Needless to say, when you’ve lost a white, vinegary Leftist like Bill Maher – your baggeth runneth over (sausage link to Noel Sheppard at the invaluable NewsBusters):

‘Baggin’ It

BILL MAHER: Let me ask you about another occupation, because this is – and you would be good on this too, panel -, the occupation, the Occupy Wall Street, because similar to Afghanistan, when you occupy anything for too long people do get pissed off. And as I watch them on the news now I find myself almost agreeing with Newt Gingrich. Like, you know what – get a job. Only because, you know, the people who originally started, I think they went home and now it’s just these anarchist stragglers. And this is the problem when you, you know, when your movement involves sleeping over in the park. You wind up attracting the people who were sleeping over in the park anyway.

Please adjust your nozzles accordingly.  That comment may come as a shock to any CBS watching diaper defiler, NPR latte enema-ed poser, or MSNBC kool-aid jello-shooter.

With your feeble attempts to play PR Ernie Pyles for Obama’s Army of unwashed Overcredentialed Under-educateds. Or your futile, shirt-wrenching efforts to plant victory gardens in the barren earth of these buy-now, pay-never Anarchists for greater state control.  The only thing that stood in the way of tilling such a fertile narrative was the immovable stone of Subject and the Content.

Were that we able to douche you out to sea with them.

Worth Every Penny: Even at the low, low cost of FREE no one is reading your agitprop and we'd love to see those Enron accounting circulation numbers.

In case no one has seen a City Paper rack recently, the decline in readership is proportional to it’s Nashville Scene-ification.  To wit, today’s COVER STORY is a 3,000+ word liberal broadside by a freelancing, freeloading Michigander transplant who mooches off his Nashville teacher wife in support of Unions:

Here’s the thing: I believe in unions. I’m not supposed to say that for a number of good reasons. But I think I might be over that now, being free to say the following.

The anti-union legislation now making its way toward passage in our state legislature is not only mean-spirited and unnecessary, but it’s the worst kind of shallow, cynical politics that this shallow, cynical country can produce.

Not shallow and cynical enough for us to turn away all of your illegal aliens, eh Chuckles?

For those J-School grads out there, this is what a resignation looks like.  Charles Maldonado is no longer a credible source for any reporting, freelance or otherwise, and should be summarily dismissed from ever filing for The Nashville City Paper again.  But we know that won’t happen because some editor looked at his 3,000+ word hate screed and thought “Let’s put this on the cover!”

It gets better.

I do not for one second believe that Republicans in the state legislature believe their rhetoric about teachers’ unions. In saying that I’m being generous to them, because if they did believe it, they’d be as gullible and incapable of critical thinking as they present themselves to be. Consider that for a second now, and then again after you finish reading how virtually every bit of factual information in this “debate” over unions has been distorted by officeholders currently waging a political war.

I’m a reporter. I can’t even say any of the above aloud under normal circumstances, let alone write it for publication, but there it is. I’d offer my letter of resignation, but I’m a freelancer, and I can’t resign from my non-job.

Is that final sentence the crux of this bird-flipping to red state Tennessee?  The ball-less Nashville City Paper / Scene staff don’t have the guts to sign the editorial themselves so they farm it to an out-of-state freelancer to provide cover for their cowardice?

I’m also from Michigan, and that means I grew up believing that the labor movement is either directly or indirectly responsible for many good things, not just greed, graft, corruption, political manipulation, and the widescale theft of billions from public treasuries.

That one confused me.  Is he acknowledging Union greed, graft, corruption, political manipulation and widescale theft of public treasuries or is he projecting that onto Republicans?

I think we can all agree that Tennessee would do well to emulate Detroit’s policies and all the good Unions have done for them.

Among them: the 40-hour work week; workplace safety regulations; whistleblower protection; some measure of dignity for people who work for a living; and more or less creating the American middle class. But then again, I was brainwashed. I’m sure if I were from Tennessee, I would know that Davy Crockett did most of that.

So if you don’t subscribe to Chuckle’s pro-union view then you’re a backwater hick who thinks Davey Crockett invented OSHA.  Fuck you, seriously.

Toot-toot-toot.  Unionists belt out “40 Hour Work Week” like it was their only number one hit from 1899 and they’ll play it until Dick Clark quits inviting them on Bandstand.

The last and best reason for me to believe in unions is that my wife, Jenny, who is by far the breadwinner in our home — somehow managing to outshine the $7,159 I pulled in last year by a factor of, let’s say, a lot — is herself a Metro Nashville Public Schools teacher, and thus, the current target of choice for the state GOP’s campaign of folksy divisiveness and arbitrary, albeit maybe focus-grouped, derision. (Or at least she’s one of a select few that includes women, non-Christians — especially Muslims and to a slightly lesser degree seculars — poor people, sick people, children unless they’re not born yet, the whole LGBT spectrum, all immigrants except the ones from business-y countries, and anyone uncomfortable with the idea of being armed all of the time. I think that covers the big ones.)

The last and best reason – unions personally enrich me!

Oh, and if you don’t support giving this jackoff who moved from Michigan to Tennessee because it was so great there then you also hate the poor, the sick, Muslims, atheists, the almighty chirren, gays, spics, wops, dagos, trannies, handicapped wheelchair ramps, free internet access, Black History Month, low-fat margarine, climate change and NPR.  Did we forget anyone?

This is the cover story of a once somewhat respectable DAILY paper now reduced to being the Monday and Thursday version of the Nashville Scene.

A loss of bargaining rights will leave Jenny with nothing between her and lower wages, a reasonable pension and health care contribution, and undoubtedly, wide-scale layoffs at some point.

She’ll still has you, Romeo.  Sitting at home on your ass.  Pulling down $7k large on your populist soapbox being paid to pretend to be a reporter.  I believe it was the famous Beatle Keith Moon who said, “all you need is love”.

Wide scale layoffs from the government hasn’t happened in Obama’s Depression.  Layoffs are what people in the private sector feel.

“You have no idea what it’s like to get in the car, every day, to and from work, and listen to people in the news trashing your profession,” Jenny said.

Of course not.  No one could.  Unless they happened to work for a bank, an energy company, Wal-Mart, an insurance company, a Japanese auto manufacturer who employs Americans, the US Chamber of Commerce, and any other private sector company during Obama’s Two Minutes Hate against non-government business.

It rambles on and on and on and on and on everything from Tennessee unionists not being in-your-face enough like those successful Michigan ones to wild accusations about CCA (the private prison company) running it’s own Fight Club.  You broke Rule #1, Chucky!

The Closer:

The Wrong side has always been composed of living people who likely don’t realize, in the moment, that their actions and beliefs would one day be judged as bankrupt. At one time you could have asked some of them, ordinary mortal humans like Joe McCarthy or George Wallace, how it feels to have your life worked over like that, your ordinary mortal human actions retold over and over again as the bad guy part in a morality play for so many consecutive years. It would have to be a kind of living hell, made all the worse by the fact that it was the hell nearly everyone thought they deserved.

We’ve already been judged as bankrupt.  Literally.  Our country is bankrupt.  Not morally.  Financially.  Not bending over for unions does not mean people supported George Wallace turning firehoses on black people, you delusional asshole.  Although Joe McCarthy would have a field day with all of the certified Communists in the Labor movement.

There goes Separation of Church and State out the window again.  We live in “Hells we think we deserve” but Heaven is available if you want the government to provide it for you.

Just ask for forgiveness on bended knee before your secular god.  Your handout will runneth over.

I’ll keep my closer short:

You take to the pages of a once respectable paper ruined by your deadbeat bosses to insult Tennesseans as racist hillbillies who think Davey Crockett invented the light bulb.

This is how you ask for people to support your position.  Then again, it’s really not.  You know you’ve lost so you’re setting fire to the oil wells with the help of your cowardly editors hiding under the skirt of your tenuous employment relationship that was their responsibility.

Go back to Michigan, asshole, and take your moron wife with you where you will be appreciated.

And for the Scene Editors, if you gave a shit about Charles Maldonado you could have given him a full-time job and offered him healthcare coverage.  Would that have cut into Jeff Woods’ skull simonizing budget or Jim Ridley’s Analese allowance?  Judging by the current staff, evidently he’s not white enough.

You gave a Facebook rant cover story to a guy who’s welfare is your responsibility.  Gutless, blame shifting cowards.  This was the editorial equivalent of a suicide bombing of your own paper’s last couple of readers.

If it makes you feel any better, 99% of those corn cobs vote Democrat.

Don’t worry, Li’l Davey.  The state’s going to provide this Kernell all the butter and salt he needs.

A federal judge has shot down a former University of Tennessee student’s bid to have tossed out convictions in the illegal access of Sarah Palin’s personal e-mail account during the 2008 presidential election.

[...]

Davies argued it was nothing more than a college prick prank by a rank assbag computer amateur. Federal prosecutors assigned a more sinister motive, arguing Kernell, the son of long-time Memphis Democratic state Rep. Mike Kernell, went searching for politically damaging information but came up empty-handed.

The feds slapped Kernell with four felony charges. At his trial in April jurors rejected a wire fraud charge outright, reduced a felony illegal e-mail access charge to a misdemeanor, deadlocked on an identity theft count and convicted Kernell of the felony charge of anticipatory obstruction of justice.

It’s always the “cover-up” that gets you.  It has dibs. But after the cover-up gets you then Jamal does.

Riddle me this:  If Li’l Davy gets his ass kernel popped in Cell block 6 will it make a sound?  I’m guessing yes.  First a wimper, followed by some open weeping before Big Bear’s squeaky bed springs gently rock him to sleep.  Maybe that will be more “his type”.

Night, night ya jag.  It’s a real shame that a few of your unscrupulous supporters can’t go with you in a show of solidarity.

So the bottom line is this: The southern border is more secure today than at any time in the past 20 years. That doesn’t mean we don’t have more work to do. We have to do that work, but it’s important that we acknowledge the facts.

Don’t tell these guys.  They’re really committed to the lie:

6/30/10

Here is the letter by Texas Attorney General Greg Abbott:

The White House

1600 Pennsylvania Avenue NW

Washington, DC 20500

Dear Mr. President,

Deadly violence from drug cartels and transnational gangs in Mexico is knocking on the United States’ door with ever increasing frequency.

Yesterday, gunfire from the cartels pierced that threshold and struck City Hall in El Paso. Fortunately no one was injured or killed. But that good fortune was not the result of effective border control – it was mere luck that the bullets struck buildings rather than bodies.

Luck and good fortune are not effective border enforcement policies. The shocking reality of cross border gunfire proves the cold reality: American lives are at risk. As the attached news article notes: “More than 1,300 people have been murdered in Juárez this year as a war continues relentlessly between the Juárez and Sinaloa drug cartels.” Americans must be protected as this deadly war bulges at our border.

Not protecting our states from foreign invaders, encouraging it in fact, is gross neglect of duty and grounds for Impeachment.  In a time of record unemployment, while Congress is constantly bickering over extending unemployment benefits constituting a “jobs bill”, the US Secretary of Labor is doing promos for a hotline advertising for illegal aliens to call in and “get their due” for the jobs they’ve stolen from the tens of millions of unemployed and underemployed.  Doesn’t she know that she’s breaking the law?

In closing, The Amnestasizer shot his wad of revisionist history in the Statue of Liberty’s hair.

“Here at our sea-washed, sunset gates shall stand,” she wrote,

A mighty woman with a torch…
From her beacon-hand
Glows world-wide welcome…
“Keep, ancient lands, your storied pomp!”…
“Give me your tired, and your poor,
Your huddled masses yearning to be free…
Send these, the homeless, tempest-tossed to me,
I lift my lamp beside the golden door!”

Let us remember these words. For it falls on each generation to ensure that that lamp -– that beacon -– continues to shine as a source of hope around the world, and a source of our prosperity here at home.

Ummm, no. That torch is meant to represent Liberty and Freedom to the world as an example.  A beacon to people escaping oppression not unlike the one being prescribed by Mad King Barack, M.D.  It was not to attract all of the gnats and insects like some ancient bug zapper with the lure of the DREAM Act, ObamaCare, SEIU card-check and a voter ID you commie scumbag.

These women, and men and women across this country like them, remind us that immigrants have always helped to build and defend this country -– and that being an American is not a matter of blood or birth.

Utter insanity.  With this speech, every thief, rapist, drug dealer and murderer in Mexico and Central America knows that if they can get over the border before November that they have a chance at becoming a US citizen without so much as a background check.

I’m not a religious person but God fucking help us all.

“Diversity”  had its biggest setback since the last time this weekend when The Woman With The Biggest Chip On Her Shoulder gave a commencement speech to a bunch of neo-segregationists:

Michelle Obama told graduates Saturday to prepare to overcome adversity, building on Martin Luther King Jr.’s 1958 commencement address at the same university, when he told students to summon their courage to fight segregation.

The first lady gave an impassioned speech to 270 graduates of the University of Arkansas at Pine Bluff that referenced the legacy of their historically black school, which opened in 1873 with seven students, most of whom could barely read.

…

“Let’s just imagine how those seven students would feel if they could see you here today,” Obama told a packed downtown arena.

Imagine seven black students in 1873 cheering that their descendants would still be separated from learning with children of others races in the year 2010.  By choice.   In 1873, seven students could barely read.  In 2010, they can barely comprehend.  Your chocolate’s not going anywhere near my peanut butter!

If Martin Luther King Jr. “told students to summon their courage to fight segregation”, what measure of success is it that the President, his bitter half and a cottage industry of grievance colleges encourage drinking at a separate but equal educational water fountain?

People in the audience said they hope her appearance draws more attention to historically black colleges.

Promoting and underwriting a racially segregationist public education is banned by the Constitution and is downright un-American.  It’s too bad that Mrs. Obama’s commencement speech is more akin to the Bull Connor than to Brown vs. the Board of Education.

Abortion rights advocates are disturbed. Spelman College professor Beverly Guy-Sheftall called the strategy a gimmick.

“To use racist arguments to try to bait black people to get them to be anti-abortion is just disgusting,” said Guy-Sheftall, who teaches women’s history and feminist thought at the historically black women’s college.

“These one-issue approaches that are not about saving the black family or black children, it’s just a big distraction,” she said. “Many black people don’t know who Margaret Sanger is and could care less.”

To use anti-racist arguments to bait black people into killing themselves is what’s disgusting in an evil genius kind of way.  You don’t know who Margaret Sanger is but I assure you that she’s looking up to you and smiling at this very moment for continuing her pioneering work in  “Weed” Eradication.

Fortunately for you, your mother was not as “educated” as you are.

Dramatic Re-enactment

Portrait of 69,456,897 Oddballs. We’re going to need a bigger canvas:

A family source said Bishop…was a far-left political extremist who was “obsessed” with President Obama to the point of being off-putting.

This story of the Alabama professor who gunned down her colleagues just keeps getting stranger and stranger. After all, I’ve never heard of a far-left extremist in Academia with an off-putting Obama cult mentality before.

Somebody get Incompetano monitoring the Twitter feeds. We may have to shut down every single U.S. college and newsroom. When this latter-day Unabombette was questioned about mailing a pipebomb to a doctor thanklessly tasked with examining some of her research:

“She was quite cavalier about it,” Fluckiger said of Bishop’s description of her interview with police. She said Bishop “grinned” as she described being asked by cops whether she’d ever taken stamps off an envelope and fastened them onto something else. “I cannot tell you what the grin meant,” Fluckiger said.

Seven years prior, Bishop shot her brother to death in Braintree in an incident that was ruled an accident at the time.

Somehow none of this disqualified her from jumping in front of a classroom full of kids.

Oh, and she tried to hold up a car dealership.  It’s stuff like this that makes Massachusetts look like some commie cuddling, crook coddling CuckooLand.

Sometimes appearances can be deceiving.  Other times, devastatingly accurate.

Homeland Security can just wait until Bishop gets her own show on MSNBC. At least that would ensure that her infectious ideas won’t be exposed to as many people as the university.

No word yet as to whether the President will send out some free t-shirts for the victims but I expect a full rebuke of violent, leftwing looney bin radio is forthcoming.

Really, what would we do without the Federal Government? Here, Kathleen Sebelius, former Governor of Kansas, demonstrates how to cough properly.

Leave it to the Anti-American Associated Press to find this event newsworthy.

In next week’s installment, the Federal Government will teach us how to use soap.

I mean, come on, all he’s telling them is to stay in school and learn to read, right?

When President Bush Sr wanted to tell kids not to do drugs, they dragged him in front of Congress and tried to get him impeached.

I say we drag Rahm, Axlegrease, Soros and the rest of the Administration before Congress and just spit loogies on them. We don’t even have to question them. Just coat them with phlegm and then tell them to get the hell out.

The worst part of all this? The fact that we even have a Federal Department of Education. No President should have a role in public education. Period.