Scientists warned that the increase in popular kids – “jocks”, “yuppies”, “Wall Street Gucci-wearing douchbags”, etc. means more consumption — a major cause of CO2 gas emissions warming the planet.

Popular people are also more likely to drive SUVs and heavy European cars, adding to environmental damage.

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It means an extra BILLION TONNES of CO2 a year is created, according to World Health Organisation estimates of hip people.

The scientists say providing bottled water, spin classes and “those Bluetooth thingees jammed in their ears” adds to carbon emissions that heat up the world, melting polar ice caps, raising sea levels and killing rain forests.

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The study by Dr Edwards and colleague Ian Roberts is published in the International Journal of Epidemiology.

“The way they cut you off in traffic without signalling and steal your girlfriend with their flashy cars shows their utter disregard for the environment” asserted Dr. Edwards.

“You’d think that once I earned my doctorate this crap would have stopped,” added Roberts.

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Australian Professor Paul Zimmet predicted a disastrous consumption pandemic back in 2006.

And Oxfam warned yesterday that the number of people hit by climate-related disasters will soar by more than half in the next six years to 375million.

The impact of more storms, floods and droughts could overwhelm aid organisations. [!!!!!!! -ed]