Dear President Oprompta,

Please find it in your soft, liberal head to extend the same adulation towards the people who kept this country safe through a sophisticated system of yoga and excessive hydration as you would to your new buddies in the reconstituted Soviet Union:

THE hunt for a nest of female suicide bombers in Chechnya led an elite group of Russian special forces commandos to a small village deep in the countryside.

[...]

The soldiers were responding to a tip-off that the eldest of the three, who was in her forties, had been indoctrinating women to sacrifice themselves in Chechnya’s ferocious war between Islamic militants and the Russians. The others captured with her were her latest recruits. One was barely 15.

“At first the older one denied everything,” said a senior special forces officer last week. “Then we roughed her up and gave her electric shocks. She provided us with good information. Once we were done with her we shot her in the head.

“We disposed of her body in a field. We placed an artillery shell between her legs and one over her chest, added several 200-gram TNT blocks and blew her to smithereens. The trick is to make sure absolutely nothing is left. No body, no proof, no problem.” The technique was known as pulverisation.

The young recruits were taken away by another unit for further interrogation before they, too, were executed.

Where’s the Soviet Abu Ghraib again? That’s right.  Everyone’s identity is sealed.  Everyone is protected.  No photos are ever released.  There is no mass self-immolation on the world stage whose only benefit is to enrage and recruit more terrorists.  But wait, there’s more:

The men, decorated veterans of more than 40 tours of duty in Chechnya, said not only suspected rebels but also people close to them were systematically tracked, abducted, tortured and killed. Intelligence was often extracted by breaking their limbs with a hammer, administering electric shocks and forcing men to perform sexual acts on each other. The bodies were either buried in unmarked pits or pulverised.

Far from being the work of a few ruthless mavericks, such methods were widely used among special forces, the men said. They were backed by their superiors …

Such is the benefit of one party rule.  From what I’ve gathered, this is the plan to deal with America’s right-wing extremists prior to the next election with Mistress Napilatino, Head Heifer of Homeland Security, wielding the cattle prod.  Er, um, I mean “safety prod”.  Either that or hogtied with the Lasso of Truth that dangles so imposingly on the hip of her mooseknuckled Wonder Woman underoos.

It was in this highly charged climate that the death squads were operating. Andrei recalled that his men had detained a suspect who had several videos of militants torturing Russian hostages. One showed him laughing as his comrades raped a 12-year-old girl and then shot off three of her fingers.

“We all went berserk after watching this,” said Andrei, who had begun to beat the suspect. “He fell to the ground. I ordered him to get up but he couldn’t because of his handcuffs. I ordered the cuffs off but something was wrong with the lock. I became angrier and ordered one of my sergeants to get them off no matter what.

“So he took an axe and chopped his arms off. The prisoner screamed in agony. Clearly it would have been impossible to interrogate him further so I shot him in the head.” (ed. – Clearly)

Andrei said he thought of his opponents not as human beings but as cockroaches to be squashed. He was unapologetic about acts of cruelty but said he did not condone excessive boasting among his men.

“I had a problem with one of my guys, who liked to collect ears which had been chopped off prisoners. He’d made a necklace and was very serious about taking this home. I did not like that kind of behaviour.”

Well, you’ve got to draw the line somewhere I guess.  Unfortunately for America’s soldiers, our media is allowed to manufacture stories about such atrocities and Obama has a problem with American interrogators who agonize at great length as to which neck brace is appropriate when pushing someone against the wall or how deftly they can pull off Rick James’ “what did the five fingers say the face” joke.

However, Oprompta has no problems draping himself over Moscow’s Bolshevik Butchers like a cheap coat.  Does it warrant a comment?  A condemnation?  Cries for prosecutions and recriminations from the UN?

(Photo by Dominique Faget / AFP / Getty Images)

Our prisoners aren’t dying in custody.  Our methods have them alive years after fruitful information was extracted and now the masochist Mengeles of the Democratic Party want to hook the jumper cables deemed too harsh for terrorists to the balls of the previous administration for the crime of keeping this country safe enough for you to destroy it from the inside 8 years later.

Just do us a favor you traitors, treat Bush officials with the same respect you treat your Soviet icons.

Update: Another US Marine spills his guts on a tale of his fellow soldiers torturing their captives.  It’s almost like they developed Stockholm Syndrome after a while.  Frightening stuff.

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