The answer, unsurprisingly, is running down his chin.

This one might qualify as the Quote of The Day in a day full of them:

The other side says that our rights come from G0d, not from government. That while the government has an obligation to promote the general welfare, it doesn’t have a holy writ to design the nation as it sees fit. The Constitution is not a coupon insert in your local paper, brimming with all sorts of giveaways and two-for-one deals. The Constitution and the Bill of Rights delineate what the government cannot do, not what it can. What was so fantastic and revolutionary about that is that for the first time in history, a nation was founded on the proposition that the government should mind its own business. Believing that doesn’t make you a fascist, it makes you a patriot.

Sure, Jonah.  A patriot (****pfffftttt****).

A Real Patriot ™ picks up his Bosca legal briefcase and delivers inflammatory material to Gitmo detainees so that they’ll attack their guards.  And then goes to work for The Justice Department to attack the guards from inside the system.

It’s time to quit assuming that the Democratic Party are just a bunch of people with different opinions.  The vast majority of them are traitors and quintessentially un-American.  They’re about a Bic lighter away from burning down a Reichstag to get socialist healthcare.

Odds are that they’ll try to pin it on Michelle Bachman.

Meanwhile, Vice-Retard Biding lets the mask of fascism slip:

You know we’re going to control the insurance companies.  You know people aren’t going to lose their health care with their employer like is being advertised.

Wiser minds clearly disagree with Scranton’s most successful hair plug aficionado.

And the saddest part of all is that limp wrists like Lispy Graham are panting like dogs in heat at the prospect of The Cock of Bipartisanship popping into his gloryhole of compromise.

It wasn’t de Tocqueville who said that the American republic will endure until Congress realizes it can bribe the public with the public’s money but that doesn’t make it any less true.

If this legislative abortion somehow comes to term it is the end of this country as we’ve known it since it’s inception.  Every future election will be a referendum on “those bad guys who want to take your healthcare away” as it’s expanded and expanded until crashes through the floor under the weight of it’s bureaucratic girth.  You know, within two or three years after it starts having to pay out.

Not to worry.  The people will break it’s fall and suffocate to death as it keeps jamming a diverse rainbow of crony cupcakes in it’s abysmal maw.

This makes for bad TV and even worse civilization.

From Meet The Press this morning.  You ain’t from around here is ya?

Jan. 11, 2010:  “I am a New Yorker, I am a New Yorker, I am a New Yorker.”

Drudge is trumpeting Gore’s re-emergence from his Tennessee burrow, where he saw his shadow and predicted six more years of Global Alarmism.

You must give this guy credit for not just shrinking into the metaphorical snowbank and hiding in the middle of our coldest wettest winter in decades. Nope, he’s either a true believer or is too invested to simply disappear. But it does take some amazing cajones and the shamelessness that can only come with a life in “public service” to pull it off.

By choosing the NYT, Gore gets to preach to the converted. He trots out the same fear-mongering but this time has to play some defense in light of the scams perpetuated by East Anglia and the IPCC.

Let the fisking begin!

So speaketh the prophet for whom every prophecy has been met by divine mockery.

Moving on to glossing over intentional misdirection and vicious partisanship:

An embarrassed IPCC head Rajendra Pachauri reveals the source of the IPCC study, “Global Warming will destroy cash crops”

Wow, I wish I could knock over a liquor store and call it an error made in good faith. In fact as a good liberal I could actually make that case. Right wingers besieged me and I had no choice but to knock off that EZ Liquors on 12th Ave!

OK, let’s address the current miserable Winter we had and why more snow and cold is evidence of more Global f*cking Warming!

Oh, I must have missed the argument that global warming puts more moisture in the environment. It could be true. Surely Mr. Gore believes that.

Oh, nevermind.

Please note the generalizations. Droughts are getting deeper, flooding is increasing. Citations, please.

It’s like the arguments that I heard back in the 80s that the gap between the rich and poor was getting greater. I was sure that by 2010 there would only be a peasant underclass and guys that look like the top-hat guy from Monopoly ruling the United Corporate States of America. Actually, I was convinced that we’d all be dead by 1997 from Nuclear Winter, so I lied there.

Now since his arguments really can’t stand on their own, let’s turn to an “us vs. them” argument to galvanize the faithful.

Let’s meet the deniers and agents of the status quo.

TV is a tool of big anti-progressive corporate demons. Such powerful truth! Jeffrey Immelt just wet his pants and made a phone call to GE to invest “like a sonofabitch” in green stimulus-financed windmill farms and Organizing for America.

What’s that? He’s railing against Fox? Of course. They are the ones that killed our “We Are The World” party our elites had in Copenhagen.

So, what about the culpability of the developing economies? Short answer (liberal version) It’s our fault! Where would we be without this trope?

I forget, how does one say bulls***t? in Mandarin?

All in all, it is good to see Gore back in form defending his carbon-offset racket. But it it always sad when the protagonist learns no lessons and doesn’t develop as a character.

I knew better. Really I did.

Nothing changes.

In the back of my mind, I wondered if Brown might be just another McShame in a more appealing package. Confirmed. Is there a money-back guarantee?

He was, however, joined by four other gutless Republicans (names we know well) – BOND, COLLINS, VOINOVICH, SNOWE.

Brown said he got the message. The message we get from Brown is that it only takes a scant few weeks for principle to be replaced by power and greenbacks. It’s even money on whether he will keep his promise to vote against Obamacare and Cap-and-Trade.

The biggest shocker here is that Alexander actually voted against the bill.

…if you continually decide,

to faithfully pursue…

something something something…

I think Jonathan Springston knows the next lyric.  He probably knows the whole song by heart.

Objective truth, is not the  kind of truth that the editor of the Atlanta Progressive News deems a good fit for his rag. Truth is not their policy, so they fired it.

In the end, we had to make a very difficult decision to move forward as a publication without Jonathan Springston. Last Wednesday, we informed him it seemed more appropriate if he found work with another publication or started his own publication.

At a very fundamental, core level, Springston did not share our vision for a news publication with a progressive perspective. He held on to the notion that there was an objective reality that could be reported objectively, despite the fact that that was not our editorial policy at Atlanta Progressive News. It just wasn’t the right fit.

We have already begun drafting a more programmatic statement on our editorial position regarding objectivity, inter-subjectivity, and news. To be sure, I’ve commented on Creative Loafing’s blog previously about such issues.
(Inter-subjectivity?!)

In the meantime, here is some information from our Frequently Asked Questions page:
“Progressive news is news that brings us closer to universal health care, living wages, affordable housing, peace, a healthy environment, and voting systems we can trust.

We provide news of concern to working families, and therefore, our writing is geared toward a specific audience. Fortunately, our audience–working families–comprises a majority of people in the United States who are largely ignored by corporate media sources.

We believe there is no such thing as objective news. Typically, mainstream media presents itself as objective but is actually skewed towards promoting the corporate agenda of the ultra-wealthy.

The truth sure does give these guys the vapors, doesn’t it? He prefers subjective truth, which is a fancy Orwellian phrase for “lie”. But only uber-wealthy corporate media, and troglodytes like Joe Wilson, would use such an objective “fact-based” word.

The editor made sure to clarify his position in the comments section:

APNEditor Says:

1. February 15th, 2010 at 6:59 pm Also, I didn’t mean to imply–even indirectly or in the slightest way–that Creative Loafing was objective. Quite the opposite- Creative Loafing’s slant is so inline with the bourgeois, corporate ideology of most of the corporate media in Atlanta, that you all kind of reinforce and reify each other to the point where one can easily become deluded that this corporate ideology you propagate is somehow an objective truth.

I have a subjective truth. I think the term bourgeois is tres passe. I mean, who is this guy? Some mustache-twisting, goatee stroking throwback to the Bolshevik revolution? What kind of currency does Cardinale get paid in for his work ? 1905 rubles?

Probably.  I’ll go search for his picture.

That is definitely the APN editor on the far left, circa 1919.  According to my subjective truth.  Guess you have to go back that far to be “progressive”.

(I found this somewhere on Big Journalism but I lost it somewhere. I certainly didn’t find it by reading Creative Loafing.)

Update: (Or inconvenient objective truth) Atlanta Progressive News is not a non-profit, it is a corporation.

Andrew Breitbart, one of the only actual brawlers on the right, gives Salon’s pants-shitting socialist Max Blumenthal a verbal beatdown. It’s a thing of beauty.

It’s fun to watch a spineless socialist media whore try to lie his way out of his own public statements. This is a good look at the cowards of your mainstream media.

NASA Ordered To Let Mohammed Atta Fly The Space Shuttle.

Yea.  Here’s another great idea from Teh Smartest President Ever:

NASA Administrator Charlie Bolden said Tuesday that President Barack Obama has asked him to “find ways to reach out to dominantly Muslim countries” as the White House pushes the space agency to become a tool of international diplomacy.

“In addition to the nations that most of you usually hear about when you think about the International Space Station, we now have expanded our efforts to reach out to non-traditional partners,” said Bolden, speaking to a lecture hall of young engineering students.

Your President is your new Travel Agent Terrorist.

“Non-traditional partners” meaning partners who contribute absolutely nothing to a mission and who do not want to come back alive.  Viewing our technological advances as potential weapons to use against us is also a plus.

When your “partner” starts yelling Allahu Akbar and storms the cockpit just know that we did everything we could to strip-search our own astronauts so that our intrepid Islamofascists would never tell the space aliens that we racially profiled them.

Is this post really hyperbole?  Nah.  Not when your Prez just named a terrorist sympathizing scumbag as your new ambassador to the Muslim world.  Once again highlighting that he’s more in tune with his Hussein than his Barack or his Obama.

You’ve got to love the Legacy Media spin though:

From the New York Slimes:

Report Faults 2 Authors of Bush Terror Memos

From the Hill, “we’ll have hearings on the hearings until I get the answer I want!” says husband of drunken bar brawling corruptocrat:

Judiciary chairmen vow hearings on torture memos report

From the Administration’s public relations farm team at the Washington Post(Op Trannies):

Authors of waterboarding memos won’t be disciplined

From Neo-nationalist People’s Radio:

Yoo And Bybee, Lawyers Behind ‘Torture Memos,’ Will Not Face Disbarment, Criminal Punishment

al-Reuters:

US: Lawyers Misconduct Shows Need for Torture Inquiry

They have a real funny way of describing how someone was found innocent.

What a traitor looks like:

Al-Qaeda is running the Department of Justice.  Foxes, henhouses and what’s for dinner:

Attorney General Eric Holder says nine Obama appointees in the Justice Department have represented or advocated for terrorist detainees before joining the Justice Department. But he does not reveal any names beyond the two officials whose work has already been publicly reported. And all the lawyers, according to Holder, are eligible to work on general detainee matters, even if there are specific parts of some cases they cannot be involved in.

So your Attorney General is taking his fellow travelers out of Al-Qaeda’s legal farm teams in the U.S. and is putting them in direct control of the Department of Justice advising on detainees that they or their firms represented.  What do I mean “formerly”?

They are still representing them.

As for everyone else, Holder lists no names and no cases, but in a paragraph filled with modifiers, he makes it clear that all the lawyers who had advocated for detainees are free to work on general detainee matters.

The senior Department officials referenced above, like other political appointees who are similarly situated, have recused from particular matters regarding specific detainees in which their former firms represent the detainee or another party and from decisions relating specifically to the dispositions of particular detainees represented by their former firms. These recusals pertain to decisions relating to particular matters involving specific parties who are or have been represented by their former law firms within the relevant time period. However, as noted above, these senior officials have been authorized to participate in policy and legal decisions regarding detainee matters, in particular matters regarding specific detainees whom their prior employer did not represent, and in decisions relating to the disposition of such detainees. [emphasis added]

Oh, well that’s clear as mud then.  I used to work for one terrorist/client and now I have to swap out with my buddy who was representing a different scumbag.  Attorney A used to work for Khalid Sheik Mohammed and Attorney B used to work for Osama Bin Laden’s driver – so it’s okay for Attorney B to represent for KSM at the Dept. of Justice and it’s okay for Attorney A to represent OBL’s driver.  And this isn’t a conflict of interest how exactly?

The DoJ should be prosecuting terrorists not representing them from the inside.  In simpler times, people called this treason.  Some of us still do.

And if you think hauling Bush attorneys in front of Congress for show trials when they did nothing wrong is high drama wait until we get a hold of you.  Holder and his entire squad of Guantanamo Bay representing goons, who he refuses to name or say what they are doing,  should be frog marched in front of a military tribunal themselves and dealt with accordingly.

Instead they prosecute the people who kept America safe for eight years and put the legal lunatics who represented the enemy in charge of their former clients.  Madness.

In response to the Georgia Right-To-Life billboard above, another overeducated fool stumbles on the Holy Grail Fail:

Abortion rights advocates are disturbed. Spelman College professor Beverly Guy-Sheftall called the strategy a gimmick.

“To use racist arguments to try to bait black people to get them to be anti-abortion is just disgusting,” said Guy-Sheftall, who teaches women’s history and feminist thought at the historically black women’s college.

“These one-issue approaches that are not about saving the black family or black children, it’s just a big distraction,” she said. “Many black people don’t know who Margaret Sanger is and could care less.”

To use anti-racist arguments to bait black people into killing themselves is what’s disgusting in an evil genius kind of way.  You don’t know who Margaret Sanger is but I assure you that she’s looking up to you and smiling at this very moment for continuing her pioneering work in  “Weed” Eradication.

Fortunately for you, your mother was not as “educated” as you are.

Dramatic Re-enactment

Portrait of 69,456,897 Oddballs. We’re going to need a bigger canvas:

A family source said Bishop…was a far-left political extremist who was “obsessed” with President Obama to the point of being off-putting.

This story of the Alabama professor who gunned down her colleagues just keeps getting stranger and stranger. After all, I’ve never heard of a far-left extremist in Academia with an off-putting Obama cult mentality before.

Somebody get Incompetano monitoring the Twitter feeds. We may have to shut down every single U.S. college and newsroom. When this latter-day Unabombette was questioned about mailing a pipebomb to a doctor thanklessly tasked with examining some of her research:

“She was quite cavalier about it,” Fluckiger said of Bishop’s description of her interview with police. She said Bishop “grinned” as she described being asked by cops whether she’d ever taken stamps off an envelope and fastened them onto something else. “I cannot tell you what the grin meant,” Fluckiger said.

Seven years prior, Bishop shot her brother to death in Braintree in an incident that was ruled an accident at the time.

Somehow none of this disqualified her from jumping in front of a classroom full of kids.

Oh, and she tried to hold up a car dealership.  It’s stuff like this that makes Massachusetts look like some commie cuddling, crook coddling CuckooLand.

Sometimes appearances can be deceiving.  Other times, devastatingly accurate.

Homeland Security can just wait until Bishop gets her own show on MSNBC. At least that would ensure that her infectious ideas won’t be exposed to as many people as the university.

No word yet as to whether the President will send out some free t-shirts for the victims but I expect a full rebuke of violent, leftwing looney bin radio is forthcoming.

An open request to the British Press. In addition to absolutely kicking the arse of your counterparts in the American unofficially state-run media on the subject of so-called “climate change” – your next story should be about how and why they have ignored this story completely.

Call them up. Interview them. Get them on the record as to how this story that you all are exploiting, like the fabled last oil reserve buried deep in a caribou’s hindquarters, is nary worth a mention by our Rip Van Winkle Press. Perpetually trapped in a mental time warp between an early club-you-over-the-head 1990’s Mtv raising awareness campaign and it’s discredited future.

They have plenty of time to procrasturbate over Sarah Palin’s hand notes, perpetuating Government Motor’s smear campaign against Toyota, or some dude setting the World’s Record for hugs yet can’t dedicate anyone to covering the Greatest Con Game In The History of Ever.

It makes The Sting look like The Flea Bite.

Cheerio. Pip-pip. And all that other hoo-ha, Old Chum. Have at it.

UPDATE: Thanks to all you Instapunditeers and Big Journalism visitors. Doing the jobs American “journalists” don’t want to do on this issue.

Feel safe knowing that the Department of Homeland Security has everything under control from their strategic command post monitoring the comments section at the Huffin’ Glue Post:

As the winter Olympics begin, the Department of Homeland Security has disclosed that it will be monitoring the comments and posts on websites and social media like Twitter for information on possible terror threats. Among the sites listed in a privacy impact statement filed Friday afternoon by DHS are the Drudge Report, the Huffington Post, Twitter, Google and this web site, the Blotter.

Don’t you feel safer already knowing that instead of monitoring phone calls from Yemen to Dearborn, Michigan or that sketchy guy from Pakistan sitting in 26D who keeps trying to set his Hanes on fire that your witty and insightful comment on Sarah Palin writing notes on her hand has the attention of Janet Reno’s butch cousin.

I feel better already:

Microsoft co-founder Bill Gates has broken from philanthropic work fighting poverty and disease to take on another threat to the world’s poor — climate change.

“Energy and climate are extremely important to these people,” Gates told Friday a TED Conference audience packed with influential figures including the founders of Google and climate champion Al Gore.

“The climate getting worse means many years that crops won’t grow from too much rain or not enough, leading to starvation and certainly unrest.”

Sometimes it rains too much. Sometimes it doesn’t rain enough. That’s life. Either that or the Goldlilocks’ porridge. I seem to recall a Dust Bowl where it didn’t rain enough. Was that Global Warming caused from aerosol underarm deodorant?

I seem to recall a great flood. Was that because we weren’t cultivating enough windfarms and driving electric cars?

We live on a spinning rock with Parkinson’s disease, people. A rock with a hot molten core. A fever if you will. And the only prescription is more Windows 98.

From the man who ran Microsoft and couldn’t keep his own operating system from crashing, I am less enthused by the thought of him running Nature without prior experience.

“The formula is a very straight forward one,” Gates said. “More carbon dioxide equals temperature increase equals negative effects like collapsed ecosystems. We have to get to zero.”

You first, Breathy.

On the bright side, we can call off the Amber Alert for Al Gore. 49 states are blanketed with snow and he was able to find a spot to peddle his Hot Earth theory where people wouldn’t pelt him snowballs.

UPDATE: I’m a Climate Denying Heretic and we’re all Environmental Sinners In the Hands of An Angry Gaia! Yet at the same time I can get Mac users to defend Gates.

I am truly all things to all people.

Hey Nigel, I think it’s going to be a little easier now for Russell to beat Murtha in 2010.

But, then again, this wouldn’t be the first time the Dependocrats have tried to elect a dead man.

UPDATE (Cranky) Yes, I know. I’m a bad person.

Breitbart reminds the media – “It’s not your business model that sucks. It’s YOU that sucks.”

Via Gateway.

Harold or Clayton???  I get these two so confused.

There are so many striking similarities.Quick, Prudence.  Tell Jasper to get the pick-up truck helicopter ready.  Brother Harold’s going to make white liberals in New York feel comfortable with him one egg-white garden omelet at a time.

Serial racebaiter Harold Ford Jr., of the notorious Ford Memphis Crime Family, gave a perplexing interview to some columnist named Marion Dowd of a paper named after her visage, the Old Grey Lesbian.  Enjoy how he remembers things the way they weren’t:

Ford said he and his pretty blond wife, Emily, a marketing expert, were married in 2008 after his racially charged run for the Senate in Tennessee. They have made her apartment their official home.

“My wife decided after the ’08 election,” he said. “There was so much bad racial stuff out of Tennessee on Obama. I’m in an interracial marriage. I don’t want to subject my wife to this, and I want to start a family. I think my marriage is more accepted here than it would be in Tennessee.

Then promise to never come back, asshole.

First off, race was never a factor in Ford’s losing effort to become a Senator.  If it was it was on his part.

Allow me to posit that there is a kernel of truth in his accusation about racism in Tennessee though.  If St. Alban’s little Lord Fauntleroy thought him marrying a “pretty blond wife” was going to lose him votes it was going to be from people on his own side.  Mainly, a fractured black vote against him for being a race traitor. All those black church ladies in Memphis might have a problem getting up to vote that morning if Harold’s son was sporting Pam Anderson on his arm every day.  Evidently they resent that kind of stuff.

He kept his fiancee in the closet so long that she needed the pedicures to remove the mold.  That’s not an indictment of Threlkeld’s hygiene as much as one of the fungus she’s attached herself.

Then Obama came along and the Clinton star that Ford attached himself to started to descend.  Apparently there were more palatable “light-skinned, clean and articulate” candidates out there who also were absent of that pesky negro dialect that some Nevada Senators find so objectionable.

The question New Yorkers must ask themselves is “Are they ready to elect Clayton Bigsby as their new representative?”

Athletes Sean James and Al Joyner have gotten together to make an ad promoting the grinding up and subsequent throwing-in-the-dumpster of unborn babies.

Yeah, I know what you’re thinking. But don’t worry about it, I’ve never heard of them either. But no matter, they are on the politically correct side of this issue, so they will be hailed as heroes.

Not-so-ironically, these black athletes are either ignorant of or supportive of the genocidal abortion rates in the black community. It would be nice if they would come out and confirm one or the other. I’ll give them the benefit of the doubt and assume the former.

And who is behind this ad? Your loving friends at Planned Parenthood, where every child is a potential abortion. Especially those annoying black babies.

We must also remember that Margaret Sanger’s motivation for founding Planned Parenthood was to help rid society of those less desireable races.

But don’t bother these two brilliant athletes with these inconvenient truths. They probably couldn’t process it anyway.

Abortion is the holy sacrament of the left. It always has been, it always will be.

Lucifer got a new head librarian today and he’s already gotten to work re-writing The Bible as the tale of a struggling, working class imp denied a living wage and cast out of eternally subsidized housing by a Zionist slavedriver buttressed by embellished, anonymous and unsubstantiated accounts (narrated by Matt Damon):

Howard Zinn, the Boston University historian and political activist who was an early opponent of US involvement in Vietnam and whose books, such as “A People’s History of the United States,” inspired young and old to rethink the way textbooks present the American experience, died today in Santa Monica, Calif, where he was traveling. He was 87.

More empirical data that the good die young.

“Howard was an old and very close friend,” Chomsky said. “He was a person of real courage and integrity, warmth and humor. He was just a remarkable person.”

Despite Chomsky losing the un-American Simon to his traitorous Garfunkel, we can only hope that he will soon join him in blowing Cerberus for a few licks from his dog bowl while getting the hot poker to an endless replay of “50 Ways To Leave Your Lover”.

But it won’t all be fun and games.  As punishment for overflowing Hell’s antiquated sewage system with his bullshit, the Dark Lord then sentences Zinn to sing “The Star-Spangled Banner” for all eternity in front of a waving American flag and a burning Soviet one with no reprieve – save a glass of water with a twist of lemon and a loaded shotgun.

Remember, if your worldview is challenged by pesky things like facts, simply observed cause and effect relationships or even the painfully obvious, there is always MSNBC to comfort you.

For example, say you have a very liberal state with an extensive “progressive” history. Say this state, consistent with it’s liberalism, votes overwhelmingly for America’s first African-American presidential candidate. And finally, just suppose that this first African-American president suggests some legislation that is so overwhelmingly horrible that even this liberal state opposes it. If you were rational, mightn’t you conclude that if your most ardent supporters are against something, that this certain something might be deeply flawed?

Well, not if you’re MSNBC

.

Yes, I’m aware that every person with a an IQ greater than lint knows that MSNBC is positioning themselves to be the anti-Fox. And we all know that GE somehow avoids being lumped in with all the Obama administration’s evil corporate bogeymen. But I did this cool Photoshop and needed a reason to post it.

Maybe this makes me shallow, but I’m liking Stewart more now that he says things I agree with.

Regarding Olbermann, he is simply a carnival barker for an audience that is too young to know what a carnival barker is. He is not worthy of responses from his conservative critics because that is exactly what his audience feeds off of.

Seeing Jon Stewart do this might actually leave a black eye. I dare Olbermann to make Stewart the Worst Person in the World.

UPDATE We now know who the Alpha dog is as Keith rolls over and exposes his throat to the dominant male. Skip to the last 30 seconds.

That is all.

Part 2 of what is likely to become a regular series.