Revenge of the Stupid Lyrics IV
July 28th, 2008 at 2:00 pm by CrankyTrotting another rotten chestnut out of the archives for you – another installment of the CrankyClassics™ Revenge of the Stupid Lyrics. Previous episode here.
This was originally published in 2005, which is like 26 blog years, so some of the links may not work.
One of the reasons for this blog is so that I have a forum to disgorge 38 years worth of pet peeves. Music is a veritable goldmine. Some songs qualify because they became peeveworthy when seen through the lenses of a (slightly) more matured me. Others have always bothered me.
Remember, you are here voluntarily. This is America after all. So let’s begin, shall we?
| Artist | Song |
| Led Zeppelin | Ramble On |
| Mine’s a tale that can’t be told, My freedom I hold dear; How years ago in days of old When magic filled the air, T’was in the darkest depths of Mordor I met a girl so fair, But Gollum, and the Evil One crept up And slipped away with her. Her, her….yea. |
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| I love cake. I love carrots. But what freakin’ moron decided to put carrots in cake? How bored or depraved do you have to be to say to yourself, “you know, that cake is just sitting there, what do you think would happen if I put carrots in it?”
My point? Glad you asked. Led Zep is enjoyable and Tolkien’s works are phenominal. But together, forget it. Too bad Robert Plant wasn’t into Suess, eh? Yuck p.s. Johnny Walker Red of Right on Red beat me to the Hobbit/Zep issue. But this one has been bothering me for years. |
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| Eddy Grant | Electric Avenue |
| we’re gonna rock down to Electric Avenue . . . Who is to blame in what country? Never can get to the one. Dealing in multiplication and they still can’t feed everyone. |
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| Sorry kids, no education until world hunger is eradicated.
By the way, if I heard the lyric “and then we’ll take it higher” as “and then we’ll take your tires” does that make me racist? |
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| Georges Bizet | Carmen |
| CHORUS (soldiers) But, we don’t see little Carmen! There she is! There’s Carmencita! Carmen! At your feet, we are pressing – all of us! Carmen, be sweet, at least answer us, and tell us on what day you will love us! CARMEN |
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| Just lovely. Sleazy, horny soldiers haranguing the cigarette girls. Such a dim view on the preciousness of love could only come from the French.
Robbo, do you let your kids listen to this crap? |
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| U2 | Bullet The Blue Sky(Rattle And Hum version) |
| And I feel a long way from the hills of San Salvador Where the sky is ripped open And the rain pours through a gaping wound Pelting the women and children Pelting the women and children Run, run Into the arms Of America |
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| So you feel “a long way from the hills of San Salvador?” Maybe it’s because you’re in a huge arena outside of Scottsdale Arizona.
Bono, now that I’m down $120.00 what with paying to come and see you, do you think maybe you could throw a couple of bucks to your Sandinista friends to get a new roof? Of all the activist rockers, I like Bono the most. He strikes me as sincere. |
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| Cheap Trick | Didn’t I See You Crying ( I Want You To Want Me) |
| I want you to want me I need you to need me I’d love you to love me I’m begging you to beg me |
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| Actually, I have no gripe against this song. But I need to mention that every time I hear this song, I think about those screaming 14 year old Japanese girls at Buddokan.
They must be, like 45 years old by now. Do they ever look back and get embarassed or tell their kids, “hey do you hear that screech? That was me!” |
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July 28th, 2008 at 11:52 pm
Darn it…I heard a song on that Satellite Radio I had this weekend in the rental car, and I thought to myself, “these lyrics are so darn stupid that I MUST let Cranky know the next time he goes with a “stupid lyrics” post.
But now I’ve gone and forgotten the song.
Oh well…cruise over to my place when you get a chance and see which 70′s tune I WAS subjected to this weekend.
And try not to trip on the fire I took for making an admittedly insensitive comment on Michele’s Knoxville Shootings post.
August 8th, 2008 at 1:24 am
This post would make a lot more sense if carrot cake wasn’t so fucking tasty.