High, I’m Michael Phelps.  You may remember me as that guy who did that sports thing a while back.  I also did some commercials and some pot.

You don’t remember?   It’s ok.  I know what you mean.  I don’t remember it all either.  It was kind of a big deal for like a week.   And a lot of hard work.

But life’s not all butterflies and breaststrokes unless you happen to be one of those net guys who chases the butterflies or maybe a mammogram machine.  Sometimes, you just need to unwind.

That’s when I get – Rosetta Stoned.

Thanks to Rosetta Stoned I can negotiate in Spanish, measure using the metric system, smell in Indonesian, and see in Chinese.  In the water, I use my zero percent body fat and eight-pack abs to swim like a dolphin.  But Rosetta Stoned is all I ever needed to bake like a clam.

It’s  been around for a long time too.  Don’t just take my word for it.

President O'Bonger

I have Muslim members of my family. I have lived in Muslim countries.  The largest one, Indonesia. To be honest, I don’t even really like Americans.

Can we edit that last line out? Okay.

And so what I want to communicate is the fact that in all my travels throughout the Muslim world, what I’ve come to understand is that regardless of your faith — and America is a country of Muslims, Jews, Christians, non-believers (in that order) — regardless of your faith, we can all get Rosetta Stoned.

So whether you’re breaking bread with the guy with the parrot on his shoulder who’s bogarting all the gas or breaking buds with your brother in Kenya, don’t forget that Rosetta Stoned is breaking down barriers one bowl at a time.

Thanks for your endorsement Mr. President.

Another satisfied Rosetta Stoned customer.

This entry was posted on Tuesday, February 3rd, 2009 at 10:00 pm and is filed under Cavalcade of Whimsy, Sports, The Obamessiah. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. Both comments and pings are currently closed.