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Preston Taylor Holmes
Knoxville, TN

The Cranky Neocon
Philadelphia, PA

Brian McMurphy
Nashville, TN

Nigel
San Diego, CA

TinyElvis
The O.C., California

Yiddish Steel
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Annika!
Parts Unknown, California



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Archive for August, 2012



Sheriff Joe To The Rescue?

August 24th, 2012 at 8:29 am by Preston Taylor Holmes

…but probably not in the way he would imagine. My good friend Leo called me a few weeks ago to tell me he had a disturbing dream about something awful happening at the GOP convention next week. He couldn’t remember details, just a vague recollection. Then, after hearing about Sheriff Joe’s spur-of-the-moment trip to Tampa during the convention, the wheels started turning in his head and he called me back to remind me about his dream and what it may mean in the context of the Sheriff’s trip. Turns out we’re not the only ones thinking this way.

That don’t add up for. Not even close. So I’m asking around some more. And I’m not the only one. Nothing is coming back. Finally get a call into the Old Man. Alert him to my concerns. Within 30 minutes he gets back to me. We got legit Intel from military source. Nothing concrete. Which got our source’s attention. That is a big red alert. This thing is being planned. Staged. Might be a handful of local law enforcement in on it. Apparently a related communication from DHS within the last 24 hrs. Union thugs. Got to be a Jarrett Gerard initiated plan. Something along those lines.

I’m giving you and your readers a heads up here. False flag. The real deal. They will try and control it but make it look uncontrolled. Dangerous. Make it reflect poorly on the Republicans and their supporters. A dangerous and desperate operation here. Even a dimwit like Biden has to know how dangerous.

So have everyone you can reach, all your readers, let them know. Obama operatives are attempting a set up here. Dimes to dollars that’s what is going down.

Overly conspiratorial? Sure. Beyond plausibility? No.

Leo and I bounced around some ideas of what they may have planned – some bad, some worse. I’ll let my more conspiratorial readers use their imagination.

The fact is, the trend is moving towards Romney/Ryan and the WH thugs are getting desperate. Desperate + Evil = Anything Goes.

I hope and pray that we’re crazy and next week passes without incident. I would much rather it turn out that way. There’s way too much about COOTUS and this thug administration that makes me a little too nervous to ever rest easy.

UPDATE: Looks like the clown prince isn’t going after all.

The Sweet Smell of Desparation

August 22nd, 2012 at 11:00 pm by Cranky

That Akin guy… I didn’t know his name before this week. Then he steps in it. And now, he is in full damage control mode. Know how I know?

Because he purchased an email list that has my CrankyNeocon email address and he sent me two messages. Well, actually one. His wife sent the other.

Will you chip-in $5 to help me fight the party bosses?

I believe in God, and I’ve asked him for forgiveness for what I’ve said. I’ve asked the people of Missouri for forgiveness, too.

For anyone serving in a position of public trust, those are the only two authorities that should matter – as a Christian, God is the ultimate authority. As a public servant, voters are who I answer to.

Party bosses and the insider establishment have a different view. They think you answer to them, not the other way around.

Missouri, I need your help more than ever. You are ready for change. You are ready to put a conservative voice in the Senate. You are ready to turn this country around and get us back on track.

The media is against us. The Washington elites are against us. The party bosses are against us.

I am ready to move forward and continue the fight to get our country back on track. Will you help me fight back by chipping-in $5 today?

Egads. He won’t be getting a nickel from me since he put his senatorial aspirations ahead of the good of the country at such a critical time.

Of course, the little Mrs. wrote me, so maybe I’ll reconsider.

Dear Friends,

My husband is a man of principle and courage. He’s a great husband and a wonderful father to our daughters and sons, but he’s not perfect. He made a mistake and he apologized for it. Now we need to move forward and defeat Claire McCaskill.

Todd is 100% pro-life, Claire is 100% pro-abortion. Claire was the deciding vote in support of Obamacare, she voted for the failed “stimulus” and was Barack Obama’s biggest cheerleader when he ran for President in 2008.

For all these reasons, Claire needs to go. We need your help today to defeat Claire in November.

Donate $5 right now to show that you’re in this fight with Todd!

Sincerely,

Lulli Akin

Nah.

Thank God for New Media

August 14th, 2012 at 7:02 pm by Cranky

Remember when this stuff was said unchallenged? I do.

If it weren’t for the rise of the Internet and New Media, we would think that Trayvon Martin was a kid murdered by a convicted felon and that Romney was amazed by a touch-screen.

At least we’re dealing with an enemy that is so predictable. Here’s to hoping there are people smarter than us who can leverage this Dinosaur Media’s shopworn tactics against them.

(sirloin tip Jim Treacher)

Dead Dads And Other Liberal Lessons In Civility

August 13th, 2012 at 4:29 pm by Brian

8/14 UPDATE:  As if to prove my point from yesterday, Crazy Joe Biden has looked into his crystal bald to offer another haunting vision of Mitt Romney’s Amerikkka:

Vice President Joe Biden told supporters that Republicans would “put y’all back in chains,” during a campaign speech Tuesday in Danville, Va.

VICE PRESIDENT JOE BIDEN: They’ve said it. Every Republican’s voted for it. Look at what they value and look at their budget and what they’re proposing. Romney wants to let the—he said in the first 100 days, he’s going to let the big banks once again write their own rules–unchain Wall Street. They’re going to put y’all back in chains. He’s said he’s going to do nothing about stopping the practice of outsourcing…

Biden was introduced at the campaign event by Center for American Progress Action Fund president Tom Perriello, who called Biden “the conscience of our nation’s capital.”

The Romney campaign reacted strongly to the remarks, calling them “not acceptable” in a statement released shortly after Biden’s campaign speech.

“The comments made by the vice president of the United States are not acceptable in our political discourse and demonstrate yet again that the Obama campaign will say and do anything to win this election,” spokeswoman Andrea Saul said in the statement. ”President Obama should tell the American people whether he agrees with Joe Biden’s comments.”

But Obama deputy campaign manager Stephanie Cutter the campaign has “no problem with those comments,” in an interview with Andrea Mitchell.

An Obama campaign official later told CNN’s John King that Biden’s comments were “not helpful.”

Not helpful, huh?  There is no depth that the subhuman , morally repugnant filth that calls itself “Democrat” will not sink to.  Being less than three months out from Biden being sent back to Scranton with his false teeth kicked down his fucking throat – electorally speaking – at this rate we can expect him to start invoking visions of the Ku Klux Klan riding into town with hangmen’s nooses in tow looking to hang grandma and the coloreds from the nearest tree if you disagree with him on deficit reduction.

The Obama campaign’s immediate defense of Biden’s comments, and I say comments because this was not a gaffe as the Obamamedia are trying to spin it, show the coordinated front to bring this nation into the mud as much as possible in hopes of inflaming a race war to guilt white independents into voting for Dope and Same.

Remember, the selection of Biden was the one who was going to bring “gravitas” to this slimey little Obama shit.

******************

I think I speak for God when I say this.  All Democrats are pieces of shit that deserve to die – yesterday.  That’s not me talking.  That’s God.  So if you have a complaint, please take it up with Him if Gaia doesn’t mind you cheating on her.

Having relayed that valuable message that all Democrats need to take to heart, what is it with the Democrat Party’s seemingly constant contact with the living impaired?  Hillary Clinton famously booty bopped with the ghost of Eleanor Roosevelt, they’ve always maintained a 90% approval with that environmentally friendly & biodegradable swathe of the electorate, and Nancy Pelosi recently engaged in what some have described as a five-way, bi-partisan, spiritual scissorfest culminating in Elizabeth Cady Stanton riding her deflated whoopie cushion of a face like the Kentucky Derby until the ectoplasm of her gynecological wisdom could be spat into the face of waiting reporters.

I know it left me breathless and Janet “Bush Hog” Napolitano heartbroken that she wasn’t invited.

Just this last month we’ve had two instances where both Harry Reid and now Joe Biden have enlisted the Ed Hardy clad Ghost Hunter douchebags from the SyFy channel to divine just how many revolutions per minute that Mitt Romney’s and Paul Ryan’s fathers are rolling in their graves due to their disappointment with them in not respecting the Commie Welfare State.

Gaze beyond the hair plugs and stare  deeply into the crystal ball that is Joe Biden’s cueball noggin if you dare:

“My dad used to have another saying, for real,” Biden said. “And, by the way, I’ve been saying this for 30 years. And I’m glad to see that Congressman Ryan likes his dad, too, and quotes his dad. I mean that sincerely. But my dad [had] a lot of wisdom. Every time someone tell you, say, ‘Look, let me tell you what’s important to me, what I value.’ My dad would go, ‘No, no. Don’t tell me what you value. Show me your budget, and I will tell you what you value.’”

Ryan’s father died when the congressman was 15 years old.

I’m sorry.  What “budget” is it that Joe Biden has passed in the last four years so we can tell what he values?

But let’s not limit this to just Joe Biden’s dad or Mitt Romney’s dad or Paul Ryan’s dad.

What would Barack Obama’s dad think about what his son is doing? 

As soon as anyone can figure out who Barack Obama’s real father is I’ll break out the candles and Ouija board to ask him.

 

(as columns of choom float from my window)

McMurphy:  I am needing to speak to the father of Barack Hussein Obama, Jr. – will the real father of Barack Hussein Obama, Jr. please give us your guidance…

Frank Davis:  *cough* *cough* Is this where all the white women be?

McMurphy:  Mr. Davis?  Mahalo.   Have you finally decided to take credit for impregnating Stanley with the fruit of your communist loin?  He is the President of the United States after all.

Frank Davis:  What’s that?  You’ve got me all wrong there, Big Time.  We were just friends!

McMurphy:  Mr. Davis – you do know that they can’t make you pay child support from beyond the grave.

Frank Davis:  Really?  Well, sheeyit – my bad.  What’s my little bastard up to these days?

McMurphy:  Well, sir.  He’s bankrupted the country, surrendered Afghanistan to the Taliban, abandoned missile defense for our allies, bowed to every dictator on Earth, sold guns to Mexican drug cartels, slashed Medicare for seniors, cut breast exams for women, erased our Southern Border, hired a Bush Hog to watch over national security, a tax cheat to watch over our money, order our astronauts to hitchhike a ride with the Russians while wasting $25 billion to GM so that they can make cars nobody will buy and that catch on fire in your garage and burn your house down.  All while only squeezing in 104 rounds of golf into his schedule in 4 years.  Quite an accomplishment.

Frank Davis:  No shit?  That’s my boy allright.

(yelling from the background)

McMurphy:  Mr. Davis???  Mr. Davis!  Are you still with us?

Frank Davis:  Just wait a sec…I gotta go, son.  George Romney is going to fire me if I don’t get back to cleaning out his heavenly toilet.

McMurphy:  Thank you for your time Mr. Davis.  I’m sure we’ll speak again!

 As Buck Nasty would say, “Holla atcha boy“.

 

I Blame Bush Hog

August 11th, 2012 at 11:30 am by Brian

 

Secretary of Homeland Sexpottery, Janet “Bush Hog” Incompetano

 This whole story just smells fishy to me:

Looks like the Department of Homeland Security could be renamed the Department of Hyper Sexuality.

A blistering federal discrimination suit accuses agency honcho Janet Napolitano of turning the department into a female-run “frat house” where male staffers were banished to the bathrooms and routinely humiliated.

James Hayes Jr., who now is New York’s top Homeland Security cop, claims Napolitano filled top spots in Washington, D.C., with two of her gal pals who were bent on tormenting male employees.

The suit identified them as Dora Schriro, who is now running the city Department of Correction, and Suzanne Barr, the chief of staff for the U.S. Immigration and Customs Enforcement.

I’d say to throw this incompetent clamlapper in jail but that would only be giving her the chance to live out her Caged Heat fantasy.
Perhaps giving her a beanbag gun and setting her on border patrol duty for the next four years would help her to re-evaluate her “Safer Than We’ve Ever Been” stance.  That and the lifetime ban from Melissa Etheridge concerts.

Barr “moved the entire contents of the offices of three employees, including name plates, computers and telephones, to the men’s bathroom at ICE headquarters,” the suit says.

Barr also stole a male staffer’s BlackBerry and fired off a message to his female supervisor indicating that he “had a crush on [her] and fantasized about her,” Hayes claims.

Sometimes, Barr took a more direct approach. In one case, she called a male colleague in his hotel room and screamed at him using sexually humiliating language, the suit says.

Hayes claims that after he reported the abuse to the Equal Employment Opportunity office, Napolitano launched a series of misconduct investigations against him.

When Obama is evicted from his federally subsidized housing in November, all of Homeland Security and the Justice Department are going to need to be taped off like the crime scenes they are.

From The Department Of Casual Blasphemy

August 11th, 2012 at 11:09 am by Brian

The streets will flow with the blood of the non-believers:

In an interview with CNN’s Don Lemon, director Spike Lee said that the expectations people had for Obama‘s first term were too high, Politico reported Friday.

“He was a savior, black Jesus,” Lee said.

“Look, I don’t care who it was. Expectations were way too high,” he said in an interview that is set to run in its entirety on Saturday.

Well, duh.  Some religions have many gods.  We’ve been so very fortunate for the last four years to suffer under the yoke of a narcissistic manchild who still thinks that he’s all gods rolled into one.

Except Allah, of course.  There is no god but Allah.  And Mohammed is his prophet.

Now who is going to tell the Apostle Press?  The dinner bell for the last Ramadan supper at the White House is ringing.

I Wish That Romney Would Quit Killing People

August 8th, 2012 at 2:08 pm by Preston Taylor Holmes

For those of you who may have missed COOTUS’ tearjerker “Romney killed my wife” ad, here it is. Get out a hanky, you’ll need it.

This works nicely with COOTUS’ gubmint healthcare plans as well as drives the point home that Rethuglicans want to kill people. Especially old people. Especially old, different-looking people. Because they’re bigots. And stuff.

The only problem with that ad is that (like everything else that comes out of the assmouth of the Obama team) it’s a lie.

COOTUS is lucky the American voting public is so damn stupid.

And, besides, we all know the real cause of cancer:



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