Gov. Rod Blagojevich and his perpetually pottymouth princess went about their bribery and expletive-laced business today as the State of Illinois applauded his strong union work ethic despite naysayers demanding he take paid double-time OT (with comp time) off.

Gov. Blagojevich:  “I didn’t f^@*#!*% quit when Je$$e Junior only offered me $500,000 and I ain’t gonna quit now on the 16 percent of the people that still believes in me,” an incredulous and difficult to pronounce Blagojevich explained. “Aint’ that right, Patty?”

Patricia Blagojevich:  “$^@#*&#@!”

Gov. Blagojevich:  “That’s my girl.   So go ahead and tape my conversations.  Cause I dont’ give a f^@#.   These  f^@*#!*% distractions from the tired old m@%^#*f^@*#!*% politics of the past are not what’s important to the undocumented f^@*#!*%  busting their tails at one of our many troubled screen door factories.  All they want to f^@*#!*% know is that they ain’t got no problems and that I’m on the m@%^#*f^@*#!*% !

“Now if you’ll excuse me, me and the little lady gots some f^@*#!% hard g*dd@*##d works to do for da peoples of Illinois.”

Mrs. Blagojevich: “Now get off my m@%^#*f^@*#!*% stoop you inky-pawed sh!tferrbrained….*slam!*

When reached for comment President-elect Obama blasphemed his own omnipotence by testifying that Gov. Blagojevich was never like this during the many years they rubbed scented oils on each other and smoked Newports highjacked off a mid-town truck in the cholera infested hottub of Chicago politics.

This entry was posted on Thursday, December 11th, 2008 at 7:52 pm and is filed under Cavalcade of Whimsy. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. Both comments and pings are currently closed.