You know, geniuses. Like Chris Matthews. Not that dumb Sarah Palin woman.

How desperate is the “All-In” media to polish the turd of Obama’s re-election campaign?  Desperate enough to give top of the fold coverage to half a century old allegations of high school pranks.

Prepare yourself for the nastiest campaign in American history.  And look at that turd shine:

…this morning the Washington Post dropped what had to be an intentionally-timed bomb on presumptive nominee Mitt Romney. Within hours of Obama suddenly deciding to stop lying about his position on same-sex marriage, the Washington Post read Mitt Romney’s teenage mind,  found it anti-gay, and in a huge, attention-getting feature worked hand-in-hand with the Obama campaign to paint their likely challenger as a snooty, wealthy, homophobic, prep school bully.

This is the best they’ve got.

We’re to believe that Mitt The Mormon was running around like a “pack of wild dogs” at the same time that Obama was eating packs of wild dogs.  Guess which one is a five page Washington Post cover story?

Hey, now…didn’t Journolist’s founder work for the Washington Post?  Come to think of it, he still works for the Washington Post!

This screenshot from Memeorandum is the textbook definition of “I got the memo”:

Message received loud and clear.

After Obama’s Epic Fail on same-sex marriage, we have to change the subject to a half century old nontroversy that the bankrupt Washington Post has been keeping its powder dry on for who knows how long.

What’s a bigger story?  An alleged prank from 1965 or Obama’s cocaine use in the last twenty years?  A dog put in a kennel on top of a car or the President eating it?

Why can’t we know what classes Obama took in college?  Why can’t we know his GPA?  How is teenage Mitt Romney somehow fodder for major news outlets but Obama starting his career in the home of a domestic terrorist and spending 20 years in a racist crackpot’s church off-limits?

Old Media, just go out of business already.  The Emperor isn’t wearing any clothes and his only modesty is you covering up his pride with your mouth.

Who to believe?  A blind dissident of China’s one-child policy who has been incarcerated and both he and his family abused by the Chi-Com Nazis or Secretary of State Hillary Clinton whose husband exchanged US missile defense secrets for illegal campaign donations from China.

Quite a quandary.

Earlier today, those legendary defenders of democracy and the downtrodden at the US Embassy in China set the blind activist out on the front porch like Fred Flintstone did to the sabretoothed cat at the end of every episode.  Except by “front porch” I mean “into the waiting batons of the Chinese Army” and by “set out” I mean “kicked out on his ass”.

Enjoying your Smart Diplomacy yet?  A man is begging for his life at the US Embassy and we tell him to take a hike because we don’t want to offend our lead Creditor.  The borrower truly is slave to the lender.

Even after cowtowing to the petulant demands of the small penised tyrants, they still demand an apology.

We didn’t kick out the stray cat immediately so we need to apologize yet they send nuclear material and sell arms to every rogue regime in the world, sponsor hackers to engage in every level of corporate and diplomatic espionage against our country and businesses, protect every copyright infringing knock-off known to man and taint our internal domestic policies by setting record FEC fines for illegal campaign contributions to the Democratic Party.

And we’re supposed to apologize to them?

I used to think that Hillary Clinton had balls but now I can see that Obama emptied her scrotum out when he paid off her campaign debts.  She should have immediately turned around and gotten back on that plane after their vindictive prosecution of this non-violent activist.    But no:

U.S. Secretary of State Hillary Clinton said she is pleased U.S. officials were able to facilitate Chen’s stay and departure from the U.S. embassy “in a way that reflected his choices and our values.”

Your values are duly noted.  His “choices” as well:

The blind Chinese dissident who boldly fled house arrest and placed himself under the wing of U.S. diplomats balked Wednesday at a deal delicately worked out between the two countries to let him live freely in China, saying he now fears for his family
…

“Please help me, President Obama.  I need you to get me to America because these crazed sonsofbitches are going to kll me and my wife….argh…bzzt…*gurgle*…ahh..”

It broke off after that point.

That’s not exactly how it went but you can read between the lines.

“The embassy kept lobbying me to leave and promised to have people stay with me in the hospital, but this afternoon, as soon as I checked into the hospital room, I noticed they were all gone,” Chen told CNN by phone.

…

“I would like to say to President Obama: please do everything you can to get our family out,” Chen told CNN, according to a translation of his quote.

In the immortal words of Otter, “You fucked up.  You trusted us.”  It’s Animal House meets Animal Farm with this administration.

It has also been stated that State Department officials delivered the message from the Chinese government to Chen that his wife would be tortured  if he didn’t take his punishment like a man followed quickly by a “Here’s your cane.  What’s your hurry?”

The State Department insists that blind Chinese activist Chen Guangcheng left the U.S. Embassy of his own volition Wednesday and that U.S. officials in Beijing did not convey threats to harm his family by Chinese officials, as Chen claims.

“At no time did any US official speak to Chen about physical or legal threats to his wife and children. Nor did Chinese officials make any such threats to us,” said State Department Spokeswoman Victoria Nuland. ”U.S. interlocutors did make clear that if Chen elected to stay in the Embassy, Chinese officials had indicated to us that his family would be returned to [their home in] Shandong, and they would lose their opportunity to negotiate for reunification.”

Shandong is where the torture typically took place.  I guess as long as the Chinese government is only holding his family hostage in the place where the torture happens  and that he’ll never see them again that, by the legal definition, they did not say the words “We’re going to kill you and your family”.  Not technically.  It’s semantics all the same.

Either way we look terrible in this.  The tiny penised Chi-coms have lost “face” that they want to take out on us as if they really have any reputation worth saving and our State Department and Obama have thrown an innocent man and his family under the bus to placate the worst human rights abuser in the world.

Change!   Now let’s adopt that One Child Policy in the U.S. so we can stop polluting Mother Earth with the disease of humanity.

Want to know why the Obama Administration won’t stand up for this martyr?  Because they agree with the policy he is protesting against.  And while Google and Yahoo help to erase the man’s name from the Chinese internet with a degree intolerance for dissent that would make CREW cream in their jeans.

The WSJ has an opposing view and an overly optimistic one in my opinion of this as the desperate throes of the old regime terrified by a blind man.  I’m pretty sure I don’t want the Chi-Coms collapsing while we still live in ObamaWorld.

Do we really need the Muslim Brotherhood to take over there too?

It’s 3 A.M. at the White House.  The phone rings.  It’s your Secretary of State drunkenly calling you from a dance floor in Cartagena.

This could have been a disaster.

Luckily, the Secretes Service  finished nailing the hotel’s prostitutes early enough in the evening to swoop in and save her from the next Anna Chapman licking her down for information in the club’s crapper.

Yep.  The adults are in charge.  Don’t.  Stop.  Thinkin’ about your hangover tomorrow.

This misadministration is the equivalent of the L.A. looters circa 30 minutes after the Rodney King verdict.  They’re smashing the windows of our reputation and grabbing as many big screen tvs from the public coffers as they can because Darrell Issa can’t haul all of them in front of Congress at the same time can he?

For all of the talk about what poor, poor Obama inherited from George W. Bush, the one thing that he inherited that he totally didn’t deserve was a military that had been built up in spite of his voting record for eight years.  Perhaps I’m just showing my age here when I remember back to 2004 when John Kerry’s 90 day stint in Vietnam meant he was the only man qualified to the lead the country yet now, this manboy, who assiduously avoided military service and hates veterans is taking credit for the years of intelligence research that went into killing Bin Laden.  It was his gutsy call to sleep on it for 16 hours.

Punching Above His Weight: Little Man Sittin' At The Grown Ups Table

My guts are churning just thinking about it.

Organizing a 40 minute Navy Seal tactical strike  under the cover of darkness in the heart of a Pakistani military retiree town isn’t the same as organizing a bunch of union thugs and welfare queens to march on the local bank for the class crime of having credit standards.

Barack Hussein Obama did not “get” Osama bin Laden – George Bush’s military did in spite of him.

Some of the Seals are starting to complain about being used as campaign props.  That’s to be expected the ungrateful mofos that they are.  Do all the heavy lifting and get the shaft whenever it’s brought up.  Obama’s “generally proud of them” some of the time when they can be used.  Or in that special way that can only be appreciated by a Nobel Peace Prize winner with a precision guided team of elite soldiers whose budgets he constantly longs to cut so that rich Georgetown sluts don’t have to raid their Starbucks fund to abort tomorrow’s adderal addicts.

But does anyone think for a second that Obama contributed anything more to the Assassination of Bin Laden other than not saying “no”?

Unlike a beagle slathered in barbecue sauce, Obama’s fingerprints are not on the Seal team Pakistani raid of bin Laden’s slut compound filled with Just for Men, jackin’ rags and flash drives waiting to be leaked to the media before any actionable intel could be used against his network.

No, his fingerprints are all over Bin Laden’s politically correct and religiously sensitive rushed burial at sea so that the Islamic world (who doesn’t buy into al Qaeda’s message at all because it’s a religion of peace) didn’t have another reason to hate us.  Newspapers can gladly publish pics of US troops posing with dead terrorists but we can’t see the corpse of their leader brought to ballistic justice.

It’s not like we spent, oh, a trillion dollars and thousands of lives to find him after all.

That is Classic Obama.  Ensuring that the man who killed thousands of Americans is given a level of respect that he didn’t deserve to placate the heathens from rioting in the streets of the Middle East.  It took guts to spit in the face of 350 million Americans, give or take 3200 of them, to give Bin Laden a proper funeral instead of dragging him back to the land he attacked to swing from a beam in front of Ground Zero as a message to the scum of the Earth.

Gutsy call, indeed.  In that moment, you showed the world exactly where your sympathies lied.  You couldn’t control his capture but you could certainly kiss his ass in front of the world after he was dead.

UPDATED 4/18: Nugent feels as persecuted as a poodle at an Obama Ramadan feast. Or something slightly less inflammatory.*

No, not really.  Just the usual suspects hyperventilating deep breaths into their man panties in hopes that the Secretes Service can raise their glazed maws from the line of fresh cocaine and inviting chlamydia of underaged  Colombian gape enough to paint Mitt Romney as some headbanging denim demon.

The only reason why the Secretes Getting Serviced would be investigating Nugent would be because they thought there would be some Wang Dang Sweet Poontang around (link not safe for Think Progress).

Back and to the left.  Back and to the left.  Oh yea.  That’s the spot.

A spokesman for the Secret Service tells us, “We are aware of it, and we’ll conduct an appropriate follow up.”

Appropriate meaning “roto-rooter” or appropriate as in “It’s Ted Nugent and we’ll alert Jimmy Carter of a situation?”

It’s doubtful Mittens will be naming Nugent as Surgeon General of Metal Health but it’s good that the Democommies are giving him this chance to remake his image as something other than Wednesday Night Mormon Jubilee choir.

Thanks, dickholes.

Me?  I’m still waiting for the coveted Dave Mustaine endorsement.

4/12 Update:  Derby Badger don’t care what you think and isn’t apologizing.  So n’yah.

Eric Holder infamously said, I’m paraphrasing here, that we’re a nation of cowards because we will not discuss race in this country.  After the John Derbyshire pogrom conducted this weekend, who can blame us?  He wanted to start a conversation in Taki Mag and what resulted was the usual reflexive cries of racism from the Left and the completely predictable rush to distance themselves from the hint of controversy from the Establishment Right.

So the stain of having Derbyshire work for NRO for all of these years is wiped away by his Shirley Sherrod-esque termination?  Vox Day was right.  This was a true profile in courage by the NRO crowd in between their apple-tinis. It’s like NRO is edited by a legion of David Frums.

In the piece, Derbyshire (whom I only ever previously read his “Impromptus” column at NRO  correction:  I never read Derbyshire – ed.) proposes a fictitious “talk” that white parents should have with their children about and around the “complexities” shall we say in dealing with blacks in this country.  Oh, you have “a talk”???  What a coincidence!  We have a talk as well.  Not terribly unlike the “talk” blacks have been having with their children about how everybody and the system conspires against them.  Which is worse?  Rather, which is least socially acceptable?

We have our answer.  Goose, gander, sauce, et. al?  Not quite.  One is celebrated as an unfortunate necessity and rite of passage in the New York Times and the other is heresy and professional suicide though in many ways they are both rooted in the same self-preservational prejudices.

Does no one remember Je$$e Jackson’s old comment about how, at his age, he feels relief to discover that it’s a white person walking behind him down the street rather than a black person?  Obviously a self-hating racist.

This is certainly not an endorsement of everything in Derbyshire’s column which I would label as intentionally provocative and many portions that I do not agree with at all but as long as everyone is having “the talk” let’s agree that there are two sides to that conversation.  Blacks have a reason to fear the police.  We all do.   No one cares when police abuse white people though.

Oh poor, pitiful white person.  Are those police abusing your rights?  Here.  Let’s sit down with Oprah and talk about how bad whites have it in this country.  That’s how that conversation would go should anyone pursue it.  Which they won’t.

On the other hand, Derb engaged the statistical side of where the real victims are in terms of racial violence in this country.  Whether you’re yellow, white, black, beige or magenta – you are more likely to be victimized by someone who looks just like you the majority of the time.  The myth of white on black violence pales to the reality of black on white violence as everyone saw in the Christian-Newsome murders which did not warrant even a fraction of the attention of the Trayvon Martin case despite being two torture murders over the course of days with a level of cruelty reserved for a snuff film at the hands of subhuman filth that are now getting a new trial because the judge was a pillhead.  Where’s Je$$e and Al and Ben Jealous for this one?

Derbyshire laid his prejudices out on the table as an open invitation to a discussion.  Not seeking converts or acceptance.   If this nation is a country of cowards because we won’t talk about race, Derbyshire’s firing is evidence that it’s not because we won’t talk about race but that we can’t because the politically correct powers that be come after your job first and an honest discussion of the issues never.

Somehow, Derb didn’t think to put that point on his list.

Meanwhile, Al Sharpton was invited to White House for Easter today.  Because provocative, potentially racist opinions are not tolerated in polite society in this day and age.

Hey kids, it’s time to download the newest app!

Help the Angry Libs to knock down oppressive structures like Churches, Hospitals and Universities, because the pigs know that you can’t make an omelet without breaking a few eggs!

I just can’t quit the Buffet

That’s a hoot. But not as much of a hoot as Corinne’s latest ramblings…

I know that’s right!

Because evidently dead 17 year olds are just the kind of biofuel running Obama’s 2012 campaign.  Based on the comment threads I’ve read, and watching David Pfluffer on Meet the Press, if Obama can start at the toes and roll his way up to Trayvon Martin’s eyes he should be able to squeeze enough political mileage out of his corpse to get 98% of the black vote or more.

All the commies are talking about it and all the people on the right are talking about the way the commies are talking about it.

I get it.  A Latino neighborhood watch leader is accused of being white so that his shooting of an unarmed black teenager will give the black community an excuse to riot over anything not related to the way Obama has totally screwed them all over economically for the last 3 years.  Really, I get it.  It’s a wonderful distraction to galvanize the black vote and poison the well with race before this next election.

If I were a post-partisan, post-racial Earth Healer / attorney I would definitely interject my opinion that what happened in Florida was a hate crime and encourage my friends in the Black Panther Party to put up $10k to kidnap and murder the alleged cracker before the case goes to trial.  Better yet, just post his address and hope some hotheads shoot at the right house like Spike Lee has suggested.  That’s just what calm, cool and collective community organizers bring to the table.

With the proper cross-branding, The Trash Can Through The Burning Storefront Toss can get funding from Michelle Obama’s Move360 program and hold a voter registration drive at the same time.  Can’t let a crisis go to waste someone once said.

Like the Jena 6, Duke Lacrosse and Tawana Brawley, we are a much better country thanks to the awareness raised by ginning up fake hate crimes charges if the alleged victim is the correct color.  Usually a President doesn’t take the time to note the hue of the victim and to what degree they fall in the spectrum near a color that he’s more comfortable looking at in the mirror but these are post-racial times my friends.

If you do not look like Trayvon Martin, you will be given the opportunity to self-lynch and all carbon taxes will be waived if you act now.

From the top one percenter, human stunt blob Harvey Weinstein:

Top Hollywood producer and Obama bundler Harvey Weinstein attend the White House state dinner last night and had nothing but wonderful things to say about the president.

“I’m so thrilled he’s running for reelection, he’s done a fantastic job, and he’s the most underestimated president I’ve seen,” Weinstein said, according to the pool report. “He’s too humble, and his accomplishments far outweigh his esteem, but people will learn that in time.”

This was his “humility” before Day One in office.   Safe to say, his modesty has grown at a rate exponential to our economy under his watch.

Should we ever expect less from the 4th Greatest President of All Time and future point guard of the Chicago Bulls?  Not unless they change their name to the Chicago Bullshit.

Then he could be the owner.  Elect him to the Hall of Fame before the first game.  Put his face on the jerseys.  Provide that everyone learns to distribute the ball evenly and is allowed to take the same number of shots.  Indeed, pay all of the players the exact same amount.  When they lose, he can praise their effort as the model of efficiency right before they file for bankruptcy.

February 28, 2011

But when his presidency ends, Mr. Obama knows exactly what car he wants to buy as his post-presidential ride — a plug-in Chevrolet Volt. “Five years from now when I’m not president anymore, I’ll buy one and drive it myself,” Obama promised 1,600 auto workers at a United Auto Workers union event in Detroit on Tuesday. “Yes, that’s right,” he reiterated, accompanied by deafening applause.

What a piping hot load. Did a cow shit in here? No, it’s just another Obama speech. Predictably, empty promises mouthed to either a bunch of enthusiastic sloped-foreheaded union knuckledraggers or equally enthralled 5th year community college retards en route to till the debt fields for the next 15 years of their miserable McDonald’s slinging lives.  *arf!* *arf!*  to deafening applause.

Would I like fries with that?  Oh, yes you can – add that to my order.

Less than a week later:

Chevy’s electric car, the Volt, is running on empty. With sales lagging and inventories building, GM has decided to idle production of the Chevy Volt for five weeks. During that time, about 1,300 workers will temporarily be laid off.

Because if there’s one thing Obama’s full of more than shit, it’s himself.  I can understand Weinstein’s confusion considering the striking resemblance.

So, in today’s leftist media culture, you’re not allowed to call a slut a slut, but you’re free to mock tornado victims as “greasy spots” on the highway getting smashed by their “God”. Thank goodness there’s no double-standard in the media or these loving leftists might get really nasty one day.

It’s hard not to wish ill upon a sick, diseased soul such as this, but I shall try to refrain. (or at least I’ll refrain from typing it)

UPDATE: Apparently this guy gets off on trying to make a name for himself via making “shocking” statements. Here he is celebrating Andrew Breitbart’s death. I guess this is how the talentless try to get attention.

Is there something magic about going from $3.50 a gallon to $4.00?  I always thought that would have happened at $2.00 a gallon but I evidently underestimated the magnitude of revolving credit Americans were willing to taken on for their cars without stopping off at Home Depot to buy pitchforks and propane torches.

Enter stage Far Left.  The “I Can Invent A Reason To Force You To Buy Everyone Else’s Medical Insurance” President suddenly is helpless in the face of the gas prices that he encouraged.  Get out your bicycle pumps, everybody.  This whole thing can be solved by properly inflating your tires and getting a tune-up:

During an event at the University of Miami, Mr. Obama will discuss the steps the country can take to tackle what the White House sees as an annual cycle of spikes in gas prices, the officials said. At the same time, these officials, who briefed reporters Tuesday on the president’s plans, acknowledged that there is almost nothing the president can do in the near term to lower gas prices.

I’ve lived a couple of years now and “the annual cycle of spikes in gas prices” has never been this bad.

Cut off the gas card to Air Force One and the 22 limousine caravan and see how quick that changes.

The administration officials brushed off the brewing political storm over rising gas prices as an annual affair bolstered by media hysteria. They said the White House anticipated the current spike in gas prices, which they attribute to increased demand around the world, particularly from China.

Has the media been “hysterical” about gas prices?  Up until last week they’ve comatose on the subject of gas prices for three years.  If even one of them had showed anything resembling Terry Schiavo-level animation it would have been nothing short of miraculous.   Under Bush they were apoplectic over $1.80 gas.

Funny how China has increased demand and they make moves to buy Canada’s ethical oil that Obama rejected.  He did reject it, right?

February 6, 2012

On Monday, Stephen Harper, the prime minister of Canada, traveled to China for a week of high-level meetings.  He brought with him a handful of his cabinet ministers, including Joe Oliver, his tough-talking minister of natural resources who, until recently, had been withering in his scorn for the opponents of the Keystone XL oil pipeline, which President Obama rejected a few weeks ago.  The pipeline, of course, was intended to transport vast oil reserves in Alberta to the American refineries on the Gulf of Mexico.

Magic Chi-coms!  No comprehensive energy policy there.  You have something I need so I approach you to buy it with money in my hand.

So Canada thinks that Obama rejected the pipeline.  The environmentally-ill whackjobs take credit for Obama rejecting the pipeline.  Republicans brought it up for a vote several times and Obama rejected the pipeline.  And Obama brags about rejecting the pipeline.

Because the sheer volume of his bullshit is shovel-ready enough to bring the unemployment rate to 0%.  Earlier today in the Cuckoobirdland that is the White House Press Corps / Stenography Pool:

TAPPER: How can you say you have an all-of-the-above approach if the president turned down the Keystone pipeline? And you blame the Republicans for making a political –

CARNEY: But the president didn’t turn down the Keystone pipeline.

This is why no lawyers should ever be President.

“There are no magic solutions to rising oil prices and the pain that Americans feel at the pump,” Carney said.

He’s right about that.  Magic solutions are for healing the earth and stopping the tides from rising with rainbow marshmallows shooting out of a unicorn ass.  It’s not fucking magic to be energy independent through oil.  You either drill it yourself or you buy it from somebody who is friendly to your interests.  You’ve shut down the refineries, lived up to your campaign promise of putting the coal companies out of business and then act shocked when poor and middle-class people can’t afford gas to go to work assuming you haven’t killed their job yet.

Duh, you’re getting three years of welfare so you don’t have to go to yucky work. Between childcare and 25-30% of your take home pay going to the gas tank it doesn’t make sense to go to work and thanks to neverending unemployment benefits – you don’t have to!  You’re welcome.

Who’s up for moving to Australia?  By my count, Mad Max should have been born already and it’s only a matter of time before he joins The Bronze with the last of the V-8 Interceptors.

But it turns out Planned Parenthood didn’t like competing with the Komen foundation’s research for the milky tit of it’s supporters.  Who knew that the group that murders innocent babies for their sumptuous pelts could be so duplicitous?

Karen Handel really doesn’t like Planned Parenthood.

The former Komen Foundation exec – who resigned over a funding dispute with the nation’s largest abortion provider – is lashing out against Planned Parenthood, calling the organization a “gigantic bully.”

In an interview with the Daily Beast, Handel contends Planned Parenthood reneged on a secret deal to keep quiet about the breast cancer charity’s decision to cut off funding to the organization.

You mean the people who brought you abortions without parental notifications can’t keep a secret?

She argued Planned Parenthood made it a political issue, launching a premeditated attack against Komen – something Planned Parenthood denies.

“Planned Parenthood is a gigantic bully, using Komen as its own personal punching bag,” she added.

*sniff*

Quit complaining lady.  You got off easy.  When their doctors show up at your door drunk with a butcher knife and a shop-vac then you should worry.

She said Komen met with Planned Parenthood reps in December and there was a “ladies’ agreement” to end $680,000 worth of grants to pay for breast exams for poor women, and that no one would go to the press about their breakup.

Planned Parenthood claimed it was taken completely by surprise by Komen’s decision to end their funding relationship.

The decision created a backlash of criticism, and complaints subsequently helped Planned Parenthood rake in $3 million in reaction.

I’ve supported the Komen folks for the better part of the last decade with time and cash.  Count me out for your future.  I hope your donors, like your tits, will dry up and fall off for killing at least half of all of tomorrow’s future breasts today.

That’s certainly one way to beat breast cancer.

Were that these berzerker hobos lying-in-wait “islands to themselves”.  Diminishing the 99% with each douche-tastic display.

Needless to say, when you’ve lost a white, vinegary Leftist like Bill Maher – your baggeth runneth over (sausage link to Noel Sheppard at the invaluable NewsBusters):

‘Baggin’ It

BILL MAHER: Let me ask you about another occupation, because this is – and you would be good on this too, panel -, the occupation, the Occupy Wall Street, because similar to Afghanistan, when you occupy anything for too long people do get pissed off. And as I watch them on the news now I find myself almost agreeing with Newt Gingrich. Like, you know what – get a job. Only because, you know, the people who originally started, I think they went home and now it’s just these anarchist stragglers. And this is the problem when you, you know, when your movement involves sleeping over in the park. You wind up attracting the people who were sleeping over in the park anyway.

Please adjust your nozzles accordingly.  That comment may come as a shock to any CBS watching diaper defiler, NPR latte enema-ed poser, or MSNBC kool-aid jello-shooter.

With your feeble attempts to play PR Ernie Pyles for Obama’s Army of unwashed Overcredentialed Under-educateds. Or your futile, shirt-wrenching efforts to plant victory gardens in the barren earth of these buy-now, pay-never Anarchists for greater state control.  The only thing that stood in the way of tilling such a fertile narrative was the immovable stone of Subject and the Content.

Were that we able to douche you out to sea with them.

Take that, Newter.  Between Bob Dole and National Review, Romney’s got the limp dick vote all wrapped up:

Dole Goes Nuclear

By NRO Staff

January 26, 2012 12:46 P.M.

The Romney campaign sends along a statement by Bob Dole pasted below. Relations between Dole — an establishment figure in the party — and Gingrich were well known to be tense during the 1990s. Here it is:

I have not been critical of Newt Gingrich but it is now time to take a stand before it is too late. If Gingrich is the nominee it will have an adverse impact on Republican candidates running for county, state, and federal offices. Hardly anyone who served with Newt in Congress has endorsed him and that fact speaks for itself. He was a one-man-band who rarely took advice. It was his way or the highway.

Half-dead zombies don’t muster “nuclear” very well.   At best, he can shit his pants and make us all really uncomfortable as he keeps talking and we pretend not to notice.  I’m not a Newt fan by a long stretch but the flood the zone coverage of the establishment right in attacking him just makes me hate Romney more.

Is having the endorsements of the GOP sellouts, paid shills, Brooks Brothers, nancyboys, washed up has-beens and soft-cocked never-were’s the fell blow struck by Team Mittens?

NRO Staff Meeting:  Since we’re out of dick pills, who wants a back rub?

What’s it going to take to get us to buy this used, liberal Masshole.

I’ll tell you what.  I want Mitt Romney to take his starched shirt off.  Take it off. If there’s no magic underwear beneath that suit, I’ll vote for Team Romney.

Because there’s no pill or argument that’s going to make that oddity seem somehow electable.

18 debates and not one question of any depth about Mormonism.  Who’s being setup for the fall?

This is apparently a feature and not a bug of Smart Diplomacy.

Come on, feel the hopenchange.  After years of Bush’s go it alone unilateralism and disrespect for The Little People, the international love has finally lifted us up where we belong.  Oh, wait.

CAIRO — Egypt has banned the son of U.S. Transportation Secretary Ray LaHood and at least five other Americans from leaving the country, officials said Thursday, heightening tensions over an Egyptian investigation into groups that promote democracy and human rights.

The State Department’s highest human rights official, Michael Posner, said the move raised concerns about Egypt’s transition to democracy after Hosni Mubarak‘s ouster and could jeopardize badly needed American aid.

Apologies for the delay on the SOTU coverage.  It took me a while to get through vomiting blood out of my earballs long enough to find my equilibrium.

So…pretty good speech, huh?

That deafening silence and lack of applause that the casual observer might have noticed during the entire 65 minute speech was quickly filled by Fox News talking heads falling all over themselves about what a great, evenhanded, non-partisan speech that Jugears immaculated from his ice cream hole.  Which was then followed by The Pale Rider himself, Indiana Gov. and wannabe Presidential candidate Mitch Daniels, delivering the Republican address congratulating the Obamessiah for upholding such strong moral values (hint-hint Not like that Newt Gingrich character).

What planet are we on?  You’re attacking a Republican candidate in the primary in the rebuttal to a Communist’s speech on expanding government into every sector of our lives.  Just for that, you can take a leap Daniels. Forever.

And who can forget the illegal alien babies?!?!  If we deport them, it’s like we’re deporting a million, little beige Einsteins.   Or, given all of the love for Apple’s departed leader – another Steve Yobs.   “American to their core”.  Central American – maybe.  Rocket scientists and world-renowned future oncologists every single one.  We can’t let that kind of talent getaway.  Can we perhaps interest you in a free college education?

In the vein of the recently converted Ann Coulter, Charles Krauthammer and a host of others beltway insiders, who any 2010 version of yourself would know to hate Obama to his core, we can count on being pre-emptively lectured and hectored about “not being extremists” because we’ve got to win those moderates with Team Mittens.  What a “bipartisan” speech it was.  Battered Wife Syndrome is alive and well in the Republican Party.  You’re so used to how bad Obama is that if he whispers some sweet, bipartisan nothings in your ear that you’re ready to roll your wheelchair into oncoming traffic for him.  I’m not sure if Sister Wife-in-training Ann really saw the speech yet since she’s been too occupied flashing her beef curtains to Mitt and Chris Christie.  If it’s not wagyu, Obama’s not watching honey.

The ham-fisted rhetorical setups about government watching over farmers spilling their milk soon followed by moronic Republicans slapping their hands together in agreement so quickly dashed by the cocked right fist demanding stricter drilling laws and greater dependence on foreign oil.  Seriously.  You fall for that shit?   This speech was 8th grade agitprop at best but the Republican response makes Obama look like he’s playing Star Trek Tri-Dimensional Chess while they stick their tiny little dicks in a fan.  Obamacare is going to have massive cost overruns if Republican figure out that “neuticle” surgeries are covered to implant fake balls in their empty scrotums.

Forcing the Navy to buy biofuel, that we subsidized to create, at a cost of four times that of regular fuel is screwing us both ways.  I half expected him to say that we would bring American jobs back from China to manufacture sails to put on our battleships and aircraft carriers to make them Greener(tm).  But alas, no.  Paying four times current fuel prices for biofuels is way more expensive than making sails and we’ve got money to burn.  I thought Congress had the power of the purse.  Turns out they just like holding a purse because it matches their pumps.

This was not the State of the Union Address.  It was a campaign speech, complete with wincing, Rob Schneider-esque “We Can Do It!” pablum.    Now onto the battleground states for three days where the corpse of Osama Bin Laden will be his running mate and the Do Nothing 1/4th of Congress Republicans starring as his whipping boys as his un-American audiences cheer his aspirations to govern above Congress and the Judiciary in his last year in office.

If you voted for this.  You should be sterilized.  My only comfort now is that your messiah has succeeded in convincing you to “fulfill your dreams” by aborting all of your children.

In fairness, I don’t really know if you would be fulfilling your dreams (like Obama said) by aborting your future Democrat kids.  But you’re certainly fulfilling mine.  So, carry on.

And left about November 4th.

You tell me. Are you better off now than you were 4 years ago?

Obama Headquarters on Rosa Parks Boulevard – October 7, 2008

I think about this every day when I drive by this prime piece of real estate a stone’s throw from the state capitol and across the street from the Farmer’s Market.  Three and a half years later.

Elections have consequences

Lots of consequences

He’s like King Midas.  Except that everything he touches turns to shit.

Who does this strip mall think it is doing impersonations of a White House event for CEOs?

Something tells me if some of these people were standing in line looking for a job and not sitting outside of a mall waiting for some Chinese made sneakers with a multi-hundred millionaire’s name on them that their families would be considerably better off:

Louisville, Ky. (WDRB) – Witnesses say Louisville Metro Police had to break up a fight early today at Jefferson Mall over the release of a new style of sneakers.

Officers were on the scene where witnesses told WDRB that 75 to 100 people were reportedly in a fight over pairs of the new Air Jordan Eleven Retro Concords.

One witness claimed that a security guard was trampled by the crowd waiting for several shoe stores to open early. That claim could not be independently verified, as WDRB News was not allowed inside the mall.

At least eight police cars were on scene. Sources with the mall claim they were already there to provide security.

From the Keynesian / Krugmaniac  perspective, look at all of the jobs this melee helped to create or save.  The riot police called in to maintain order and make arrests (plus overtime!), the booking agents who would log them into the jail, the ambulance drivers who would pick up the wounded, the therapists who could counsel them,  the locksmith to prepare new fences for the stores and the janitors to clean up the blood.  And, of course, the welfare office who cut the checks that allowed these folks with such misplaced priorities to use their cash on hand for something this important to begin.

This riot is probably the greatest thing to happen to this particular strip mall since October 2008.

“I got the love for the ‘Js,’ you feel me?” said Brandon Betts, a customer who purchased the shoes. ”Look at the box! The box is cold!”

“Man it’s crazy in there: people getting run over and security guards getting trampled and stuff,” he added. “They almost tried to arrest us!”

Sources with the Mall deny that there was a fight and say no police report was made out.

Correction:  No jobs were created for booking agents logging anyone into a jail for these various felonies.  And from North Carolina:

PINEVILLE, NC (WBTV) – Dozens of police officers had to break up fights and restore order at a local mall while shoppers were waiting for an overnight sale of a popular tennis shoe.

WTF is it about tennis shoes?  They don’t make you jump any higher or run faster.  Michael Jordan retired from basketball almost a decade ago.  Now, this could just be the cracker in me talking, but are tennis shoes important enough to add another candle to the Kwanzaa menorah?

You’ve got Umoja, Kujichagulia, Ujima, Ujamaa, Nia, Kuumbaa, Imani and Air Jordans.  Air Jordans being the last candle.  The highest.  The culmination of all of your race-based collectivist couch-sweating labors.

In a related story, Eric “We’re Cowards On Race” Holder brought a federal lawsuit against South Carolina today for daring to ask voters to show some form of identification in order to vote:

The Justice Department on Friday entered the divisive national debate over new state voting laws, rejecting South Carolina’s measure requiring photo-identification at the polls as discriminatory against minority voters.The decision by Justice’s Civil Rights Division could heighten political tensions over the new laws, which critics say could depress turnout among minorities and others who helped elect President Obama in 2008.A dozen states this year passed laws requiring voters to present state-issued photo identification, according to the National Conference of State Legislatures.

Just how is this related to a story about people rioting over Christmas tennis shoes?  Maybe because if showing some form of official ID to vote was such a hardship that all of these people standing in line to pay $200 for a pair of tennis shoes could, I dunno, take their Granny or Auntie to the DMV to get a $15 driver’s license.  The wait would be less too as well as not being out in the cold.

Voting with Their Feet:

Do Blacks care more about tennis shoes than their right to vote?

 In Tennessee, we have to show a government issued photo ID to buy 8 tablets of Sudafed and enter our names in a DEA Registry if we want to effectively combat allergy season.  Yet, somehow, exercising your right to vote – the ultimate franchise – shouldn’t require anything more than showing up at the poll of your choice several times a day and show nothing save the cartons of cigarettes and “walking around money” that Eric Holder gave your preacher.

Taking time away from his busy schedule of murdering border agents, funneling illegal arms to and money laundering for Mexican drug cartels, AG Holder had these comments earlier this month regarding those who have an entire year to figure out a way to get a Photo ID in between their hectic tennis shoe rioting schedule:

Holder expressed concern about the new laws in the Dec. 13 address, saying: “Are we willing to allow this era – our era – to be remembered as the age when our nation’s proud tradition of expanding the franchise ended?’’

At the same time, Holder vowed to not let politics affect his department’s review. “We’re doing this in a very fair, apolitical way,’’ he said in a recent interview with The Washington Post. “We don’t want anybody to think that there is a partisan component to anything we are doing.’’

Of course, not.  Politics plays no part whatsoever in  suing those racists in red states for affirming the identity of their voters and preventing fraud at the polls using the same standard as buying a six-pack of beer or cigarettes.

And if you believe that, I have some Black Panthers standing outside of a voting station  in Philadelphia to sell you.

Everyone has a right to free education!
Yeah!!!!!
Everyone has the right to free healthcare!
Preach it brother!!
Everyone has the right to internet access!
Woo hoo!
Everyone has the right to some of your doobage!
Woah, bro, step off! I HAVE weed.

I know the Occupiers like to blame the fringe for acts of rape and murder, but when you’re throwing a party dedicated to tearing down the “system”, well you can’t be surprised by the arrival of folks who actually live that message. This movement has more fringes than a tacky faux Persian rug.

These comfy white kids and their liberal enablers in the media play pantomime revolution. My concern is that out of the mess comes another Bill Ayers or John Kerry type. As history shows, the “masses” generate chaos and in steps a person of privilege who fills the vacuum with something much worse than our imperfect republic. Not that I think this little hissy fit is Russia 1917 waiting for its Lenin, but it is the same pattern and should it come to pass, all the limousine liberals in Hollywood won’t be spared. But it is fun for now for to indulge in peasant populism.

They’re anarchists for statism, wild free-spirited youth demanding more and more total government control of every aspect of life — just so long as it respects the fundamental human right to sloth.

Mark Steyn

Please knock it off. You entitled, obnoxious, self-righteous brats and burnouts do not represent us.

- 99% of “the 99%”.

I know that sympathy for this cause is found mostly from the wealthy liberals and the media, or as they’re also known, folks who don’t have to smell them. However, I think that the majority of us who comprise the actual 99% don’t really appreciate them. I just hope that the media, in trying to glorify the parasites, cement their and the Democratic party’s fate to them. Come election time, we working-class stiffs will clearly see which party rewards those who produce and who rewards those who not only consume, but doesn’t give you so much as a “thank you”.

Congresswoman Marsha Blackburn warns the bikers over their carbon emissions.

Live simulcast starts at 1PM CST through the official We Stand With Gibson site.

What is it about American Exceptionalism that the soon-to-be ex-President Urkel H. Anti-Christ, Jr. hates so much?  Much like the impetus for the astroturfed “Occupy Wall Street” mob scenes, it has a lot to do with whether your check cleared the DNC.  Like the radio payola scandals, it also appears that federal agents are taking requests with mercenary aplomb from the far Left end of your dial.

The abbreviated version is that earlier this year Obama’s eco-stormtroopers at the hilariously misnamed US Dept. of Fish and Wildlife attacked the guitar manufacturer during a daring daylight raid, guns draw on employees, out of fear that Gibson’s inventory of awesome would have been flushed down their toilets had they simply knocked on the door with a search warrant.

Makes you proud to be an American, doesn’t it?  I mean it’s not selling automatic weapons to Mexican Drug Cartels in order to pin gang violence on US gun owners but it’s a nice touch.

At issue seems to be that Gibson employs documented American citizens to do some fit and finish work on the wood used in their instruments.  Americans who should be drawing patriotic unemployment checks. 

In an interview with Beck radio affiliate KMJ 105.9 in Fresno, California, Juszkiewicz told host Chris Daniel that the government made the point “explicitly:”

CHRIS DANIEL:  Mr. Juszkiewicz, did an agent of the US government suggest to you that your problems would go away if you used Madagascar labor instead of American labor?

HENRY JUSZKIEWICZ:  They actually wrote that in a pleading.

CHRIS DANIEL:  Excuse me?

HENRY JUSKIEWICZ:   They actually wrote that in a pleading.

CHRIS DANIEL:  That your problems would go away if you used Madagascar labor instead of our labor?

HENRY JUSKIEWICZ:  Yes, yeah. They said that explicitly.

It’s not that the wood is harvested from the Tree of Souls from Avatar though if it were it would probably rock your face off and simultaneously get your cats pregnant.  And it’s not that a foreign government lodged a complaint.  No, US Fish and Wildlife decided to pro-actively enforce another country’s laws and pervert one of our own when the other country did not think it was a problem.  Gee, I wonder why.

One of Gibson’s leading competitors is C.F. Martin & Company. The C.E.O., Chris Martin IV, is a long-time Democratic supporter, with $35,400 in contributions to Democratic candidates and the DNC over the past couple of election cycles. According to C.F. Martin’s catalog, several of their guitars contain “East Indian Rosewood.” In case you were wondering, that is the exact same wood in at least ten of Gibson’s guitars.

The Gibson facility wasn’t raided over allegations of tax evasion, charges of embezzlement, or even something as drab as child labor. Not even close. It was raided over what the DOJ deems an inability to follow a vague domestic trade law in India (one that apparently the Indian government didn’t seem too concerned about enforcing) regarding a specific type of wood. Not illegal wood, just wood with obscenely specific procedural guidelines.

While armed federal agents assert prosecutorial discretion to enforce another country’s protectionist laws.  We all know what this is.  The same thing that happened to car dealerships that contributed to Republicans after the bailout.  The same thing that happened to Ford when the White House demanded that they retract their anti-bailout commercials.

The Chicago Way may be fine for blues music and deep dish pizza but it’s  un-American in a Presidency.

Everybody lend your support to this international icon today being forced to decide whether they should  layoff all of it’s US employees to stay in the good graces of our Gangster Government or fight the good fight until this administration is thrown out on its red diaper rash in 13 months.
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B-Mac Update: (more…)

There you have it; white kids pissed off at a symbolic mom and dad who never gave them what they thought was owed to them.

By the way, isn’t the raucous activism of the disaffected and unemployed at the very heart of “community organizing”? Nice to see the circle of life complete itself.

You want to help the children right? Only a heartless Rethuglikkan Teabagger would gut government spending. Because as we all know from watching Good Morning America, the government does nothing but help the disadvantaged and employ first responders.

I mean, if you work for the government to help the disadvantaged realize the dream of home ownership or care for children, then the noblest of hearts must beat in your chest, no?

And, if you run a non-profit called After School Matters, what kind of b*stard would you be if you denied them a nickel in funding? Well, you’d probably be the b*stard who would be run out of town for indicting the mayor of Chicago for directing kickbacks to his wife’s organization.

(sirloin tips to Doug Ross)