Aging Chameleowhore Files For Divorce On Grounds of Brutal Honesty
October 18th, 2008 at 12:42 am by BrianSure. She’s going to kick Sarah Palin’s ass. Pick on somebody your own age, Granny:
Madonna is building an extraordinary divorce case against Guy Ritchie, claiming he was a cruel and verbally-abusive husband who would belittle and ridicule her in front of others.
Riiiight. This is coming from someone who made a career of prancing around on stage in bondage and sado-masochistic outfits for over a quarter of a century.
Lawyers for the singer, who was widely believed to be the dominant partner in the marriage, are putting together a dossier of incidents.
They include allegations that he told her she ‘looked like a granny’ on stage compared with her younger backing dancers. He is also alleged to have declared that she could not act, and was ‘past it’ after she turned 50.
Naaaw, honey. When your worldwide tour is being sponsored by Metamucil and Ocean Spray Cranberry Juice you are still hotter than those flashes you got when you went through menopause in the early 90s. The proof is in the tapioca pudding.
I’m not saying Madonna looks old. It’s just the ADA accessible ramp to her sex swing that makes her look old belies her mature sensuality.
But he “alleged to have declared that she could not act”. He did? I think she’s confusing him with Robert Ebert who said of “Body of Evidence”:
The movie stars Madonna, who after “Bloodhounds of Broadway,” “Shanghai Surprise” and “Who’s That Girl?” now nails down her title as the queen of movies that were bad ideas right from the beginning. She plays a kinky dominatrix involved in ingenious and hazardous sex with an aging millionaire who has a bad heart.
Life imitating art I say. Or maybe it was when the New York Times reviewed Shanghai Surprise:
THE nicest thing about ”Shanghai Surprise,” the widely publicized washout starring Madonna and Sean Penn, is that you can watch it in near-total privacy.
Ahh..Mrs. Madonna Ciccone-Spicoli-Ritchie, we wish we hardly knew ye – if I may speak in Olde English through a megaphone so that you could hear me.
Good luck with the divorce, Guy. Go ahead and buy a metal detector so you can dig up the millions she buried underneath the house in mason jars like she did after the Great Depression.
October 18th, 2008 at 12:56 am
This was so richly satisfying and funny. I find it so queer that she pouts that Guy Ritchie was mean to her since she has made a whole career out of this invincible persona.
Bah.
October 18th, 2008 at 9:28 am
I was wanting to write something on this for the last few days but haven’t had time. It’s a good thing I didn’t bother because it would have sucked next to this.
October 18th, 2008 at 11:10 pm
I don’t think she went through menopause in the early ’90s, because I believe she’s had a kid since then, though baby boomers are refusing to get old and all. Anyway, I’m older than Madonna, so I guess it’s a good thing I started yoga magic a lot earlier than she did.