Please Quit Stopping Me From Killing MyselfDecember 31st, 2012 at 5:29 pm by Brian
Budd Dwyer call your office. At last, the unearthed Republican Strategy to deal with the mountainous Obama debt. Maybe if they shoot themselves in the head they’ll really, REALLY be able to hold Obama’s feet to the fire when the Debt Ceiling negotiations start.
After all, the media will have to admit that these latter-day Headless Horsemen caved on increased taxes in exchange for no spending cuts and it would only be fair for Obama to agree on that in a few months, right? That’s how it will be reported, right?
With both sides on the cusp of a fiscal cliff deal, President Barack Obama vowed Monday to seek additional revenue next year alongside spending cuts. In the process, he also angered several GOP senators who said he demeaned their efforts to reach a deal.
Obama said that a year-end deal to avert tax hikes for the middle class “is within sight, but it’s not done.”
Does Boehner, McConnell and Lindsey Graham’s congressional dental plans cover reconstructive orthodontia from biting pillows so hard?
Awww, Obama doesn’t fix you breakfast and leave money on the nightstand after he rides you raw in full view of the public. Boohoo. He doesn’t appreciate that you’re part of the act too. Is that what I’m reading?
You did more than just lay there like a cold fish. Lindsey got all lathered up to do the work of the un-American people and when his reacharound arm went out he got mad that we all couldn’t come together at the same time. Boehner cupped the balls and McConnell thankfully wore a leather mask that hid his flappy jowled Beaker neck.
Add current and hopefully not future Senator Bob Corker to the traitorous gangbang:
Immediate reaction from Republicans to the president’s demand for even more revenue, as well as his shots at Congress, was sharp.
Sen. Bob Corker, R-Tenn., took to the Senate floor to say Obama might have alienated Republicans who were tentatively ready to support the current cliff deal, which would push decisions on the sequester and other budget issues to the new year. “I think he’s lost numbers of votes with what he did. He didn’t lose mine, I’m not like that,” Corker said.
Sen. John McCain, R-Ariz., said the president’s remarks were a “cheerleading, ridiculing of Republicans exercise.”
Corker said, “You can call me a sawed off little bitch who gobbles nuts for loose change but I will always abandon my stated principles so that the media won’t call me names.” To which McCain chimed in, “You gonna finish those nuts?”
With this deal, the Republican Party is officially done. I have always said that they have neither the ability, strategy or will to fight but RNC headquarters itself is about to be declared federally protected land for the deep and lengthy series of caves found within.
They live in this fantasy world where time constraints and arbitrary deadlines apply to themselves and not the other side. A world where they think that the media is going to take part in a “gotcha” moment when the opposition is determined to be hypocrites or unserious about dealing with the country killing debt banging its tentacles at the negotiating table.
The pundits, the press and the politicians think that by massaging this stuttering clusterfuck of a deal into some Victory For The American People ™ that we are somehow immune to the math that is going to slam it’s red, capital F Minus ink pen on this final exam.
The spending will continue. The debt will be raised. Nothing is fixed. Your money is more worthless than it already was under our “Don’t Look Down Obamanomics” policy.
What no one accounts for is the panic when everyone does look down. The panic is what kills. It’s not the Neo-Welfarists bitterly clinging to 3-4 years of unemployment checks as opposed to taking a demeaning job (read: A job) that pays less than the handout or the never involved welfarists who ceased to work generations ago. The panic of the people who continue working and realize it’s not worth it anymore is what will finish us.
But we are going to look down eventually and we are all going to suffer greater than any 1920s soup kitchen at the precise moment of Democracy and Freedom’s greatest peril. Abandon the Republican Party if you have not already done so. At the moment when they were needed most, they decided to become Democrats out of the same ideological suicide that the Tea Party saved them from doing in 2010. Resentment was their reward.
Like all serious suicides, you can’t save them from themselves. We’ll just throw those bitten pillow cases away, change out the headboard, wipe off the wall and finally start over. I really can’t say “fuck you” loud enough or long enough.
Pussy Control: Time to vote on a new speaker.