Well, you might as well watch this. When you’re puzzled as to how so many functionally illiterate drones are puked out of public schools across this country, just remember this Salisbury NC teacher.

These are the gems of the NEA – uninformed, uneducated teachers, unable to be purged from faculties across the country due to the power of the unions. Kudos to these kids for exposing what we already knew was going on in our halls of lower learning.

How desperate is the “All-In” media to polish the turd of Obama’s re-election campaign?  Desperate enough to give top of the fold coverage to half a century old allegations of high school pranks.

Prepare yourself for the nastiest campaign in American history.  And look at that turd shine:

…this morning the Washington Post dropped what had to be an intentionally-timed bomb on presumptive nominee Mitt Romney. Within hours of Obama suddenly deciding to stop lying about his position on same-sex marriage, the Washington Post read Mitt Romney’s teenage mind,  found it anti-gay, and in a huge, attention-getting feature worked hand-in-hand with the Obama campaign to paint their likely challenger as a snooty, wealthy, homophobic, prep school bully.

This is the best they’ve got.

We’re to believe that Mitt The Mormon was running around like a “pack of wild dogs” at the same time that Obama was eating packs of wild dogs.  Guess which one is a five page Washington Post cover story?

Hey, now…didn’t Journolist’s founder work for the Washington Post?  Come to think of it, he still works for the Washington Post!

This screenshot from Memeorandum is the textbook definition of “I got the memo”:

Message received loud and clear.

After Obama’s Epic Fail on same-sex marriage, we have to change the subject to a half century old nontroversy that the bankrupt Washington Post has been keeping its powder dry on for who knows how long.

What’s a bigger story?  An alleged prank from 1965 or Obama’s cocaine use in the last twenty years?  A dog put in a kennel on top of a car or the President eating it?

Why can’t we know what classes Obama took in college?  Why can’t we know his GPA?  How is teenage Mitt Romney somehow fodder for major news outlets but Obama starting his career in the home of a domestic terrorist and spending 20 years in a racist crackpot’s church off-limits?

Old Media, just go out of business already.  The Emperor isn’t wearing any clothes and his only modesty is you covering up his pride with your mouth.

Admittedly, I was going to run with this idea but that it would only be one panel long.

When “Julia” was conceived, her mother receives federal funds care of the Lily Ledbetter Womb Emancipation Act to abort her and recycle her stem cells through The Race To Cure Capitalism Foundation.

This could have been a disaster.

Luckily, the Secretes Service  finished nailing the hotel’s prostitutes early enough in the evening to swoop in and save her from the next Anna Chapman licking her down for information in the club’s crapper.

Yep.  The adults are in charge.  Don’t.  Stop.  Thinkin’ about your hangover tomorrow.

This misadministration is the equivalent of the L.A. looters circa 30 minutes after the Rodney King verdict.  They’re smashing the windows of our reputation and grabbing as many big screen tvs from the public coffers as they can because Darrell Issa can’t haul all of them in front of Congress at the same time can he?

For all of the talk about what poor, poor Obama inherited from George W. Bush, the one thing that he inherited that he totally didn’t deserve was a military that had been built up in spite of his voting record for eight years.  Perhaps I’m just showing my age here when I remember back to 2004 when John Kerry’s 90 day stint in Vietnam meant he was the only man qualified to the lead the country yet now, this manboy, who assiduously avoided military service and hates veterans is taking credit for the years of intelligence research that went into killing Bin Laden.  It was his gutsy call to sleep on it for 16 hours.

Punching Above His Weight: Little Man Sittin' At The Grown Ups Table

My guts are churning just thinking about it.

Organizing a 40 minute Navy Seal tactical strike  under the cover of darkness in the heart of a Pakistani military retiree town isn’t the same as organizing a bunch of union thugs and welfare queens to march on the local bank for the class crime of having credit standards.

Barack Hussein Obama did not “get” Osama bin Laden – George Bush’s military did in spite of him.

Some of the Seals are starting to complain about being used as campaign props.  That’s to be expected the ungrateful mofos that they are.  Do all the heavy lifting and get the shaft whenever it’s brought up.  Obama’s “generally proud of them” some of the time when they can be used.  Or in that special way that can only be appreciated by a Nobel Peace Prize winner with a precision guided team of elite soldiers whose budgets he constantly longs to cut so that rich Georgetown sluts don’t have to raid their Starbucks fund to abort tomorrow’s adderal addicts.

But does anyone think for a second that Obama contributed anything more to the Assassination of Bin Laden other than not saying “no”?

Unlike a beagle slathered in barbecue sauce, Obama’s fingerprints are not on the Seal team Pakistani raid of bin Laden’s slut compound filled with Just for Men, jackin’ rags and flash drives waiting to be leaked to the media before any actionable intel could be used against his network.

No, his fingerprints are all over Bin Laden’s politically correct and religiously sensitive rushed burial at sea so that the Islamic world (who doesn’t buy into al Qaeda’s message at all because it’s a religion of peace) didn’t have another reason to hate us.  Newspapers can gladly publish pics of US troops posing with dead terrorists but we can’t see the corpse of their leader brought to ballistic justice.

It’s not like we spent, oh, a trillion dollars and thousands of lives to find him after all.

That is Classic Obama.  Ensuring that the man who killed thousands of Americans is given a level of respect that he didn’t deserve to placate the heathens from rioting in the streets of the Middle East.  It took guts to spit in the face of 350 million Americans, give or take 3200 of them, to give Bin Laden a proper funeral instead of dragging him back to the land he attacked to swing from a beam in front of Ground Zero as a message to the scum of the Earth.

Gutsy call, indeed.  In that moment, you showed the world exactly where your sympathies lied.  You couldn’t control his capture but you could certainly kiss his ass in front of the world after he was dead.

This picture is the exact opposite of what Obama did. Plus chewy teeth.

In all fairness, Barack should be forgiven for his past sins against man’s best friend.  Look who he married.  If that’s not proof that he can learn to love a dog then nothing will.

On the other hand, this story from 2010 does seem odd in retrospect:

Obama, Lurie discussed Vick, green energy

Lurie told Peter King of NBC and Sports Illustrated the president praised the decision to hire Vick after the former Atlanta Falcon served 21 months in the Leavenworth, Kan., federal prison and was under home confinement for his involvement in an illegal interstate dogfighting ring, The Washington Post reported.

“The president wanted to talk about two things, but the first was Michael,” Lurie said. “He said, ‘So many people who serve time never get a fair second chance.’ He was … passionate about it. He said it’s never a level playing field for prisoners when they get out of jail. And he was happy that we did something on such a national stage that showed our faith in giving someone a second chance after such a major downfall.”

*Ahem*

Obama Scolds Vick: Don't play with your food.

So the guy who eats dogs (because eating a particular animal transfers their characteristics to you as he said) “passionately” calls the top 1% owner of a football team to ask about his top 1% player to make sure his career is recovering  after going to jail for running a dogfighting ring.  Sort of puts it in perspective, doesn’t it?

Commies, please keep telling yourselves that this is not a big deal.  Americans spend approximately $45 billion dollars a year on their pets.  They get upset watching Sarah McLachlan showing injured ones to raise money for charity.

Your president ate (at the very least) one because he thought it would give him special powers. And it did.  It made him your pack leader.

Woof-woof.

All the commies are talking about it and all the people on the right are talking about the way the commies are talking about it.

I get it.  A Latino neighborhood watch leader is accused of being white so that his shooting of an unarmed black teenager will give the black community an excuse to riot over anything not related to the way Obama has totally screwed them all over economically for the last 3 years.  Really, I get it.  It’s a wonderful distraction to galvanize the black vote and poison the well with race before this next election.

If I were a post-partisan, post-racial Earth Healer / attorney I would definitely interject my opinion that what happened in Florida was a hate crime and encourage my friends in the Black Panther Party to put up $10k to kidnap and murder the alleged cracker before the case goes to trial.  Better yet, just post his address and hope some hotheads shoot at the right house like Spike Lee has suggested.  That’s just what calm, cool and collective community organizers bring to the table.

With the proper cross-branding, The Trash Can Through The Burning Storefront Toss can get funding from Michelle Obama’s Move360 program and hold a voter registration drive at the same time.  Can’t let a crisis go to waste someone once said.

Like the Jena 6, Duke Lacrosse and Tawana Brawley, we are a much better country thanks to the awareness raised by ginning up fake hate crimes charges if the alleged victim is the correct color.  Usually a President doesn’t take the time to note the hue of the victim and to what degree they fall in the spectrum near a color that he’s more comfortable looking at in the mirror but these are post-racial times my friends.

If you do not look like Trayvon Martin, you will be given the opportunity to self-lynch and all carbon taxes will be waived if you act now.

Top Hollywood producer and Obama bundler Harvey Weinstein attend the White House state dinner last night and had nothing but wonderful things to say about the president.

“I’m so thrilled he’s running for reelection, he’s done a fantastic job, and he’s the most underestimated president I’ve seen,” Weinstein said, according to the pool report. “He’s too humble, and his accomplishments far outweigh his esteem, but people will learn that in time.”

This was his “humility” before Day One in office.   Safe to say, his modesty has grown at a rate exponential to our economy under his watch.

Should we ever expect less from the 4th Greatest President of All Time and future point guard of the Chicago Bulls?  Not unless they change their name to the Chicago Bullshit.

Then he could be the owner.  Elect him to the Hall of Fame before the first game.  Put his face on the jerseys.  Provide that everyone learns to distribute the ball evenly and is allowed to take the same number of shots.  Indeed, pay all of the players the exact same amount.  When they lose, he can praise their effort as the model of efficiency right before they file for bankruptcy.

February 28, 2011

But when his presidency ends, Mr. Obama knows exactly what car he wants to buy as his post-presidential ride — a plug-in Chevrolet Volt. “Five years from now when I’m not president anymore, I’ll buy one and drive it myself,” Obama promised 1,600 auto workers at a United Auto Workers union event in Detroit on Tuesday. “Yes, that’s right,” he reiterated, accompanied by deafening applause.

What a piping hot load. Did a cow shit in here? No, it’s just another Obama speech. Predictably, empty promises mouthed to either a bunch of enthusiastic sloped-foreheaded union knuckledraggers or equally enthralled 5th year community college retards en route to till the debt fields for the next 15 years of their miserable McDonald’s slinging lives.  *arf!* *arf!*  to deafening applause.

Would I like fries with that?  Oh, yes you can – add that to my order.

Less than a week later:

Chevy’s electric car, the Volt, is running on empty. With sales lagging and inventories building, GM has decided to idle production of the Chevy Volt for five weeks. During that time, about 1,300 workers will temporarily be laid off.

Because if there’s one thing Obama’s full of more than shit, it’s himself.  I can understand Weinstein’s confusion considering the striking resemblance.

Needless to say, when you’ve lost a white, vinegary Leftist like Bill Maher – your baggeth runneth over (sausage link to Noel Sheppard at the invaluable NewsBusters):

‘Baggin’ It

BILL MAHER: Let me ask you about another occupation, because this is – and you would be good on this too, panel -, the occupation, the Occupy Wall Street, because similar to Afghanistan, when you occupy anything for too long people do get pissed off. And as I watch them on the news now I find myself almost agreeing with Newt Gingrich. Like, you know what – get a job. Only because, you know, the people who originally started, I think they went home and now it’s just these anarchist stragglers. And this is the problem when you, you know, when your movement involves sleeping over in the park. You wind up attracting the people who were sleeping over in the park anyway.

Please adjust your nozzles accordingly.  That comment may come as a shock to any CBS watching diaper defiler, NPR latte enema-ed poser, or MSNBC kool-aid jello-shooter.

With your feeble attempts to play PR Ernie Pyles for Obama’s Army of unwashed Overcredentialed Under-educateds. Or your futile, shirt-wrenching efforts to plant victory gardens in the barren earth of these buy-now, pay-never Anarchists for greater state control.  The only thing that stood in the way of tilling such a fertile narrative was the immovable stone of Subject and the Content.

Were that we able to douche you out to sea with them.

Come on, feel the hopenchange.  After years of Bush’s go it alone unilateralism and disrespect for The Little People, the international love has finally lifted us up where we belong.  Oh, wait.

CAIRO — Egypt has banned the son of U.S. Transportation Secretary Ray LaHood and at least five other Americans from leaving the country, officials said Thursday, heightening tensions over an Egyptian investigation into groups that promote democracy and human rights.

The State Department’s highest human rights official, Michael Posner, said the move raised concerns about Egypt’s transition to democracy after Hosni Mubarak‘s ouster and could jeopardize badly needed American aid.