Needless to say, when you’ve lost a white, vinegary Leftist like Bill Maher – your baggeth runneth over (sausage link to Noel Sheppard at the invaluable NewsBusters):

‘Baggin’ It

BILL MAHER: Let me ask you about another occupation, because this is – and you would be good on this too, panel -, the occupation, the Occupy Wall Street, because similar to Afghanistan, when you occupy anything for too long people do get pissed off. And as I watch them on the news now I find myself almost agreeing with Newt Gingrich. Like, you know what – get a job. Only because, you know, the people who originally started, I think they went home and now it’s just these anarchist stragglers. And this is the problem when you, you know, when your movement involves sleeping over in the park. You wind up attracting the people who were sleeping over in the park anyway.

Please adjust your nozzles accordingly.  That comment may come as a shock to any CBS watching diaper defiler, NPR latte enema-ed poser, or MSNBC kool-aid jello-shooter.

With your feeble attempts to play PR Ernie Pyles for Obama’s Army of unwashed Overcredentialed Under-educateds. Or your futile, shirt-wrenching efforts to plant victory gardens in the barren earth of these buy-now, pay-never Anarchists for greater state control.  The only thing that stood in the way of tilling such a fertile narrative was the immovable stone of Subject and the Content.

Were that we able to douche you out to sea with them.

Grab some Brawndo and enjoy:

CHARLES KRAUTHAMMER: [The President] talks a good game. “Oh, I’m prepared to do entitlements, I’m ready to do entitlements.” Not once has he ever enunciated in public – other than all these leaks which I don’t trust for half a second – one structural change in entitlements, and without that, everybody over the age of nine knows we are not going to get a handle on the debt. So let’s hear him say it in public once.

NINA TOTENBERG, NPR: So why is it when he offered the big deal, the $4 trillion deal…

GORDON PETERSON, HOST: The grand bargain. It’s got electrolytes.

TOTENBERG: …the grand bargain (It’s got electrolytes), Republicans backed away from it?  It’s got what Republicans crave.

KRAUTHAMMER: When did he offer that?

TOTENBERG: He offered that last week.  What Republicans crave!

KRAUTHAMMER: Where?

TOTENBERG: In, he did it, publicly and in negotiations.

KRAUTHAMMER: In your leaks? What’s in the $4 trillion?

TOTENBERG: But Charles.

KRAUTHAMMER: Give me a number. Explain to me what’s in it.

TOTENBERG: Why is it, in two, in matter of two days, Republicans backed away from that and said we don’t want it?  It’s got what Republicans crave.  It’s got electrolytes!

KRAUTHAMMER: You accept everything he says, a $4 trillion deal, if you don’t have a single item in it that you can enunciate.

TOTENBERG: Well, I’m not at the table. Perhaps you are, but I’m not.

RAUTHAMMER: Well then how does he expect America to accept something in which he explains nothing?

TOTENBERG:    But he’s giving Republicans what they crave.  He actually said I’m going to get heat from my own people.

KRAUTHAMMER: My colleagues are demonstrating a point I’ve been trying to make about how you have a completely compliant, pliant, supine press accepting every leak out of the White House. Tell me, we have been told, I’ve heard it again and again that the President’s prepared to do, to make cuts in entitlements. Name me one.

These are the allegedly smart, well-informed Washington insider media.  Which one can escape the lure of the mystery box???  Entitlement reform might save Social Security, but the mystery box could be anything!

At this point President Camacho, aka Captain Awesome, flicked everyone the bird and acknowledged that everyone’s shit is real sensitive right now but that he has a plan to make the crops grow again.  Crops which we can then slap out of a starving child’s mouth so that we can put it into a car’s gas tank which will ultimately ruin it’s engine.   A very complicated plan that requires a measly additional $2,000,000,000,000.00 to make it through the next year or he’s going to be forced to shoot grandma in the face, stab our troops in the back and layoff all the food inspectors.

No cuts to a non-existent high speed rail to Iowa City is still untouchable though.  Still got a billion to give to Hamas.

Let them eat Extra Big Ass Fries.  No, wait.  You can’t have Extra Big Ass Fries.  Only I and my fugly wife can have Extra Big Ass Fries. F*ck you, I’m eating.

You can have Peas.  They actually do have electrolytes.

I’m afraid some stuff just isn’t newsworthy.

Father of the Year, Frank Lindh, still doing a bang-up job.

Proud Papa Frank Lindh, whose diseased loin sprang forth the American Taliban, has a full page op-ed in the New York Times today lamenting why his son has not been similarly sprung from the womb of a federal penitentiary upon Osama Bin Laden’s premature evacuation of this living world.  As Mr. Lindh is an attorney, he is so highly learned that he cannot distinguish the crimes of Osama bin Laden from those of his son.

So, upon the death of bin Laden, his son should be free as a bird.  Right?

Like Ernest Hemingway during the Spanish Civil War, John had volunteered for the army of a foreign government battling an insurgency. He thought he could help protect Afghan civilians against brutal attacks by the Northern Alliance warlords seeking to overthrow the Taliban government. His decision was rash and blindly idealistic, but not sinister or traitorous. He was 20 years old.

We’ll linger on the “20 year old” part in a moment.  But like Hemingway, the younger Lindh joined those idealistic Taliban in fighting off those Nazi Afghan warlords and to inure those poor, Afghan civilians’ throats to the loving strangle of the Taliban.  If ever there was a moment to mind you’re own effing business, this Old Man in the CIA prison never took advantage.

Before 9/11, the Bush administration was not hostile to the Taliban; barely four months before the attacks it gave $43 million in humanitarian aid to Afghanistan. There was nothing treasonous in John’s volunteering for the Afghan Army in the spring of 2001. He had no involvement with terrorism.

Just this last week, one of our nation’s eternal embarrassments – Jimmy Carter – called us “human rights violators” for not giving aid to North Korea despite their repeated violations of sanctions.  Does us providing humanitarian aid to North Korea, or Iraq under Saddam Hussein or any shithole in the world carry the import of our endorsement of the regime in power?  This is more than disingenuous.  It is, in fact, a damnable lie that the Bush administration gave its blessing to the Taliban so that Failure Frank can lay down his own suppressing fire for Jihad Johnny.  The Times editors know this and chose to keep it.

If this is the new standard then we should immediately cease and desist all humanitarian aid to every country whose leader is not as pure as the driven snow.

I was stunned when I learned that John had gone to Afghanistan. It wasn’t our fight; he put himself in harm’s way without his parents’ approval. He did not go into Afghanistan alone; he took his family with him, and we all have suffered for his impulsive choice.

Does a 20 year old need permission from their parents anymore to do anything?  I realize Mr. Lindh says he is an attorney so I’ll trust him on that.  Hopefully, he’s also aware that the same laws provide Taliban Johnny with the free choice to make his own decisions also mean that we don’t get to prosecute him as the father since Young John’s defects clearly lie with the manufacturer.  And shouldn’t he bear some civil and financial responsibility for putting out this defective product without a warning label that ended up killing others?

Now that Bin Laden is dead, I hope President Obama, and the American people, can find it in their hearts to release John, and let him come home. Ten years is enough.

Ten years for his running guns for the Taliban and staying silent when being questioned by the CIA Agents who were murdered in the riot he could have alerted them about is not long enough.  He deserves to be shot at dawn every morning.

Look deep into my heart.   No.

This month a two tour Iraq War veteran was shot 60 times in his own home by his own government while your piece of shit is kept safe from harm at US taxpayer expense to continue practicing the diseased religion that threatened the life of the former.  If ever we were able to trade the two.

Mike Spann is still unavailable for comment. Though I’d hope the Times could find the balls to let his father respond in a full-page OpEd.  We already know the answer to that one though.

Just like we know the entire transcript of the conversation between Spann and Lindh shortly before the riot that he could have alerted them to.  He sided in silence in favor of the Taliban after September 11th.  He should have been executed on the spot.

This lover’s spat between the San Francisco Chronicle and Obama is getting out of hand.  In Tennessee, at least one party has to be arrested if the police arrive to a domestic violence call and see evidence of physical injury.  It’s the law.

However, it’s doubtful that Eric Holder is going to be flashing his blue lights or that Janet Incompetano will ride to the rescue in her extra-husky black wranglers for this collar.

The White House says a San Francisco Chronicle reporter broke the rules when she put down her pen and picked up a video camera to film a protest. The newspaper says the Obama administration needs to join the 21st century.

The conflict hit the newspaper’s front page Friday with a story about coverage of the protest during President Barack Obama’s speech last week at a private fundraiser.

It highlights the perils that arise when traditional arrangements between news organizations and politicians meet the modern reality that anyone with a smartphone can become a video journalist.

“Modern Day Reality” means a camera?  What is this – 1885?

That “traditional arrangement” would be to protect the comfortable in exchange for access.  Like Eason Jordan of CNN covering up Saddam Hussein’s atrocities to keep his Baghdad bureau open, every other media outlet in the U.S. has reached a similar arrangement for Barack Hussein so that they can keep snapping their pictures of his head in front of the presidential seal so that it resembles a halo.  And to photoshop out the horns as agreed.

I thought when you wanted to Change America ™ that “traditional arrangements” went out the window.  What was supposed to be an open marriage has not-so-suddenly become an abusive relationship.  Buck up, sugar.  He’s still such a catch.

Dan Gillmor, a media critic and head of the Knight Center for Digital Media Entrepreneurship at Arizona State University, said the White House needs to update the rules for its pool reports to match the realities of 21stcentury reporting.

But he also said newspapers should do more to embrace the new reality that amateurs are capable of providing their own records of events, showing a wider range of perspectives. For example, he said the Chronicle could focus more on providing a platform for amateur video, which would expand the definition of the press pool to anyone with a video camera.

In a Syrian sense, Obama’s the Reformer (like Assad) and this is really the SF Chronicle’s fault anyway.  Just look at how they were dressed all with a tape recorder and flip camera.  If you’re a reporter, you know not to go out in public all dolled up like that.

Put some ice on it, honey.   After all, no one in the media went into journalism to be objective.

The entire news media has a black eye today and they totally earned it.

Poll Taxes, it seems, are breaking out all over in the mid-state.  Take the plight of this at-risk youth:

NASHVILLE, Tenn. – A former TSU student on trial for murder in Arkansas said he killed a man in East Nashville in 2006.

Abdulhakim Muhammad is accused of killing one Army soldier and wounding another outside a military recruiting station in 2009. He’s now confessed to shooting a Nashville man as part of a “Jihad Operation.”

The father of Carlos Bledsoe believes his son became an extremist Muslim during his time in Nashville.

…

Muhammad did travel to Yemen after attending Tennessee State University. He said he is a member of Al-Qaeda, but detectives haven’t found any proof of that claim.

In other words, Defendant Muhammad’s undocumented membership in Al Qaeda has denied him Allah’s glory by our racist police department.  The failure of both Al Qaeda and the state of Tennessee to preserve Mr. Muhammad’s civil rights and to allow him to express himself fully because of his minority status calls back to the days of Jim Crow, Bull Connor, firehoses and german shepherds.  Selma ™ even.

Of course, Mr. Muhammad was in no way radicalized by Nashville’s peace palace the Al-Farooq Islamic Center whose annual Hate Crime Hoax performance art has entertained and educated the city through their self-deprecating DIY vandalism. The Al-Farooq Peace Palace has also posted a strongly worded rebuke to Mr. Muhammad’s black father of “malicious, xenophobic allegations”.

Al-Farooq Islamic Center would like to take this opportunity to refute strongly the malicious, xenophobic allegation purpoted against our center during the congressional hearing addressing homegrown islamic terrorism. As many of you might have heard, a certain mr. Melvin Bledsoe, have accused our center of teaching radicalism to our kids. These allegations are not only baseless, but they are also absurd and contrary to what Al-Farooq Islamic Center stands for.

Well that settles that.  When a 19 year old converts to Islam and wins an all expenses paid trip to a terrorist training camp in Yemen and returns to murder a US soldier at a recruiting facility then  it was obviously underwritten by his summer lawn mowing business and at the urging of those no-goodniks at the Elks Lodge.

I hope the Nashville City Paper, the Nashville Scene and The Nashville Post (ed: I repeat myself) will run cover story after cover story to bring attention to the plight of our state’s under-documented Islamic jihadi enthusiasts.

If they don’t get free government issued IDs so that we can identify the real ones from the pretenders then those really dangerous Nazi, KKK Republicans have already won or something.

Hammered by the automobile industry’s decline, Detroit’s population plummeted 25 percent over the past decade amid an economic downturn so severe that Michigan was the only state that failed to gain residents, according to 2010 Census data released Tuesday.

Detroit is the town that unions built and then destroyed.  If you think they’re such a great idea, then go back to where you came from and make it work.

After being sold for a dollar to a Far Left California Congresswoman, they’re taking The Nashville City Paper route and insulting their readership in an attempt to gain advertisers.  Is that how Old Media papers used to work when they were successful?  This week’s cover story:

How Dumb Are We?

NEWSWEEK gave 1,000 Americans the U.S. Citizenship Test–38 percent failed. The country’s future is imperiled by our ignorance.

Like all liberal attempts to fingerpoint, there are four more fingers pointing back at themselves.

Exit question:  If people are so stupid, how is this not the teacher’s union fault?  They’re the ones who failed to educate them about US history after all.  Did they miss that class in between Gender Studies and Ecology?

Correction: This is all Charles Maldonado’s wife’s fault.

Worth Every Penny: Even at the low, low cost of FREE no one is reading your agitprop and we'd love to see those Enron accounting circulation numbers.

In case no one has seen a City Paper rack recently, the decline in readership is proportional to it’s Nashville Scene-ification.  To wit, today’s COVER STORY is a 3,000+ word liberal broadside by a freelancing, freeloading Michigander transplant who mooches off his Nashville teacher wife in support of Unions:

Here’s the thing: I believe in unions. I’m not supposed to say that for a number of good reasons. But I think I might be over that now, being free to say the following.

The anti-union legislation now making its way toward passage in our state legislature is not only mean-spirited and unnecessary, but it’s the worst kind of shallow, cynical politics that this shallow, cynical country can produce.

Not shallow and cynical enough for us to turn away all of your illegal aliens, eh Chuckles?

For those J-School grads out there, this is what a resignation looks like.  Charles Maldonado is no longer a credible source for any reporting, freelance or otherwise, and should be summarily dismissed from ever filing for The Nashville City Paper again.  But we know that won’t happen because some editor looked at his 3,000+ word hate screed and thought “Let’s put this on the cover!”

It gets better.

I do not for one second believe that Republicans in the state legislature believe their rhetoric about teachers’ unions. In saying that I’m being generous to them, because if they did believe it, they’d be as gullible and incapable of critical thinking as they present themselves to be. Consider that for a second now, and then again after you finish reading how virtually every bit of factual information in this “debate” over unions has been distorted by officeholders currently waging a political war.

I’m a reporter. I can’t even say any of the above aloud under normal circumstances, let alone write it for publication, but there it is. I’d offer my letter of resignation, but I’m a freelancer, and I can’t resign from my non-job.

Is that final sentence the crux of this bird-flipping to red state Tennessee?  The ball-less Nashville City Paper / Scene staff don’t have the guts to sign the editorial themselves so they farm it to an out-of-state freelancer to provide cover for their cowardice?

I’m also from Michigan, and that means I grew up believing that the labor movement is either directly or indirectly responsible for many good things, not just greed, graft, corruption, political manipulation, and the widescale theft of billions from public treasuries.

That one confused me.  Is he acknowledging Union greed, graft, corruption, political manipulation and widescale theft of public treasuries or is he projecting that onto Republicans?

I think we can all agree that Tennessee would do well to emulate Detroit’s policies and all the good Unions have done for them.

Among them: the 40-hour work week; workplace safety regulations; whistleblower protection; some measure of dignity for people who work for a living; and more or less creating the American middle class. But then again, I was brainwashed. I’m sure if I were from Tennessee, I would know that Davy Crockett did most of that.

So if you don’t subscribe to Chuckle’s pro-union view then you’re a backwater hick who thinks Davey Crockett invented OSHA.  Fuck you, seriously.

Toot-toot-toot.  Unionists belt out “40 Hour Work Week” like it was their only number one hit from 1899 and they’ll play it until Dick Clark quits inviting them on Bandstand.

The last and best reason for me to believe in unions is that my wife, Jenny, who is by far the breadwinner in our home — somehow managing to outshine the $7,159 I pulled in last year by a factor of, let’s say, a lot — is herself a Metro Nashville Public Schools teacher, and thus, the current target of choice for the state GOP’s campaign of folksy divisiveness and arbitrary, albeit maybe focus-grouped, derision. (Or at least she’s one of a select few that includes women, non-Christians — especially Muslims and to a slightly lesser degree seculars — poor people, sick people, children unless they’re not born yet, the whole LGBT spectrum, all immigrants except the ones from business-y countries, and anyone uncomfortable with the idea of being armed all of the time. I think that covers the big ones.)

The last and best reason – unions personally enrich me!

Oh, and if you don’t support giving this jackoff who moved from Michigan to Tennessee because it was so great there then you also hate the poor, the sick, Muslims, atheists, the almighty chirren, gays, spics, wops, dagos, trannies, handicapped wheelchair ramps, free internet access, Black History Month, low-fat margarine, climate change and NPR.  Did we forget anyone?

This is the cover story of a once somewhat respectable DAILY paper now reduced to being the Monday and Thursday version of the Nashville Scene.

A loss of bargaining rights will leave Jenny with nothing between her and lower wages, a reasonable pension and health care contribution, and undoubtedly, wide-scale layoffs at some point.

She’ll still has you, Romeo.  Sitting at home on your ass.  Pulling down $7k large on your populist soapbox being paid to pretend to be a reporter.  I believe it was the famous Beatle Keith Moon who said, “all you need is love”.

Wide scale layoffs from the government hasn’t happened in Obama’s Depression.  Layoffs are what people in the private sector feel.

“You have no idea what it’s like to get in the car, every day, to and from work, and listen to people in the news trashing your profession,” Jenny said.

Of course not.  No one could.  Unless they happened to work for a bank, an energy company, Wal-Mart, an insurance company, a Japanese auto manufacturer who employs Americans, the US Chamber of Commerce, and any other private sector company during Obama’s Two Minutes Hate against non-government business.

It rambles on and on and on and on and on everything from Tennessee unionists not being in-your-face enough like those successful Michigan ones to wild accusations about CCA (the private prison company) running it’s own Fight Club.  You broke Rule #1, Chucky!

The Closer:

The Wrong side has always been composed of living people who likely don’t realize, in the moment, that their actions and beliefs would one day be judged as bankrupt. At one time you could have asked some of them, ordinary mortal humans like Joe McCarthy or George Wallace, how it feels to have your life worked over like that, your ordinary mortal human actions retold over and over again as the bad guy part in a morality play for so many consecutive years. It would have to be a kind of living hell, made all the worse by the fact that it was the hell nearly everyone thought they deserved.

We’ve already been judged as bankrupt.  Literally.  Our country is bankrupt.  Not morally.  Financially.  Not bending over for unions does not mean people supported George Wallace turning firehoses on black people, you delusional asshole.  Although Joe McCarthy would have a field day with all of the certified Communists in the Labor movement.

There goes Separation of Church and State out the window again.  We live in “Hells we think we deserve” but Heaven is available if you want the government to provide it for you.

Just ask for forgiveness on bended knee before your secular god.  Your handout will runneth over.

I’ll keep my closer short:

You take to the pages of a once respectable paper ruined by your deadbeat bosses to insult Tennesseans as racist hillbillies who think Davey Crockett invented the light bulb.

This is how you ask for people to support your position.  Then again, it’s really not.  You know you’ve lost so you’re setting fire to the oil wells with the help of your cowardly editors hiding under the skirt of your tenuous employment relationship that was their responsibility.

Go back to Michigan, asshole, and take your moron wife with you where you will be appreciated.

And for the Scene Editors, if you gave a shit about Charles Maldonado you could have given him a full-time job and offered him healthcare coverage.  Would that have cut into Jeff Woods’ skull simonizing budget or Jim Ridley’s Analese allowance?  Judging by the current staff, evidently he’s not white enough.

You gave a Facebook rant cover story to a guy who’s welfare is your responsibility.  Gutless, blame shifting cowards.  This was the editorial equivalent of a suicide bombing of your own paper’s last couple of readers.

At a joint presser with Felipe Calderon and President Davis, Jr., the Accomplice Press got their “one question”.  After applauding President Davis for his many words on Libya and a kinda, sorta answering his own question about imposing a useless “no-fly” zone, he finally gets to his well-thought out point – Hey, when are you going to intervene in that civil war between the NFL’s multimillionaire athletes and hundred millionaire owners?

Absolutely shameful.   Ben Feller of the AP should be fired before he gets back to the office.

At a time when Mexico is embroiled in an appallingly violent drug war that is leaving dozens dead, beheaded even, every single weekend.  At a time when gas is already over $4.00 a gallon.  Where governments in the Middle East are falling like dominoes or hanging on by gunning down innocents in the streets.  Where two US soldiers were assassinated by the Muslim offspring of the people Clinton “liberated” from civilization in Kosovo.  Where a Florida judge has ruled Obama’s landmark entitlement healthcare bill unconstitutional.  Where February 2011 had close to 400,000 people filed for unemployment benefits for the first time again two years into his Presidency.  When his Attorney General just stood before Congress yesterday and defended dismissing charges in a voter intimidation case because the defendants were the correct race.  When corrupt unions are assaulting taxpayers in the streets to preserve pensions that they don’t deserve and the country cannot  in any way, shape or form be able to afford.

Nah, use that one question to ask about pampered football players in the offseason.  Well played, sir.

Now wipe your chin off and ask for a towel.  The money’s on the nightstand as usual.