Breaking up is hard to do.  Just ask Olga Kurylenko.  She wanted to get out from under the yoke of an abusive relationship.  But some people won’t take no for an answer.

Especially when your native country needs a restraining order taken out against it:

A Russian communist group has attacked the newest Bond girl, Olga Kurylenko, for her “moral and intellectual betrayal” in starring in a film about the “enemy of the Soviet people.”

[...]

“In the name of all communists we appeal to you, Olga Kurylenko, wanton daughter of unclean Ukraine and deserter of the Slavic world. The Soviet Union educated you, cared for you, and brought you up for free, but no one suspected that you would commit this act of intellectual and moral betrayal,” the St. Petersburg-based KPLO group’s statement read, going on to call James Bond “the killer of hundreds of Soviet people and their allies.”

For a second I couldn’t tell if she betrayed the Soviet people or the Obama campaign.  Come on, comrades.  Spread the wealth as you’re wont to do.

Besides, James Bond only killed commies in the movies.  In real life, to have that many commies killed Bond would have had a statue in his honor in Gori or at least the East Village in New York.

“Your peers are engaged in struggles against NATO and you lounge around on the Cote d’Azur. How could you desert your homeland in its moment of need? Do you really want Crimean girls to be raped by cruel and stupid American marines?” the statement also read.

Those Crimean girls were begging for it on their hands and knees.

The former Soviet Union is the Joe Dirt of the world with its formerly formidable mullet flapping in the breeze.

But you just wait, girl.  When we get that Hemi fixed you’re gonna be sorry.  They’re all gonna be sorry.

First off, I’m afraid we need to have intervention.

I’m going to suggest NATO.

We can’t stand to see you being hurting like this baby.

You can do so much better.

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