Former Democrat Vice-Presidential Candidate John McCain was welcomed back to the floor of the Senate yesterday after his failed 18-month campaign to sell his tripe-filled electoral tamales to the same conservatives he had been using as piñatas.

The entire incident was infuriatingly documented by The Hill and boasts almost as many anonymous sources as it does memorable quotes:

Sen. John McCain (R-Ariz.) (D-MX), fresh off his disappointing bid for the White House, returned to a familiar role in the Senate on Wednesday, shaking up his own party and reaching across the aisle to Democrats.

[...]

“I am tickled pink to be here on stage with him,” said Democratic Sen. Claire McCaskill (Mo.).

Kind words from one of Obama’s campaign chairs who accused him of running a non-stop bigoted campaign just three months ago.  I’ve missed you too my forked tongue, love.  Now, whisper sweet nadas in my ear.

“He talked about his own race and the devastating loss of Hispanic voters and how that arose on the rhetoric on immigration,” said a Senate Republican who attended the meeting.

A Republican senator who attended the meeting said that McCain emphasized the importance of healing the rift with Hispanics by talking about immigration reform in a “positive” way. McCain also discussed the importance of expanding the size of the party’s tent by appealing to young voters.

“So we’re not just the party of graying white men,” said the lawmaker.

It’s almost like he reads directly from the New York Times op-ed page that endorsed him, isn’t it?  Apparently graying white men have a thing for old grey ladies.

There is no expanding on a base made up of illegals from a Republican perspective because you will never be able to out-pander Democrats in terms of the size of your handout.  Whatever you offer, they’ll double it!  If you double that, they’ll quadruple it.

You’re taking a broad group of people who have so screwed up their own country by the socialists that they’ve elected that they have to sneak out, like thieves in the night, into ours.

And you think you’re going to win them over using the mantle of limited government and individual responsibility?  Even if you could you are always only one election away from bribing them again.  If you want to win votes by using racial identity politics then go ahead.  Just switch sides before you do.

All the kids are doing it.

At the all-day, private GOP meeting at the Library of Congress, McCain told colleagues their poor image among Hispanics, which he attributed to bitter intra-party squabbles over immigration reform, dealt his campaign a devastating blow.

He’s exactly right for the wrong reason.  The devastating blow wasn’t from illegal aliens not illegally voting for him but rather because people on the Right correctly knew that his corazon belonged and still belongs to another.  We know a mentirosa when we see one, vato.

Vaya con dias, Senor McCain.  Don’t let la puerta hit ya where the buen Dios split ya.

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