Operation:  Rogue Teleprompter continues apace.  The Greatest Communicator Evar certainly does know how to win a skeptical public over:

“I’m just going to be honest with you. There’s not much we can do next week or two weeks from now,” the president told workers at a wind turbine plant. It’s a theme Obama’s struck before as he tries to show voters he’s attuned to a top economic concern with gas prices pushing toward $4 a gallon.

If only we could tap into the President’s strategic reserve of boilerplate to heat homes in the winter.

“Gas prices? They’re going to still fluctuate until we can start making these broader changes, and that’s going to take a couple of years to have serious effect,” Obama said.

Obama needled one questioner who asked about gas prices, now averaging close to $3.70 a gallon nationwide, and suggested that the gentleman consider getting rid of his gas-guzzling vehicle.

“If you’re complaining about the price of gas and you’re only getting 8 miles a gallon, you know,” Obama said laughingly. “You might want to think about a trade-in.”

What an asshole.   Tell everyone that they need to get used to $4 gas and that he is not going to do a damn thing about it.  Then, insult someone asking a question by impugning that they own a gas-guzzler and that he should, heh-heh, trade it in.

It’s rare that you see a politician openly display such cold and callous indifference towards the electorate.  Be glad he wasn’t a plumber or they’d already be going through his records to destroy him.

For now, he just wants you to suffer.

The Jimmy Swaggart of Class War continues to make promises he’ll refuse to keep:

Disgraced politician John Edwards is said to be deeply depressed – to the point of being suicidal - over the prospect of a criminal trial that could end with him being jailed if found guilty.

The 57-year-old former Presidential candidate reportedly told a close friend: ‘I won’t go to jail. I’d kill myself first!’

According to the Wall Street Journal Mr Young has described the tape as like ‘watching a traffic pile-up occur in slow motion – repelling but also transfixing.’

How auto-erotic.

In a matter of a year, Terry Jones has become the most controversial and important performance artist of our time.  His work is world-renowned.  He sparked an all-important National Conversation ™ on Free Speech, The Nature of Islam, the Hypocrisy of the Left and a range of related taboo subjects that are evidently too heretical for the Beltway Cocktail Circuit.

There is a defect in the world today.  It’s not Global Warming or the earthquakes it doesn’t cause.  And it’s not the rich disguising themselves as women to board the tenders as our Titanic republic lists into a double-dip.

A significant portion of one of the world’s largest religions is composed of psychopathic murderers and the rest are enablers.  Someone needed to say it.  Unfortunately, he’s got Yosemite Sam’s mustache and the import of a community access televangelist.  It’s Aversion Therapy.  Face the fearful truth.

Don’t persecute him for his Art though.  Some people roll around in body paints on a canvas.  Some people grab a flashlight and a speculum while a crowd tosses pennies at them like a wishing well.  Indeed, who are any of us to judge this Bradbury-esque clarion?

That one burning Koran can be an x-ray to the cancer within.

Not some hysterical Karen Finley or urinary Andres Serrano this one.   He’s earned NEA Artist of The Year with every UN worker beheaded, every drop of innocent blood spilled and every demand for his own head and blood by Christiane Amanpour.

True Art is dangerous because it’s saying what people are afraid to say.  It’s not always a bullwhip stuck up your ass no matter how much we would like it to be.   If it were, Jones would be the bullwhip and the ass would be Islamic fundamentalism.

We don’t need NATO, we need animal control.  Terry Jones showed us that.  The feral attack on UN workers for something that happened on the other side of the world that had to be embellished and told to them 2nd and 3rd hand underscores Jones’ relevance as an artist and his revolutionary subject matter.   Take that, Mapplethorpe.

Any starving artist can burn an American Flag in the Arab Street.  Were that our flag and what it means be such a delicate thing that Christiane Amanpour might implore them to stop  to prevent angry mobs, hopped up on Christ and Country no less, from firebombing mosques in small-town America.

Because that would be news.

I leave you in Misha’s hands.  Amen.

And why can’t anyone speak the truth about Syria.  I mean, I know why Hijab Nancy won’t speak about Syria.

Assad treated her like the filthy little whore she is, threw a paperbag over her head and road her like the convoy carrying WMDs out of Iraq.  Squealed like a little piggy she did.

And the stink of her Sizzlean and hot garbage has got Krauthammer bent out of all kinds of shape:

“Many of the members of Congress of both parties who have gone to Syria in recent months have said they believe he’s a reformer.”
Hillary Clinton
on Bashar al-Assad, March 27

Few things said by this administration in its two years can match this one for moral bankruptcy and strategic incomprehensibility.

Syria is like the French Riviera for the Communist Left for some reason.  They loved to go there during the Bush years.  Can someone fill me in on why exactly?  Is it because Assad wears a suit and doesn’t walk around in bed linens or military garb with mirrored sunglasses and gold plated epaulets all day?

Their feelings on the subject of people being clean and articulate is well documented.  Nevermind what’s coming out of their mouths.

Here are people demonstrating against a dictatorship that repeatedly uses live fire on its own people, a regime that in 1982 killed 20,000 in Hama and then paved the dead over.

Here are insanely courageous people demanding reform — and the U.S. secretary of state tells the world that the thug ordering the shooting of innocents already is a reformer, thus effectively endorsing the Baath party line — “We are all reformers,” Assad told parliament — and undermining the demonstrators’ cause.

Third, it’s strategically incomprehensible. Sometimes you cover for a repressive ally because you need it for U.S. national security. Hence our muted words about Bahrain. Hence our slow response on Egypt. But there are rare times when strategic interest and moral imperative coincide completely. Syria is one such — a monstrous police state whose regime consistently works to thwart U.S. interests in the region.

During the worst days of the Iraq War, this regime funneled terrorists into Iraq to fight U.S. troops and Iraqi allies. It is dripping with Lebanese blood as well, being behind the murder of independent journalists and democrats, including former Prime Minister Rafiq al-Hariri.

This year, it helped topple the pro-Western government of Hariri’s son, Saad, and put Lebanon under the thumb of the virulently anti-Western Hezbollah. Syria is a partner in nuclear proliferation with North Korea. It is Iran’s agent and closest Arab ally, granting it an outlet on the Mediterranean. Those two Iranian warships that went through the Suez Canal last month docked at the Syrian port of Latakia, a long-sought Iranian penetration of the Mediterranean.

Take the whole thing out for a spin.  Kick the tires.

Hlllary Clinton is a Grade A+ moron.  You’d never know it by how wildly popular she is.  Just ask her old pollster since he’s the one who ran the survey that determined her to be The Most Popular Secretary of State Evar.  Carrot Top “Reset Button” Diplomacy was such a hit.

The same week she’s garbling Obama’s “get rid of Qaddafi/don’t get rid of Qaddafi”, “it’s of paramount national interest/not really in our interest at all” misdirection and praising the Torquemada of Damascus.

What’s not to love?

I’d ask how the military recruitment numbers are going to see how many people are chomping at the bit to join the US Armed Services so they can serve at the pleasure of the Arab League but since the news hasn’t mentioned that once burning question since November 2008 I already know.

It’s snug and tucked away with the monthly casualty numbers and front page flag-draped-coffin cover stories that don’t warrant a mention now either.

Damn you, archives.  Damn you!

It’s too delicious.  Purveyor of pejoratives, Juan Cole of Misinformed Comment has put his war face on – Raawwwrr!  Or should I say, bok-bok-ba-kok:

I would like to urge the Left to learn to chew gum and walk at the same time. It is possible to reason our way through, on a case-by-case basis, to an ethical progressive position that supports the ordinary folk in their travails in places like Libya. If we just don’t care if the people of Benghazi are subjected to murder and repression on a vast scale, we aren’t people of the Left.

It’s not that they can’t “reason their way” into Libya, it’s that it is a direct contradiction from every position they vehemently supported for the most memorable moments of the last, easily researched decade.  To make the strident case for Liberal Hypocrisy on military intervention in Libya’s Civil War.

We can’t just stand idly by while “ordinary folk” are murdered and repressed on a “vast scale”.  Funny.  That’s exactly what you did on Iraq and Afghanistan.   Are you saying that Libyan scale is more vast than Saddam Hussein’s Iraq?  It couldn’t be that your thumb is on that scale now that a Democrat is in the White House.

Before Obama’s gas prices go up any more, let’s take a trip down memory lane:

2/28/2006 – While tut-tutting on the news of over 1,300 people killed in sectarian violence in Iraq and arguing  for reducing our overburdened, stretched-thin troops in Iraq so that Iraqi “ordinary” folks” wouldn’t be subject to murder and oppression on a “vast scale” -

The LA Times reports that the recent violence in Iraq has provoked a debate in the Pentagon about planned troop draw-downs in Iraq. Some officers think it is crazy to reduce the number now. Others believe that the Iraqis will never step up to the plate as long as they can call in US soldiers. The article quotes Michael Rubin of the American Enterprise Institute (Likud Branch), who is a civilian chickenhawk even though he is young enough so that he could have joined the military and served in Iraq, as saying that it is not the right time to bring home the troops.

My, my, my.  We’re still in Iraq yet now Colonel Cole is willing to send those brave souls to Libya and not let them come home.  Encourage your readers to join the military and bring home something Not Victory, since we’re not imperialists in Libya.  I’d hate for you to be a Chickenhawk ™, Juan.

2/6/05 – Re-posting a letter from one of his lickspittle minions to Jonah Goldberg:

In your post titled “EMPIRICISM”, you quote a reader who seems to value concepts above experience. In many ways, this may be a good explanation of the root of your feud with Cole. By all appearances, you view the war in Iraq much the way you might treat today’s Superbowl. Its something about which you feel free to state strong opinions and something which might provoke a certain amount of emotional argument.

You might win or lose a few dollars and/or the ability to gloat for a few days. But, in the end, its simply entertainment. Certainly, despite the strength of your convictions about aspects of the game, you don’t feel yourself qualified to actually take the place of Belichick or Reid. You wouldn’t consider for a moment strapping on a helmet and lining up in place of TO.

Cole, on the other hand, knows that war is not a game. He lived in war-torn Beirut and knows the realities of civil strife.

…

Do you feel any responsibility for the real and empirical deaths that have occurred due to your mistakes of concept and theory? Finally, I really appreciate your frankness in explaining why you are not currently serving in “the kill zone”. It is the best and most honest display of chickenhawk hypocrisy I have yet to come across. It confirms my belief that the war in Iraq is little more than a game to you.

Game on!  I’ve never seen a Superbowl where the teams just switched sides like this.  Now Cole wants to be the chickenhawk hypocrite.  Your helmet is waiting in “the killzone”, sir.

9/22/03 – On Max Cleland comparing our unnecessary intervention into the peace-filled, protester friendly streets of Iraq:

Iraq and Vietnam

Max Cleland, former Georgia senator and a decorated war hero from the Vietnam era, who lost three limbs in that war, is comparing Iraq to the Vietnam War. When he says it, it is chilling. (Note, he was defeated in his campaign for another term in the senate by some chickenhawk Republican who characterized Cleland as unpatriotic for not supporting the Iraq war).

Apparently Max never learned how to “roll and chew gum at the same time”.

4/2/03 – On intervention in Iraq creating instability elsewhere and the utopianism of the chickenhawks:

But if unrest continues to brew over this issue in Indonesia, an anti-American government could come to power in Indonesia eventually, and Islamists could become powerful. They aren’t, now, and Indonesia’s experiment in open society has certainly been damaged by the US war in Iraq. People like Deputy Secretary of Defense Paul Wolfowitz think they can have their cake [war in Iraq, support for Sharon in Israel] and eat it too [spread of liberalism and democracy in the Muslim world]. But it is possible that these two goals are incompatible with one another. Isaiah Berlin warned us about incompatible ideals. The chickenhawks in Washington are imbued with a utopianism (at least in their rhetoric) of which he would have disapproved.

But attacking Qaddafi and leaving open the option of him remaining in power is going to create Heaven on Earth when the civil warring factions are left without an occupying army to watch over them.

3/17/03 - Those Neo-con Jews chickenhawks want to take over Egypt!

*The Muslim Brotherhood representatives in the Egyptian parliament have demanded that Egypt forbid the US to transport war ships to the Gulf via the Suez Canal. They also want the Mubarak regime to refuse to accept the $2 bn. in aid received from the US every year (most of it anyway goes to US firms who supply goods and weapons to Egypt). Next the chickenhawks will be saying we need to occupy the Suez Canal zone.

No, we should occupy Tripoli.

3/9/08 – On Rep. Steve King commenting on what an Obama election would look like to the much bally-hooed “Arab Street”:

Actually, I can’t find any evidence whatsoever of anyone in the Muslim world noticing what Barack Obama’s middle name is. Hussein in that part of the world is like “Steve” over here. Just as I don’t get happy that King’s name is “Steve,” they don’t care what Obama’s name is. And, I presume that King, a chickenhawk, also has a problem with American war hero Omar Bradley being named “Omar.”

No word yet on what platoon Obama served in.  Perhaps his DD-214 is locked up in a safe in Hawaii too.

8/14/07 – On a fevered dream about Karl Rove resigning:

An early and avid supporter of war, Rove did everything in his power to prepare the American people for a large scale military conflict. During the Iraq War, he increased his power and influence through shifting alliances with other Republican leaders. By late 2006, the war had turned into a disaster for the Coalition powers, but this only spurred Rove to intensify the propaganda by urging the Americans to accept the idea of total war and mobilization, which he called “the surge.” Rove remained with Bush almost to the very end.

His height exposed him to ridicule and humiliation in a society that worshipped physical prowess. A chickenhawk, he later frequently misrepresented himself as qualified to make pronouncements on war.

Hrm, a physically weak presidential advisor pronouncing thusly on War as opposed to the hulking uber-macho physique of your typical college professor/MSNBC talking head.  I guess that would qualify as a Doughboy, technically.

10/15/06 - On the heroism of John Murtha’s call for defeat in Iraq:

Rep. John P. Murtha is among the bravest men in the US Congress. He minds chickenhawks like Dick Cheney and George W. Bush insinuating that he is a coward or a defeatist for arguing that the US should draw down its troops in Iraq and let the Iraqis sort things out for themselves.

Let those Libyan sort things out for themselves.  What a novel idea.  Glad you thought of it first.  Oh, wait.

4/15/06 - On newly retired Major General John Batiste fragging Donald Rumsfeld and complaining that there Weren’t Enough Troops on The Ground:

Retired Major General John Batiste said Friday of Secretary of Defense Donald Rumsfeld, “We went to war with a flawed plan that didn’t account for the hard work to build the peace after we took down the regime . . .” and added, “We also served under a secretary of defense who didn’t understand leadership, who was abusive, who was arrogant and who didn’t build a strong team.” He is the latest in a string of retired generals to call on Rumsfeld to step down.

There has been some snarking that Gen. Batiste did not speak out while in uniform. These comments come from civilian chickenhawks.

We’ll see how well received any comments criticizing the lack of strategy and clarity on Libya from military personnel about their superiors are from Col. Cole.  Nay, they should be encouraged to speak out publicly against their commanders now so that liberal chickenhawks can’t criticize them for retiring to state their opinions.  From some strange reason, I can imagine that they’ll be traitors and Qaddafi sympathizing white supremacists.

This is where the Date Rape comes in.  First, the suave Obama’s going to play it cool and call the Congress up this week after not seeming too eager to notify them about going out in a War together.  The Arab League allegedly vouched for his bona fides and they’re like the Match.com of the Middle East.

After an evening of lively conversation about People Wanting to Live Free,  the tipsy strumpet of Congress will be invited to go back to his place where he’ll only want to stick the tip of the US forces into a Libya aching for our troops to fill their gaping holes with smart diplomacy.

First it will be “just for a minute”.  Come on, all of the rest of The Coalition is doing it.  *Drinks*  Then it will be days, not weeks.  Then it will be weeks, not months. *Puts his hand on our leg*  In fact, it’s already gone to months, not years.

How long is this date going to last exactly?

It will be No Troops on the ground.  Until it’s “troops on the ground – limited in scope (under NATO no less and thus not US troops on the ground)- to deliver humanitarian aid and support the relief effort”.  Then it will be troops on the ground just to make the area safe for humanitarian aid by clearing out Qaddafi’s terrorists dressed as civilians.

American troops on the ground are protected by the prophylactic rubber of International Consensus.

Then it will be “I never said we would never put troops on the ground – we’ve always maintained we needed troops on the ground and to characterize the President’s position which he has held since the beginning any other way is, quite frankly, a bit disappointing in this unpatriotic line of questioning Mr. Tapper.”

In fact, our little adventure won’t even cost money.  It will SAVE money!  How many Middle Eastern democracies have been created or saved by bombing Libya with unicorn-powered peace missiles filled with rice and medicine?  All of them I bet.

Days, not weeks.

When Eliot Ness went after organized crime did he say that Al Capone could stay a free man, free to terrorize the citizenry and reconstitute his cabal, once the streets were cleaned up?

This doesn’t make any sense at all.

Perhaps if Obama would walk through Qaddafi’s neighborhood and Qaddafi questioned him about his policies being socialist then Obama could summon the courage to destroy him.

And Obamacare would need to cover the Dent Doctor to pull all the dings out of her hail-damaged ass.

Bill Maher uttered a female vulgarism when referring to former Republican VP candidate Sarah Palin on his HBO show Friday night.

“Did you hear this – Sarah Palin finally heard what happened in Japan and she’s demanding that we invade ‘Tsunami,’” Maher said. “I mean she said, ‘These ‘Tsunamians’ will not get away with this.’ Oh speaking of dumb tw**s, did you…”

Maher was offering an imagined Palin response in an apparent attempt at humor, as Palin had made no such statement.

The National Organization for Women (NOW) refused to comment on Maher’s use of the derogatory term. A rep told FOXNews.com it is a “known fact” that NOW does not correspond with FOX News.

This is from a midget who beats up his black hookers.

I know what you’re thinking. How dare I call her dumb? After all, wasting an Ivy League education majoring in Sociology and minoring in Afro-American Studies (oOooOoo, so hard) as a literal affirmative action placement because her brother played on Princeton’s basketball team and got her enrolled means she’s smart about pimping her race and doesn’t that count?

Umm, no. No it doesn’t.

But NOT, formerly NOW, now known as the National Organization of Twats has no comment on Maher’s remarks.

I expect no less from the hypocritical cunts who exiled Tammy Bruce so they could support OJ Simpson murdering his ex-wife.

NAG, NAG, NAG Update: NOT reluctantly renounces Bill Maher’s comments once asked by a reporter not from Fox News.  And I do mean reluctantly:

In the wake of Bill Maher’s tasteless slur against Sarah Palin Friday night, in which he called the former Alaska governor a “twat,” the National Organization for Woman (NOW) has not only denounced the use of such sexist words, but also issued a warning to conservatives who they believe are attempting to use the issue to discredit their organization: “We are on to you, right-wingers.”

“Listen, supposedly progressive men (ok, and women, too): Cut the crap! Stop degrading women with whom you disagree and/or don’t like by using female body terms or other gender-associated slurs,” Lisa Bennett, NOW communications director wrote in a statement.

In addition to chastising men (and women) like Maher who use their position as progressives as a shield against charges of sexism, NOW made it clear that their denouncement of Maher’s sexist remark toward Palin is in no way an endorsement of her or conservative policies.

“You’re trying to take up our time getting us to defend your friend Sarah Palin. If you keep us busy defending her, we have less time to defend women’s bodies from the onslaught of reproductive rights attacks and other threats to our freedom, safety, livelihood, etc,” wrote Bennett. “Sorry, but we can’t defend Palin or even Hillary Clinton from every sexist insult hurled at them in the media. That task would be impossible, and it would consume us. You know this would not be a productive way to fight for women’s equal rights, which is why you want us stuck in this morass.”

They certainly do seem to have a stick up their morass.  So that’s one line about Maher and then a paragraphs long rant against conservatives for pointing out their hypocrisy.

Juanita Broaddrick is still available for comment, Clinton coddlers.

Worth Every Penny: Even at the low, low cost of FREE no one is reading your agitprop and we'd love to see those Enron accounting circulation numbers.

In case no one has seen a City Paper rack recently, the decline in readership is proportional to it’s Nashville Scene-ification.  To wit, today’s COVER STORY is a 3,000+ word liberal broadside by a freelancing, freeloading Michigander transplant who mooches off his Nashville teacher wife in support of Unions:

Here’s the thing: I believe in unions. I’m not supposed to say that for a number of good reasons. But I think I might be over that now, being free to say the following.

The anti-union legislation now making its way toward passage in our state legislature is not only mean-spirited and unnecessary, but it’s the worst kind of shallow, cynical politics that this shallow, cynical country can produce.

Not shallow and cynical enough for us to turn away all of your illegal aliens, eh Chuckles?

For those J-School grads out there, this is what a resignation looks like.  Charles Maldonado is no longer a credible source for any reporting, freelance or otherwise, and should be summarily dismissed from ever filing for The Nashville City Paper again.  But we know that won’t happen because some editor looked at his 3,000+ word hate screed and thought “Let’s put this on the cover!”

It gets better.

I do not for one second believe that Republicans in the state legislature believe their rhetoric about teachers’ unions. In saying that I’m being generous to them, because if they did believe it, they’d be as gullible and incapable of critical thinking as they present themselves to be. Consider that for a second now, and then again after you finish reading how virtually every bit of factual information in this “debate” over unions has been distorted by officeholders currently waging a political war.

I’m a reporter. I can’t even say any of the above aloud under normal circumstances, let alone write it for publication, but there it is. I’d offer my letter of resignation, but I’m a freelancer, and I can’t resign from my non-job.

Is that final sentence the crux of this bird-flipping to red state Tennessee?  The ball-less Nashville City Paper / Scene staff don’t have the guts to sign the editorial themselves so they farm it to an out-of-state freelancer to provide cover for their cowardice?

I’m also from Michigan, and that means I grew up believing that the labor movement is either directly or indirectly responsible for many good things, not just greed, graft, corruption, political manipulation, and the widescale theft of billions from public treasuries.

That one confused me.  Is he acknowledging Union greed, graft, corruption, political manipulation and widescale theft of public treasuries or is he projecting that onto Republicans?

I think we can all agree that Tennessee would do well to emulate Detroit’s policies and all the good Unions have done for them.

Among them: the 40-hour work week; workplace safety regulations; whistleblower protection; some measure of dignity for people who work for a living; and more or less creating the American middle class. But then again, I was brainwashed. I’m sure if I were from Tennessee, I would know that Davy Crockett did most of that.

So if you don’t subscribe to Chuckle’s pro-union view then you’re a backwater hick who thinks Davey Crockett invented OSHA.  Fuck you, seriously.

Toot-toot-toot.  Unionists belt out “40 Hour Work Week” like it was their only number one hit from 1899 and they’ll play it until Dick Clark quits inviting them on Bandstand.

The last and best reason for me to believe in unions is that my wife, Jenny, who is by far the breadwinner in our home — somehow managing to outshine the $7,159 I pulled in last year by a factor of, let’s say, a lot — is herself a Metro Nashville Public Schools teacher, and thus, the current target of choice for the state GOP’s campaign of folksy divisiveness and arbitrary, albeit maybe focus-grouped, derision. (Or at least she’s one of a select few that includes women, non-Christians — especially Muslims and to a slightly lesser degree seculars — poor people, sick people, children unless they’re not born yet, the whole LGBT spectrum, all immigrants except the ones from business-y countries, and anyone uncomfortable with the idea of being armed all of the time. I think that covers the big ones.)

The last and best reason – unions personally enrich me!

Oh, and if you don’t support giving this jackoff who moved from Michigan to Tennessee because it was so great there then you also hate the poor, the sick, Muslims, atheists, the almighty chirren, gays, spics, wops, dagos, trannies, handicapped wheelchair ramps, free internet access, Black History Month, low-fat margarine, climate change and NPR.  Did we forget anyone?

This is the cover story of a once somewhat respectable DAILY paper now reduced to being the Monday and Thursday version of the Nashville Scene.

A loss of bargaining rights will leave Jenny with nothing between her and lower wages, a reasonable pension and health care contribution, and undoubtedly, wide-scale layoffs at some point.

She’ll still has you, Romeo.  Sitting at home on your ass.  Pulling down $7k large on your populist soapbox being paid to pretend to be a reporter.  I believe it was the famous Beatle Keith Moon who said, “all you need is love”.

Wide scale layoffs from the government hasn’t happened in Obama’s Depression.  Layoffs are what people in the private sector feel.

“You have no idea what it’s like to get in the car, every day, to and from work, and listen to people in the news trashing your profession,” Jenny said.

Of course not.  No one could.  Unless they happened to work for a bank, an energy company, Wal-Mart, an insurance company, a Japanese auto manufacturer who employs Americans, the US Chamber of Commerce, and any other private sector company during Obama’s Two Minutes Hate against non-government business.

It rambles on and on and on and on and on everything from Tennessee unionists not being in-your-face enough like those successful Michigan ones to wild accusations about CCA (the private prison company) running it’s own Fight Club.  You broke Rule #1, Chucky!

The Closer:

The Wrong side has always been composed of living people who likely don’t realize, in the moment, that their actions and beliefs would one day be judged as bankrupt. At one time you could have asked some of them, ordinary mortal humans like Joe McCarthy or George Wallace, how it feels to have your life worked over like that, your ordinary mortal human actions retold over and over again as the bad guy part in a morality play for so many consecutive years. It would have to be a kind of living hell, made all the worse by the fact that it was the hell nearly everyone thought they deserved.

We’ve already been judged as bankrupt.  Literally.  Our country is bankrupt.  Not morally.  Financially.  Not bending over for unions does not mean people supported George Wallace turning firehoses on black people, you delusional asshole.  Although Joe McCarthy would have a field day with all of the certified Communists in the Labor movement.

There goes Separation of Church and State out the window again.  We live in “Hells we think we deserve” but Heaven is available if you want the government to provide it for you.

Just ask for forgiveness on bended knee before your secular god.  Your handout will runneth over.

I’ll keep my closer short:

You take to the pages of a once respectable paper ruined by your deadbeat bosses to insult Tennesseans as racist hillbillies who think Davey Crockett invented the light bulb.

This is how you ask for people to support your position.  Then again, it’s really not.  You know you’ve lost so you’re setting fire to the oil wells with the help of your cowardly editors hiding under the skirt of your tenuous employment relationship that was their responsibility.

Go back to Michigan, asshole, and take your moron wife with you where you will be appreciated.

And for the Scene Editors, if you gave a shit about Charles Maldonado you could have given him a full-time job and offered him healthcare coverage.  Would that have cut into Jeff Woods’ skull simonizing budget or Jim Ridley’s Analese allowance?  Judging by the current staff, evidently he’s not white enough.

You gave a Facebook rant cover story to a guy who’s welfare is your responsibility.  Gutless, blame shifting cowards.  This was the editorial equivalent of a suicide bombing of your own paper’s last couple of readers.

Why, when you justify bypassing Congress to authorize the use of force under the War Powers Act, silly.

Just don’t call it a war and it’s not a war.

/Because of Teh Optics! ™

And speaking of Teh Optics, Preznint My Pet Goat can dispatch those rumors about not being able to walk and chew gum at the same time.  He can start Not-A-War and play with kids’ balls at the same time.

I assure you – we are in the very best of hands, er, feet.

And watch out kids, remember – Obama’s a pedal-phile after all.

Senator Kerry (D - North Vietnam): Qool With Qaddafi

Further to my earlier comments about John Kerry’s (the Chair of the Foreign Relations Committee) appearance on Meet the Press this morning – run this up the flagpole and see who salutes it:

Leading Senate Democrats on Sunday defended President Barack Obama’s approach to Libya and made clear that U.S. military action would be strictly limited to protecting civilians and not target Libyan strongman Moammar Gaddafi.

Senate Foreign Relations Chairman John Kerry (D-Mass.), appearing on NBC’s “Meet the Press” from Cairo, described the activities of U.S. military forces in Libya as a “humanitarian initiative” that was wholly unconcerned with removing Gaddafi from power.

So we’re just going bomb him, presumably with Tomahawk missiles, and then leave him there in hopes that he will have learned his lesson.

Senate Armed Services Chairman Carl Levin said the Obama administration’s cautious and deliberate strategy for Libya has the support of the military brass and would be well-received on Capitol Hill.

He said “it would be well-received on Capitol Hill” because there has been no consultation whatsoever with either Senate or House Democrats and Republicans.  Who needs Congressional buy-in when The World Community has given us our marching orders?

“One of the reasons I predict there will be strong bipartisan support in the Congress for the president’s decision is because it is a limited mission — no boots on the ground — and because he has done this with great caution, with great care, and I saw that in person in the White House on Friday,” said the Michigan Democrat, who appeared with Kerry on “Meet the Press.” “One of the things I know our military were very concerned about was that there could be mission creep. They don’t have that concern anymore because this mission has been very carefully limited.”

“The goal of this mission is not to get rid of Gaddafi,” Kerry added. “That’s not what the United Nations licensed, and I would not call it going to war. This is a very limited operation that is geared to save lives. … It is not geared to try to get rid of Gaddafi, he has not been targeted.”

How did Bush win a 2nd term?  Because John Kerry is a duplicitous traitor who lives to have American Power yanked by the UN’s leash.  They tell us who to kill.  They tell us when to kill.  They tell us how to kill and then they tell us when to stop after we’ve lost.

As Kerry plainly implies, we will fight a politically correct Not War that is morally justified – unlike Iraq and Afghanistan – and that we are not going after Qaddafi.  Does that concern anyone?

Both Kerry and Levin dismissed those concerns.

“We’re not policing Libya,” Kerry said. “We are engaged in a humanitarian initiative to prevent the slaughter of innocent people, to prevent a dictator from dragging people out of hospital beds and they disappear.”

“What you’re missing here,” Levin added, “is this is the world that has made a decision. … It is not just we the United States. The president has taken the time to put the world community together.”

If The World ™ “made a decision” then why isn’t The World ™ enforcing it?

As long as we understand that Barack Obama has been “taking the time to put the world community together” as Levin states to attack Libya and not consulted our own Congress at all or sought the support of the American people.  It’s his war and his alone.

Again I’ll ask:  Where is the press corps to ask about this flip-flop on US interventionism and The Cautious, One Week Long Rush To Not War?

Or, Obama says Qaddafi must go.  His Secretary of State says Qaddafi must go.  His main Senate benefactor and head of Foreign Relations says Qaddafi can stay.  The Chairman of the Joint Chiefs of Staff says Qaddafi can stay.  Where’s the disconnect?

It’s Amateur Night, folks.  Channeling my inner Jim Stockdale, “What the hell are we doing here?”

Much like fixing the intelligence of the BP Deepwater Horizon oil spill, turns out the Arab League didn’t exactly give Dumb-0 carte blanche to attack Libya:

Western forces pounded Libya’s air defences and patrolled its skies on Sunday, but their day-old intervention hit a serious diplomatic setback as the Arab League chief condemned the “bombardment of civilians.”

…

But Arab League chief Amr Moussa said what was happening was not what Arabs had envisaged when they called for the imposition of a no-fly zone over Libya.

“What is happening in Libya differs from the aim of imposing a no-fly zone, and what we want is the protection of civilians and not the bombardment of more civilians,” he said.

He said, “I want you to paint me a picture of Libya based on my specific directions for what I hope will happen and I will criticize and second-guess your every brushstroke but never, ever, ever pick up the brush to paint the picture myself.”

Your “broad coalition” just fell apart and has turned into an invasion by Western white people of another Muslim country for their oil interests.  And surprise, the US gets to be the knuckledragging henchman to do the heavy lifting and pick up the tab for French business interests.

The more you hear backstabbing heathens Arab leaders, the more you can appreciate the integrity of a shifting sand dune.

I do believe that your local recruiter’s station is still open if you want to support your President’s undeclared war on Libya.

I also hope that chiropractors are covered under the new Obamacare law given the twists and contortions of the antiwar Left, who never took advantage of a moment to STFU during Bush’s year long Rush To War ™ in Iraq, versus Obama “The Poet Warrior’s” week long, “cautious” unconstitutional intervention in a civil war that’s technically not our business at all.

What Fantasyland is this that we’re living in?

I just saw John Kerry and Carl Levin on Meet the Press saying that we’re doing all this, took our time to do it right with our Broad Coalition ™ or rather a Coalition of Broads and that at the end of the day we’re pretty cool with expending a lot of blood and treasure to leave Qaddafi in power.   This, for some reason, only makes sense if you’re a Liberal Democrat so may be our house commies can riddle me that one.

Funny that among all those consulted, Congress wasn’t. Congressman John Larson of Connecticut, head of the Democratic Caucus, says, “They consulted the Arab League. They consulted the United Nations. They did not consult the United States Congress,” one Democrat lawmaker said of the White House. “They’re creating wreckage, and they can’t obviate that by saying there are no boots on the ground. … There aren’t boots on the ground; there are Tomahawks in the air.”

Also, that in two closed to questions speeches that Obama has made the case for intervention so painfully clear that only an unAmerican dupe would deny him seeking justice for Libyan rebels of undetermined democratic commitment.  Even if you did support them it’s too little too late and if you leave Qaddafi in power without an occupation would you expect that he would not hunt them down afterwards?

This is beyond senseless and no high-minded journalists seem able to latch onto this headsnapping reversal of course from the people who opposed Iraq and Afghanistan for a decade.

Obama just asked US soldiers to risk their lives for nothing, in pursuit of a goal that is undefined if not ill-defined that puts their mission under the leadership and mandate of the worthless United Nations.

The same United Nations that is authorizing us to attack the chairman of their own Human Rights Council with such a narrowly defined scope as to be more of a threat to our own soldiers than to Libya’s.

God, I know I ask for too much as it is being that you have no real obligation to help me at all but please save our people from these professional morons and two-faced traitors.

In lieu of divine intervention, I will gladly accept MoveOn.org, Code Pink, International ANSWER and Women in Black anti-war rallies against this imperial President with added calls for his immediate impeachment.

Hilarity: Tubby Riefenstahl rips into Obama as if he was packaged in a Hostess Twinkie wrapper. Sacrelicious.

I guess he won’t be taking credit for all of the voters he steered towards Obama now, huh?  Success has a thousand Dreams of My Father but failure is a Kenyan orphan apparently.

How’s that change workin’ out for you?

Nice Nobel Prize You Got There. It would be a shame if something happened to it.

Evidently, liberals are having so much fun in Iraq and Afghanistan that two wars aren’t enough.   No congressional vote, no weapons of mass destruction, no nuclear weapons to speak of, no imminent attack on the U.S. or an ally.

Screw it.  Let’s have another war!

Brazil better be prepared too lest our media fire an Intercontinental Bigot-namecalling Missile in their direction for holding violently racist tea party rallies against our black president.   A nation of rotten, filthy racists I say.  Koch Bros. funded, Iranian-coddling Trannyphiles the lot of them.

“Operation:  Odyssey Dawn” sounds like the start of a bad day.  A long, bad day.  A quixotic journey that’s, let me be clear, only just begun.

How about Operation:  Infinite Flip-Flop?

Operation:  Eternal Hypocrite

Operation:  Reluctant Cowboy

Operation:  Shotgun Wedding

Operation:  Guilted Into It

Operation:  Tardy To The Party

Operation:  Working Vacation

Operation:  That guy I was shaking hands with two years ago is the new Hitler.

Welcome to the club, Dumb-0.  The bloodthirsty, Crusading imperialist neo–con club.

I’d say Obama was practically Jewish if I wasn’ t so sure he would slit his wrists and we need him to keep Amtrak Biden from chugging into the President Station.

Speaking of slitting wrists, if I were a leftist who voted for this featherweight junior war criminal I’d have the warm bath drawn and a bottle of sleeping pills on standby before March Madness is over.

You voted to kill innocent people over oil.  Er, well not oil. Over something maybe.  Oh well, may not over something.

More like over nothing.

You elected Obama to kill innocent people and whose excuse for doing so is in no way different than what Bush was criticized over for eight years.

I understand after all.  It’s not like I’ve never seen a hypocrite before.

But no, of course this isn’t what you voted for.  You voted for peace and sunshine and government-regulated sugarfree lollipops.  You weren’t given a real choice for peace.  Obama just lied to you for his entire career about how much his inspiring words could make the oceans recede and the clouds part and the horse shit.

Either that, or the world’s a more complicated place than the highchair banging pantpissers on the Left can nuance into their drug-addled shitferbrains.

What else to make of this?

Congressman Charles Rangel caused a stir in court Friday while trying to lend his support for bail of Afrika Owes.

Owes, 17, had been a student at the prestigious Deerfield Academy in Massachusetts. Prosecutors say she was also a member of a drug gang that terrorized 137th Street in Harlem.

Owes was one of fourteen suspected  “137th Street Crew” gang members arrested last month. Prosecutors said the gang used shootings, beatings and robberies to protect their turf and gain street status on a stretch of West 137th Street. The gang allegedly openly dealt crack in apartment lobbies, near Harlem Hospital and near the Abyssinian Baptist Church.

Nevermind contempt of court.  Charlie Rangel is arguing that a menace to society be allowed to continue terrorizing the captives of Harlem.  And you’d better believe it’s racism if she’s not allowed to keep drug-dealing to, robbing and killing black people.

A court officer told Rangel three different times to sit down. When he stood up again, Judge Edward McLaughlin had apparently had enough.

“I see someone standing who should not be standing, unless you have a bad back like I do,” McLaughlin said. Rangel sat down.

Rangel says Owes was a straight-A student and should be given a chance to straighten herself out.

Why is this senile, old crook still in office?  I thought he was supposed to be kicked out over ethics violations.

Oh, that’s right.  Democrats have no shame, ethics or morals.

Sorry Harlem.   Payback’s a bitch.  You produced the crook that robs you and you keep electing the one that robs us.

They’re not called The State-Run Media for nothing.

At a joint presser with Felipe Calderon and President Davis, Jr., the Accomplice Press got their “one question”.  After applauding President Davis for his many words on Libya and a kinda, sorta answering his own question about imposing a useless “no-fly” zone, he finally gets to his well-thought out point – Hey, when are you going to intervene in that civil war between the NFL’s multimillionaire athletes and hundred millionaire owners?

Absolutely shameful.   Ben Feller of the AP should be fired before he gets back to the office.

At a time when Mexico is embroiled in an appallingly violent drug war that is leaving dozens dead, beheaded even, every single weekend.  At a time when gas is already over $4.00 a gallon.  Where governments in the Middle East are falling like dominoes or hanging on by gunning down innocents in the streets.  Where two US soldiers were assassinated by the Muslim offspring of the people Clinton “liberated” from civilization in Kosovo.  Where a Florida judge has ruled Obama’s landmark entitlement healthcare bill unconstitutional.  Where February 2011 had close to 400,000 people filed for unemployment benefits for the first time again two years into his Presidency.  When his Attorney General just stood before Congress yesterday and defended dismissing charges in a voter intimidation case because the defendants were the correct race.  When corrupt unions are assaulting taxpayers in the streets to preserve pensions that they don’t deserve and the country cannot  in any way, shape or form be able to afford.

Nah, use that one question to ask about pampered football players in the offseason.  Well played, sir.

Now wipe your chin off and ask for a towel.  The money’s on the nightstand as usual.

Ron Ramsey is officially too stupid to remain Lt. Governor of Tennessee. Quite a feat in and of itself.

How else to explain naming a Liberadio-ing, democrat voting, Daily Kossifying, Dave Weigel worshipping, never-miss-an-opportunity-to-cheap-shot-a-conservative House Donkey like Adolph Klanheider to be his Communications Director?

To paraphrase The Godfather:

Don Corleone: [kisses Michael] Listen, whoever comes to you with this Klainheider recommendation, he’s the traitor. Don’t forget that.

You’re going to live to regret putting the enemy in charge of your message, Boots.

O-Tay by me

When is a white person calling a black person “buckwheat” in a political argument, okay?  Why, when you’re of the correct party persuasion of course:

A Broadview Heights woman is accusing state Rep. Robert F. Hagan of using a term that some believe has a racist connotation on a social networking site.

Hagan, D-60th, of Youngstown, used the term “buckwheat” in a Facebook posting Saturday.

He said the posting wasn’t racist, and the attack on him is the tea party’s attempt to make him look bad.

The Tea Party made him call somebody “Buckwheat” on Facebook.  Is there no end to their mysterious powers?

Pay no attention to the bigot behind the curtain.

Crowther of Liberty Township in Southwest Ohio, believes the term was directed at him.

“I was offended by that,” Crowther said.

He called it an odd and inappropriate thing for Hagan to say.

“I felt it was beneath somebody that we’d elect” to say it, Crowther said.

Hagan said it’s an attempt to make him look bad.

“They are so full of —-,” he said. “They’re so negative, these teabaggers.”

He said, “Listen here you full of $#|+, teabagging f@&&0+$ – I’d never call you a N|&&3r”.  Thanks for the clarification, Congressman.

The offending exchange snapshot:

This should be interesting.  President Frank Marshall Davis, Jr. intends to hold a bidness summit in San Fransicko featuring the people most responsible for nothing ever getting done in this country:

Apple CEO Steve Jobs, who recently took a medical leave of absence from his company, and Google chief executive Eric Schmidt will be among the attendees of President Obama’s event with business leaders in San Francisco Thursday evening, a source familiar with the event tells ABC News.

Earlier today, ABC News reported that one attendee would be 26-year-old founder of Facebook, Mark Zuckerberg, according to a source familiar with the meeting.

So Steve Jobs, the toothpick’s excuse for a man responsible for making all of his little entertainment gadgets with Chinese child slave labor, evildoer Google voyeur / advertiser with a search engine Eric Schmidt and the 26 year old Facebook tech-bubblerider who has led to absolutely no work getting done in every office in America are going to meet with Stan and Mr. Davis’s illegitimate son to:

“…discuss our shared goal of promoting American innovation, and discuss his commitment to new investments in research and development, education and clean energy,” a White House official said

Shorter Zuckerschmidtheads:  To ask for government handouts to have those “American innovations” constructed in countries without labor laws so they can sell their overpriced garbage back to the people underwrote their relocation.  Oh, and to turn around and donate that money right back to Mr. Davis in the next election cycle.

/Because of the assault on Unions!

Is there any serious doubt that this fool and his sperm-aged teleprompter inseminators are a bunch of commie worshipping shitheels?  All of the great things this country has given to the world and the shining example of progress he notes is a historical embarrassment and propaganda coup for our sworn enemies.

It’s like the Chinese pianist playing the anti-American tune at the White House.  If we’re too stupid to know we’re being insulted then it’s not an insult.

What’s next, Michelle My Belle congratulating the Ukrainian famine as an anti-obesity campaign triumph?  No cupcakes for Kulaks.  Kind of catchy!  Like pneumonia.

The light at the end of the tunnel is Amtrak 2.0.  Simply brilliant.

After all the Nazi accusations by his people, the last thing I want to do is board a train while Obama’s still President.   Or visit an oven factory to see my stimulus dollars at work.

/Sputnik!

I’m a little surprised no one has posted this yet. Via Darleen.

Chow down or else.

Here we go again.  Apprise Miss Cleo and Dionne Warwick of a situation.  The JournoList Psychic Friends Network, fresh off a humiliating tarot card reading of the Arizona shooting – where they almost had to give everybody their money back – has decided to don their gypsy wigs and crystal balls one more time to libel people on the right again.  They won’t be able to help themselves:

A backpack found along the route of the Martin Luther King Jr. march in Spokane contained a bomb “capable of inflicting multiple casualties,” the FBI said Tuesday, describing the case as “domestic terrorism.”

The FBI said the Swiss Army-brand backpack was found about 9:25 a.m. PST on Monday on a bench at the northeast corner of North Washington Street and West Main Avenue in downtown Spokane.

Spokane Washington Nazis.  If there’s one thing I hate – it’s Spokane Washington Nazis.

In an interview on msnbc cable’s “The Rachel Maddow Show,” Spokesman-Review reporter Thomas Clouse said confidential sources told him that the device was equipped with a remote control detonator and contained shrapnel.

Rachel Maddow?  Huh???  This “reporter” got routed to the bottom of the barrel awfully quick.

The FBI has not established an official motive, but Harrill told NBC News “the timing and placement of the backpack (along the march route) is inescapable.”

“At that point, it falls directly in the realm and sphere of domestic terrorism,” Harrill told the Associated Press. “Clearly, there was some political or social agenda here.”

On that, we’re agreed.  There’s a political agenda at play and I’d wager that you’d see a mannish looking older lad with a pageboy haircut and an MSNBC microphone sprinting from the scene.

Perhaps  the holy spirit of Martin Luther King, Jr. will be roused from that eternally subsidized mansion in the sky to shame those murderous Tea Partiers bent on ruining the most solemn occasion of the year.  That is what you go to Maddow for, isn’t it?

That fits Teh Narrative(tm) so well all that’s missing is Katie Couric and the SPLC deciding whether it’s the effort to repeal Obamacare or Sarah Palin hosting Kate Plus Eight that set off the barrels full of T-N-T those teabaggers are sitting on.

Are they really going to roll the dice again so soon?  Believe it.

Like, you’d have to be a hep, ten-speed ridin’, ponytail swishing, jazz loving schizopottamus not to make that obvious connection, man.

In a post both unintentionally hilarious and unironically titled “Blindspot”,  a crestfallen Bolshevik laments as to “why there aren’t more full bore socialist bloggers”.  It’s hilarious on several fronts – aside from the supply and demand one that they generally never care much for on any level.

The End of the Left Spectrum just doesn’t have a voice it seems and a slew of big name blogcommies join in to explain why.

No one seems to have tripped over the answer so I’ll provide the Cliff’s Notes:

The national and alt-media subsidizes The Socialist in positions from editor, internet blogger, to research assistant, to columnist, announcer, coffee gaffer, etc.  McCarthyite Blacklists have nothing on the traditional print and television media in the United States from hiring people on the Right.

The media in the U.S. has institutionalized Leftism.  It’s our Rendellian Early Warning System. They’ve generously placed a yoke on their subhuman strength to harness their Stalinist aspirations for some useful (idiot) purpose.  Every year, new Victor Navasky J-School grads till a barren field salted by their previous year’s failures for a wine, cheese and underage male escort stipend.  When they “blog” it’s called “news reporting”.

The Rightwing Pegasus, however, can’t be broken so it still roams the prairie free.

Look no further than the Climategate e-mails from last year.  It was religious blasphemy to even mention the story of purloined e-mails showing Global Warming as a complete and utter fraud in a prelude to one of the more brutal winters on record.  We had to go to Britain to find the story because of the self-imposed blackout in the U.S.

BONUS QUESTION FROM THE COMMENTS:  “But what about Krugman?”

Good question.  Unlike his fellow socialists, Krugman is so uniquely and yet hurriedly wrong about everything that “the unit of measure for how wrong someone is” should be measured in Metric Krugmans.

Public Editor Watch: The NYT Public Editor comments on it’s atrocious AZ Shooter coverage and the name Krugman is nowhere to be found.  Why were they so bad?  Like the AZ shooter, it’s everybody else’s fault but their own.  It’s the Internets fault.  It’s “time’s” fault.  You know, those things beyond the control of an editor.

/Because of 1440/7!

Does this fall under hope or change? I have trouble with categorizationary.

We’ve fallen a long way from G.L.O.W., people.

The louder he yells, the closer the truth catches up to him:

The sheriff has been editorializing and politicizing the event since he took the podium to report on the incident. His blaming of radio personalities and bloggers is a pre-emptive strike because Mr. Dupnik knows this tragedy lays at his feet and his office. Six people died on his watch and he could have prevented it. He needs to step up and start apologizing to the families of the victims instead of spinning this event to serve his own political agenda.

You mean to tell me that Officer Unfriendly had contact with the assailant before he assailed?  This is too good to check.

Jared Loughner has been making death threats by phone to many people in Pima County including staff of Pima Community College, radio personalities and local bloggers. When Pima County Sheriff’s Office was informed, his deputies assured the victims that he was being well managed by the mental health system.

So Sarah Palin and Rush Limbaugh weren’t sending him mind-altering signals telling him to “kill, kill” through the fillings in his teeth when Loughner was threatening the good people of Pima Community College radio AM 1330?

Every victim of his threats previously must also be wondering if this tragedy could have been prevented if they had been more aggressive in pursuing charges against Mr. Loughner. Perhaps with a felony conviction he would never have been able to lawfully by the Glock 9mm Model 19 that he used to strike down the lives of six people and decimate 14 more.

If this is true, I’m just saying if this is true, Sheriff Surly McSlander needs to take out his service revolver and apply some eliminationist rhetoric to himself.

Make no mistake – no one should try to harm this lazy cop.  He’s the one who has to live with himself, or not.

But if it were me and it was my job to protect the county but I was too incompetent to do my job and it resulted in half a dozen dead, another dozen or so injured AND I went out to the cameras for two days to blame other people – I think I’d have the decency to take a big swig of shotgun mouthwash rather than the hearings that are sure to come.

How did this guy get along without a criminal record for so long, chump?

The New Brady Campaign: 5 day waiting period on pitchforks.

They’re not really fascists.  They just ask for things that fascists do in order to keep the public from seeking a redress of their grievances in response to a deaf Congress:

Rep. Robert Brady (D-Pa.) reportedly plans to introduce legislation that would make it a federal crime to use language or symbols that could be perceived as threatening or inciting violence against a federal official or member of Congress.

“Perceived” is the keyword there. No more “targeting” an incumbent in a primary.  No more “breaking out the pitchforks and torches”.

For people who perceive anyone who seeks to limit there power in anyway as a threat, lowering the threshold to their subjective definition is an assault on Free Speech and elevates our Kleptocrats to an untouchable status.

I would say to “kick” him out of office but that sounds like a threat too.  See how that works?

*Ahem*  After a spirited contest of ideas, I propose that the incumbent be gently walked from The People’s Office, through a tickertape parade for his years of loyal service and into a limousine where he will be shuttled to a comfortable job that provides both his family and mistresses a satisfactory lifestyle until Nature runs its course unencumbered from the interference of a mankind undeserving of the blessing of his existence.

That’s bound to get those donations pouring in.