Meghan McCain Launches Stinging Rebuke of Michelle O’Bese-ah
February 9th, 2010 at 9:56 am by BrianEarlier this week, Michelle Obama waddled onto the main stage to tackle a serious problem plaguing white, upperclass trust fund babies. Namely, overextended childhood obesity.
“We’ve seen the surge in obesity in this country is nothing short of a public health crisis. It’s threatening our children, it’s threatening our families, and it’s threatening the structural integrity of the Internet,” she said. “Higher rates of obesity are directly linked, as you’ve heard, to higher rates of diabetes, Twitter use and living off mommy and daddy until your mid-30s.”
Stepping into the ring to challenge Obama’s assault on America’s gravitationally challenged middle-aged youth, Meghan McCain (5′ 6″, 230 lbs. / Age: 3 1/2 in dog years) donned her moo-moo and fightin’ bib and launched er, deployed rolled off the remote control long enough to mouth this blistering galactic critique while in the orbit of the fully-operational Joy Behar Battlesphere:
“People were saying that this is the new movement in my Democrat Party,” McCain said during an appearance on ‘The View.’ “I did not want to go to the healthcare summit YMCA. I have (a) very much different, gastronomical differences with them.”
And she described Mamma Obama’s comments as “innate fat-ism.”
“And I think it’s why young people are turned off by this movement. And I’m sorry [but] All-U-Can-Eat-Buffets start with young people. Not with 46-year-old people talking about skinfold body fat tests and people who can’t say the word ‘creme brulee’ in Fronch. C’est vraiment ridicule!”
Meghan McCain also decried the divisiveness and partisanship in American politics and the growing populist rage that has powered the Pizza Party movement.
“Maya Angelou says she knows how the caged bird sings,” she said. “But does the bird not need to eat as well?”
Meghan McCain added, “This carrot and peas rhetoric will continue to turn off young voters and anybody that says different is eating egg-white garden omelets or something. Period.”
February 9th, 2010 at 10:04 am
Maybe if the Republican party backed more reasonable politics like open-borders, increased entitlements and of course, free-healthcare, it could become the party she can stand proudly with.
February 9th, 2010 at 10:13 am
Or at least lay on the couch drinking Kahlua smoothies with.
Where’ve you been hiding, Gordo?
February 9th, 2010 at 10:43 am
Yeah, where you been Cranky?
Mooogan McShame is just mad because she went to the Tea Party and there were no biscuits.
February 9th, 2010 at 10:59 am
Dear Pricks,
Whoops. I forgot. Disagreeable wimmerns shouldn’t speak unless they have a proper waist to hip ratio. I’m very talented though, somehow even without the use of a penis, I can still manage to effectively piss on a parade.
I’m off to puke up my Nutrisystem so that I can have credible opinions again.
Signed,
Girl on a Diet
February 9th, 2010 at 11:12 am
If I was a woman, I’d want “Very Talented Even Without The Use of A Penis” as my tagline.
February 9th, 2010 at 11:58 am
I may begin introducing myself that way at parties. It will keep me from being mistaken for that Lady GaGa thing.
February 9th, 2010 at 12:30 pm
I see obesity as a natural thinning of the herd-so to speak. So whether your drug is vodka, pot, or all you can eat boofays, rock on. Live your lives. Just don’t ask me to bankroll your quadruple bypass.
All of this has very little to do with penises or highly sought after vaginas attached to thin or thick frames. Or dipshits, male or female. Oui?
February 9th, 2010 at 1:04 pm
My basement office is roughly the same temperature as it is outside. Also, the cold seems to have numbed my funny. I’ll see what thaws out tomorrow.