Revenge of the Stupid Lyrics II
July 14th, 2008 at 2:00 pm by CrankyAs part of a continuing series of Summer Reruns, I present to you Revenge of the Stupid Lyrics II. This was originally posted at the now defunct CrankyNeocon and is only available at the discount bin at Wal-Mart.
This edition of ROTSL is dedicated to Alice Cooper for this kick a$$ quote.
If you’re listening to a rock star in order to get your information on who to vote for, you’re a bigger moron than they are. Why are we rock stars? Because we’re morons. We sleep all day, we play music at night and very rarely do we sit around reading the Washington Journal.”
| Artist | Song |
| The Police | Walking In Your Footsteps |
| Hey there mighty brontosaurus
Don’t you have a message for us. You thought your rule would always last There were no lessons in your past. You were built three stories high They say you would not hurt a fly If we explode the atom bomb, Would they say that we were dumb. |
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“If we explode the atom bomb,” A little background for you who might have been too young to remember the Eighties. We were taught to fear Reagan’s plan to annihilate us in nuclear hellfire. Think Bush and his plan to worsen terrorism until we live in Nazi Germany and you get the idea. During the nineties, we caught a reprive and only feared our president catching a nasty venerial disease. “Would they say that we were dumb.” Gawd, what a tortured reach for a rhyme with such little umph. All life extinct and the planet uninhabitable for roughly 300,000 years? Man, that’s just dumb. |
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| Rush | Manhattan Project |
| Imagine a time
When it all began in the dying days of a war A weapon — that would settle the score … Imagine a place Where it all began They gathered from across the land To work in the secrecy of the desert sand All of the brightest boys To play with the biggest toys – |
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| Rush. Why history should never be put to music. Which is more important, facts or keeping the meter and rhythm? “A weapon — that would settle the score” Yes, the nuclear bomb. The great score-settler. You sunk my battleship. There goes Nagasaki! Gotcha last! “All of the brightest boys” “To play with the biggest toys ” And as always, the keen insights that fit on bumperstickers. Boys and their toys. |
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| The Guess Who | Share The Land |
| Maybe I’ll be there to shake your hand
Maybe I’ll be there to share the land That they’ll be giving away When we all live together |
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“That they’ll be giving away” Question: Who the Hell this they that will be giving the land away. To the Guess Who and an entire generation it was some patriarchal figure like Jerry Garcia in his “touch of gray” stage with huge gut and tons of free love. In actuality, it looked a whole lot like Chairman Mao and there was some mass death involved. Why can’t the friggin’ world get the picture. Marx’ vision always ends as Stalin’s nightmare. |
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| The Five Man Electrical Band | Signs |
| And the sign said “anybody caught trespassing would be shot on sight”
So I jumped on the fence and I yelled at the house “Hey, what gives you the right? To put up a fence to keep me out or to keep mother nature in If God was here, he’d tell it to your face man, you’re some kind of sinner” |
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“Hey, what gives you the right?” “To put up a fence to keep me out or to keep mother nature in” What is with 70s rock’s strange fascination with property rights? “If God was here, he’d tell it to your face” “man, you’re some kind of sinner” You know, I checked the Book and sorry, no mention of fences being wrong. However, I may need to repent of filling your a$$ with buckshot. |
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July 14th, 2008 at 3:55 pm
Hey farmer farmer put away that DDT now,
Give me spots on my apples,
But leave me the birds and the bees
Please.
Okay Joni. I think 34 million African children dead of mosquito borne illnesses since 1972, might disagree with you.
You know DDT is for the eradication of mosquitos and the deadly diseases they carry not for the prevention of apple spotting.
But this is why I’m not such a good lyricist anymore. Here’s how my verse would go:
Hey Farmer Farmer
Bring back that DDT now
We can argue over its health affects to the bird population and whether it causes cancer
But until we find a better thing lets save the little babies in Africa and South America
Please.
Just doesn’t have the groove.
July 14th, 2008 at 3:58 pm
Whoops. I forgot to add the next line.
Don’t it always seem to go that you don’t know what you got til it’s gone?
In the case of this controversial insecticide, yes.
July 14th, 2008 at 4:16 pm
Just want to pack that whole bit of smug into a Yellow Taxicab, eh?
July 14th, 2008 at 6:43 pm
yep.
July 14th, 2008 at 10:12 pm
Most of these lyrics were written by people under the influence of controlled substances. In addition to that, they were so totally self absorbed that their overall view of the world was from looking out of their own assh*le.
Best of all, they wrote this trite in the earnest belief that they could change the word. They failed….
July 14th, 2008 at 10:44 pm
Staying on topic: 80′s
Anyone remember this little ode to Tipper Gore, former Czarina of the “Parents Music Resource Council (PMRC)”?!
Ramones – Censorshit
Hey, hey Tipper, what’s that sticker sticking on my CD?
Is that some kind of warning to protect me?
Freedom of choice needs a stronger, stronger voice.
You can stamp out the source, but you
can’t stop creative thoughts.
Ah, Tipper come on, ain’t you been getting it on?
Ask Ozzie, Zappa or me.
We’ll show you what it’s like to be free.
Ah, Tipper come on, it’s just a smoke
screen for the real problems.
S&L deficit, the homeless, the environment.
Hey, hey all you senators wives.
Better take a good look at your
own lives.
Before you go preaching to me.
You’re definitions of obscenity.
Ah, Tipper come on, ain’t you been getting it on?
Ask Ozzie, Zappa or me.
We’ll show you what it’s like to be free.
The irony it semes it seems to me
it’s un-American policy.
Yeah, we’ve come so far but still only to
find people like you with ignorant minds.
Ah, Tipper come on, ain’t you been getting it on?
Ask Ozzie, Zappa or me.
We’ll show you what it’s like to be free.
Ah, Tipper come on, it’s just a smoke
screen for the real problems.
S&L deficit, the homeless, the environment
July 15th, 2008 at 1:58 am
OK, so the topic of stupid lyrics is posted again, and then Preston posts Boogie Oogie Oogie right above it.
What the hell?
July 15th, 2008 at 7:46 am
Yid, regarding Tipper; do you mean to say that the Dems were shoving their morality down our throat and … wait for it … advocating censorship?
Well said TBird. As the great Neil Young recently concluded, music can’t change the world.
July 15th, 2008 at 8:16 am
Hey, man. Don’t slag on Rush. Just sayin’ is all. . .
July 15th, 2008 at 10:01 am
Geddy, you know I love you. I would like to re-iterate to our reader(s) that qualifying for RoTSL doesn’t mean we don’t like the music or even the band.
Think John Cusask – Great movies, crappy politics.
July 15th, 2008 at 11:07 am
Yes. I like Joni Mitchell. One of my favorite lyrics:
We are stardust,
We are golden,
We are billion year old carbon,
And we’ve got to get ourselves back to the garden.
July 15th, 2008 at 12:14 pm
Nice lyrics, but IMO, better sung by CSN.
Oh, and Nigel? We are thinking of changing the name of this blog to something like “The Music Vault”. I can’t put my finger on it, but something like that.
July 15th, 2008 at 10:39 pm
And classic things like this piece of crap post are why Cranky is one of my favorite bloggers!
As for Preston…
July 16th, 2008 at 2:41 pm
Thanks Digger! I think.
You might be the sole reader who remembers the original.
July 16th, 2008 at 8:46 pm
Gordon, you know someone ought to do a blog like that…
Hey Michele, maybe we could resurrect that and give Gordon a log-in…maybe he can drive some Six Meat traffic over there…