Stupid Teenager Falls Into Manhole, Lawsuit at 11
July 11th, 2009 at 12:48 pm by Preston Taylor HolmesShe is the perfect spokestwit for a generation of its-not-my-fault don’t-do-it-yourself kids.
Texting teen falls into manhole while – um – texting. Looks like we need a Manhole Cover Czar, Barry.
Note, super journalist Dave Carlin excuses the little dimwit right off the bat. If you’re watching where you’re going, it’s not an accident waiting to happen. But hey, I’m old fashioned that way.
She said the manhole she fell in to was left open and unattended with no warning signs or orange cones. She said two workers with the New York City Department of Environmental Protection failed to secure the area as they prepared to flush the sewer.
“It was just really gross and it was shocking and scary,” she said. “Because of their careless mistake I got hurt.”
Because of THEIR carelessness, she got hurt. Umhmmmmmmm.
“Regardless of whether I’m texting or not if there was a cone there I’m gong to see a big orange cone,” she said. “I walk that sidewalk every day, I don’t expect a big hole there.”
Minor quibble there for the victim. Almost not relevant to the story, really.
Alexa lost one of her sneakers in the sewer. She does not want it back.
The girl’s mother said Alexa will see more doctors next week to get an MRI and check for damage to her spine.
Most elderly people and mothers pushing strollers actually have a lick of sense, Alexa. You, on the other hand, better cash in on this now, because when you’re waiting tables at a New Jersey gentleman’s club in your older years, you’ll need a nice nest egg to fall back on.
July 11th, 2009 at 1:00 pm
Greetings:
My favorite manhole story:
Back in the ’70s, I was working in the social service industry for the State of New York. At that time, our leaders had discovered the joys of “gender neutral” language and had implemented a training seminar for all their employees. At the appointed time and place, we all met with our office manager to receive our enlightenment, but, alas, the woman who was to conduct the training was tardy. Initially, our manager decided to make use of the time by giving us his take on the issue. After two minutes of droning, he, semi-exasperated, asked if anyone knew where the trainer was.
Lenny, our office wit, answered, “Maybe she fell down a person-hole.”
July 11th, 2009 at 1:38 pm
Ahhh-haah-haah!… You beat me to this one, Holmes! This is my favorite story of the morning. Any modern tales of Idiocracy just make me smile and chuckle with disgust.
July 11th, 2009 at 1:41 pm
Oh… And of course, her nim-rod parents are going to sue everyone they can about this. Too bad this happened in a Blue State; it reduces the chances that a Judge with common sense will get to hear any claims regarding this and sentence all Plaintiffs involved to 6 blows to the body with the Clue Bat.
July 13th, 2009 at 1:54 am
Ya know what? She is an idiot. But she’s also a teenager and teenagers are known to do idiotic things. On the other hand, the city is negligent if they left an open manhole cover. Truth is, anyone could be distracted at the wrong time. Hell, I could be checking some ass, like Obama the other day, and BOOM, down the hole.
Maybe she’ll get enough money so she can be a whore for the next governor.
July 13th, 2009 at 7:06 am
Truedat, Shayne. But you learn as a wee tyke to actually watch where you’re going, so there is reason for lampoonery and limited damages. She shouldn’t need a whole lot of money to eventually have a Client #9 if she turns out to be worth a buck or three. If it had been a heteromale checking out a trunk with much junk, that would be excusable because it is a natural biological reaction, in which case the city would be 100% at fault.
July 14th, 2009 at 4:52 pm
All I know is, I’m interested to see there is now at least one scenario where you’ll defend a government organization, and a “Department of Environmental Protection” at that…