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Sad Robot Delivers High School Commencement Speech Wrapped In A Unitarian Sermon

December 17th, 2012 at 11:03 am by Brian

Gettysburg this ain’t.  Sad Robot delivered his programmed transmission to the much heralded “interfaith” vigil in Newtown, CT last night in response to the unscheduled 29th trimester abortions of the white kids Jamie Foxx wanted to kill once they grew up.

Systems responded normal throughout beta testing.  The tear duct emotasensor still appeared to be on the fritz but Barack-O-Bot powered through like some Energizer Bunny beating the drum of gun control:

It comes as a shock at a certain point where you realize no matter how much you love these kids, you can’t do it by yourself, that this job of keeping our children safe and teaching them well is something we can only do together, with the help of friends and neighbors, the help of a community and the help of a nation.

And in that way we come to realize that we bear responsibility for every child, because we’re counting on everybody else to help look after ours, that we’re all parents, that they are all our children.

He said, “You didn’t raise that child.  Somebody else did.”

This glitch in Sad Robot’s readings represents a disturbed understanding that a family comes after the community in order of importance.  They are their parent’s children.  They are not The Community’s children.

In the coming weeks, I’ll use whatever power this office holds to engage my fellow citizens, from law enforcement, to mental health professionals, to parents and educators, in an effort aimed at preventing more tragedies like this, because what choice do we have? We can’t accept events like this as routine.

Are we really prepared to say that we’re powerless in the face of such carnage, that the politics are too hard?

Are we prepared to say that such violence visited on our children year after year after year is somehow the price of our freedom?

You know, all the world’s religions, so many of them represented here today, start with a simple question.

A.  Where does this multicultural bullshit get interjected?  Newtown, Connecticut according to their last Census is 95% white, 2% hispanic and 2% black.  Am I to assume that like the United States as a whole that it was founded by Muslims and that 95% of those white people along with the 4% of their servants are evenly distributed across Hinduism, Taoism, Buddhism and Islam as opposed to being a primarily Christian gathering?

That one line tells you what this speech was.  It was not a comfort speech to the sleepy little top 1% burg of Newtown.  It was a gun control speech to the nation as I predicted earlier.  Your tragedy is my opportunity.

Insert a series of false choices where you either support banning all semi-automatic weapons or you eat babies for breakfast.  This is coming from a guy who demands that abortion providers grab a pre-human by the appendages and beat its head against a porcelain sink if it’s accidentlly born alive.  Sad Robot is anything but human.

You have a false choice.  Your children’s lives or the 2nd Amendment.  I’d say without the 2nd you can never insure their lives.  Sad Robot does not see your money as belonging to you and it’s fairly evident in his comments last night that your children don’t belong to you either.  Over 200 years into this experiment, how are children even alive in America under this logic?

They belong to us.  They belong to a benevolent government who keeps them safe and raises them because you can’t do it by yourself.

The memories we have of them, the joy that they bring, the wonder we see through their eyes, that fierce and boundless love we feel for them, a love that takes us out of ourselves and binds us to something larger, we know that’s what matters.

We know we’re always doing right when we’re taking care of them, when we’re teaching them well, when we’re showing acts of kindness. We don’t go wrong when we do that.

Such “kindness” was on full display this weekend when one of Sad Robot’s senior White House Staffers mocked the shooter’s mother who was shot four times in the head in her bed:

Even after death, the War On Women continues unabated.  Because when we teach people well when we are showing acts of kindness.  That’s when we’re at our best.  McLaughlin currently teaches at the Harvard Law Review.  I’m certain he’s teaching those kids what really matters.

System does not compute.  Must be a disconnect between Sad Robot and other units on the network. *bloop, bloop*

END OF TRANSMISSION


2 Responses to “Sad Robot Delivers High School Commencement Speech Wrapped In A Unitarian Sermon”

  1. Bill Says:

    I remember the good ole days when we had robots named Kissinger and they just gave away things like domestic oil production to the Soddis…

  2. David Brickner Says:

    Great speech: Joseph Goebbels could not have done it better…….

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