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Archive for September, 2009

Polanski Fistfights Kubrick To Direct and Star In Lolita

September 29th, 2009 at 10:28 pm by Brian

Kubrick, not being heavily sedated, steps aside and let’s him knock himself out:

The interview originally appeared in Tatler and is collected in Amis’s excellent book Visiting Mrs Nabokov.

Here’s a section of the first quote it contains from Polanski.

“If I had killed somebody, it wouldn’t have had so much appeal to the press, you see? But… f—ing, you see, and the young girls. Judges want to f— young girls. Juries want to f— young girls. Everyone wants to f— young girls!”

I’ve been curious about the absence of the so-called “feminist” bloggers on this one.  Some I’ve read and linked to and still don’t understand how they reconcile what Polanski did with their Permanent Victim Status.

Unless they want to f- young girls too and can sympathize.

Nah, most feminists I’ve met are the portrait of femininity and raging heteros who prowl the night for oppressive rapestick.

Is Obama The First Muslim President?

September 29th, 2009 at 6:33 pm by Brian

As I’ve said before, I don’t believe he is.  Others may feel differently.

His fathers were and he was unarguably schooled in Muslim-only environments early on.  His mother wasn’t.

Obama’s father, raised Muslim in Kenya, was, by the time he met Ann, “a confirmed atheist” who considered religion “mumbo jumbo,” writes Obama in “The Audacity of Hope.”

But by that same token, if you were raised in the U.S. chances are you could just easily say that you were raised in Christian-only environments and still not be a Christian.

For arguments sake, let’s say Obama is a Christian.  Admittedly, he has said that it came to him much later in life thanks to the liberating theologies of one particular Reverend whose name is escaping me at the moment.

Goddamnit I hate it when that happens. I mean “goddamnit” in the sense of “aww, hell I can’t remember who it was” and not in the “not God bless America, Goddamn America” sense colloquially deployed by some in front of children at a church if given to rhetorical, anti-American flourishes.

To me, he is like many others – a Christian of Convenience.  A chameleon who changes colors to blend in with the background of wherever he happened to be.  You aren’t winning any Senate seats in a major metropolitan city running as a proud atheist.  Or as he said:

Was it a conversion in the sense that he heard Jesus speaking to him in a moment after which nothing was the same? No. “It wasn’t an epiphany,” he says. “A bolt of lightning didn’t strike me and suddenly I said, ‘Aha!’ It was a more gradual process that traced back to those times that I had spent in New York wandering the streets or reading books, where I decided that the meaning I found in my life, the values that were most important to me, the sense of wonder that I had, the sense of tragedy that I had—all these things were captured in the Christian story.”

Sure, The Bible’s a good read.  It’s got action.  Drama.  The triumph of the human spirit.  In the greek tragedy sense, the hero suffers and the audience can enjoy watching his suffering because it allows them a form of escapism from their own problems.   But you can find that in every bargain rental bin at Blockbuster.  He did not have a “coming to Jesus” moment because he’s picking and choosing a cafeteria style faith.

I’ll have the eternal salvation, hold the limbo and extra beatitudes, por favor.

There’s a surefire way to determine if the non-churchgoing President is a Christian or not in one easy question if someone would dare to be so bold.  As he has a White House press corps that is available to ask silly questions every day I’m not sure that would ever happen.

Simply ask, “Do you believe that Jesus Christ is the son of God and that he is the way, the light, and that there is no other way to heaven except through Him?”

Any Christian should be able to deftly answer that question.  If you think the way to heaven can be achieved through Allah, Buddha, Stephen Colbert or the Flying Spaghetti Monster’s noodley appendages then you are not a Christian.

Now, as a politician, we can expect one to answer that question but put in a qualifier that they respect the beliefs of others and the Letter to the Danbury Baptists, separation of church and state, blah, blah, blah.  But if you don’t believe that Jesus Christ is the only way to get to heaven then you are not a Christian.  Or as Obama has also said:

“It is a precept of my Christian faith that my redemption comes through Christ, but I am also a big believer in the Golden Rule, which I think is an essential pillar not only of my faith but of my values and my ideals and my experience here on Earth. I’ve said this before, and I know this raises questions in the minds of some evangelicals. I do not believe that my mother, who never formally embraced Christianity as far as I know … I do not believe she went to hell.”

Well, good for you.  That technically answers the question.   Nobody ever wishes their mother went to hell.  Grandmothers may go under the bus but mothers shouldn’t go to hell.  Who doesn’t agree with that?  If you don’t believe you go to hell.  Them’s the rules.

Case closed.  I’m glad we were able to have this discussion.

In The Future Everyone Will Be Racist for 15 Minutes – Part 2

September 29th, 2009 at 9:04 am by Cranky

Another genius of the right shares his dark* secret. Let’s hear from P.J. O’Rourke.

I hadn’t noticed I was a racist, but that was no doubt because I was too busy being a homophobe. Nancy Pelosi says the angry opposition to health care reform is like the angry opposition to gay rights that led to Harvey Milk being shot. Since I do not want America to suffer another Sean Penn movie, I will accept that I’m a homophobe, too. And I’m a male chauvinist due to the fact that I think Nancy Pelosi is blowing smoke–excuse me, carbon neutral, biodegradable airborne particulate matter–out her pantsuit.

Also, I’m pretty sure Rahm Emanuel is Jewish, and you can’t be against (or even for) President Obama without the involvement of Rahm Emanuel, so I’m an anti-Semite.

* Yep, that was a code word for hating the Other too.

(S/T Director Blue)

Chicago Street Animals

September 29th, 2009 at 12:15 am by TinyElvis

This video is beyond disturbing. I am at a total loss for words.

Here is the link to the news story:

Teen Attacked and Beaten

Won’t Someone Think About The Cookies?

September 28th, 2009 at 9:09 pm by Brian

The Hug-A-Dictator Club grows by one. But it’s a good one.

Remember all those gutless liberals who complained to no end about the atrocity in Darfur? The genocide that we let happen. It happened because of us, you know. We sat on our hands and didn’t act. Don’t blame the people who did the actual killings.

Because if you did that, the idea that we’re going over to lay a big, sloppy kiss on them might make you question your blind faith in the Supreme Leader who gives purpose to your otherwise meaningless lives:

Top administration officials are scheduled to meet Tuesday to discuss a major review of the United States’ Sudan policy. But even as that document is being finalized, U.S. diplomacy has remained mostly in the hands of one man, Obama’s special envoy to Sudan, retired Air Force Maj. Gen. Scott Gration, who is pushing for normalizing relations with the only country in the world led by a president indicted for war crimes.

Although Gration describes the approach as pragmatic and driven by a sense of urgency, his critics here and in the United States say it is dangerously, perhaps willfully, naive.

I’m going to stop there. “Dangerously, perhaps willfully naive”. Are you braindead automatons sensing a pattern yet? Does some read error in your programming ever prompt an auto-reset? When you laughed and pointed to Donald Rumsfeld shaking Saddam Hussein’s hand do you ever get a feeling of déjà vu?

During a recent five-day trip to Sudan, Gration heard from southern officials, displaced Darfuris, rebels and others who complained uniformly that he is being manipulated by government officials who talk peace even as they undermine it.

You can’t rape the willing and Maj. Gen Scott Gration is dressed up like Jodie Foster in The Accused. He’s asking for it and he knows that dirty, little Darfur dictators are gonna give it to him. Tramp.

Still, at the end of the visit, Gration maintained a strikingly different perspective. He had seen signs of goodwill from the government of President Omar Hassan al-Bashir, he said, and viewed many of the complaints as understandable yet unfair, knee-jerk reactions to a government he trusts is ready to change.

“We’ve got to think about giving out cookies,” said Gration, who was appointed in March. “Kids, countries, they react to gold stars, smiley faces, handshakes, agreements, talk, engagement.” Gration’s detractors say that his approach is based on a misunderstanding of how Bashir’s ruling party works. John Prendergast, co-chairman of the Enough Project, a human rights group advocating tougher, multi-lateral sanctions against Sudan, said that Bashir’s crowd responds only to pressure. “They do not respond to nice guys coming over and saying we have to be a good guest,” he said. “They eat these people for dinner.”

He’s seriously comparing genocidal murderers to kids misbehaving in 4th period algebra and at the end of the day is cuddling up with one of the worst human rights abusers in the world while talking about “gold stars, smiley faces, and handshakes”.

If they kill another 100,000 people are you going to draw a frowny face on their cover-up report? This has Madeline Halfbright and her stupid broaches written all over it.

Yet another Obamamoron needing to swell the ranks of the unemployed.

I didn’t realize when all of the commies railed against Bush being a war criminal that it was actually a compliment and that they planned on baking him cookies.

What this signifies is the UN-ification of our foreign policy.  After poo-pooing aid workers being denied access and mau-mauing the concerns of the displaced victims, Gration holds out hope that if you just risk your life one more time maybe – just maybe – we can get things right this time:

“Up to now, the efforts I’ve seen, the changes I’ve been observing, make me say ‘Yes, I’m willing to take a risk that I’ll be betrayed’ ” Gration said. “And if that trust is violated, then I believe pressure should come. And it should come hard.”

Tollhouse Terrorism courtesy of the US Government.  I’m sorry, sir.  It still looks half-baked to me.

The Daily Beast To Drop Spellcheck

September 28th, 2009 at 6:49 pm by Brian

I don’t know what this means:

Daily Beast Seeks to Publish Faster

It’s not like their high standards and rigorous layers of fact-checking have been holding them back to this point.

“It’s Gonna Take Everything We Got To Win”

September 28th, 2009 at 5:28 pm by Brian

A White House official unapologetically eschewed doubts that the current administration has plans to abandon the struggle or settle for anything other than a WIN in  our current conflict:

A White House official tells ABC News that “it’s gonna take everything we got” to win.

The official added that the president feels the health care issue is in a place that his absence for a day is not going to have a negative impact. And so he’s taking the red eye on Thursday, arriving Friday morning “to seal the deal.”

Strong.  Bold.  Decisive.  No sacrifice too great.  No burden too much to bear.

What? Going to Afghanistan to talk to Karzai?  Multi-lateral sanctions against Iran? Hmm.    That’s kind of important. Convincing NATO allies to contribute more troops for a surge in Afghanistan?  Ummm, no.

“President Obama and first lady Michelle Obama symbolize the hope, opportunity and inspiration that makes Chicago great (ed. – *cough, cough*), and we are honored to have two of our city’s most accomplished residents leading our delegation in Copenhagen,” Chicago Mayor Richard M. Daley said in a paper statement.

Ladies and gentlemen, this is what is called “fucked up priorities”.

He can’t say we need to win Afghanistan but landing some extra graft in the pockets of his Chicago cronies is the top mission that must be succeed at all costs and demands the personal attention of the Leader of the Free World. And here I was thinking that the symbol of what made Chicago great was Dick Daley’s dad gunning down Democrat protesters in the streets.

Will the last one in America please turn off the low-watt fluorescent light assuming the rolling blackouts don’t take care of that for us?

Rosemary’s Baby Raper

September 28th, 2009 at 5:15 pm by Brian

Updated: Heh.  Polanski’s attorney says he’s in a “fighting mood”.  He may find US prosecutors put up greater resistance than a 13 year old girl on Quaaludes.  And yet, I can’t help but note the irony that he’s the one who’s now playing hard to get.

Can we, perhaps, offer you a drink back at our place?  Or tempt you with the promise of a walk on the beach after slow dancing to some Burt Bacharach?  Nicholson will be there.


I realize moral relativity is the order of the day from the people who demand retribution if a Republican has a consensual, adulterous affair or a consensual homosexual gayfest but somehow if you’re able to say “Action!” and keep a needy actress from losing her “motivation” then you’re excused from drugging and raping 13 year olds:

Let’s keep in mind that Roman Polanski gave a 13-year-old girl a Quaalude and champagne, then raped her, before we start discussing whether the victim looked older than her 13 years, or that she now says she’d rather not see him prosecuted because she can’t stand the media attention. Before we discuss how awesome his movies are or what the now-deceased judge did wrong at his trial, let’s take a moment to recall that according to the victim’s grand jury testimony, Roman Polanski instructed her to get into a jacuzzi naked, refused to take her home when she begged to go, began kissing her even though she said no and asked him to stop; performed cunnilingus on her as she said no and asked him to stop; put his penis in her vagina as she said no and asked him to stop; asked if he could penetrate her anally, to which she replied, “No,” then went ahead and did it anyway, until he had an orgasm.

In other words, another hot night at the TalkLeft house.  Liberals always want an exception carved out for one reason or another.  Replace “Roman Polanski” in this scenario with “Tom Delay”.  After all, he did wow the audience on “Dancing With The Stars”.

Nope, the feminist movement is more than willing to discredit  itself, as if that were somehow possible, by picking up the banner of a child rapist (Free Roman! ed. and Free Greek too if you take the green pill, bitch).

Come for the “France is outraged and so am I“, stay for the eulogy of the most recent Manson Family member to die without having to see their baby’s blood being used to paint the word “Pigs” on the wall.

After killing Tate, according to historical accounts of the slayings, Atkins scrawled the word “pig” in blood on the door of the home Tate shared with her husband, director Roman Polanski.

It’s a two-fer!  Sick twat.

Sad weekend all-around.  Child rapist arrested and a child-killing double murdering, corpse mutilating cult member dies of old age.

Welcome to Obama’s Vichy America.  Please leave any human decency you may have had in the trash dumpster behind the abortion clinic.

Now everyone in unison, “Equal Rights now!  Keep your laws off my body!  No means no!  Fight the Patriarchy!”


Like Lambs To The Slaughter

September 28th, 2009 at 12:58 pm by Brian

Yes, we’ve got priorities.  Briefings on Afghanistan?  Nah.  Another tv spot for socialized medicine that nobody wants?  Nope.  12% national unemployment? Un-uh.  An escalating drug war on our southern border?  *yawn*  Iran getting the bomb?  Give it a rest.

What can I say, it just doesn’t hold my attention.

What we need is to bring the Olympics to my hometown so my constituency can shakedown the world community for the beer contracts at the stadium that will have 500% in cost overruns to build after my union bizzoys “win” the bid.  Flood the zone, people.  This is the most important issue facing our country:

President Barack Obama will travel to Denmark to support Chicago’s bid for the 2016 Summer Olympics, projecting the highest-ever White House profile in lobbying for the international event.

Obama is also mobilizing his administration on behalf of Chicago’s bid. Senior adviser Jarrett, Education Secretary Arne Duncan and Transportation Secretary Ray LaHood, will also be joining the president and first lady in Copenhagen. All are from Illinois.

None dare call it a “culture of corruption”, would they?  Of course, not.  BTW, how many private jets are our carbon-credit loving leaders and their lemmings purchasing for this romp?

Luring all of the international Olympic pigeons into the shooting gallery of America’s murder capital may be a sport all it’s own but it’s also an international incident waiting to happen.

It would be like the old Nintendo game “Duck Hunt” except you’d replace the hunter with any one of the Gangster Disciples and the duck with a Chinese national holding a camera outside of the Cabrini-Green projects.

Fiddling in Denmark while America burns.  The Olympics doesn’t make money it costs money.  This isn’t “spending money to make money” – this is spending money to spend more money.   In other words, a perfect metaphor for this administration.

Let’s just flush ten billion dollars down the toilet now and call it even.  We’ll still come out ahead.

The Good War (Abridged To Nowhere)

September 28th, 2009 at 12:30 pm by Brian

Strong words from Max Boot on der Waffler-In-Chief vis-à-vis The Good War of Necessity That We Are Going To Fight and Win That I’m Currently Thinking We Don’t Need To Win So Much Anymore Because of A Poll I Read Last Week:

Maybe he’s panicking over falling public support for the war, especially among his liberal base. Yet this war remains far more popular than the one in Iraq was in 2006 when President George W. Bush approved the “surge.” If Obama asks for more troops, Congress is unlikely to oppose him.

We can’t let a little thing like Obama abandoning his previously zealous support for expansion of the Afghan front, that was his sole plank to support what a super-intelligent Smart ™ foreign policy badassssss that he was, distract us from the real fight for healthcare for illegal aliens because they paid state sales tax on a six pack of Modelo or dropping the bunker busters on the melanominically-challenged media mujahideen holed  up in the mountainside of Crackerstan.

True to form, the liberals who righteously touted Afghanistan as the Good War and Iraq as The Bad War are channeling their inner-John Paul Joneses.  “We have not yet begun to not fight!” That’s the way that old white man’s saying goes isn’t it?

But they’ll gladly send those red-state morons who  couldn’t get into college and like to kill babies and brown people to die for the cause they said they believed in out of political expediency.

Remember that the next time you see one of their websites support package drives for troops, Valour IT, and the like.   Anyway.  Time’s a wastin’.   That $40 a pound fair trade coffee isn’t going to drink itself.

In The Future, Everyone Will Be Racist for 15 Minutes

September 27th, 2009 at 12:23 pm by Cranky

Here is a pithy and insightful piece from Mark Steyn regarding the racist, knee-jerk reaction to socialized medicine..

“Code language” is code language for “total bollocks.” “Code word” is a code word for “I’m inventing what you really meant to say because the actual quote doesn’t quite do the job for me.” “Small government”? Racist code words! “Non-confiscatory taxes”? Likewise. “Individual liberty”? Don’t even go there! To an incisive NPR racism analyst, the elderly gentleman telling his congressman “I’m very concerned by what I’ve heard about wait times for MRIs in Canada” is really saying “I’m unable to overcome my deep-seated racial anxieties about the sexual prowess of black males, especially now they’re giving prime-time press conferences every night.”


Inside Blogging Hilarity

September 26th, 2009 at 10:02 am by Preston Taylor Holmes

So Glenn Beck boils a frog.

Hippie jazz musician (and anti-creationist blogger) at Little Green Footballs cries himself to sleep after hearing about the outrage during his hourly visit to DimOCrack Underground.

Turns out Glenn Beck was just pretending to be a frog mur-diddly-urdler. Charles is sad. He thought this was the smoking gun he needed.

LGF sidekicks and sycophants are beyond consolation.

This is the kind of thing that can happen when you spend too much time on the computer. Step away from the blog, Kilgore.

BMac here:  I hope you don’t mind PTH.

little green froggers

Netanyahu For President

September 24th, 2009 at 11:36 pm by Brian

What can I say except “wow”.  If only we had a President who gave good speeches in defense of civilization rather than soaring platitudes about group hugs while attacking everything great about our own country and giving legitimacy to the most undemocratic dictatorships across the globe.

Is America ready for a Jewish president yet?  Don’t ask me.  I never thought we were ready for a militant communist but here we are.

Please Help Now

September 23rd, 2009 at 9:26 pm by Cranky

Now is a crucial time for Brian Miller, Republican candidate for Congress.

If you can help him secure the nomination, it would go a long way to helping restore some semblance of conservatism to our party and undo so much of the Obama/Reid/Pelosi spend-a-thon mess.

Click to contribute and get more information.


September 23rd, 2009 at 9:09 pm by Cranky

HotAir posts this incredibly irritating pile of celebrity droppings in support of ObamaCare.

So what do you think of this – would you like to post a video response? Maybe some of you who have a video camera can record a couple soundbites of yourself coming to the aid of hapless celebrities? I’m serious.

Something like:

Something terrible is happening.

Celebrities needs your help.

Will Ferrell needs your help.

That dude from that show needs your help.

Wow, that actress is hot. Maybe I could help.

Turk from Scrubs needs your help.

Every day, ordinary celebrities suffer from the delusion that what they say matters.

Talladega Nights was kind of funny. Maybe I will support the government takeover of x% of the economy.

Wow, that actress is hot, maybe insurance companies do suck.


Watch this video three times; once to get the gist, once to get a sense of what you would tell Will Ferrell and a bunch of near-anonymous celebrities and one more time just to get riled up.

Come on kids, I’m serious! By the end of this weekend, I’ll make you all black and white and put in those choppy shots that seem to be a requirement for ADD stricken celebrities.

Drop a note in the comments or send me (cranky at crankyneocon dot com) an email.

But The World Respects Us Now

September 23rd, 2009 at 8:05 am by Cranky

If by “World” you mean the millions of diverse people across our planet who make paper-mache heads at rallys. Other than that, not so much.

The apology in Cairo sure loosened up the “Islamic republic of Iran”.

According to the Iranian five-page proposal posted on the non-profit, independent ProPublica website, there is no sign of traditional claims by the Islamic Republic of Iran on the past ill-will of the West towards the Iranian regime. The proposal sounds downright conciliatory. [talk about scraping for any sign of hope] Nonetheless, the first reaction from the US was to turn it down.

PJ Crowley, the assistant to the Secretary of State for Public Affairs, called it unresponsive, “… to [the US] the greatest concern, which is obviously Iran’s nuclear program”. It took less then 24 hours for this stance to take a sharp turn.

Crowley soon qualified his statement. “Iran’s lack of interest in addressing its nuclear program is not a reason to refuse to talk,” he told the Associated Press.

Got that? Just because they won’t talk doesn’t mean we cannot talk. You wonder if idealism beats in the heart of the Liberal or if at some level they agree with the whole “Great Satan” stuff. Brown people are so cute with their unique cultural god mythologies.

So, what is the Obama administration to do? I got it, go to the United Nations!

After reviewing Iran’s proposal, Russia’s Foreign Minister Sergei Lavrov made it clear Moscow would not participate in a new round of tough sanctions against Iran. Obama’s high-profile policy towards Iran was shaken when Wu Jianmin, a top foreign policy player in China, also jumped on Lavrov’s bandwagon, leaving the US administration in dismay.

Insisting on new, tougher sanctions without having Russia’s and/or China’s support, is doomed to fail. For example, blocking the import of gasoline to Iran shapes the core of the sanctions policy. However, Russia would be able to supply Iran’s demand via roads and railway, even if there were a naval blockade.

We need to win the Russians over, not because we’re strong (how Patriarchal), but because we’re nice. So let’s apologize to Russia for that whole Cold War thing.

No dice? Dang Vladimir, you drive a tough bargain. But since we’re really both servant’s of the People, how about a goodwill gesture? Like scrapping defensive missiles in Poland and the Czech Republic?

[Obama] added: “If the byproduct of it is that the Russians feel a little less paranoid and are now willing to work more effectively with us to deal with threats like ballistic missiles from Iran or nuclear development in Iran, you know, then that’s a bonus.”

Russia said Saturday that it will scrap a plan to deploy missiles near Poland since Obama dumped the planned missile shield in Eastern Europe.

Russia’s Deputy Defense Minister Vladimir Popovkin said Obama’s move made the deployment of short-range missiles in the Kaliningrad region unnecessary, and he called the U.S. president’s decision a “victory of reason over ambitions.”

Washington is counting on Moscow to help raise pressure on Tehran over its disputed nuclear program, although there are no clear signs that will happen.

My Magic 8 Ball says “Outlook not so good.”

A New “Contract With America”

September 22nd, 2009 at 8:09 am by Cranky

Brian Miller, Congressional candidate from Arizona is staking out some novel positions. Novel if you were too young to remember when Republicans at least payed lip service to conservatism and ethics.

Wouldn’t you want a guy like this representing fiscal and moral responsibility?

Brian Miller, Republican candidate for U.S. Congress in AZ-8, signed the American’s for Tax Reform (ATR) Taxpayer Protection Pledge.

While at the ATR office in Washington D.C. on September 14th, Brian committed to “oppose any and all efforts to increase the marginal income tax rates for individuals and/or businesses … and oppose any net reduction or elimination of deductions and credits, unless matched dollar for dollar by further reducing tax rates.”

ATR has offered the Pledge to all candidates for federal office since 1987. To date, 34 U.S. senators and 172 members of the U.S. House of Representatives have signed the Pledge. Additionally, seven Governors and over 1,100 state legislators have signed the Pledge.

Now let’s do a creative visualization activity. Close your eyes and picture John Murtha, Charlie Rangel, Arlen Specter and Nancy Pelosi. Now open your eyes and think about term limits.

Brian Miller, Republican candidate for U.S. Congress in AZ-8, became the only congressional candidate in southern Arizona this year to make a Term Limit Pledge.

At a fundraising banquet for the UofA College Republicans on Saturday night, Brian included his pledge to serve no more than four terms in the House of Representatives in his speech to the audience gathered at The Manning House in downtown Tucson.

“I take great pride in my reputation – my honor. I will not sacrifice it. But I am humble enough to know that every man has a breaking point and that power corrupts.

To paraphrase the mighty Lennon,
“Imagine there’s no incumbents
It isn’t hard to do
Nothing to kill or die for
And no Pelosi too.

You may say I’m a dreamer, but I’m not the only one. And please support Miller as he is currently swimming upstream against the GOP machine for the nomination. Our GOP still thinks backing RINOs is a winning strategy. (See also Charlie Christ/Marco Rubio).

If It Makes You Feel Any Better I Don’t Like It Either

September 22nd, 2009 at 7:33 am by Brian

When Barack Obama was first introduced to the now famous three-word call to arms that came to define his quest for the presidency — “Yes, we can!” — his initial response could be paraphrased as “No, I won’t!”.

According to a new book, when the slogan was first suggested to him he blanched, because he felt that the phrase was “corny” and “childish”.

Well, you do have to remember who your audience is and “childish” and “corny” are unarguably the better angels of their nature.  Assuming puerile and clichéd aren’t virtues.

Dream up a standoff-ish, three word statement that even a two-year old banging away at it’s high chair with a bowl of spaghetti on it’s head and demanding all the cookies in the jar can understand.

Yes, you did.

And yes, “blanched” is racist.

Another Race-Baiting Matthews

September 21st, 2009 at 3:18 pm by Cranky

No, not Chrissy this time. This time we got the sensitive artist Matthews, Dave.

I know I’m going out on my own here, because so many of my friends love his ballads ‘n’ stuff. His talent is undeniable.

My main gripe with Matthews is how this chucklehead who performs neither Rock nor Alternative is constantly bombarding the Alternative and Regular rock stations with his melancholy strains of love and social insight. Also I’m completely baffled by the women who hear this lyric and say, “I love you Dave!”

Hike up your skirt a little more
And show the world to me

But don’t worry Honey, he also respects you for your intelligence and spirituality.

Usually, I just change the radio station when Matthews is on. But today, we are blessed to have is opinion on the issues.

Pretty standard sensitive rock-star drivel, actually.

CNN: President Carter said he thinks that a lot of the animosity directed toward President Obama is race related.

Dave Matthews: Of course it is! I found there’s a fairly blatant racism in America that’s already there, and I don’t think I noticed it when I lived here as a kid. But when I went back to South Africa, and then it’s sort of thrust in your face, and then came back here — I just see it everywhere. There’s a good population of people in this country that are terrified of the president only because he’s black, even if they don’t say it. And I think a lot of them, behind closed doors, do say it.

Maybe I’m paranoid about it, but I don’t think someone who disagreed as strongly as they do with Obama — if it was Clinton — would have stood up and screamed at him during his speech. (Shakes his head) I don’t think so.

Or maybe the extreme-left agenda that is bringing socialism (and spending) to its greatest level in our history.

I don’t think socialism, and I don’t think warmness and respect are necessarily bad words.

Oh, so you don’t mind the socialism. I mean really, isn’t it just the warm, fuzzy embrace of an all loving government. Yeah, maybe we did blow things out of proportion a bit.

Added Bonus 1 – CNN Tonguebath!!:

Dave Matthews is uniquely qualified to share his thoughts on race because CNN observes:

For more than three hours, the jubilant atmosphere creates a sense of community between an amphitheater filled with strangers and the ethnically diverse musicians leading the charge on stage.

And let’s face it kiddies, if the world was like a giant Grateful Dead concert, we would all live together in harmony and mutual love – at least until the doobage is gone.

Added Bonus 2 – Real Kudos!!

Credit where credit is due and all that:

But then DMB is all about community — creating its own and giving back. BAMA Works Fund — the group’s charitable foundation — has handed out $5 million in grants to worthy causes, including schools and victims of Hurricane Katrina.

I’m guessing though that if we look closely at the cause Matthews funded, we’ll find it went to the New Orleans Prevention of Cannibalism fund.

Can’t Look Or Won’t Look?

September 20th, 2009 at 12:48 pm by Brian

The Slimes brings teh funny:

The story of the spectacular rise and fall of John Edwards, with its sordid can’t-look-away dimensions, is moving slowly but deliberately to its conclusion here in North Carolina.

The “sordid can’t-look-away dimensions” of a scumbag, ambulance-chasing attorney 4 Prez who was cheating on his cancer-riddled wife who he frequently sent out in front of the cameras to defend him from the paper that refused to cover it until it was all but over.

Other than the fact that Elizabeth Edwards knew all along and played the victim card to the hilt, she’s an inspiration to women everywhere who need to learn to shut their mouths.

A Chicken In Every Roost And A Knife In Every Back

September 20th, 2009 at 12:33 pm by Brian

Obama Foreign Diplomacy

It’s a Secretaries of State Gone Wild! week in the world.  Flashing their twin high beams of idiocy and treason to a mainstream press corps dropping ruffies in their own drinks:

Mad Dog, pro-Muslim warmonger Madeline Halfbright to a Russian audience this week:

Madeleine Albright said during the meeting that America no longer had the intention of being the first nation of the world.

Ms. Albright started her speech in Russian. “Hello and thank you! It’s a pleasure for me to be here,” she said in Russian. Albright wrote in her autobiography that she was trying to learn some Russian during the 1960s.

The former US Secretary of State surprised the audience with her speech. She particularly said that democracy was not the perfect system. “It can be contradictory, corrupt and may have security problems,” Albright said.

America has been having hard times recently, Albright said.

“We have been talking about our exceptionalism during the recent eight years. Now, an average American wants to stay at home – they do not need any overseas adventures. We do not need new enemies,” Albright said adding that Beijing, London and Delhi became a serious competition for Washington and New York.

In related news, we eat babies and sob hysterically into our mojitos that we’re not being invited to Libya’s Sweet Sixteen party.  It’s also rumored that Iran said these pants make us look fat.

Your Secretary of State is your ambassador to the world.  Shouldn’t the person filling that job at least think we’re not assholes?

Not to be outdone, Jimmeh Peanut’s former Secretary of Self-Immolation, Zbgnw “Can I Buy A Vowel?” Brzznsk has got his sights fixed on the real terrorist threat facing the world:

DB:  Is the fallout as bad if Israel preemptively strikes Iran?
ZB:  Absolutely. That is the way, more importantly, how the Iranians would view it. They really can’t do much to the Israelis, despite all their bluster. The only thing they can do is unify themselves, especially nationalistically, to rally against us, and the mullahs might even think of it as a blessing.

DB:  How aggressive can Obama be in insisting to the Israelis that a military strike might be in America’s worst interest?
ZB:  We are not exactly impotent little babies. They have to fly over our airspace in Iraq. Are we just going to sit there and watch?

DB:  What if they fly over anyway?
ZB: Well, we have to be serious about denying them that right. That means a denial where you aren’t just saying it. If they fly over, you go up and confront them. They have the choice of turning back or not. No one wishes for this but it could be a Liberty in reverse.

The Enemies of America are running the country right now.  Halfbright and ZBig would be better suited to a one-time only appearance before a firing squad than than a network interviewer.

When the current administration has all options off the table for taking out Iran’s nuclear capabilities and a significant adviser speaks freely about deploying U.S. planes to open fire on the Israelis pre-emptively keeping Iran from getting The Bomb then it’s pretty clear that for the next three years that no Free Peoples can count on the United States for help.  Quite the opposite. They are better off not telling us what they are going to do or at least understand that everything they tell us in confidence is going straight to the enemy.

As Obama hinted this morning, he is preparing to abandon Afghanistan after calling it The War That Must Be Won (starts around 3:50) throughout his campaign and that Iraq was a distraction from it to underscore his foreign policy credentials.  “The Fight That Must Be Finished!”  In retrospect, like with all lawyers, you notice it’s the absence of the words not said.  Like “victory” or “win”.  If you watch this video you’ll see that he’s doing exactly what he said he was going to do which is to destabilize Pokky-stan to get to the Tolly-ban which he is now abandoning.

Everybody do remember this when he decides that he wants to send US soldiers under orders from other nations to Africa as peacekeepers.  And remember when the bombs start going off in the major cities who gave the terrorists an attorney and a settlement check to buy the materials.

Who am I kidding?  This guy’s a genius and deserves maybe six or seven terms.

Football Friday

September 18th, 2009 at 9:37 am by Preston Taylor Holmes

It’s time again for Florida week. Things are not coming up roses in Big Orange Country, primarily due to the jackassery of the previous Vol regime.

First of all, and let’s face it, The Great Pumpkin left the UT football program in a state of disarray with marginal lower-level SEC talent and no discipline. When your best option at QB is Crompton, who, by all accounts is a good kid, you’re just not ready to challenge the Floridas, Alabamas and LSUs of the league. You’re not even ready to challenge the South Carolinas and Ole Misses of the league. Crompton simply can’t get it done and if Stephens can’t beat him out, we’re left with few options. (And shave that ridiculous facial hair, Crompton. You are not a member of N’Sync or NKOTB, no matter how much you fantasize about it.)

However, on the bright side, this coaching staff is taking no prisoners (heh, pun intended) when it comes to recruiting and we are looking at a serious SEC contender when 2011, 2012 roll around. Unfortunately, by then our entire economy and society will have collapsed and we won’t even be playing football, but I digress.

Speaking of the Great Pumpkin, he went down to the Daytona Beach QB club and showed what a classless, narcissistic turd he really is. Apparently he is still “P.O.’d” at what the meanies at UT did to him by giving him 6-freaking-million dollars to just go away. And he can’t even get that done. Look up classless in the dictionary and you’ll find Fulmer.

It was just two years ago that Fulmer, who posted a 152-52 record in 17 seasons as the head Volunteer, was given a contract extension by his alma mater.

Less than 10 months ago he stepped down as Tennessee’s head coach, but not necessarily willingly. UT fans and administration had become restless, and in early November he agreed to step away at the end of the season.

“I’m still PO’d to say the least. There’s probably a couple of people there that I’m not going to invite to Christmas dinner any time soon,” Fulmer said. “I’ve chosen the best I can to take the high road. I really love Tennessee, so let there be no doubt about that. It’s very much a part of me.”

Yeah, he’s chosen to take the high road by hanging around and bitching about how hard it is to decide how to spend that 6-million while sitting on his ass. Is taking the high road taking shots at Kiffin through every possible media outlet and bragging about what “great” shape he left the program in? Me no thinky so.

In fact, just five days before new coach Lane Kiffin brings his Volunteers to “The Swamp,” Fulmer said he could relate with the plight that faces Florida’s Meyer.

“(Meyer’s) doing something that I did,” Fulmer said. “You create something that’s unachievable every year. That’s certainly what he’s done from that point.”

Um, there’s another example of his complete inability to grasp reality. Meyer has dominated the game for the last several years. UT won one national championship – in spite of, not because of – its coaching staff. Al Wilson was the coach of that ’98 team and anyone paying attention understood that.

It’s time for Phil to head off into the sunset – perhaps coaching at New Mexico or even Wyoming, the school he couldn’t beat last year. Let us enjoy the excitement of rebuilding the program that you ran into the ground.

Speaking of the GATA, it’s time to take another look at that brilliant Congresswoman from the Gainesville area, Corrine Brown. She is a shining example of GATA greatness as well as one of the reasons our government is a gigantic shitpie. With representatives like this, maybe you don’t WANT them to read the bill. Go Gata!

The cupboard is bare, but I believe this coaching staff will get this team to sell out on Saturday. It won’t be enough, but as long as we smash them in the mouth a few times, that works for me. Gata 31 Vol 14


  • Texas 38 Texas Tech 28Texas will take revenge on the Red Raiders after what happened last year. Plus they have those cool looking longhorns on their helmets. Is Marshall Applewhite still their QB?
  • Georgia 29 Arkansas 14My dad once told me (well, more than once) that the only good thing to come out of Arkansas was an empty Greyhound bus.
  • Kentucky 27 Louisville 24After the game, all the players will get together and smoke some bluegrass.
  • Nebraska 24 Va Tech 22Vinnie’s Cornhuskers look to be on the rebound. I like them to continue Va Tech’s early season misery.

If you watched the Titans/Steelers game last week, you were treated to an epic battle of superior defensive play and blood and guts football. I wasn’t too disappointed to lose a close one to the Super Bowl champs – hopefully this will give the Titans some early inspiration to work even harder to improve going forward. I like the Titans to rebound this week over the Texans, 28 – 17.


  • Giants 24 Cowpokes 20It feels like the late 80′s/early 90′s again with meaningful Giants/Cowboys games. I like the Giants D to squash Romo and Co.
  • Colts 34 Fish 10You would be surprised at how many people around here are Colts fans just cuz ol’ PAAAAAAAAAYTON plays for them. That only makes me root against them on principle. No luck this week.
  • Minnesota 44 Detroit 2Brett Favre is currently the leading douchebag in all of sports (with Michael Jordan a close second). I hope Detroit at least gets some good shots in on him.
  • Steelers 24 Bears 14Da Bears will be pounded down like so much tenderloin by the Steelers’ defense. There will be blood.

And, no, Nigel, I haven’t forgotten our bet. I’ll make good next week.

Finally Able To Get Some “Real Work” Done

September 17th, 2009 at 8:31 pm by Brian

So tell me, Comrade. How is Uncle JoeBama’s move to abandon supplying defensive weapons to escapees of history’s bloodiest regime playing in the land that bloodied them?

The Kremlin did not immediately give an official reaction, but, not surprisingly, senior Russian officials expressed support for the move. “It’s like having a decomposing corpse in your flat and then the undertaker comes and takes it away,”said Dmitry Rogozin, Russia’s ambassador to NATO, according to the BBC. “This means we’re getting rid of one of those niggling problems which prevented us from doing the real work.”

They always did love having the corpses carried away.

Note to Eastern Europe: Arm yourself quickly. The Russians know they only have three years to kill you, steal your land and rape your women.

Jules Crittenden plays “This Day In History”:

President Obama celebrates the 70th anniversary of the fruition of the famous non-aggression pactthe Sept. 17, 1939 Soviet invasion of Poland* … with a big present for Stalin wannabe Vladimir Putin. He scraps Euro missile shield!

For Poland, the timing of the announcement is particularly sensitive. Thursday marked the 70th anniversary of the Soviet invasion of eastern Poland following a pact between Moscow and Nazi Germany, an event seen by Poles as “a stab in the back.”

“I hope this is just a coincidence,” said Waszczykowski.

Actually, it probably is. The Obama administration doesn’t study history. It reimagines it.

The symbolism won’t be lost on Russia.  Obama might as well have threatened the Poles to stop building any more settlements on Russian land.

Ooops.  I forgot to include any racism in this post.   *ahem*

Obama is the Aaron Neville Chamberlain of the 21st century. Reprising his hit single “Don’t Know Much”.

That’s mole like it.

Response from Pooty Himself:  Thanks for being such a chickenshit, now hand over your missile and nuclear technology:

Putin, speaking to investors in the Black Sea resort of Sochi, said he now expected the United States to back a bid by Russia, Belarus and Kazakhstan to join the World Trade Organisation.

“I expect that after this correct and brave decision, others will follow, including the complete removal of all restrictions on the transfer of high technology to Russia and activity to widen the membership of the World Trade Organisation to (include) Russia, Kazakhstan and Belarus,” Putin said.

And how about security clearance to our top secret military installations and a list of our greatest fears while we’re at it.

We got what exactly in exchange for stabbing yet another ally in the back?  Are they halting weapons sales to Iran or Venezuela or should we just expect a big donation funneled to Obama’s campaign like the Clintons did with the Chinese in exchange for our nuclear secrets?

You know.  The reason why an ass-backwards rogue state like North Korea can deliver a nuclear warhead across the Pacific now.

Visualize Socialized Medicine

September 17th, 2009 at 3:23 pm by Preston Taylor Holmes

Our brother Brian at Snapped Shot has given you a unique opportunity to visualize the latest “health care” bill, which is, of course, about anything but improving healthcare.


I Wonder If Dear Leader Hates Having To Wave The White Flag Because It’s White

September 17th, 2009 at 9:19 am by Preston Taylor Holmes

If so, it sure hasn’t slowed him down from surrendering to the enemies of freedom.

Our gutless, coward of a President is demonstrating what we all knew before the election, he stands with our enemies. To quote the washed-up Gordon Sumner, every little thing he does is anything but magic.

September 17, 1939, the Soviet Union invades Eastern Poland.

September 17, 2009, The Obamessiah clears the way for Soviet Russian domination of emerging democracies in Eastern Europe.

Coincidence? Capitulation? Comrades!

h/t Leo

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