I Want Jeff Fisher’s Mustache Stuffed On My MantleOctober 11th, 2009 at 11:45 pm by Brian
I’m a Titans fan. I love derivatives of Buddy Ryan’s acolytes on defense. But the Titans’ need a coach and they don’t have one.
Aside from firing everything that touched the University of Texas on the team, the alternative is firing everything in coach’s gear on the sideline – starting at the top. Jeff “Joe Cool” has no passion for this game anymore. He’ll sleepwalk through the recap tomorrow before the Monday Night game and stoically “take the blame” for another humiliating bowel movement on all 100 yards of LP field – televised nationally to raise awareness for Colorectal Cancer Month.
His sideline demeanor raises awareness of Anger Management because no matter what seems to happen he never gets angry,throws down a clipboard, grabs a player’s face mask or decks an Offensive Coordinator for calling a run up the middle 3rd and long. Of course, this could turn into a masochistic endeavor if we include the coach who turns down a penalty against the opposing team giving you 3rd & 8 and another chance to gets a 1st down versus taking 4 & 2 and kicking a field goal.
You’re not really here to win anymore are you, Coach? Or is run left, run up the middle, incomplete pass to the left, punt some brilliant new strategy whose time just hasn’t come yet?
You will be mine.
Paychecks need to be withheld because outside of the defense, the product that is being put on the field does not qualify as a football team. Not that we’ll find that out from local sports talk radio who are so completely in the bag and starstruck that they are void of making any meaningful criticism. You’re still doing my sitdown interview and we’re going to go play golf, right?
Nashville is such a polite city. Nothing like the Chicagos or Philadelphias.
As our pampered, prideless, heartless multimillionaires can’t seem to catch the ball or run with it without dropping it, it’s time to up the stakes.
If Jeff Fisher cannot keep this almost all returning 13 & 3 team from last year from going 0-6 this year, he should be forced to shave his mustache on The Jeff Fisher Show next week.
We will keep his mustache in a fireproof safe, occasionally poke it with a stick and keep a bottle’s worth of Grecian Formula just out of reach to taunt it.