Three freshman Vols arrested, two charged with armed robbery.

Well, CLK, now’s your chance to make an example of these thugs. Your predecessor, the Great Pumpkin, would find some reason to keep these three on the team – at least, that is, if they were going to contribute. Kick these pieces of trash of the team and off campus and set the right tone for this program going forward.

Jackson was going to be the next Eric Berry, what a stupid asshole. What a trio of stupid assholes.

UPDATE:

If you want a peek into the intellectual firepower of this trio, check out Edwards’ Twitter page. Warning: Not Safe for Brain Cells. via Tony B

First of all, and let’s face it, The Great Pumpkin left the UT football program in a state of disarray with marginal lower-level SEC talent and no discipline. When your best option at QB is Crompton, who, by all accounts is a good kid, you’re just not ready to challenge the Floridas, Alabamas and LSUs of the league. You’re not even ready to challenge the South Carolinas and Ole Misses of the league. Crompton simply can’t get it done and if Stephens can’t beat him out, we’re left with few options. (And shave that ridiculous facial hair, Crompton. You are not a member of N’Sync or NKOTB, no matter how much you fantasize about it.)

However, on the bright side, this coaching staff is taking no prisoners (heh, pun intended) when it comes to recruiting and we are looking at a serious SEC contender when 2011, 2012 roll around. Unfortunately, by then our entire economy and society will have collapsed and we won’t even be playing football, but I digress.

Speaking of the Great Pumpkin, he went down to the Daytona Beach QB club and showed what a classless, narcissistic turd he really is. Apparently he is still “P.O.’d” at what the meanies at UT did to him by giving him 6-freaking-million dollars to just go away. And he can’t even get that done. Look up classless in the dictionary and you’ll find Fulmer.

Yeah, he’s chosen to take the high road by hanging around and bitching about how hard it is to decide how to spend that 6-million while sitting on his ass. Is taking the high road taking shots at Kiffin through every possible media outlet and bragging about what “great” shape he left the program in? Me no thinky so.

Um, there’s another example of his complete inability to grasp reality. Meyer has dominated the game for the last several years. UT won one national championship – in spite of, not because of – its coaching staff. Al Wilson was the coach of that ’98 team and anyone paying attention understood that.

It’s time for Phil to head off into the sunset – perhaps coaching at New Mexico or even Wyoming, the school he couldn’t beat last year. Let us enjoy the excitement of rebuilding the program that you ran into the ground.

Speaking of the GATA, it’s time to take another look at that brilliant Congresswoman from the Gainesville area, Corrine Brown. She is a shining example of GATA greatness as well as one of the reasons our government is a gigantic shitpie. With representatives like this, maybe you don’t WANT them to read the bill. Go Gata!

The cupboard is bare, but I believe this coaching staff will get this team to sell out on Saturday. It won’t be enough, but as long as we smash them in the mouth a few times, that works for me. Gata 31 Vol 14

Elsewhere…

• Texas 38 Texas Tech 28 – Texas will take revenge on the Red Raiders after what happened last year. Plus they have those cool looking longhorns on their helmets. Is Marshall Applewhite still their QB?
• Georgia 29 Arkansas 14 – My dad once told me (well, more than once) that the only good thing to come out of Arkansas was an empty Greyhound bus.
• Kentucky 27 Louisville 24 – After the game, all the players will get together and smoke some bluegrass.
• Nebraska 24 Va Tech 22 – Vinnie’s Cornhuskers look to be on the rebound. I like them to continue Va Tech’s early season misery.

If you watched the Titans/Steelers game last week, you were treated to an epic battle of superior defensive play and blood and guts football. I wasn’t too disappointed to lose a close one to the Super Bowl champs – hopefully this will give the Titans some early inspiration to work even harder to improve going forward. I like the Titans to rebound this week over the Texans, 28 – 17.

Elsewhere…

• Giants 24 Cowpokes 20 – It feels like the late 80′s/early 90′s again with meaningful Giants/Cowboys games. I like the Giants D to squash Romo and Co.
• Colts 34 Fish 10 – You would be surprised at how many people around here are Colts fans just cuz ol’ PAAAAAAAAAYTON plays for them. That only makes me root against them on principle. No luck this week.
• Minnesota 44 Detroit 2 – Brett Favre is currently the leading douchebag in all of sports (with Michael Jordan a close second). I hope Detroit at least gets some good shots in on him.
• Steelers 24 Bears 14 – Da Bears will be pounded down like so much tenderloin by the Steelers’ defense. There will be blood.

And, no, Nigel, I haven’t forgotten our bet. I’ll make good next week.

It’s a glorious new day on Rocky Top. The Great Pumpkin’s regime has finally been shown the door. It should have happened at the end of the 2005 season, but we’ll take what we can get.

We now have a coaching staff that is actually coaching players and demanding accountability. No longer will a high school player come in and leave the program a crappier player. That was the Fulmer system – bring in a bunch of thugs, coach ‘em down and send ‘em on to the county lock-up or head to Shoney’s to cover up their off-the-field activities. I wouldn’t even be taking shots at Fulmer if he would have gone gracefully into the history books, but he continues to rear his head in the local media and the douchebags at the Knoxville News-Sentinel and on the Sports Animal keep carrying his water and running down the new staff. Keep it up, losers. The new regime’s train is leaving the station tomorrow and you Fulmer apologists are about to get run over.

Speaking of thugs, did anyone see Oregon player LeGarrette Blount sucker punch a Boise State player last night? Video is here. That turd should be kicked out of school, period – especially after he tried to go into the stands and assaulted some cops in the process. That’s the Oregon Ducks for you, though. Nothin’ but class.

Back to the Vols, a visit from Western Kentucky is the perfect way to ease into the season. This will be a glorified scrimmage, as WKU is just plain awful. Vols win, 44-10.

Elsewhere…

• Bama 28 Va Tech 21 – Unless VA Tech can score 21 points on special teams, Bama should handle the Hokies fairly easily.
• Oklahoma State 38 Georgia 28 – Georgia is not going to enjoy this road trip. They lost an over-rated QB and an over-rated RB from last year’s team, so they may actually be better this year. Should be a fun game to watch.
• Ole Miss 33 Memphis 10 – Is Ole Miss as good as their hype? We’ll find out soon enough. This contest has traditionally been a close one, but not this year.
• LSU 34 Washington 17 – I love those late night west-coast games when I’m almost passed out from spending Saturday drinking an entire bottle of hooch. John Chavis’ LSU defense is going to put the hammer down on UW.

We’ve given the Great Pumpkin a lot of crap, but he has given his all for the Orange, so the least we can do is say thanks for the memories and best of luck. Now we must go on the hunt for the Bruce Pearl of Pigskin.

I’ve gotten word from two different reliable sources that the straw has apparently broken the camel’s back and this will be The Great Pumpkin’s last year as head coach of the Vols.

Obviously none of this is confirmed by the “legit” media, but I’d put at least five bucks on it. For a five dolla foot long.

My friend Patrick GhostofNeyland (sorry, Ghost) sums it up well…

Fulmer gave his all for the Vols, but it’s time for some fresh blood. The old guard has been stale since 2005.

Times are as bleak as can be up on old Rocky Top. We can’t decide on a quarterback. The Great Pumpkin is muttering incoherent things like “we’re a field goal or two away from 3-1″. Recruits are cancelling their plans to come to UT. This normally Vol-football-crazed town could care less about the season at this point. I’m even pulling for Northern Illinois this weekend just to get the pending coaching change going in earnest.

When Big Orange football is in the crapper, this town is dead. Businesses lose money. People don’t go out to dinner or to get sloshed. There will probably be between 60-70K people in Neyland this weekend. We don’t need a economic bailout, we need a football bailout.

Though I am torn about this weekend’s game, I’m afraid the Vols will find a way to win, 28-17. It will be a nice break before getting beaten down like a dog by Georgia next week. Enjoy one of this season’s rare victories this week, Vol fans, because this may be as good as it gets.

Elsewhere…

• Vandy 26 Auburn 18 – Vandy has come out of nowhere to start pounding people. How the hell did this happen? They will sneak past Auburn this week, only because Auburn’s offense sucks.
• Ole Miss 31 South Carolina 24 – Coming off their big win down in the swamp, the Rebels will have the swagger necessary to beat the ‘Cocks.
• Alabama 42 Kensucky 14 – Alabama is the real deal. Kentucky will find this out first hand this weekend.
• Florida State 28 Miami 24 – This used to be a marquee game back in the day, but now it’s just four quarters of ugly.

While things are crappy on Rocky Top, things are much better down in Titantown. They’ve been able to keep Vince Young off the field and from killing himself, and as a result, we’re 4-0. The defense looks absolutely awesome this year, which is giving Collins and Co. a chance to work out the kinks and it’s working well. After beating down the Vikes last week, they have a tough test against the Ravens this week. I’ve hated the Ravens since 2000. Always will. Titans 21 Ravens 17.

Elsewhere…

• Steelers 21 Jaguars 20 – The Steelers’ offense has sputtered but I believe they will get it together enough Sunday night to pull one out.
• Cowboys 31 Bungles 20 – Will the lover’s quarrel between Tony Romeo and Ocho-Uno be enough for viewers to tune in? Probably not.
• San Francisco 33 Patriots 23 – Unless the Pats figure out a way to cheat their way to victory for the rest of the season, it’s going to be a steady string of losses for those over-rated clowns.
• Broncos 27 Bucs 24 – Though they’ve been a pleasant surprise thus far, the Bucs will be gasping for air in the Denver altitude.

And one parting comment on the current state of the Big Orange…

It’s sad when even Smokey is ashamed to show his face.

It was a mysterious week last week at Neyland Stadium. The family and I had a good time, but home-opener attendance had to be in the low 80K’s. Even in the dark days of 2005 I don’t remember seeing this many empty seats. I had a feeling something was up when we kept walking by scalpers offering “buy one, get one free”. Not a good sign for the UT A.D.

Unfortunately, after this week’s slaughter, scalpers will be paying you to take the tickets off their hands. Gaytors 44 Vols 21. Some folks are still convinced that Fulmer has one more rabbit to pull out of his hat, but I believe that the rabbit he’s going to pull out is going to have been dead for weeks and will be covered in maggots.

Last week I did pretty well, going 4/5, but was dead wrong on ND/Michigan. Didn’t see that coming.

Elsewhere…

• LSU 22 Auburn 14 – Auburn looked a lot worse than I expected against Mississippi State. Expect an LSU victory. This will give Auburn something to be pissed off about next week when the Vols crest the hills of Opelika.
• Sun Devils 27 Georgia 24 – Stafford is not the horse that Kelley Washington was. Overrated Bulldaggas go down in the desert. Or possibly not.
• Alabama 28 Arkansas 17 – It’s the battle of the SEC teams with exactly the same uniforms. I can never tell who has the ball in this one so I’m not watching.
• Ole Miss 19 Vandy 14 – Ole Miss still has the hottest – and dumbest – chicks in the SEC. Oh, and they’ll win this one.

When Jeff Fisher announced last week that we’ll be staying with Kerry Collins into the forseeable future, I thought it was the right move. Once VY spends a few weeks in therapy and learns that he’s not the center of the universe, we can move him back up to second string. The Titans’ defense is looking better than I expected – particularly up front – and even with Collins, I’m starting to smell playoffs.

Luckily, we have a week off this week – Titans 27 Texans 14.

I sucked out loud in last weeks pro picks – 2/5. Hopefully this week will be better.

• Dallas 34 Packers 31 – That Cowboys/Eagles game Monday night was excellent. This one should be just as good.
• Denver 24 ‘Aints 17 – I’m starting to think that Jay Cutler may indeed be the second coming of Elway. Or at least Craig Morton.
• Nigel’s Chargers 29 Jets 14 – If the refs don’t interfere in this one and try to fix the game for Brett “Golden Boy” Favre, the Chargers should roll.
• Eagles 31 Steelers 21 – The Steelers were underwhelming against the Browns last week and the Iggles actually looked pretty good. Steelers go down in the battle of Pennsyltucky.

UCLA BET UPDATE:

In fine Six Meat bet-losing tradition, I am making good on my promise to our brother Nigel. UCLA beat us down fair and square three weeks ago (and then lost to BYU 59-0, doesn’t that make us look even better) so it is my duty to don the UCLA colors. Thanks to Nigel for sending me the shirt.

Not only did I wear the shirt, I wore it in public
at the soccer fields. Now that’s payin’ up.

Back by unpopular demand for 2008, it’s Football Friday! Vegas bookies now officially have pee running down their legs – not unlike Chrissy Matthews from PMSNBC.

As all of us in Big Orange Country try and figure out the logic behind the Fulmer raise/extension, the team has been workin’ like heck getting ready for UAB. But we can’t steam forward without acknowledging the catastrophe that took place out at UCLA a few weeks ago.

The Vols’ game plan was to come out throwing and trying to get Crompton into a rhythm, which never happened. The offense looked like absolute crap. The defense, however, looked good for a half.

True to the traditions of the Great Pumpkin, the only adjustments we made at halftime were to change the things that were working and continue trying the things that weren’t. So we backed our defense – particularly our excellent secondary – off the ball and allowed Kevin Craft to pick us apart underneath. Additionally, when we decided we were finally going to focus on the run, we put together the only good drive of the night, which ended in a Foster fumble deep in Bruins territory.

Since Fulmer was once outcoached by a bag of peanuts thrown onto the sidelines by a Vanderbilt fan, it’s no surprise that he was light work for Norm Chow and Rick Neuheisel.

Lucky for Fulmer, his talent will carry him this week against UAB… Tennessee 37, UAB 17..

Elsewhere…

• Southern Cal 33, Ohio State 14 – I would have taken USC in this one even before OSU RB Tookie Williams got hurt.
• Auburn 29, Mississippi State 10 – Auburn is working out the kinks, but will have little trouble against Sylvester the Cat’s woeful Bulldogs.
• Georgia 38, South Carolina 20 – If SC can drop their drawers for Vandy, Georgia will slap them silly. Silly! Sorry Steve, looks like another rough year for your visors.
• Michigan 24, Notre Dame 21 – I used to dig this game, back when both teams didn’t suck out loud. Michigan will suck slightly less than the Irish and squeak out a win.

Poor Vince Young.

He’s spent his whole life as a pampered, ultra-coddled star athlete and now that he’s run into a little adversity, he’s run off and tried to hide from Coach Fisher down at Printers’ Alley.

A little booing and the media starts hitting his mom up with questions like “what’s wrong with your baby boy?”

If VY doesn’t grow up real soon and grow some thicker skin, he’ll need to head up to play for the Toronto Argonauts where nobody gives a crap. Just think if he’d been drafted by a team in real sports town like NYC or Philly?

With Kerry Collins at the helm this week, the Titans will squeak by Ocho Dumbass and his Cincy Bungles – Titans 24 Bengals 21.

Elsewhere in the big leagues…

• New York Jets 23, New England 14 – I can’t stand Favre and his over-inflated ego and grandstanding, but he’s damn good. And now that Tom Brady will be off the field brewing up some more outside children, it’s going to be a rough season for the Pats. J-E-T-S, Jets, Jets, Jets.
• Cowboys 27, Iggles 24 – This should be a good one. I’ll be tuned in just to see if Donovan McChicken and T.O. get into a scrap. That would be sweet.
• Minnesota 27, Indianapolis 20 – The Colts got a wake-up call last week and I don’t believe Minnesota is going to let them up off the mat quite yet. Could it be that Peyton’s diminished surrounding cast of characters is finally coming home to roost? I guess you’ll have to axe Rev. Wright about that one.
• Browns 22, Steelers 19 – I may only be picking the Browns because I want to see the upset, but I always love these old AFC Central rivalries. The Browns have enough in their tank to pull off the upset, but the Steelers could just as easily stomp them. It’s picks like this that demonstrate why I don’t have a 1-900 betting hotline.

Have a good weekend, freaks. I’ll be down at Neyland Stadium tomorrow. I’ll be wearing orange so look for me.

He also reminded me that I missed Football Friday last week. I totally forgot. I’ll pick it back up for this week’s NFL season opener and full slate of college games. I know you need to know who to bet against, and I’m here for your bad gambling habits.

Let me know what shirt size to get you, Nigel. I’ll go ahead and pick it up this afternoon.

UPDATE: Bruins prevail, 27-24. I’m sure glad the Great Pumpkin got that contract extension.

Kudos to Kevin Craft, though, for a hell of a second half. Nigel, I’ll take than in an XL, please. And please cook the crow before I have to eat it.