Inauguration Excitement
January 14th, 2009 at 10:20 am by Preston Taylor HolmesThis one is a little too easy. Which direction do I go? Lowest common denominator? Go the blasphemous route? Why not do both?
A George Washington University law professor says the 5,000 port-o-potties planned for Inauguration Day will be “grossly inadequate.”
Estimates are that 5 million worshippers will only have 5,000 crappers upon which to squat and make little democrats. This should not be a problem for the Obamessiah, who once fed a crowd of 3,500 Acorn workers with a single bucket of KFC original recipe and an 8-pack of Little Kings™.
He says women, who take longer in the restroom, could be forced to wait in longer lines than men, and that amounts to discrimination.
Banzhaf says waiting in long lines is not just an inconvenience. It can trigger medical problems. He’s asking the Presidential Inaugural Committee to make the toilets gender-neutral so that women do not have to wait longer than men.
This seems like a needless worry as well. With the high number of trannies in the crowd, you would have expected the port-o-crappers to have been gender-neutral from the start. After all, what is gender anyway? It’s just a narrow-minded social construct forced upon us by the oppressive patriarchy and their goon-squad of jack-booted traditionalists.
My primary concern for the folks there at the inauguration is the abnormally high volume of fecal matter that will be in need of disposal. At every POTUS inauguration you have a great number of people who are completely full of it. This may be the worst year yet, though, as you have a President-elect™ that is completely full of shit, who will be surrounded by a gaggle of lying sycophants who are almost as full as he is. To make matters even worse, there will be millions of idol worshippers in the crowd who have shit-for-brains.
I think even 5 million port-o-potties will be too few. Good luck to that crowd.
On a semi-related note, there will be no strollers allowed at the inauguration site.
To assist with this particular problem, Planned Parenthood is rumored to be offering deep discounts on late-term/post-birth abortions so that all those single mothers won’t have to worry about dragging their little punishments around at the inauguration or anywhere else, for that matter. Kudos to them!
January 14th, 2009 at 10:43 am
No problem staying above the fecaled masses P-Diddy. Their Unicorn has wings and poops pink heart marshmallows, blue diamonds, green shamrocks, and frosted oats. Their cereal toilet bowl of hope overfloweth.
January 14th, 2009 at 1:58 pm
So many people. So few resources provided by the government. Sounds to me like they’re getting what they want.
January 14th, 2009 at 4:00 pm
Is Banzhaf having a laugh at the Obots, or is he serious?
January 15th, 2009 at 4:58 am
yooz 6MB folks are all over this historiKating stuff and it is absolutely kickin’ to behold and stuff. i haven’t seen any news commenTORATing and BEEN brave/silly enough to go down into the boW-WELz of this magnificent EVENT and cover its many hup’s and down’s… like a yo-yo, yo. good on ya 6MB. i’m actually feeling a bit sorry for the suckaz attending the single greatest moment in history…
January 15th, 2009 at 11:56 pm
“Estimates are that 5 million worshippers will only have 5,000 crappers upon which to squat and make little democrats.”
I hate to admit it but I laughed at that. Giggled like a little school girl.
OK, hate is a bit strong. Let’s see. The word I was looking for was… was more like… glad.
January 16th, 2009 at 9:53 am
“He says women, who take longer in the restroom”
Banzhaf is a biased pig! How dare he make such a gender un-neutral statement.
January 16th, 2009 at 2:00 pm
Well, if you can’t be there in person, you can buy this piece of wonderful art in celebration of the New Age of Obama.
http://tinyurl.com/7mo3a6
Heck, the artist usually paints his subjects with pancakes on their foreheads… so what can you expect…