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Archive for March, 2012

How Much Political Mileage Can You Get Out of a Dead 17 Year Old?

March 25th, 2012 at 3:59 pm by Brian

Because evidently dead 17 year olds are just the kind of biofuel running Obama’s 2012 campaign.  Based on the comment threads I’ve read, and watching David Pfluffer on Meet the Press, if Obama can start at the toes and roll his way up to Trayvon Martin’s eyes he should be able to squeeze enough political mileage out of his corpse to get 98% of the black vote or more.

All the commies are talking about it and all the people on the right are talking about the way the commies are talking about it.

I get it.  A Latino neighborhood watch leader is accused of being white so that his shooting of an unarmed black teenager will give the black community an excuse to riot over anything not related to the way Obama has totally screwed them all over economically for the last 3 years.  Really, I get it.  It’s a wonderful distraction to galvanize the black vote and poison the well with race before this next election.

If I were a post-partisan, post-racial Earth Healer / attorney I would definitely interject my opinion that what happened in Florida was a hate crime and encourage my friends in the Black Panther Party to put up $10k to kidnap and murder the alleged cracker before the case goes to trial.  Better yet, just post his address and hope some hotheads shoot at the right house like Spike Lee has suggested.  That’s just what calm, cool and collective community organizers bring to the table.

With the proper cross-branding, The Trash Can Through The Burning Storefront Toss can get funding from Michelle Obama’s Move360 program and hold a voter registration drive at the same time.  Can’t let a crisis go to waste someone once said.

Like the Jena 6, Duke Lacrosse and Tawana Brawley, we are a much better country thanks to the awareness raised by ginning up fake hate crimes charges if the alleged victim is the correct color.  Usually a President doesn’t take the time to note the hue of the victim and to what degree they fall in the spectrum near a color that he’s more comfortable looking at in the mirror but these are post-racial times my friends.

If you do not look like Trayvon Martin, you will be given the opportunity to self-lynch and all carbon taxes will be waived if you act now.

Santorum Finally Drops Trou And Waves His Raging Social Conservatism In Our Faces

March 16th, 2012 at 1:13 am by Brian

And isn’t that what the public is clamoring for?  A nosey, self-righteous, decidedly anti-libertarian prig longing to usurp the mantle of the Meese Commission while our country teeters on the brink of economic collapse?

Stacey McCain is the only kind of McCain I like but this excited defense of Santorum’s snooping streak doesn’t help anyone:

Yes, this is what Santorum says in a statement, one of about two dozen issue-oriented statements on the “Where I Stand” page of his campaign’s Web site. The statement is clear: Santorum wants to enforce laws that the Obama Administration has refused to enforce.

Would you like me to be more specific — because I could, y’know — about some of the clearly illegal obscenity now available online? Perhaps Jedediah Bila or Judson Phillips should contact former Attorney General Ed Meese or former Justice Department official Mark Levin and ask them about this subject. Because I’m reasonably sure that a whole lot of things now available online are, in fact, illegal.

Do we really need to re-fight what prurient community interest standards again?  These aren’t the old days where that shady shop with the tinted windows and neon lights needed to be harangued into the shitty part of town so all the rich people could drive 20 miles out of their way to buy a skin mag and protect their property values.

You pick your battles. While the decline of Western Civilization can be easily accessed by anyone with a $15 internet connection and a curiosity for just how many thick cuts of manmeat some young, sexually empowered feminist can plug into her adventurous pooter at one time, it takes someone as self-righteous as Santorum to decide he wants to play King Pyhrrus and electively fight his way to the top of that sweaty pile of fun flesh to count them on the public dime.

For the children no doubt.  The little lambs shepherded to safety by the self-anointed Smut Smasher.

Like investigating steroids in baseball, Congress should spend the first six months of the Santorum presidency *shudder* hanging out at strip clubs  watching reel after reel at Xhamster and Youporn to determine how many dicks is too many in a gangbang.  And how many are just right for Goldilock’s gash.

How can I put this politely? Ah! Let’s try this: What you want to do with that baseball bat in the privacy of your own home is strictly up to you, but the video is illegal obscenity.

Did that help clarify the issue somewhat?

Remember that Rick Santorum has a law degree and spent 16 years in Congress drafting legislation. He knows the law, and he knows the Constitution, and he knows doggone well that the First Amendment wasn’t intended to protect the kind of filth that’s on the Web nowadays.

So, yes, Santorum promised “vigorous” enforcement to shut down operators who are profiting from commerce in illegal obscenity, and you may agree or disagree with that. But this isn’t an issue that Santorum raised during a stump speech yesterday or that is the subject of his newest campaign ad.

No one’s asked him recently.  Ask him now.  See how far he wants to take it.  I’m guessing to third base on the first interview.

So Santorum would not have an issue with a crowdsourced pornography site where users submitted their own videos and weren’t paid for them.  Because the commerce from perceived illegal obscenity is what gives rise to government investigation?  This veers into Tipper Gore parental advisory sticker territory.  What starts out as wanting to protect little Suzie and Bobby from ever stumbling onto Max Hardcore’s oeuvre (NSFW) quickly devolves into an inquisition of Dee Snider as to why he wants to rock and/or whether or not he will be able to take it (short answer:  No, he ain’t gonna take it.)

Filth is in the eye of the beholder and I think everyone knows that Santorum would see filth as masturbation, premarital sex and non-procreative marital sex to music from anyone other than Pat Boone.  Every time you enter the Missus, you needed to be aiming for baby.

Not to conflate the issues as to whether the Establishment Republicans have the fix in against Santorum – they do.  And Gingrich.  And Paul.   The unholy pentagram of Drudge, Ann Coulter, Mitt Romney, National Review and Barbara Bush have all bathed in the blood of goat sacrifice while listening to Ozzy Osbourne’s “Suicide Solution” to ensure that no one but Romney gets to wear the horns and carry the pitchfork at the Republican convention.

Are the attacks on Santorum coordinated by the Establishment?  Almost certainly.

Are the assertions true that Santorum would use the presidency to enforce his brand of Big Government “I know what’s best for your personal / spiritual life” social conservatism?  Definitely.

From Santorum’s website:

Enforcing Laws Against Illegal Pornography

America is suffering a pandemic of harm from pornographyA wealth of research is now available demonstrating that pornography causes profound brain changes in both children and adults, resulting in widespread negative consequences. Addiction to pornography is now common for adults and even for some children. The average age of first exposure to hard-core, Internet pornography is now 11. Pornography is toxic to marriages and relationships. It contributes to misogyny and violence against women.  It is a contributing factor to prostitution and sex trafficking.

Every family must now be concerned about the harm from pornography. As a parent, I am concerned about the widespread distribution of illegal obscene pornography and its profound effects on our culture.

Pornography, not illegal pornography mind you, just plain-assed pornography – it’s ruining marriages and causes brain damage.  The science is settled!  This isn’t about “obscenity”.  This is about Rick Santorum deciding that pornography period is not good for anyone and by gum he’s going to nip this in the bud.

I don’t know how many holes a bud has but, gee willikers, Santorum is more than ready to shove the hard cock of big government into as many of them are necessary to fuck the freedom out of the first amendment and get us all holding hands and smooching on the couch in between Family Feud and when we go to bed at a decent hour.


Unclear On The Meaning Of Words

March 15th, 2012 at 9:11 pm by Brian

From the top one percenter, human stunt blob Harvey Weinstein:

Top Hollywood producer and Obama bundler Harvey Weinstein attend the White House state dinner last night and had nothing but wonderful things to say about the president.

“I’m so thrilled he’s running for reelection, he’s done a fantastic job, and he’s the most underestimated president I’ve seen,” Weinstein said, according to the pool report. “He’s too humble, and his accomplishments far outweigh his esteem, but people will learn that in time.”

This was his “humility” before Day One in office.   Safe to say, his modesty has grown at a rate exponential to our economy under his watch.

Should we ever expect less from the 4th Greatest President of All Time and future point guard of the Chicago Bulls?  Not unless they change their name to the Chicago Bullshit.

Then he could be the owner.  Elect him to the Hall of Fame before the first game.  Put his face on the jerseys.  Provide that everyone learns to distribute the ball evenly and is allowed to take the same number of shots.  Indeed, pay all of the players the exact same amount.  When they lose, he can praise their effort as the model of efficiency right before they file for bankruptcy.

February 28, 2011

But when his presidency ends, Mr. Obama knows exactly what car he wants to buy as his post-presidential ride — a plug-in Chevrolet Volt. “Five years from now when I’m not president anymore, I’ll buy one and drive it myself,” Obama promised 1,600 auto workers at a United Auto Workers union event in Detroit on Tuesday. “Yes, that’s right,” he reiterated, accompanied by deafening applause.

What a piping hot load. Did a cow shit in here? No, it’s just another Obama speech. Predictably, empty promises mouthed to either a bunch of enthusiastic sloped-foreheaded union knuckledraggers or equally enthralled 5th year community college retards en route to till the debt fields for the next 15 years of their miserable McDonald’s slinging lives.  *arf!* *arf!*  to deafening applause.

Would I like fries with that?  Oh, yes you can – add that to my order.

Less than a week later:

Chevy’s electric car, the Volt, is running on empty. With sales lagging and inventories building, GM has decided to idle production of the Chevy Volt for five weeks. During that time, about 1,300 workers will temporarily be laid off.

Because if there’s one thing Obama’s full of more than shit, it’s himself.  I can understand Weinstein’s confusion considering the striking resemblance.

Stay Classy, Progs

March 5th, 2012 at 5:10 pm by Preston Taylor Holmes

So, in today’s leftist media culture, you’re not allowed to call a slut a slut, but you’re free to mock tornado victims as “greasy spots” on the highway getting smashed by their “God”. Thank goodness there’s no double-standard in the media or these loving leftists might get really nasty one day.

It’s hard not to wish ill upon a sick, diseased soul such as this, but I shall try to refrain. (or at least I’ll refrain from typing it)

UPDATE: Apparently this guy gets off on trying to make a name for himself via making “shocking” statements. Here he is celebrating Andrew Breitbart’s death. I guess this is how the talentless try to get attention.

Thank You Andrew

March 1st, 2012 at 12:13 pm by Preston Taylor Holmes

The best bare-knuckle boxer of the blogosphere has passed.

Coincidence? I think not.

COOTUS promised a radical transformation, so welcome to the third world, bitches.

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