It
You say you haven’t been the same since you had your little crash But you might feel better if I gave you some cash The more I think about it, Old Billy was right Let’s kill all the lawyers, kill ‘em tonight You don’t want to work, you want to live like a king But the big, bad world doesn’t owe you a thing … You drag it around like a ball and chain You wallow in the guilt; you wallow in the pain You wave it like a flag, you wear it like a crown Got your mind in the gutter, bringin’ everybody down Complain about the present and blame it on the past I’d like to find your inner child and kick its little ass
If that doesn’t sound like fingernails on a chalkboard to every identity politician and victim’s group, I don’t know what would. What a beautiful anthem to personal responsibility! It shouts from the mountaintop, “Take responsibility, stop whining and blame yourself for spilling that coffee on your fat thighs fer cryin’ out loud!” Besides, he says “ass.”

So Obama’s World Tour will enjoy having roadies provided from the Big Threee networks. Carrying water is just the start of it.

Bono was quoted as saying “what the fook?”

Of course you’ve heard already heard of the exasperation raised from the McCain camp and the Rightosphere.

A ratio of 60:40 coverage would be media bias, but 70:30 is an embarassingly slobber-imbued imbalance.

In related news, Michelle Malkin announced a t-shirt contest. Here’s my entry:

UPDATE:
We made finalists! Thank you Michelle and Kudos to you for your discerning tastes.

Via Stop the ACLU, we learn that the Democrats plan in helping with your pain at the pump.

Who says that Congress can’t accomplish anything?

As Ed Morrissey at Hot Air points out, there may be another way to get the money needed for highway construction projects:

As always, you can make yourself sick to the stomach by looking at that Citizens Against Government Waste’s Earmark database.

Not being a C-Span devotee, I have not seen much of the behind-the-scenes work congressional committees perform.

Very enlightening.

Buffet-friend Pookie has a great roundup of P-Shops and cartoons.

The New Yorker cover kerfluffle gets appropriate and hilarious treatment.

No, the drive to drill is like an obese man getting some food. He’ll go on a diet when he’s good and ready.

Moron.

The article is actually rather positive.

In other news, Hot Air reports that:

Ten years to productivity?

Develop efficient alternatives to oil, but drill goshdarnit!

(sirloin tip, Dave in Texas @ Ace)

The real suprise? It isn’t me.

The salary amount was the giveaway.

None of the news sources I’ve read will verify whether or not Jesus Humberto Canales has a green card, but I’m going to make an unfair assumption here and see how the fuzzy dice land on this one. If you happen to see Jesus driving around in his bronze minivan, do humanity a favor and shoot him on sight.

One thing is certain, whenever they do find Canales, John McShame and B. Hussein Obama will both be first there to beg for his vote and offer Amnesty.

UPDATE: Well, my hunch was right. “Chuy” the mom-stabber is from El Salvador. And he’s looking for some Meth. Which means that he could be on his way to East Tennessee.

Brown pride indeed. Nice ink, scumbag.

That’s nothing that these women can’t fix.

I know it’s helped my outlook this afternoon.