Unless you find that whole River Phoenix in “Stand By Me” look attractive in a 40 year old he/she/it.

In related news, most Tea Partiers are still not domestic terrorists as none have been asked to ghostwrite  Obama’s next “autobiography”.

Our several readers will also be surprised to learn that it was not I that rammed my car into an Obamatard on Blair Boulevard though I have little doubt they probably deserved it for something they did.  Read any Nashville liberal blogger for about 5 minutes and you’ll start ramming your cars into them too.

Also, Eric Cantor’s office could not possibly have come from a leftwing nutbag but rather just your run-of-the-mill “random act of gunfire”.    Those whacky guns just randomly firing.

And if you think massive unemployment, worldwide instability, domestic strife and an economy teetering on a relapse is too depressing – just relaaaaax.  It’s been the greatest week in a long time.

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