Sure he’s late to the party and kept to himself.  Mostly.

But there’s no denying that Lanza is Time’s gender neutral “Person” of the Year.

The competition was already murder.  Between Mohammed Morsi, Kim Jong-Un, Sandra Fluke, The Undocumented American – it wasn’t the quantity of people killed but the quality.

What this lanky, saucer eyed mass murderer has done is greater than any Arab Spring.  He’s ushered in the American Fall and the movement to repeal the 2nd Amendment to the United States Constitution.   Many great progressives died on that battlefield of non-gunshot related injuries but it took one brave, differently abled young man to succeed where so many others failed.  With each round he pumped into those elementary school children, our hearts skipped a beat and swelled with pride.  His gun may have been in those cherubic faces but his name was on everyone’s tongue.

What’s he doing??? What’s he wearing??? Ya know?  What makes him tick?  Was his mother a drunk redneck who got what she deserved?

Like watching a young child learn to ride a bicycle, the smile on our faces grew as we watched our own country maturing before our eyes in realization that gun ownership is just plain wrong.  Even hardcore rightwing Republicans like Joe Scarborough and Michael Bloomberg or avid Democrat hunters like Joe Manchin could not deny the tidal wave of change – statistics be damned.

The usual rapid fire NRA put it’s guns in the ground and observed a weeklong silence in agreement that they were totally responsible for what happened.

The sacrifice those kids made for the good of the nation is greater than any fingerpaint or prom they were going to attend.  With each little coffin being delivered to the funeral home we clinked our champagne glasses and toasted Adam Lanza. After all, you can’t make a firearm outlawing omelet without gunning down a few 29th trimester fetuses.  To be certain, we washed the champagne down with bittersweet tears.

No other candidate could even come close to having such a positive impact on our world while making us completely re-evaluate our longheld position on homeschooling.

On behalf of the entire Mainstream Media Complex, we’d like to extend our highest honor to Adam Lanza.  Time Magazine’s Person of the Year.

Cheers,

The Time Magazine Editorial Board

If experience has taught me anything it is that the actual shooter cannot be held responsible for what happened.  Obviously.  Jared Loughner was not responsible.  Sarah Palin was.  Timothy McVeigh wasn’t responsible.  Rush Limbaugh was.   Lee Harvey Oswald wasn’t responsible.  Lyndon Johnson was – but I digress on that point.  We can’t pass the Adam Lanza Registration Act or wargame the Cuckoobird Matrix to see which fine, upstanding Liberal Arts major is going to come down with a case of the shooties or stabbies.

What poor, disaffected youth was not hugged enough – or maybe hugged too much!  Like Goldlilocks, we can’t find that “just right” balance.

So who is to blame? Because, by God, We Have To Do Something…Anything ™.  Preferably before this crisis has gone to waste.  We can discern how the media will react since it’s a rerun.

Like all good fascists, Michael Moore tried to disarm all Americans in Bowling for Columbine after another couple of pampered blue-state rejects decided to shoot up their high school.  A shooting that would later be glamorized in the television series An American Horror Story that sought to humanize the school shooter.  Expect the cavalcade of hypocritical Hollywood A listers to flaunt their high school diplomas too as they make a living in tv and movies where they blow through more ammo on the big screen than they do cocaine in their personal lives.

Violent TV Shows and Music Officially Not Responsible For Anything you blameshifting gun nutters.

Over the years everything from goth culture, violent video games, movies, music, prozac, adderall, gangster rap and somehow rightwing radio seems to catch the blame for the thousand failures they weren’t.  None of which are going to be blamed this time.  With the exception of Rush Limbaugh who is responsible for everything bad that happens in the world.

Don’t Do What Darth Did.

Not this time though.  The fix was in before the killer was wrongly identified.  It was automatic assault rifles that were banned but are now flooding the schoolyards (OMG!!! The Children!) even though no one outside of a gun dealer can own an automatic weapon.  And in the meantime, every amateur Pat Robertson will hammer the square peg of their pet cause into the bullethole of reality.

On the right and the left.  Unashamed exhibitionists flogging themselves senseless in full view of The Children!!!(tm) everywhere to this XXX-rated grief porn until the waterworks squirt like the cathartic money shot.

None will ever ask why is it the “gun free” zones seem to be attacked so frequently or that the people who demand that you be defenseless in order to frequent their business or forced to attend their school bear no responsiblity for protecting you when you do so.

We’re just having a dialogue don’t you know?  A dialogue that always supports infringing on the Bill of Rights in order to protect the powerful instead of meaningful reforms to bad laws that can ultimately protect future victims.  Now that would be a revolutionary act in the age of the stupid and opportunistic.

Well, you might as well watch this. When you’re puzzled as to how so many functionally illiterate drones are puked out of public schools across this country, just remember this Salisbury NC teacher.

These are the gems of the NEA – uninformed, uneducated teachers, unable to be purged from faculties across the country due to the power of the unions. Kudos to these kids for exposing what we already knew was going on in our halls of lower learning.

Were that these berzerker hobos lying-in-wait “islands to themselves”.  Diminishing the 99% with each douche-tastic display.

Needless to say, when you’ve lost a white, vinegary Leftist like Bill Maher – your baggeth runneth over (sausage link to Noel Sheppard at the invaluable NewsBusters):

‘Baggin’ It

BILL MAHER: Let me ask you about another occupation, because this is – and you would be good on this too, panel -, the occupation, the Occupy Wall Street, because similar to Afghanistan, when you occupy anything for too long people do get pissed off. And as I watch them on the news now I find myself almost agreeing with Newt Gingrich. Like, you know what – get a job. Only because, you know, the people who originally started, I think they went home and now it’s just these anarchist stragglers. And this is the problem when you, you know, when your movement involves sleeping over in the park. You wind up attracting the people who were sleeping over in the park anyway.

Please adjust your nozzles accordingly.  That comment may come as a shock to any CBS watching diaper defiler, NPR latte enema-ed poser, or MSNBC kool-aid jello-shooter.

With your feeble attempts to play PR Ernie Pyles for Obama’s Army of unwashed Overcredentialed Under-educateds. Or your futile, shirt-wrenching efforts to plant victory gardens in the barren earth of these buy-now, pay-never Anarchists for greater state control.  The only thing that stood in the way of tilling such a fertile narrative was the immovable stone of Subject and the Content.

Were that we able to douche you out to sea with them.

Worth Every Penny: Even at the low, low cost of FREE no one is reading your agitprop and we'd love to see those Enron accounting circulation numbers.

In case no one has seen a City Paper rack recently, the decline in readership is proportional to it’s Nashville Scene-ification.  To wit, today’s COVER STORY is a 3,000+ word liberal broadside by a freelancing, freeloading Michigander transplant who mooches off his Nashville teacher wife in support of Unions:

Here’s the thing: I believe in unions. I’m not supposed to say that for a number of good reasons. But I think I might be over that now, being free to say the following.

The anti-union legislation now making its way toward passage in our state legislature is not only mean-spirited and unnecessary, but it’s the worst kind of shallow, cynical politics that this shallow, cynical country can produce.

Not shallow and cynical enough for us to turn away all of your illegal aliens, eh Chuckles?

For those J-School grads out there, this is what a resignation looks like.  Charles Maldonado is no longer a credible source for any reporting, freelance or otherwise, and should be summarily dismissed from ever filing for The Nashville City Paper again.  But we know that won’t happen because some editor looked at his 3,000+ word hate screed and thought “Let’s put this on the cover!”

It gets better.

I do not for one second believe that Republicans in the state legislature believe their rhetoric about teachers’ unions. In saying that I’m being generous to them, because if they did believe it, they’d be as gullible and incapable of critical thinking as they present themselves to be. Consider that for a second now, and then again after you finish reading how virtually every bit of factual information in this “debate” over unions has been distorted by officeholders currently waging a political war.

I’m a reporter. I can’t even say any of the above aloud under normal circumstances, let alone write it for publication, but there it is. I’d offer my letter of resignation, but I’m a freelancer, and I can’t resign from my non-job.

Is that final sentence the crux of this bird-flipping to red state Tennessee?  The ball-less Nashville City Paper / Scene staff don’t have the guts to sign the editorial themselves so they farm it to an out-of-state freelancer to provide cover for their cowardice?

I’m also from Michigan, and that means I grew up believing that the labor movement is either directly or indirectly responsible for many good things, not just greed, graft, corruption, political manipulation, and the widescale theft of billions from public treasuries.

That one confused me.  Is he acknowledging Union greed, graft, corruption, political manipulation and widescale theft of public treasuries or is he projecting that onto Republicans?

I think we can all agree that Tennessee would do well to emulate Detroit’s policies and all the good Unions have done for them.

Among them: the 40-hour work week; workplace safety regulations; whistleblower protection; some measure of dignity for people who work for a living; and more or less creating the American middle class. But then again, I was brainwashed. I’m sure if I were from Tennessee, I would know that Davy Crockett did most of that.

So if you don’t subscribe to Chuckle’s pro-union view then you’re a backwater hick who thinks Davey Crockett invented OSHA.  Fuck you, seriously.

Toot-toot-toot.  Unionists belt out “40 Hour Work Week” like it was their only number one hit from 1899 and they’ll play it until Dick Clark quits inviting them on Bandstand.

The last and best reason for me to believe in unions is that my wife, Jenny, who is by far the breadwinner in our home — somehow managing to outshine the $7,159 I pulled in last year by a factor of, let’s say, a lot — is herself a Metro Nashville Public Schools teacher, and thus, the current target of choice for the state GOP’s campaign of folksy divisiveness and arbitrary, albeit maybe focus-grouped, derision. (Or at least she’s one of a select few that includes women, non-Christians — especially Muslims and to a slightly lesser degree seculars — poor people, sick people, children unless they’re not born yet, the whole LGBT spectrum, all immigrants except the ones from business-y countries, and anyone uncomfortable with the idea of being armed all of the time. I think that covers the big ones.)

The last and best reason – unions personally enrich me!

Oh, and if you don’t support giving this jackoff who moved from Michigan to Tennessee because it was so great there then you also hate the poor, the sick, Muslims, atheists, the almighty chirren, gays, spics, wops, dagos, trannies, handicapped wheelchair ramps, free internet access, Black History Month, low-fat margarine, climate change and NPR.  Did we forget anyone?

This is the cover story of a once somewhat respectable DAILY paper now reduced to being the Monday and Thursday version of the Nashville Scene.

A loss of bargaining rights will leave Jenny with nothing between her and lower wages, a reasonable pension and health care contribution, and undoubtedly, wide-scale layoffs at some point.

She’ll still has you, Romeo.  Sitting at home on your ass.  Pulling down $7k large on your populist soapbox being paid to pretend to be a reporter.  I believe it was the famous Beatle Keith Moon who said, “all you need is love”.

Wide scale layoffs from the government hasn’t happened in Obama’s Depression.  Layoffs are what people in the private sector feel.

“You have no idea what it’s like to get in the car, every day, to and from work, and listen to people in the news trashing your profession,” Jenny said.

Of course not.  No one could.  Unless they happened to work for a bank, an energy company, Wal-Mart, an insurance company, a Japanese auto manufacturer who employs Americans, the US Chamber of Commerce, and any other private sector company during Obama’s Two Minutes Hate against non-government business.

It rambles on and on and on and on and on everything from Tennessee unionists not being in-your-face enough like those successful Michigan ones to wild accusations about CCA (the private prison company) running it’s own Fight Club.  You broke Rule #1, Chucky!

The Closer:

The Wrong side has always been composed of living people who likely don’t realize, in the moment, that their actions and beliefs would one day be judged as bankrupt. At one time you could have asked some of them, ordinary mortal humans like Joe McCarthy or George Wallace, how it feels to have your life worked over like that, your ordinary mortal human actions retold over and over again as the bad guy part in a morality play for so many consecutive years. It would have to be a kind of living hell, made all the worse by the fact that it was the hell nearly everyone thought they deserved.

We’ve already been judged as bankrupt.  Literally.  Our country is bankrupt.  Not morally.  Financially.  Not bending over for unions does not mean people supported George Wallace turning firehoses on black people, you delusional asshole.  Although Joe McCarthy would have a field day with all of the certified Communists in the Labor movement.

There goes Separation of Church and State out the window again.  We live in “Hells we think we deserve” but Heaven is available if you want the government to provide it for you.

Just ask for forgiveness on bended knee before your secular god.  Your handout will runneth over.

I’ll keep my closer short:

You take to the pages of a once respectable paper ruined by your deadbeat bosses to insult Tennesseans as racist hillbillies who think Davey Crockett invented the light bulb.

This is how you ask for people to support your position.  Then again, it’s really not.  You know you’ve lost so you’re setting fire to the oil wells with the help of your cowardly editors hiding under the skirt of your tenuous employment relationship that was their responsibility.

Go back to Michigan, asshole, and take your moron wife with you where you will be appreciated.

And for the Scene Editors, if you gave a shit about Charles Maldonado you could have given him a full-time job and offered him healthcare coverage.  Would that have cut into Jeff Woods’ skull simonizing budget or Jim Ridley’s Analese allowance?  Judging by the current staff, evidently he’s not white enough.

You gave a Facebook rant cover story to a guy who’s welfare is your responsibility.  Gutless, blame shifting cowards.  This was the editorial equivalent of a suicide bombing of your own paper’s last couple of readers.

If it makes you feel any better, 99% of those corn cobs vote Democrat.

Don’t worry, Li’l Davey.  The state’s going to provide this Kernell all the butter and salt he needs.

A federal judge has shot down a former University of Tennessee student’s bid to have tossed out convictions in the illegal access of Sarah Palin’s personal e-mail account during the 2008 presidential election.

[...]

Davies argued it was nothing more than a college prick prank by a rank assbag computer amateur. Federal prosecutors assigned a more sinister motive, arguing Kernell, the son of long-time Memphis Democratic state Rep. Mike Kernell, went searching for politically damaging information but came up empty-handed.

The feds slapped Kernell with four felony charges. At his trial in April jurors rejected a wire fraud charge outright, reduced a felony illegal e-mail access charge to a misdemeanor, deadlocked on an identity theft count and convicted Kernell of the felony charge of anticipatory obstruction of justice.

It’s always the “cover-up” that gets you.  It has dibs. But after the cover-up gets you then Jamal does.

Riddle me this:  If Li’l Davy gets his ass kernel popped in Cell block 6 will it make a sound?  I’m guessing yes.  First a wimper, followed by some open weeping before Big Bear’s squeaky bed springs gently rock him to sleep.  Maybe that will be more “his type”.

Night, night ya jag.  It’s a real shame that a few of your unscrupulous supporters can’t go with you in a show of solidarity.

My historic post on the historic Comprehensive Illegal Alien Giveaway Speech:

So the bottom line is this: The southern border is more secure today than at any time in the past 20 years. That doesn’t mean we don’t have more work to do. We have to do that work, but it’s important that we acknowledge the facts.

Don’t tell these guys.  They’re really committed to the lie:

6/30/10

Here is the letter by Texas Attorney General Greg Abbott:

The White House

1600 Pennsylvania Avenue NW

Washington, DC 20500

Dear Mr. President,

Deadly violence from drug cartels and transnational gangs in Mexico is knocking on the United States’ door with ever increasing frequency.

Yesterday, gunfire from the cartels pierced that threshold and struck City Hall in El Paso. Fortunately no one was injured or killed. But that good fortune was not the result of effective border control – it was mere luck that the bullets struck buildings rather than bodies.

Luck and good fortune are not effective border enforcement policies. The shocking reality of cross border gunfire proves the cold reality: American lives are at risk. As the attached news article notes: “More than 1,300 people have been murdered in Juárez this year as a war continues relentlessly between the Juárez and Sinaloa drug cartels.” Americans must be protected as this deadly war bulges at our border.

Not protecting our states from foreign invaders, encouraging it in fact, is gross neglect of duty and grounds for Impeachment.  In a time of record unemployment, while Congress is constantly bickering over extending unemployment benefits constituting a “jobs bill”, the US Secretary of Labor is doing promos for a hotline advertising for illegal aliens to call in and “get their due” for the jobs they’ve stolen from the tens of millions of unemployed and underemployed.  Doesn’t she know that she’s breaking the law?

In closing, The Amnestasizer shot his wad of revisionist history in the Statue of Liberty’s hair.

“Here at our sea-washed, sunset gates shall stand,” she wrote,

A mighty woman with a torch…
From her beacon-hand
Glows world-wide welcome…
“Keep, ancient lands, your storied pomp!”…
“Give me your tired, and your poor,
Your huddled masses yearning to be free…
Send these, the homeless, tempest-tossed to me,
I lift my lamp beside the golden door!”

Let us remember these words. For it falls on each generation to ensure that that lamp -– that beacon -– continues to shine as a source of hope around the world, and a source of our prosperity here at home.

Ummm, no. That torch is meant to represent Liberty and Freedom to the world as an example.  A beacon to people escaping oppression not unlike the one being prescribed by Mad King Barack, M.D.  It was not to attract all of the gnats and insects like some ancient bug zapper with the lure of the DREAM Act, ObamaCare, SEIU card-check and a voter ID you commie scumbag.

These women, and men and women across this country like them, remind us that immigrants have always helped to build and defend this country -– and that being an American is not a matter of blood or birth.

Utter insanity.  With this speech, every thief, rapist, drug dealer and murderer in Mexico and Central America knows that if they can get over the border before November that they have a chance at becoming a US citizen without so much as a background check.

I’m not a religious person but God fucking help us all.

Plessy vs. Ferguson never got such good press!

“Diversity”  had its biggest setback since the last time this weekend when The Woman With The Biggest Chip On Her Shoulder gave a commencement speech to a bunch of neo-segregationists:

Michelle Obama told graduates Saturday to prepare to overcome adversity, building on Martin Luther King Jr.’s 1958 commencement address at the same university, when he told students to summon their courage to fight segregation.

The first lady gave an impassioned speech to 270 graduates of the University of Arkansas at Pine Bluff that referenced the legacy of their historically black school, which opened in 1873 with seven students, most of whom could barely read.

…

“Let’s just imagine how those seven students would feel if they could see you here today,” Obama told a packed downtown arena.

Imagine seven black students in 1873 cheering that their descendants would still be separated from learning with children of others races in the year 2010.  By choice.   In 1873, seven students could barely read.  In 2010, they can barely comprehend.  Your chocolate’s not going anywhere near my peanut butter!

If Martin Luther King Jr. “told students to summon their courage to fight segregation”, what measure of success is it that the President, his bitter half and a cottage industry of grievance colleges encourage drinking at a separate but equal educational water fountain?

People in the audience said they hope her appearance draws more attention to historically black colleges.

Promoting and underwriting a racially segregationist public education is banned by the Constitution and is downright un-American.  It’s too bad that Mrs. Obama’s commencement speech is more akin to the Bull Connor than to Brown vs. the Board of Education.

In response to the Georgia Right-To-Life billboard above, another overeducated fool stumbles on the Holy Grail Fail:

Abortion rights advocates are disturbed. Spelman College professor Beverly Guy-Sheftall called the strategy a gimmick.

“To use racist arguments to try to bait black people to get them to be anti-abortion is just disgusting,” said Guy-Sheftall, who teaches women’s history and feminist thought at the historically black women’s college.

“These one-issue approaches that are not about saving the black family or black children, it’s just a big distraction,” she said. “Many black people don’t know who Margaret Sanger is and could care less.”

To use anti-racist arguments to bait black people into killing themselves is what’s disgusting in an evil genius kind of way.  You don’t know who Margaret Sanger is but I assure you that she’s looking up to you and smiling at this very moment for continuing her pioneering work in  “Weed” Eradication.

Fortunately for you, your mother was not as “educated” as you are.

Dramatic Re-enactment

Portrait of 69,456,897 Oddballs. We’re going to need a bigger canvas:

A family source said Bishop…was a far-left political extremist who was “obsessed” with President Obama to the point of being off-putting.

This story of the Alabama professor who gunned down her colleagues just keeps getting stranger and stranger. After all, I’ve never heard of a far-left extremist in Academia with an off-putting Obama cult mentality before.

Somebody get Incompetano monitoring the Twitter feeds. We may have to shut down every single U.S. college and newsroom. When this latter-day Unabombette was questioned about mailing a pipebomb to a doctor thanklessly tasked with examining some of her research:

“She was quite cavalier about it,” Fluckiger said of Bishop’s description of her interview with police. She said Bishop “grinned” as she described being asked by cops whether she’d ever taken stamps off an envelope and fastened them onto something else. “I cannot tell you what the grin meant,” Fluckiger said.

Seven years prior, Bishop shot her brother to death in Braintree in an incident that was ruled an accident at the time.

Somehow none of this disqualified her from jumping in front of a classroom full of kids.

Oh, and she tried to hold up a car dealership.  It’s stuff like this that makes Massachusetts look like some commie cuddling, crook coddling CuckooLand.

Sometimes appearances can be deceiving.  Other times, devastatingly accurate.

Homeland Security can just wait until Bishop gets her own show on MSNBC. At least that would ensure that her infectious ideas won’t be exposed to as many people as the university.

No word yet as to whether the President will send out some free t-shirts for the victims but I expect a full rebuke of violent, leftwing looney bin radio is forthcoming.

I don’t know what Day By Day’s copyright standards are or I would have reposted it here but this pretty well sums it up.

Really, what would we do without the Federal Government? Here, Kathleen Sebelius, former Governor of Kansas, demonstrates how to cough properly.

Leave it to the Anti-American Associated Press to find this event newsworthy.

In next week’s installment, the Federal Government will teach us how to use soap.

The Old Media is aghast that anyone would dare question the wisdom of putting our Commie-in-Chief in front of a bunch of school kids to force his way into their psyche so that they may give and serve Dear Leader at his request.

I mean, come on, all he’s telling them is to stay in school and learn to read, right?

When President Bush Sr wanted to tell kids not to do drugs, they dragged him in front of Congress and tried to get him impeached.

I say we drag Rahm, Axlegrease, Soros and the rest of the Administration before Congress and just spit loogies on them. We don’t even have to question them. Just coat them with phlegm and then tell them to get the hell out.

The worst part of all this? The fact that we even have a Federal Department of Education. No President should have a role in public education. Period.

Did you know that you can now sue a teacher who expresses a fact contrary to your political ideology?  It’s true.

Well, technically you can sue anybody for any reason at all.  It doesn’t mean that you’ll win but you can certainly waste everybody’s money and time which is really the point of the legal terrorism that some people gleefully engage in.

Case in point, Robertson county’s own Rick Casares is throwing down the gauntlet because a teacher had the nerve to say that illegal immigration is a burden on our healthcare system.  Behold, fajita-eating fascism at it’s finest:

It has come to my attention that you use your classroom to extol the virtues of Conservative thought.  It should not be my responsibility to remind you that you are there to teach, not preach.  It is your right to have an opinion, but it is my right to have my daughter receive an education free from political propaganda.  You may not be aware that Alena’s grandparents were undocumented when they arrived in this country.  Your inference that illegal immigrants are to blame for this country’s health care crisis upset her, and I am putting you on notice that if it happens again, I will contact our family’s attorney.  I am sure the Robertson County School District has plenty of excess funds with which to fight off a lawsuit, especially one where precedent is clearly set.

Nevermind if what the teacher said was true.  Since it is. It’s also a burden on the school systems while we’re at it. And the courts. Admittedly, since hospitals do not track this information it’s hard to determine an exact number but having hard data has never stopped hard headed liberals before. Just ask a discredited Lancet study that every liberal sings by heart.

Rick’s site “Coyote Chronicles” is presumably a celebration of the noble “coyote”. A coyote is a man who sees another man with a leafblower and a dream and helps him to scam government services and drunk drive over families after fleeing the mess he made of his own country under the cover of darkness for a nominally outrageous fee. Not a celebration of the same coyotes who haul in the drugs and human traffic hispanics into the underground sex slave trade. Just so we’re clear. Coyotes with a heart of gold.

Some people conservatively put that healthcare number at $10.7 billion a year. But we know how some people feel about the word “Conservative” so let’s make that a more liberal number like $100 Billion a year. The facts aren’t fully in but if you don’t consider potentially billions of unpaid hospital bills a burden on the system, maybe not the biggest but definitely big by any measure, then perhaps you’d like to just give me $500,000 since it ain’t no thing.

You see, by Mr. Casares’ estimation no teacher can interject their opinion into a classroom if that opinion upsets their child or a parent’s well-established set of beliefs (no matter how ill-founded) to which I wholeheartedly agree!

By that rationale, we can now sue every teacher and school system who:

- teaches evolution as a fact and not a theory.
- Teaches sex education to under 13 youngsters at all instead of leaving it to their parents
- Teaching elementary schoolers that Heather Having Two Mommies is a-okay
- insult children if their parents voted for John McCain (and make them cry – call my attorney!)
- recruiting students to work for political campaigns in exchange for credit

Just a few. If we were to throw out all the bums who teach their opinions as fact the schools and colleges would be closed tomorrow. I guess it only matters when you feel it’s your particular pet issue that’s being attacked once in a very infrequent while.

Try having the board that accredits the schools forcing teachers to take an ideological litmus test before they could teach and forcing students to take a loyalty test to their definition of “social justice” before they would be allowed to graduate and then get back with me.

This is really very simple, Sir. Were the shoe on the other foot, and I had your children in my classroom, and attempted to indoctrinate my charges into the Godless, heathen, liberal agenda, I believe you would be as concerned as I.

And a godless, heathen, liberal agenda isn’t what we have now?

By their own description, 72 percent of those teaching at American universities and colleges are liberal and 15 percent are conservative, says the study being published this week. The imbalance is almost as striking in partisan terms, with 50 percent of the faculty members surveyed identifying themselves as Democrats and 11 percent as Republicans.

We just need to sue everybody who presents their opinions as fact in the public school system and browbeats their students with it. Were it the case, your leftarded side would be getting beat with the shit end of the stick that they wield so often that it has prompted a nationwide homeschooling movement.

Do yourself a favor “Teach” and take out the warrant now. Casares and reasoned debate go together like Ivan Moreno and Mary Sadler. Reasoned debate may try to put up a good fight but at the end of the day it’s going to be strangled to death and raped in the name of diversity.

Very early, according to Woman of Abomination.

Don’t forget hope, WoA.

RTWT.

Behold!  The negotiating prowess of the United Auto Workers.

Is it worthwhile to have a job and work out the retiree health benefits issue later or to have no company, no job and no health benefits now or later?  If you guessed the later, welcome to the worst economy in recent memory.  You are not going to find a $75 an hour job with three or four months of paid vacation per year and to-the-grave healthcare for turning out substandard, overpriced cars.

Back to work dock monkeys.

I’ve been completely happy with my Zune until about 2 am this morning. That was roughly around the time that every first generation 30GB Zune in the world froze up with no foreseeable fix in sight outside of a hard reset.   Z2K9 – here we come!

An unidentified software bug has affected 30GB first generation versions of the Microsoft Zune digital media player.

The company appears baffled by the cause but on its website said it is aware of the problem and is working to correct it.

The problem is apparently a worldwide one with customers reporting their devices freeze when booted.

Let’s not confuse “appears baffled” with “pantshittingly retarded”.

Quote one expert:

“I’ve never heard of a consumer electronic device fail en masse like this,” said Matt Rosoff, an analyst with Directions on Microsoft, a Seattle-based research firm that focuses on the software giant.

Rosoff estimated that as many as one million people may have been affected by the glitch, which disabled the original 30 gigabyte Zune players.

Never again, MicroStank.  This the Corvair of the Digital Age and unsafe at any speed.

Due to your complete inability to produce a media player untainted by the foul stench of your software failures, I will never buy one of these again and will likely choose a Mac or a Linux OS in the future for all future desktops or laptops.

Congratulations on another successful PR campaign, doucherags.  Z2K9, indeed.

Not one just to bitch and moan, I’m all about solutions:

A)  You can bite the bullet and trade these out for new models of the same size.

B)  Sub out the repair to local outlets like Best Buy.

C) Overnight the tiny screwdriver kit to remove the case to everyone responding on your website with directions for the hard reset.  Not even my eyeglass screwdriver is small enough to fit these screws.

D)  Eat the peanuts out of my crap.

The choice is yours.

Cranky gloats in the comments.  What can I say?  We didn’t listen!

Blank Zune templates after the jump.  Just do a “Save As” and  Photoshop your own idea of what a real frozen Zune screen should look like and I’ll post them (send to -b-dot-mcmurphy-at-yah00000!-dot-com).

Micro Soft On Quality Update: Allegedly this time freeing feature of the Zune will work itself out at the stroke of midnight.  In other words, “don’t just do something – sit there!”*

Yay.  Just in time for everybody to go home.

Another wonderful bit of tech advice from the people who never met a problem that powering down your system and restarting couldn’t fix.

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2nd and 3rd String cannot be any worse.  Please, oh merciful Lord (the Obamessiah), from my mouth to your ears, from your telekinetic brainwaves to the talking hot dog bun in The Great Pumpkin’s fanny pack.  Please, for all that is Orange outside of prison jumpsuits and traffic cones, set Jonathan Crompton down until further notice:

It’s halftime at Neyland Stadium, and one team looks like it’s serious about winning a championship. The other looks like it’s serious about … well, being the laughing stock of the SEC.

We all make mistakes.  Hell, I bought the wrong kind of Wet Jet hardwood floor solution at the store 2 years ago and I haven’t heard the end of it yet.

Your playcalling is to scoring what RU-486 is to a birthday party at Chuck E. Cheese.  It’s just not happening.

My drinking, however, is coming along quite nicely.

Fulmer, you should be handed a pink slip at the end of this game.

Didn’t see this coming didja?  Gotcha!

Palin claim on eBay plane sale* doesn’t fly

(ed. – italics and asterisk mine)

JUNEAU, Alaska — When Alaska Gov. Sarah Palin sought to illustrate her frugality and flair to delegates at the GOP convention Wednesday, she described how she disposed of a corporate jet acquired by her unpopular predecessor.

“That luxury jet was over the top,” Palin, the Republican vice presidential nominee, said to loud cheers. “I put it on eBay.”

Palin’s statement implied the plane was sold through the online auction site revered for empowering millions of small entrepreneurs, and Palin’s spokeswoman insisted Thursday that the transaction occurred. But the plane failed to sell on eBay.

This is where we have to explain to people who presumably studied journalism for years the difference between an “implication” and an “inference”.

I put a set of Polk Audio speakers on Craigslist but since no one offered me what I asked for, I am now a liar for saying that I put my speakers on Craigslist too.  Dammit.  There is no winning with you guys.

Instead, the 23-year-old 10-seat Westwind II was sold in August 2007 for $2.1 million to a Valdez, Alaska, entrepreneur; that’s about $300,000 less than a broker’s asking price, according to news accounts.

And she can’t negotiate for squat either.  We’ll ignore the differences between replacement cost, fair market value, “as-is / where-is”, or orderly liquidation costs for the time being as this courageously robust and beefy bit of e-Tarded Old Media sleuthery has shown that Palin’s red meat was only fit for Republican consumption – not human consumption.

Kudos, fellas.  Next up, that’s not her real hair color.  *Meeeeow*.

Here’s the eBay Plane Sale I’m waiting to see and good bidding!

Sharpen your pencils, kids:

People dying to ______________ to Marilyn Monroe’s newly discovered sex tape are as disgusting as Jimmy Carter wanting to ______________ Yasser Arafat’s AIDS riddled corpse*.

I can admit when I’m wrong.  Vanilla Ice still can get arrested in this town:

The police report tells a slightly different story that Palm Beach County Sheriff’s deputies say began with a call from Laura saying Van Winkle struck and kicked her during an argument at their $801,695 Wellington home.

But Laura played down the dispute when sheriff’s deputies arrived around 7:45 p.m. Thursday, saying she was pushed, not kicked or struck.

“Forget the whole thing,” she said, telling deputies she didn’t want to deal with the media attention and “just wanted a divorce.”

When you take the name “Van Winkle” in holy matrimony you are making a pact, bitch.   A pact that says “I’ll screw an early 90s has-been to live in an $800,000 house.”

Own it. Or at least half of it.

Why we’re not too keen on the recent Knox County rezoning proposal for our neighborhood.

h/t Cutting School

By way of Glen Dean’s completely innocuous post that got threadjacked:

But that you have no right to be born until a head pops out is disingenuous. Maybe I’m the worse in this line of thinking for having demystified the gated community that is the vagina where rights cannot enter but only escape upon crossing some magical threshold.

I want to believe in the magic but somehow I can’t suspend my imagination long enough to concede the rabbit wasn’t present before he got yanked out of the tophat.

Our increasing unlikely drinking acquaintance, Sarcastro, recently became the proud papa of a fully-functional fetus and I’ve been at loggerheads trying to determine why a baby should have no rights at 8 months, 30 days and 12 hours but is slapped on the ass with a spanking new copy of The Constitution at 9 months.

Bunny Christ, why do you mock me with peep induced visions? Were that I cast in your furry image I could twitch my nose, hop along, and dwell in pollinated fields of sweet, fetus carrots forever and ever. Amen.

I suppose it’s no mystery why the rest of the country mercilessly mocks the South. Especially when our *chuckle* best and brightest legislators do stuff like this: State Senator calls for answer on Creation of the Universe.

(Shakes head in shame…)

Can’t you just hear it? “Get me the answer to the origin of all creation – and have it on my desk by Friday…”

Then again, it’s just another political publicity stunt that further demonstrates the level of intelligent discourse that goes on in our state government. It’s hard to say for sure, but I have a feeling that our state may lead the nation in political publicity stunts.

Yep, publicity stunt.

The most embarrassing part of the whole affair may be that the Senator is going to the State Department of Education for the answer to any important question. If the topic isn’t directly related to skin-color- or sexual-orientation-based- diversity training, I’m afraid the TDOE probably doesn’t have much to offer in the way of actual answers.

UPDATE: Also see Uncle’s exclusive interview. Thanks Lissa!

WaPo weenie Courtland Malloy wet himself shortly before clutching his pearls and fainting yesterday when faced with soaring violence that’s grabbing national headlines as a result of the gruesome throat-slashing of a British activist. But don’t dial 911 yet, the Washington Post is keeping it all in perspective:

A new crime trend is unfolding in the District — and some suburbs, too: an increase in armed robberies committed by thugs whose motivation appears to be less about getting money than inflicting pain. For even if you comply with demands to hand over your belongings, you are still likely to be assaulted, raped, kidnapped or killed.
[...]
“So far this year, we’ve had a 95 percent increase in juveniles arrested for robberies, and it’s not uncommon to have physical assaults in the process,” D.C. Police Chief Charles H. Ramsey..,

So we’ve eschewed money as the primary catalyst to Washington’s criminal woes but still embrace class war?

“We’ve got a lot of new people who are not accustomed to living in an urban environment,” Ramsey said. “They’ll park blocks away from a restaurant or a nightclub, then come out in the early morning hours, cut through side streets and become easy prey.”

Insty picks up on the “more guns, less crime” theme.
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