Diminutive titular figurehead Dmitry Medvedev of the newly reconstituted Soviet Union sparked international envy this week as he beat President-El…President Elect O-…..sheesh. I just can’t say it yet.
He represents the Lollipop Kids, the Lollipop Kids, the Lollipop Kids…
Anyway. Pootey-poot’s Howdy Doody sparked international envy this week as he pre-emptively stole Barry Soetoro’s dream of visiting Cuba and Venezuela to undermine U.S. influence in the Caribbean. Quoteth the Obama – “Hey now, that’s my job”:
Russian President Dmitry Medvedev’s visits to Venezuela and Cuba during a week-long trip to Latin America look set to irk Washington, highlighting a foreign policy challenge facing President-elect Barack Obama.
His trip to Venezuela, a key buyer of Russian arms, coincides with the two countries’ first joint naval exercise in the Caribbean — traditionally viewed by the United States as its backyard.
What would it have taken to keep Medvedev from fulfilling his mission to Latin America? Turning our backs on missile defense for Poland and the Ukraine? Ignore Russia’s imperialist invasion of Georgia? A sustained diplomatic effort from future Secretary of State Hillary to nag Medvedev until he cheated on his wife with a portly Slav intern named Olga and forced to resign in disgrace after a prolonged impeachment battle?
I’m guessing we could have just put a child safety gate around the 23rd parallel. It is our backyard after all and good fences do make good neighbors. Ours just happened to be made by Evenflo. If Mexicans were as small as Medvedev, we could get a fence along our Southern border and qualify for Free Super Saver on orders of $25 or more.
In related news, Prime Minister President-for-Life Putin tried to quell fears that the Russian mob is not able to control the financial crisis as he ripped off his shirt like he was the main event and Wrestlemania XXV and barechestedly snatched a salmon out of the river with his teeth for a fawning government-run press:
“We will do everything, everything in our power … so that the collapses of the past years should never be repeated in our country. We will do everything in our power to defend the deposits of our citizens in banks,” he said.
But he continued, “If we have to kill all the journalists, confiscate all foreign investment, invade our neighbors, sell nuclear weapons to rogue dictators, poison our enemies, spark a nuclear war…like I said, everything in our power.”
Everyone is not so sure of Vlad’s ability to turn Russia’s Lada of an economy into a Lexus:
James Fenkner, managing director of Moscow-based investment fund Red Star Asset Management, said he believed Putin was unrealistic on protecting the rouble.
“They’re bleeding reserves trying to support the currency,” Fenkner told Reuters. “They have to move that exchange rate.”
Tomorrow’s news today – Mr. James Fenker will die from natural causes associated with falling down an open elevator shaft and multiple gunshot wounds to the back of his head within the next few hours. Now who’s reserves are bleeding, Mr. Know-It-All Capitalist Running Dog?