Once upon a time collecting hummels, Precious Moments dolls, and faberge eggs used to be all the Certificate of Authenticity you needed to grant you involuntary incarceration to a padded cell of your legal guardian’s choosing.

But for those who’ve never soared the heights of the hummelian, the passport from your emotional ghetto is just a phone call and $19.95 away.  You never thought it would happen but it did.

And, if I’m paraphrasing Reverend Wright correctly, there’s not a g*dd@mned thing you can do about it.

“His confident smile and kind eyes are an inspiration to us all.”

Kind of like when a butterfly lands on a retarded kid’s head.

Yes, the Barack Obama Commemorative plate.   You can’t own slaves anymore but don’t let anyone tell you that you can’t own a piece of Barack Obama.

Historic Victory Plate™ is a treasured collectible work of art that can be proudly  displayed on shelves, table tops or can be hung on a wall.

I’m pretty sure even hanging a picture of Barack Obama on a wall would be considered a hate crime in Kentucky.  Let’s say we just prop him up in the china hutch lest the mantle by the fireplace remind us too much of Mississippi Burning.

Included with your plate is a bonus display stand and Certificate of Authenticity from the American Historic Society promises you’ll own a collectible of the highest quality and integrity.

Indeed.  I don’t think I’ve ever seen a plate with so much integrity on it before.  Just for the psychological warfare factor, the entire current generation of kids should be forced to eat their vegetables off of Obama’s gravy visage.  They’ll learn to overcome that broccoli and that there ain’t no cauliflower high enough.

Don’t tell me you can’t eat those vegetables, Timmy.  Yes, you can.  And you’re not getting up from this table until you do.

I have a dream that one day red beans and yellow squash, white kidney beans and black-eyed peas can rest comfortably against each other in public without worrying about what society thinks.   Thank god almighty - free at last.

And if that doesn’t work out, come April 15th it’s going to make a handy offering tray.

Posted by Brian @ 2:07 am
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1. [...] Brian at Six Meat Buffet posts on an insufferable Barack Obama Commemorative Plate: The “Historic Victory Plate™ is a treasured collectible work of art that can be proudly displayed on shelves, table tops or can be hung on a wall.“ [...]

   Pingback by Tennesseefree.com » “Change you can relieve in.” — Saturday, November 22, 2008 8:47 am | permalink

   
   

2. [...] Brian at Six Meat Buffet posts on an insufferable Barack Obama Commemorative Plate: The “Historic Victory Plate™ is a treasured collectible work of art that can be proudly displayed on shelves, table tops or can be hung on a wall.“ [...]

   Pingback by "Change you can relieve in." — Saturday, November 22, 2008 8:51 am | permalink

   
   

:: Comments ::

1. I just threw up in my mouth.

   comment by Purple Raider — Friday, November 21, 2008 @ 3:45 am

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2. As with the real Obama, it looks like you won’t get what you paid for…..

   http://wiki.answers.com/Q/Where_is_the_american_historic_society

   comment by FreakyBoy — Friday, November 21, 2008 @ 12:17 pm

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3. Bmac, please find out for me if I can get a discount by buying in bulk. I just got my shotgun reconditioned and these would be perfect for use at the skeet range.

   comment by Preston Taylor Holmes — Friday, November 21, 2008 @ 1:15 pm

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4. Something tells me that using these plates as sporting clays might be a federal issue. Just sayin’. But good idea.

   comment by michele — Friday, November 21, 2008 @ 2:12 pm

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5. I ordered one so I can use it as a base plate for my chamber pot.

   comment by Yiddish Steel — Friday, November 21, 2008 @ 2:52 pm

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6. All good ideas. This post was too long as it is but that commercial is offensive on so many levels that someone else may want to take a stab at it.

   The Victory Plate(tm) is in actuality being sold as a talisman to insulate the owner from charges that they’re a white bread, milquetoast bigot.

   I say go with the Barack Obama urinal cakes. That’s change you can relieve in.

   comment by Brian — Friday, November 21, 2008 @ 3:47 pm

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7. “Change you can Relieve In”.

   (Not safe if you’ve a weak stomach.. )

   comment by serr8d — Saturday, November 22, 2008 @ 8:19 am

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8. This is neither here nor there (or perhaps it is…hell, I’m tired)…but I actually have a portrait of Bill Clinton in my home.

   It hangs above the toilet in my bathroom.

   I shit you not.

   comment by Nigel — Saturday, November 22, 2008 @ 12:59 pm

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9. I’d love to have one of those plates to put one of my patented post-Thanksgiving steamers on. I could take a picture of it and offer it up as art. Maybe I could get a sponsorship from the NEA.

   comment by Mike Oxlong — Saturday, November 22, 2008 @ 8:57 pm

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10. I could have used that plate last week when I brought a flower arrangement home from the funeral home. I can think of nothing better to set a pot of funeral flowers on.

    That plate reminds me of something that happened more than 20 years ago. I got into a, uh, tiff with one of my neighbors after her wild, unneutered cat scratched my little girl. I trapped the cat and took it to the animal shelter. Next thing I know, the cat is back and I am getting daily deliveries and bills for stuff like collector’s plates and replicas of the Eiffel Tower that I hadn’t ordered.

    comment by Donna Locke — Saturday, November 22, 2008 @ 11:08 pm

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11. I think it makes a great target clay…

    comment by Rumbler — Monday, November 24, 2008 @ 11:57 am

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12. I bought one. I served pizza rolls on it last week. But FYI, not microwave safe.

    comment by joh — Thursday, November 27, 2008 @ 10:19 pm

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